Google Vs. The English

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The Wooster

King Snap
Jul 15, 2008
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Google Vs. The English


Ask Google to "define an English person" and it'll give you a rather unpleasant term.

By the time you read this Google will most likely have 'fixed' the issue, but currently the first Google search result for "define an English person" is a Wikipedia page dedicated to a certain word.

That word - and I suggest more delicate readers avert their eyes at this point - is "****," [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/**** ] ladies and gentlemen. Charming.

Google is aware of the problem, and according to one employee, it "looks like a bad case of ranking that we're looking into."

The "C word," as some people insist on calling it, is widely considered the most severe curse word in the English language. Feminist scholar Germaine Greer once called it "one of the few remaining words in the English language with a genuine power to shock." Yep, I took that from that Wikipedia page, thanks Google.

Some suspect the errant search result isn't a glitch, but a deliberate joke pulled off by glib pranksters using a process called "Google-bombing." By creating large numbers of hyperlinks connected to a certain phrase, unscrupulous users can bump that phrase to the top of the Google rankings. Famous examples of this include searches for "miserable failure," which brought up a picture of U.S President George W. Bush, "weapons of mass destruction," which brought up a parody 404 page [http://www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/] and "Hell" which took users to Microsoft's homepage. [http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/default.aspx] Google keeps on changing its search algorithms to combat the practice but hasn't managed to stamp it out yet.

Ironically the people least likely to be offended by the page are the English themselves; as we tend to use the word particularly liberally. Often in lieu of punctuation, in fact.



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DustyDrB

Made of ticky tacky
Jan 19, 2010
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True story: I was 20 years old before I knew **** was considered profanity. I used the word in the office where I was interning (I think I used it while referring to Dane Cook) and then everything got really quiet and awkward for a while. I actually received some rather cold stares.

I'd just not heard the word used much locally (South Caroline) in my entire life (in retrospect, I guess it was because they "weren't supposed to use it"), and had made friends with a few people from England who used the who used it pretty regularly. So I was never conditioned to feel strongly about it (I equated it with calling someone a dick. Not nice, but noteworthy either). I still don't either.

And there's the lesson: It's all cultural conditioning. It's weird how some words become taboo and others don't, even when they can have the same meaning (or at least the same denotation, but not always the same connotation).
 

Fasckira

Dice Tart
Oct 22, 2009
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I used to have a tshirt that said "Warning: This tshirt may contain the word ****" in the kind of warning logo/parental advisory style. I was young and thought it was fun to wear, but got so many dirty looks. One time a girl actually crossed over to me to tell me she found my tshirt offensive, so I asked her what part. Nearly earnt me a slap.

But yes, now Im older/wiser etc, I try to avoid using the word. Generally slips out when Im angry though and wishing to describe the person driving in front of me for example when she indicates left and pulls into the right and into my path. :p

EDIT: Also, Ive heard people use the following to say "it" without actually saying "it": C U Next Tuesday.
 

Aeshi

New member
Dec 22, 2009
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[sarcasm]It's good to know such a widely-used part of the Internet is kept in such good hands.[/sarcasm]
 

Metalrocks

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Jan 15, 2009
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RhombusHatesYou said:
Australians have used that as the standard definition for the English for over a century. :D
true. i've heard it a lot down there. its pretty much a common phrase like shit. my friend uses it practically every time. of course among friends.
 

Hookman

New member
Jul 2, 2008
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Is there any signifance to using Mitchell and Webb's picture? Are you implying anything?

OT: I just checked it and they haven't even fixed it yet. Its a few links down but its still there! There are some days where existence itself makes me smile. This is one of those days.
 

Edd4224

New member
Jul 5, 2011
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Thank you for using that picture of Mitchell and Webb. Robert Webb's face is fantastic.

I think most English people will have a small chuckle at this. While I dont tend to use **** that often, when the situation calls for it it can be a good tool to use.
 

Darkmantle

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Oct 30, 2011
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I honestly don't understand why calling someone a **** is worse than calling someone a dick... what's the difference?
 

SonicWaffle

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Oct 14, 2009
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Grey Carter said:
Ironically the people least likely to be offended by the page are the English themselves; as we tend to use the word particularly liberally. Often in lieu of punctuation, in fact.
The temptation to write out a reply using the word **** instead of every instance of punctuation was so tempting, but I don't want to attract the wrath of the banhammer.

Why, by the way, are you using Mitchell & Webb to represent Englishmen? Are you saying they are typical specimins, or that they're cunts? :p
 

SonicWaffle

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Oct 14, 2009
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Darkmantle said:
I honestly don't understand why calling someone a **** is worse than calling someone a dick... what's the difference?
I'd guess it's that the word '****' sounds more aggressive, with the hard c at the beginning. Plus, it's been built up as "the worst word" while other swears are dimishing in shock value, so I suppose it's worse because we're told it's worse.

That said, regional variations can make a big difference too. Ever hear an American call someone a twat? They pronounce it 'twot' and it's so hilariously posh-sounding and silly that it's impossible to take offense. It's like being called a silly-billy :p
 

RedEyesBlackGamer

The Killjoy Detective returns!
Jan 23, 2011
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"****" is considered a curse word? Huh, I always thought it was like "dick". Well, I know what word to avoid when around family.
 

SonicWaffle

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Oct 14, 2009
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RedEyesBlackGamer said:
"****" is considered a curse word? Huh, I always thought it was like "dick". Well, I know what word to avoid when around family.
Any word can be a curse word, it just depends on how you use it. Add a little variety to your swearing, and let's see if we can make "spunky carrot" rude!
 

The Wooster

King Snap
Jul 15, 2008
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SonicWaffle said:
RedEyesBlackGamer said:
"****" is considered a curse word? Huh, I always thought it was like "dick". Well, I know what word to avoid when around family.
Any word can be a curse word, it just depends on how you use it. Add a little variety to your swearing, and let's see if we can make "spunky carrot" rude!
Okay.

"Spunky carrot."

SonicWaffle said:
Grey Carter said:
Ironically the people least likely to be offended by the page are the English themselves; as we tend to use the word particularly liberally. Often in lieu of punctuation, in fact.
The temptation to write out a reply using the word **** instead of every instance of punctuation was so tempting, but I don't want to attract the wrath of the banhammer.

Why, by the way, are you using Mitchell & Webb to represent Englishmen? Are you saying they are typical specimins, or that they're cunts? :p
Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.
 

SL33TBL1ND

Elite Member
Nov 9, 2008
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RhombusHatesYou said:
Australians have used that as the standard definition for the English for over a century. :D
Now that made me laugh.

OT: One of the more... interesting Google bombs over the years.
 

RedEyesBlackGamer

The Killjoy Detective returns!
Jan 23, 2011
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Grey Carter said:
SonicWaffle said:
RedEyesBlackGamer said:
"****" is considered a curse word? Huh, I always thought it was like "dick". Well, I know what word to avoid when around family.
Any word can be a curse word, it just depends on how you use it. Add a little variety to your swearing, and let's see if we can make "spunky carrot" rude!
Okay.

"Spunky carrot."

SonicWaffle said:
Grey Carter said:
Ironically the people least likely to be offended by the page are the English themselves; as we tend to use the word particularly liberally. Often in lieu of punctuation, in fact.
The temptation to write out a reply using the word **** instead of every instance of punctuation was so tempting, but I don't want to attract the wrath of the banhammer.

Why, by the way, are you using Mitchell & Webb to represent Englishmen? Are you saying they are typical specimins, or that they're cunts? :p
Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.
Is Piers Morgan like your Bill O'Reilly? Insanely hated, but stupidly popular? I never see him mentioned in a positive light. He must really be a spunky carrot.