Grit those teeth!

[akai]

My suggestion to you is: find what it is that makes you happy and focus on that. Working out will definitely help your mood, plus it clears your head, but surely there are other things you can do for yourself. Pursue your other interests. If you're working on your diet, that's great, try out a new healthy recipe every day. Learn more about food that's good for you and experiment with it. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Maybe you can visit some new places, just local places that you've never visited before, you don't have to take a trip to another country if you can't afford it. Go out and get some fresh air, enjoy the beauty of nature. Read more about your favorite topics. Try to learn how you can improve your chances of getting a new job. Maybe there's a skill you can develop further. I find all these things helpful when I'm dealing with a bad experience, but sometimes even the stupidest things like watching a good comedy show can make my day. Basically you just have to remind yourself that what happened was just one segment of your life, there is a lot more for you to live for. Also, when faced with a problem/hardship, I try to look at it from a different perspective: what if this happened to my best friend/sister, etc.? What advice would I give them? How would I help them find a constructive way to deal with the situation? How would I comfort them? Then I apply the advice to myself.

 

[hazabaza1]

As for myself, I can't say I have many ways to handle bad stuff because I don't really get out enough for bad stuff to happen to me. The most recent really bad thing was similarly but really downplayed a relationship ending, but I stopped making that the focus of my world pretty quickly with the whole distracting myself.
Of course when I run out of things to distract myself with that's when I can think about it properly and the regrets and the anger etc come back but w/e.

 

[Andy Shandy]

I watch my favourite comedies. Scrubs, Arrested Development, Community. Something makes me laugh eventually, no matter how sad I get.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

snip

Kinda drippy, but I appreciate the sentiment nonetheless

As for myself, I can't say I have many ways to handle bad stuff because I don't really get out enough for bad stuff to happen to me. The most recent really bad thing was similarly but really downplayed a relationship ending, but I stopped making that the focus of my world pretty quickly with the whole distracting myself.
Of course when I run out of things to distract myself with that's when I can think about it properly and the regrets and the anger etc come back but w/e.

I was thinking of that scene when I posted the title, well, not that one, but the one where Kamina punches Simon, because Kamina is more awesome than Simon.

 

[hazabaza1]

snip

Kinda drippy, but I appreciate the sentiment nonetheless

As for myself, I can't say I have many ways to handle bad stuff because I don't really get out enough for bad stuff to happen to me. The most recent really bad thing was similarly but really downplayed a relationship ending, but I stopped making that the focus of my world pretty quickly with the whole distracting myself.
Of course when I run out of things to distract myself with that's when I can think about it properly and the regrets and the anger etc come back but w/e.

I was thinking of that scene when I posted the title, well, not that one, but the one where Kamina punches Simon, because Kamina is more awesome than Simon.

Yeah I was looking for that one but the only one I could find had like a twenty second grunge metal intro before the 5 second scene so that didn't really work.

Plus post timeskip Simon is better than Kamina. So there.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

But I'm punching the dirt...

oh you naughty dog, you!

I don't get it...

[HEADING=1]Tell me the joke, I must know![/HEADING]

 

[King of Asgaard]

Honestly, I don't know. I guess I just focus on something else for a week or two, and by the time I regain my composure, the situation no longer is a blight on my sanity, so I forget it and move on.

That said, I've never had to deal with a situation as person-breaking as yours, so I can't really properly say how I'd cope.

Still, good luck with your recovery; you seem to be doing well all things considered.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

But I'm punching the dirt, gritting those teeth...

Don't grit your teeth. It's terrible for them. Chips the enamel, erodes your gums, and can actually crack your molars if you grit them hard enough. =D

How do you guys deal with awful situations? Do you sulk on it? Do you push through them? Do you sort of let them fade away to a bad memory? I'm interested in how other people deal with stuff like this.

There is naught you can do but put your head down and soldier on. If you really want to turn this into some kind of positive/transformative experience, reflect on your many fuck ups during the relationship and try to fix a few of them. Even if you believe the other person is primarily to blame for the fallout, you can't very well fix them, and they wouldn't be appreciative if you tried. And despite being the gormless protagonists of our own life stories, we inevitably contribute heavily to our own romantic calamities.

I can say with authority that despite having some TRULY painful breakups in my twenties, including one where I was cheated on, they're all just amusing memories now. I'm friends with almost all my exes, and it doesn't even twinge me to think of the breakups (although it is mildly embarrassing to reflect on what an ass I made of myself during them).

You will experience some severe emotional traumas in your life time. Trust me when I say this is not one of them, however bad it may feel at the moment. Totally explains why you've been such a grumpass lately though. =P

 

[FamoFunk]

Sorry to hear that bro. I always push through my shitty situation without thought, I have small people to look after so I don't really have time to reflect and get over things properly. One day, when I have proper time, I think it'll all come back out at me and then I'll have time to get over them, I'm not a massive dweller though, which I find helpful in such situations.

 

[Akytalusia]

i accept reality for what it is, and focus my attention on dealing with each event efficiently, rather than wasting time dwelling on unnecessary aspects. this way i can move beyond rough spots quickly and minimize injuries.

 

[rasputin0009]

Hey, read your first post. I just want to say that you are still very young at the age of 25 and have a lot of time to do things and meet people. And this is kind of cheesy, but I'm gonna say it anyways; You can't experience happiness without experiencing sadness. So I guess, it gets better.

My way of gritting teeth, was to give alcohol a break. Since alcohol is a depressant as itself, it didn't help me get through things at all. Usually made it worse. And I've finally figured out when to separate drinking from sad times. I still drink alcohol, but only when I think things are going well for me at that moment or when there's a cause for celebration (no matter how little).

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

I just grit my teeth and move on with as little a hiccup as possible. Lifes hard, shit happens, people leave, die, betray and if I let it slow me down then I'll never get to where I want to go.
So now I don't slow when life hits me. I adapt and get over it quickly.

That approach does strain relationships sometimes though.

 

[Juste Goose]

I had severe suicidal depression for years, and I've finally started to get over it. Brought my GPA from a 1.1 to a 3.2 in one year. I honestly don't know what pulled me out of it.

I think a lot of it (the depression, that is) came from my life not going down the path I wanted. Out of high school, I took a year off to work because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. Seeing constant facebook posts about how much fun my uni-bound friends were having, all the friends they were making, all the interesting classes... I just felt like a useless deadbeat, and that I was missing out on something integral to my growing up. I slacked off in high school, so I didn't have the grades for four-year school, so I had to start at a junior college. I still felt bad there, maybe even worse, because my friends got have discussions in huge lecture halls, study in other countries, browse huge libraries, have some crazy res hall shenanigans, and I essentially went to high school part two in a plain white room in a strip mall.

I basically didn't care about anything at that point and started skipping classes. As you can imagine, my grades plummeted. That made me feel worse, because now I'd never get there. The worse I felt, the less motivation I had to do anything, and the more I would skip class.

Eventually, my grades were at the point where one more bad semester would get me kicked out. I don't know what happened honestly. It's just like someone flipped a switch in my head. I started going to every class, working hard, doing my homework, and doing everything I could to make up for the damage I'd done. I formed good relationships with my professors, only missed, like, one or two classes the entire semester (due to being sick,) and turned everything around.

This January, I (hopefully; applications pending) finally get to go to four-year school, where I've wanted to be my whole life.

I wish I knew what made the change happen. I think it was a combination of finding a major I loved, a sense of "this is your last chance," and just sort of realizing that my problems were only going to get better if I did something about them. The depression just kinda faded away just as it had come in. I know a lot of people struggle with depression and feel totally hopeless, either because of something out of their control or because they've dug themselves into a deep hole. I wish I had taken a cut-and-dry list of steps to get over it that I could pass along to them. All I can offer them is proof that it is possible to turn it around.

 

[KOMega]

Usually I can move on and just get past problems. Try not to dwell on problems but think of solutions, but there are some problems that you really can't walk away from, try to fix in any meaningful way, or even interact with in anyway except make it worse. Sometimes you gotta weather the storm. It can really start to grind down your patience and willpower being in situations in which you have almost no control or say.

When someone really gets under my skin and infuriates me to teeth gritting levels I try to find a place I can be alone, then do whatever swearing, cursing, table-smashing, wall-punching I need to then relax a little with something calming. Important that I try to block myself out of the world for the few precious minutes during the calming period.

Sometimes people are really dense and don't understand that you'd like to be left alone even when you tell them straight out. Sometimes they even get angry at you for telling them you don't have time for them at the moment. Blah... If they do that during the calming period, then I'm just not getting anything done the the rest of the day or few days >.>

Anyways, if I can properly get through all that I will have come out with a renewed mental shield to soak up the abuse and misery of the world for another few weeks.

 

[Bluestorm83]

In my life, whenever something bad happens to someone else, the same thing usually happens to me. When someone gets sick, I get the same symptoms. I don't mean that I catch the disease from them, I just kind of feel the same way. When my aunt was going through Chemo, I seemed to have lesser versions of all the horror that Chemo does to your body. It might be that Munchausen thing with the proxies... buuuuuut....

I like to think of myself as a painsink. Much like a heatsink, that absorbs heat from somewhere and keeps it away from where it can do real damage, I absorb a bit of everyone around me's suffering. When something REALLY bad happens that only affects me, I like to think that it would have happened to someone I care about instead if I hadn't been here.

Is that all self indulgent? Crazy? Kinda Messiah-complex like? Shit yeah it is. But it's better than just sitting there and thinking "Bad shit happens, no hope in sight, oh well." So I guess my advice is to find a small amount of self-delusion. Not too much, just enough to take the edge off. And keep it up until things get happier.

 

[Johnny Impact]

Ponder possible solutions to problem.
Realize problem is not solvable.
Work around problem as best I can.
Drive home with white-knuckle grip on wheel, entertaining murder fantasies about people who caused problem.
Eat comfort food.

 

[Johann610]

Agency. When I see a problem that grips me with terror or uncertainty, my first instinct is to act--what can I do about it? Break it down into a series of tasks--deposit the severance, buy cheap eats, walk along the park and rehearse the speech I need to ask for the job back, apply for unemployment, call my "backup plan" job prospects, and so on.
And then rationalize that I've done all I can, eat cheap soup, and dive back into TF2. TF2 makes me happy.