Guys are jerks. But girls...?

[meselfshimself]

I've been drinking socially for 8 years now...and I have never been in an altercation with another man...but I've had glasses thrown at me, been called names, and have even been attacked...by women.

Ok Ive been drinking socially for 12 years now and I cant say I've experience anything like this from a woman, the rare instances I have seen woman get violent or abusive towards men in bars, is usually when they were being harrassed by some Drunk egomaniac borderline rapist who cannot accept 'No' for an answer.
Everyone snaps at some point if pushed.

So with that in mind, are you telling us that all these attacks on you were just random / unprevoked?
If yes. then kindly share with us which Town/City you live in so we never ever visit it

 

[Navvan]

Sure, assholes can be either gender but eh... that girl in the FaceBook comment doesn't sound like that much of a jerk, sounds more like "Toby" is a creepy stalker. If you ask someone out and they aren't interested, then you back off and look else-where, following them around and showering gifts onto them isn't going to suddenly make them like you.

Although in that picture that guy comes across as a bit of a stalker, so I don't blame that girl for trying to avoid him

Now if someone could just get the guys doing it to stand back and see that.

I have put up with at least 2 of those guys and they are scary. She is a ***** for taking the things and possibly not being straight with him but it is just one side of the story. I ran into one of the guys about 5 years after the 2 year long incident. He was recently married and still bitter enough to verbally insult me, I am sure he still views it differently.

Really, guys like that need to stop. Just stop. No excuses. No "but we are made for each other" BS. Just stop. Obsession is not a redeeming quality. Telling yourself you are a nice guy doesn't make it so. Flattery only goes so far before you are into the creepy, restraining order zone.

Sure, it may be hard for you to get a date but if you think that is the way to do it you are wrong. Imagine the situation reversed. Think about some girl that you are not attracted to. Then think about her asking you out. You are embarrassed, even flattered a bit maybe, but you tell her nicely that you are not interested because.. well you are not interested. It isn't like you are obligated to give reasons and maybe specific reasons seem not nice and hey, you want to be nice about it because there is no reason to not be at that point. You have to see her in school or at work daily. She continues to pursue you. Texts you. Talks to her friends about how perfect you two are for each other. Shows up in the same places. Buys you gifts and sends cards randomly and on holidays. Hangs out in the same group of friends. If you are dating someone she is bitching about how wrong your girlfriend is for you or what a ***** she is and probably how ugly too. Your girlfriend will probably be annoyed by her advances at some point. Your friends will probably tease you about her. And this goes on for days... weeks... months. Very few days go by without you being reminded that she is there for you.

Sure, as a guy you probably don't have to worry about any physical consequences from the girl but at what point do you think it becomes strange and maybe a little frightening? Six months? A year? At what point do you question her mental stability? Since she hasn't taken a nicely worded no for an answer would you move on to not being so nice about it? Well the Facebook girl has put up with it for at least 4 years at the point of that post. Can you see that she may be a bit scared? Do you think the guy stopped after that? Do you think she should just go out with him? Do you think they are the perfect couple that the guy sees in his head?
Be honest with yourself and if you see yourself in that post, my advice is to stop, you are probably scaring someone.

While I agree with everything you said I don't think you're considering the cause and perspective of guys/gals who do this.

You're assuming she said "I'm not interested." That may be the case and if so I would agree its rather creepy. However from what he wrote, which could very well be biased, it sounds like she led him on as evident by him doing the project, her taking the tickets, and telling him yes and standing him up. That makes it very different if you have feelings for the person and they are just using you. Of course she implicitly rejected him by giving away the flowers, standing him up, and just avoiding being with him in general but that always leaves room for doubt. Feelings are typically irrational yada yada. So if that is the case I rather feel sorry for the guy.

See most guys who are not naturally gifted in courting the opposite sex will go and try to mimic a tried and true method to do so. The one most well known to most is the one were the guy "courts the girls with romantic gestures" so often depicted in literature, movies, and other media the guy has been exposed to. So they try this, and if they get anything but flat out rejection they can actually think its working on some level because "its a tried a true method". That is not an excuse to do it, but it is the reason why I think it happens so often.

That said I do agree with you that obsessive courting like that is the wrong way to start a relationship and 999/1000 leads to the opposite of what the person courting wants. That is feelings of distrust, fright, resentment, and so forth rather than those of interest and attraction. So yea, just don't do it. Leave the romantic gestures for when you are actually in a relationship.

 

[renegade7]

Well, last year a girl I had no interest in at all was flirting with me. When I found out what was going on, I talked to her about, let her down gently, and now we're really good friends.

Now, a couple years ago, there was this girl I liked. She wasn't interested though, but never let me know it. She strung me along for 3 months to get me to do her homework and do things for her, then she just unceremoniously dumped me and went public with a secret relationship she'd had with some guy the whole time.

So I agree fully, sometimes it's the guys that are jerks, sometimes it's the girls.

 

[meselfshimself]

So I agree fully, sometimes it's the guys that are jerks, sometimes it's the girls.

Surley thats a no-brainer for most people, sorry I dont even understand how there is a debate on this.

 

[Zarkov]

Although in that picture that guy comes across as a bit of a stalker, so I don't blame that girl for trying to avoid him

It's one thing to avoid; it's another to take advantage of.

 

[Beliyal]

My ex cheated on me. Acted like she was the victim, still does.

But all people are dicks, all people can be cruel.

unless she was raped I really don't see how you can even spin that.

If she was raped I wouldn't of posted this lol. She cheated, I didn't leave her, then she left me 2 weeks later. So I got fucked with twice, my fault I guess. After that I told her we can't be friends and now she cries and starts becoming depressed but doesn't want to be with me...I don't get it, I don't care anymore.

Women People >_> lol

There, fixed. I'm not trying to make her look better; if she did what you say she did, she is a very rude and horrible person. If she was a man, with the exact same personality and interests and life, she would've done the same. Vagina or penis, people can be rude and horrible, depending on their personalities, interests, motives, lives, situations, circumstances and various other factors. It would actually be very easy if horribleness was isolated to only one gender, but it isn't. The reason why men have problems with women and women have problems with men is because most people commenting here are probably heterosexual and only did get involved in such situations with the opposite gender, while your own gender is usually "your best friend bro", so he can't be a dick; girls are stupid bitches, guys are friends forever. Same with girls; guys we date are horrible dicks, and us girls, we're awesome and better. Simple-minded view, really. I'm somewhat lucky because most of my friends were always guys, but I get along nice with people in general (and avoiding relationships had much to do with not getting irritated by either men or women). Even if someone does irritate me, they irritate me because they are an irritating person, not because they are male or female.

ive said it beforeand ill say it again: women are shallow, manipulative bitches and are much worse than men, cause at least men play with their hand revealed

Whoa, whoa, there. Women can be like that, but they are not an uniformed mono-brain creature that behaves exactly the same. I've known plenty of manipulative men as well. My ex roommate for example, who, rather than facing me and our other friend about certain problems, complained to his own mother behind our backs and then his mother complained to our mothers and it turned out that everyone believed me and my friend were the horrible bitches that never buy food and eat his (just one of the many problems we had), while it was the other way around. But hey, he complained to his mother first, without ever stating the problem to us or without asking us anything. So when we tried to complain back, we looked rather silly, as if we were saying "NO, YOU". I can't believe he managed to trick us both, though. When we eventually faced him about this, he just said "Well, I'm moving out anyway". Thanks for being a dick, I suppose, complaining to your mother like you're six years old and then leaving. Why not just tell us it doesn't work and leave? And yeah, we tolerated him because we wanted to be nice (I surely wasn't going to throw a tantrum because someone drank my glass of milk, I'll buy another one), but you can't be nice with dicks (learned that the hard way).

Anyway, yes, women can be shallow, manipulative bitches, but men can be that as well. Point is, people can be shallow manipulative bitches. Assuming all men are noble knights might not end up well, because one day, one of them could screw you over. Just as girls should stop assuming that all girls are their best friends and that guys are the enemy; they'll get their back stabbed sooner or later. If you don't look at others like they're some kind of gender-based groups, you'll get along with them much better (and you'll point out dicks and bitches more easily). In the end, it all comes down to the fact that anyone can be a dick or a *****.

And why are people saying that guy Toby from the picture is a "creepy stalker"? He was trying to be nice to a girl he liked. If she didn't like him, she could've just told him so. I mean, "accepting" the dance with someone and then running away and never showing up again is very rude; she could've just said "No" to the dance offer. But hey, immature people exist. We were all immature at one point, maybe we all did something horrible like that and don't even remember, or we justify it to ourselves. Anyway, yes, girls can be horrible and guys can be horrible. It would be the best to just say that people in general can be horrible.

 

[JezebelinHell]

Snipped and quoted again for clarity below.

While I agree with everything you said I don't think you're considering the cause and perspective of guys/gals who do this.

You're assuming she said "I'm not interested." That may be the case and if so I would agree its rather creepy. However from what he wrote, which could very well be biased, it sounds like she led him on as evident by him doing the project, her taking the tickets, and telling him yes and standing him up. That makes it very different if you have feelings for the person and they are just using you. Of course she implicitly rejected him by giving away the flowers, standing him up, and just avoiding being with him in general but that always leaves room for doubt. Feelings are typically irrational yada yada. So if that is the case I rather feel sorry for the guy.

See most guys who are not naturally gifted in courting the opposite sex will go and try to mimic a tried and true method to do so. The one most well known to most is the one were the guy "courts the girls with romantic gestures" so often depicted in literature, movies, and other media the guy has been exposed to. So they try this, and if they get anything but flat out rejection they can actually think its working on some level because "its a tried a true method". That is not an excuse to do it, but it is the reason why I think it happens so often.

That said I do agree with you that obsessive courting like that is the wrong way to start a relationship and 999/1000 leads to the opposite of what the person courting wants. That is feelings of distrust, fright, resentment, and so forth rather than those of interest and attraction. So yea, just don't do it. Leave the romantic gestures for when you are actually in a relationship.

but she couldve said no instead of leading him on. truthfully, you deserve it if you dont decline him and just take advantage of him

I ASSUMED no such thing. I believe I covered her taking advantage of him in the second paragraph but I am sure you both explain it better.

I have put up with at least 2 of those guys and they are scary. She is a ***** for taking the things and possibly not being straight with him but it is just one side of the story. I ran into one of the guys about 5 years after the 2 year long incident. He was recently married and still bitter enough to verbally insult me, I am sure he still views it differently.

Also, he is fucking guilty of allowing himself to be taken advantage of. Which is why my main point of advice in this situation is JUST FUCKING STOP. I have sympathy for neither of them given the evidence above. I do have sympathy for girls that have this happen and try to be nothing but nice about it and are still being put off as bitches when the guy has an obsession.

And on another note about the Facebook cap, any girl that goes around saying all guys are assholes just wants attention so this guy has failed yet again by giving it to her.

 

[Riff Moonraker]

Ok, unless its been done, someone needs to post up the Youtube clip from Team America when the dude is in the bar... it fits so perfectly here, lol..

 

[RaikuFA]

My ex cheated on me. Acted like she was the victim, still does.

But all people are dicks, all people can be cruel.

unless she was raped I really don't see how you can even spin that.

If she was raped I wouldn't of posted this lol. She cheated, I didn't leave her, then she left me 2 weeks later. So I got fucked with twice, my fault I guess. After that I told her we can't be friends and now she cries and starts becoming depressed but doesn't want to be with me...I don't get it, I don't care anymore.

Women People >_> lol

There, fixed. I'm not trying to make her look better; if she did what you say she did, she is a very rude and horrible person. If she was a man, with the exact same personality and interests and life, she would've done the same. Vagina or penis, people can be rude and horrible, depending on their personalities, interests, motives, lives, situations, circumstances and various other factors. It would actually be very easy if horribleness was isolated to only one gender, but it isn't. The reason why men have problems with women and women have problems with men is because most people commenting here are probably heterosexual and only did get involved in such situations with the opposite gender, while your own gender is usually "your best friend bro", so he can't be a dick; girls are stupid bitches, guys are friends forever. Same with girls; guys we date are horrible dicks, and us girls, we're awesome and better. Simple-minded view, really. I'm somewhat lucky because most of my friends were always guys, but I get along nice with people in general (and avoiding relationships had much to do with not getting irritated by either men or women). Even if someone does irritate me, they irritate me because they are an irritating person, not because they are male or female.

ive said it beforeand ill say it again: women are shallow, manipulative bitches and are much worse than men, cause at least men play with their hand revealed

Whoa, whoa, there. Women can be like that, but they are not an uniformed mono-brain creature that behaves exactly the same. I've known plenty of manipulative men as well. My ex roommate for example, who, rather than facing me and our other friend about certain problems, complained to his own mother behind our backs and then his mother complained to our mothers and it turned out that everyone believed me and my friend were the horrible bitches that never buy food and eat his (just one of the many problems we had), while it was the other way around. But hey, he complained to his mother first, without ever stating the problem to us or without asking us anything. So when we tried to complain back, we looked rather silly, as if we were saying "NO, YOU". I can't believe he managed to trick us both, though. When we eventually faced him about this, he just said "Well, I'm moving out anyway". Thanks for being a dick, I suppose, complaining to your mother like you're six years old and then leaving. Why not just tell us it doesn't work and leave? And yeah, we tolerated him because we wanted to be nice (I surely wasn't going to throw a tantrum because someone drank my glass of milk, I'll buy another one), but you can't be nice with dicks (learned that the hard way).

Anyway, yes, women can be shallow, manipulative bitches, but men can be that as well. Point is, people can be shallow manipulative bitches. Assuming all men are noble knights might not end up well, because one day, one of them could screw you over. Just as girls should stop assuming that all girls are their best friends and that guys are the enemy; they'll get their back stabbed sooner or later. If you don't look at others like they're some kind of gender-based groups, you'll get along with them much better (and you'll point out dicks and bitches more easily). In the end, it all comes down to the fact that anyone can be a dick or a *****.

And why are people saying that guy Toby from the picture is a "creepy stalker"? He was trying to be nice to a girl he liked. If she didn't like him, she could've just told him so. I mean, "accepting" the dance with someone and then running away and never showing up again is very rude; she could've just said "No" to the dance offer. But hey, immature people exist. We were all immature at one point, maybe we all did something horrible like that and don't even remember, or we justify it to ourselves. Anyway, yes, girls can be horrible and guys can be horrible. It would be the best to just say that people in general can be horrible.

oh yeah, ive seen a bunch of guys who're assholes but they were being manipulated by women so it balances out. all women are manipulative, shallow... things... that really need to be taught a lesson. i dunno mayabe guys they like reject them because theyre too ugly, then when theyre crying, every guy theyve rejected will kick them down even further by telling them that they deserve it and now she feels the same way every guy they declined did

hes considered a stalker because hes considered ugly in societys eyes, all the women are judging him based on looks alone. my all women are shallow point stays in effect

 

[GraveeKing]

'Idiots are jerks' is probably closer. What people don't seem to understand is that girls are just as bad - and in some cases even worse than men, but everyone's too worried about appearing mean to really say it. I haven't had a girl mistreat me personally because I stick to men.
But yeah. I have more than enough examples of family members fucking up a lot, being selfish and jerks in general but I have privacy reasons so I won't go into it.
-approves of this thread-

 

[Zarmi]

Girls are just as bad. /thread

 

[Geeky Anomaly]

I've been drinking socially for 8 years now...and I have never been in an altercation with another man...but I've had glasses thrown at me, been called names, and have even been attacked...by women.

Ok Ive been drinking socially for 12 years now and I cant say I've experience anything like this from a woman, the rare instances I have seen woman get violent or abusive towards men in bars, is usually when they were being harrassed by some Drunk egomaniac borderline rapist who cannot accept 'No' for an answer.
Everyone snaps at some point if pushed.

So with that in mind, are you telling us that all these attacks on you were just random / unprevoked?
If yes. then kindly share with us which Town/City you live in so we never ever visit it

Yes, stay AWAY from Indianapolis, IN, USA. I don't hit on women in pubs. I go to pubs for the drinks, occasionally good music, and to hang with my friends.

I can name these off for you, since you're curious now.

One time a chick was hitting on me, but I don't go home with drunk chicks, so I declined. As I walked away, she shouted at the top of her lungs to the whole pub that I was a "******" and had a 1 inch penis.

The glass incident happened when I was in a different pub. There was this very good looking woman at one end of the bar, and men in the pub were doting on her and buying her drinks most of the night. The bar was very crowded at one point, so I had to squeeze in next to her to order my next drink. As I was about to walk away with my drink, she said, "Aren't you going to buy me a drink?" I replied, "I don't buy drinks for women." and began to walk away. She threw one of her shot glasses at me, and hit me in my lower back.

And the 3rd, again, different pub from the first 2; was out with my bros doing a "pre-bachelor party" party. I don't like my women drunk, so I started talking to this cute girl who had been drinking soda for a while. She was designated driving for a group of girls. One of the girls from the group came over, and seemed pissed about something. She started bad-mouthing me, calling me names and telling me to get lost. Her sober friend(the one I had been talking to) told her that I was cool and she liked talking to me. The drunk girl said she didn't care, and slapped me and tried to claw at my face with her nails. I later found out that the drunk girl was pissed off because I was more interested in her designated driver friend than her.

 

[Chemical Alia]

Girls and boys treated me like crap as a kid, whether they knew me or not. I had one friend who was always there for me, but was otherwise friendless throughout school. Boys and girls were equally nasty to me, but I felt that the girls meant it more and felt more socially ostracized by them. Also, I'm female.

But that's when I was in grade school, lol. In retrospect, it barely counts since kids are such little shits anyway. No one has been seriously mean to me as an adult, in college, grad school or at work. I'm surrounded by nothing but guys in my life, though.

 

[xXAsherahXx]

I think guys are more up front about being a dick. Girls tend to be sneaky about it from my experience.

This is coming from a guy.

 

[lucky_sharm]

Some of you people are being horribly judgmental calling that guy a stalker. Seriously. It's not as if he claimed to peek in her window through binoculars while collecting pieces of her hair off the ground.


Dozens of people have said this already, but both men and women are capable of being cruel and manipulative. All people can be shallow and vain. This is a fact.

 

[RaikuFA]

Some of you people are being horribly judgmental calling that guy a stalker. Seriously. It's not as if he claimed to peek in her window through binoculars while collecting pieces of her hair off the ground.


Dozens of people have said this already, but both men and women are capable of being cruel and manipulative. All people can be shallow and vain. This is a fact.

a problem that i have is, its ok for a guy to labeled that yet if a girl is told shes just as bad as guys its apparently sexist and wrong

 

[kickyourass]

Everyone's a dick at some point in their lives, even the calmest, gentelest Buddist monk on Earth has probably said something dickish at some point. Though in my experence the ways guys and girls are dicks tend to be much differnt. When a guy's being a dick it's pretty easy to spot, usually because he just drunkenly shouted something like "I wanna bang each and everyone of you!" loud enough to be heard in freaking Denmark. Girls tend to be a bit more passive agressive, more spreading rumors behind your back, then straight up insulting you to your face. That kinda thing.

 

[tomtom94]

Also, he is fucking guilty of allowing himself to be taken advantage of. Which is why my main point of advice in this situation is JUST FUCKING STOP. I have sympathy for neither of them given the evidence above. I do have sympathy for girls that have this happen and try to be nothing but nice about it and are still being put off as bitches when the guy has an obsession.

And on another note about the Facebook cap, any girl that goes around saying all guys are assholes just wants attention so this guy has failed yet again by giving it to her.

As someone whose actions could be accused of crossing the stalking line in the past, I have to tell you that it's not a conscious decision you can just switch on and off. I look back on my past and wish I could have stopped myself from keeping my hopes up for a relationship but the fact of the matter is I know that with the way I was feeling I also couldn't. In both of my cases it took a trigger (either being flat-out rejected or realising deep down that it couldn't work) to stop. I know this because I've tried consciously "getting over" girls and it's never worked. I'm very grateful that the two girls I essentially fell in love with are extremely nice people and we're now good friends, rather than the alternative.

I also need to tell you that there are women who get just as creepily obsessed over guys.

The simple fact, in my opinion, is that love is complicated, and that the very worst thing anyone can do is give out mixed signals - male or female. Not going to justify the stalkers but I will say that a lot of the time you can need genuine help if you let your feelings get the better of you - if you were looking to give up heroin, you wouldn't want someone giving you a little shot every now and again to get your hopes up. And according to my experience that's a surprisingly fitting analogy.

 

[Lug100]

Sure, assholes can be either gender but eh... that girl in the FaceBook comment doesn't sound like that much of a jerk, sounds more like "Toby" is a creepy stalker. If you ask someone out and they aren't interested, then you back off and look else-where, following them around and showering gifts onto them isn't going to suddenly make them like you.

Although in that picture that guy comes across as a bit of a stalker, so I don't blame that girl for trying to avoid him

Now if someone could just get the guys doing it to stand back and see that.

I have put up with at least 2 of those guys and they are scary. She is a ***** for taking the things and possibly not being straight with him but it is just one side of the story. I ran into one of the guys about 5 years after the 2 year long incident. He was recently married and still bitter enough to verbally insult me, I am sure he still views it differently.

Really, guys like that need to stop. Just stop. No excuses. No "but we are made for each other" BS. Just stop. Obsession is not a redeeming quality. Telling yourself you are a nice guy doesn't make it so. Flattery only goes so far before you are into the creepy, restraining order zone.

Sure, it may be hard for you to get a date but if you think that is the way to do it you are wrong. Imagine the situation reversed. Think about some girl that you are not attracted to. Then think about her asking you out. You are embarrassed, even flattered a bit maybe, but you tell her nicely that you are not interested because.. well you are not interested. It isn't like you are obligated to give reasons and maybe specific reasons seem not nice and hey, you want to be nice about it because there is no reason to not be at that point. You have to see her in school or at work daily. She continues to pursue you. Texts you. Talks to her friends about how perfect you two are for each other. Shows up in the same places. Buys you gifts and sends cards randomly and on holidays. Hangs out in the same group of friends. If you are dating someone she is bitching about how wrong your girlfriend is for you or what a ***** she is and probably how ugly too. Your girlfriend will probably be annoyed by her advances at some point. Your friends will probably tease you about her. And this goes on for days... weeks... months. Very few days go by without you being reminded that she is there for you.

Sure, as a guy you probably don't have to worry about any physical consequences from the girl but at what point do you think it becomes strange and maybe a little frightening? Six months? A year? At what point do you question her mental stability? Since she hasn't taken a nicely worded no for an answer would you move on to not being so nice about it? Well the Facebook girl has put up with it for at least 4 years at the point of that post. Can you see that she may be a bit scared? Do you think the guy stopped after that? Do you think she should just go out with him? Do you think they are the perfect couple that the guy sees in his head?
Be honest with yourself and if you see yourself in that post, my advice is to stop, you are probably scaring someone.

While I agree with everything you said I don't think you're considering the cause and perspective of guys/gals who do this.

You're assuming she said "I'm not interested." That may be the case and if so I would agree its rather creepy. However from what he wrote, which could very well be biased, it sounds like she led him on as evident by him doing the project, her taking the tickets, and telling him yes and standing him up. That makes it very different if you have feelings for the person and they are just using you. Of course she implicitly rejected him by giving away the flowers, standing him up, and just avoiding being with him in general but that always leaves room for doubt. Feelings are typically irrational yada yada. So if that is the case I rather feel sorry for the guy.

See most guys who are not naturally gifted in courting the opposite sex will go and try to mimic a tried and true method to do so. The one most well known to most is the one were the guy "courts the girls with romantic gestures" so often depicted in literature, movies, and other media the guy has been exposed to. So they try this, and if they get anything but flat out rejection they can actually think its working on some level because "its a tried a true method". That is not an excuse to do it, but it is the reason why I think it happens so often.

That said I do agree with you that obsessive courting like that is the wrong way to start a relationship and 999/1000 leads to the opposite of what the person courting wants. That is feelings of distrust, fright, resentment, and so forth rather than those of interest and attraction. So yea, just don't do it. Leave the romantic gestures for when you are actually in a relationship.

I have to say, does anyone else find it ironinc that girls (in general, not all off them *covers self from backlash* seem to be completely obsessed with the stuff described in movies etc, and always talk about how they want to be like the girl/woman in said movie/book etc, yet if a guy actually trys it in real life, its instantly classed as creepy?... Seriously make your mind up >.>