Happiness... hap-piness... hap...penis... vaaaaaGINA!

[Emperor Inferno]

In case you didn't get it, that's a quote from the T.V. show, King of The Hill. It's the episode where Peggy has trouble preparing to teach a sex-ed class in Bobby's school.

Anyways, this thread is about hilarious lines in popular T.V. shows. Got any favorite funny T.V. lines? I'd like to hear them, let's have a laugh.

 

[orangebandguy]

"And if you don't increase communications quality four-fold, by 2005 I'll fucking kill you."

Said by the east end thug in The Armando Ianucci shows, at a technology conference.

 

[geldonyetich]

You can't be truly miserable without being miser able.

Okay, that wasn't a TV line, I just wanted to get that one out and public before I forgot it.

 

[JanatUrlich]

I have nothing to contribute, but that is the best thread name ever

 

[ae86gamer]

The only ones that I could think of right now are from the American version of The Office.

Michael Scott: This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple years ago.

Jim Halpert: [imitating Dwight] Bears eat beets. Bears... Beets... Battlestar Galactica.

 

[Aunel]

anything in Metalocalypse

"slap my sunburnt back"
*SLAP!*
OOOW!, alright, let's play some blues!

 

[CloudKiller]

From "Only Fool's and Horses"

Rodney: Trigger what are you doing here?
Trigger: Well Dave, Del Boy said he'd give me a lift down the pub.
Rodney: Oh I suppose that's... Hold on, you live closer to the pub then we do?
Trigger: Yeah I know, but Del Boy said he'd give me a lift down the pub.
Rodney: But Trigger, you've had walk past the pub to get to our flat!
Trigger: I know, but Del Boy said he'd give me a lift down the pub.

 

[tijuanatim]

Salesman: Well Griffins, you can either choose the Boat, or instead choose the Mystery Box!
Lois: Don't be silly, we'll take the b
Peter: Now hold on Lois, a boat's a boat, but the mystery box could be anything! It could even be a boat! You know how long we've wanted one of those! We'll take the box.

 

[Armored Prayer]

From Scrubs.

Dr. Cox and Kelso (sp?) talking to Dr. Beardface about his nickname

Dr. Cox: You know if you just shave that beard off people will stop calling you doctor beard face. Course then everyone will start calling you doctor face.

Kelso: Ha! Doctor face!

 

[Aura Guardian]

South park
Mr Garrison to Kyle's jewish cousin:
Look if you don't start concentrating I'm removing you from the class (or something like that)

Cartmen:
Maybe we should send him to concentration camp!

The classic.

 

[Emperor Inferno]

from House

Foreman: "I think you're wrong"

House: "I think your tie's ugly."

 

[TimeLord]

My favorite TV show line is from Scrubs.

Dr. Cox and Kelso (sp?) talking to Dr. Beardface about his nickname

Dr. Cox: You know if you just shave that beard off people will stop calling you doctor beard face. Course then everyone will start calling you doctor face.

Kelso: Ha! Doctor face!

Best line from Scrubs ever!

 

[Xan Krieger]

"Eat the wizard eat the slut! Eat the robot's shiney butt."
Futurama, Bender's Game.

Also whenever I'm in trouble I just use Bender's line "We're boned".

 

[Gottsmik]

Agh, too many to choose from.

(Peter has to come up with a fake name on the spot, so he looks around the room to get inspiration)
Peter Griffin: Uh... my name is...(he sees a pea)
Peter Griffin: Pea...
(he sees a woman crying)
Peter Griffin: ... tear...
(he sees a Griffin fly by)
Peter Griffin: ... Griffin. Peter Griffin

 

[Nemu]

Hard to choose just one, so I went with an Aqua Teen quote:
(Meatwad is lamenting the loss of gaming tickets from an arcade)

Meatwad: How am I ever gonna win that ten speed?
Master Shake: How are you ever gonna ride a ten speed with no frickin' legs?! You're just gonna bust the ass that you don't even have! Who bothered to spawn you...and why?!

 

[Emperor Inferno]

"Suck my balls, Mrs. Garrison!"

"Can you help me find the clitoris?"

"I am Jennifer Lopez, and I like tacos and burritos!"

 

[teisjm]

"It's energy... FOR MEN... MENERGY"

"You'll have soo many babies 400 BABIES

From here

Spoiler: awesome youtube video hidden here

 

[Terramax]

In case you didn't get it, that's a quote from the T.V. show, King of The Hill. It's the episode where Peggy has trouble preparing to teach a sex-ed class in Bobby's school.

That's the very first episode of King of the Hill if I remember correctly. I remember seeing its debute all those years ago. Quite shocking to see a mainstream cartoon be so... mature.

My fav is from South Park also in the episode 'Margerine'. Butters has to dress up as a girl and go to a girls-only slumber party.

*Before party*

Cartman: OK Butters, and if the girls start lesboing out-- go with the flow dude.

*later at the party*

Girl: Lets play Light as a feather, straight as a board.

*Girls all round up*

Butters: Oh, geez, are we all gonna start lesing out?