Has anyone completely destroyed your trust?

[UnendingLight]

Too many past experiences and just being used for some goal has taught me to never trust anyone fully.

I have friends that I can trust to talk to about things, but I never tell someone anything I wouldn't want the world to know.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Basically, what I'm asking is: Have you felt like this? Did you do anything about it? Any words for someone who's feeling it?

Yeah, I've felt like that.

My words to you is to try to let go of past bitterness. Because the longer you hold on to it, the more you increase the risk of your suspicions towards this new girl to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I.e the more suspicious you are towards her and let that influence your behaviour, the more it will drive a wedge between you and most likely make her care less and less about betraying you since you're acting like a dick towards her for something she didn't even do (but some other girl did).

I'd also point out that you have to consider the rammifications of betrayal. I mean is the world going to end if your girlfriend betrays you, cheats on you or whatever? It will probably hurt, yes, but then what? It's not like it's gonna kill you is it?

And if the record showed that you gave the wrong person complete trust, what does that say about YOU and THAT PERSON? Sure, initially you might feel stupid for trusting someone who betrayed you, but stupidity is only proven by rash and immature decisions. A girlfriend or respective other is someone you're pretty much SUPPOSED to be able to trust, and if you don't then the relationship will have a definite expiration date.

So deciding to trust a lover isn't really about being a stupid/rash/immature decision at all, it's admitting the risk of being betrayed but deciding to risk it anyway because you genuinely believe the person you trust that much to be good enough to deserve that trust.

And if that trust turns out to have been misplaced, then it will say a lot more about the person who abused that trust, than it would ever say about you who were willing to risk being betrayed.

 

[babinro]

I trust everyone until I have a personal reason not to. So far, I've never been let down.

I should note that when it comes to relationships I'm of the mindset that "once a cheater, always a cheater" as it seems to be quite rare for someone to limit their indiscretions to just 1 lifetime. If someone cheats, they are not the kind of person I want to be involved with in a relationship or friendship.

 

[German Lynx]

I would never trust someone that was willing to kill me, and given the right circumstances anyone is capable of pointing a gun at me and pulling the trigger. That answer your question?

 

[BabyRaptor]

Trust? Trust is a joke.

Sadly, it's also something you can't live without, at least if you plan to have any sort of people contact.

It's a Catch-22.

 

[O maestre]

my brother in law took advantage of the implicit trust i had for him, after knowing him as charismatic friend, a good father and a great husband for my sister.

he used these pre conceptions to steal money from me, my brother and my father, as well as almost fuck up my chance to get enrol into my current university.

i despise him, and the only excuse my sister could come up with is that he is mentally ill.... the very memory of that lying piece of shit makes my fists tremble.

yes i have had my trust completely destroyed by someone i regarded as a friend and family, someone who succeeded in tearing my family apart

 

[Brutal Peanut]

A few people have ruined my trust in them, but that didn't completely destroy it for everyone else. My sister and my Husband, my Aunt-in-Law, and a few friends still have my trust - until they ruin it, of course.

 

[Sacman]

I have no trust to destroy...<.<

 

[automatron]

A teacher at my school did, and a so called 'friend'
Long story short, the 'friend' stole my notes I had for a test so I had nothing
Other than that, not completely destroyed my trust, just mostly.
I find it difficult to trust people now

 

[Suicidejim]

This thread is curiously comforting for me. Not long ago, my girlfriend cheated on me at university (after just a few days of being gone). I decided the other day to give her one more chance, but I'm still not sure how much I trust her. Still, knowing that other people have been betrayed too, and been through the same, if not worse, situation, is a comforting feeling. I just hope I never have to reply to a thread like this again.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Never trust anyone, even yourself.

That's my life policy, worked great so far.

But how can you be sure, maybe you're just lying to yourself

OT: Ya I get overly mistrustful around break-ups, but after the anger passes I add up what I learned about people and act accordingly in the future... or so I like to think.

 

[blaqknoise]

No, I can't say anyone has ever completely destroyed my trust.

 

[Chasing-The-Light]

My last girlfriend completely destroyed my trust. I didn't want to date her at first because I knew that after two years I would be leaving college and would be away from her and I knew that anyone who wanted to date me, it would be very hard. But she told me that we would make it work. She told me for a year that she loved me and would do anything to make things work.

Then a few weeks ago she told me that for a while, she had realized that she didn't really love me, and that she couldn't do all this with me anymore. I'd become dependent on her and trusted her with everything and let my guard down completely around her. And then she threw it back in my face.

After that break up, I've begun to think that I'm just not meant to be with anyone. As though I'm too ambitious for anyone to be able to follow along with me. I don't know, really.

 

[Saxm13]

"Expect the best of your friends, never the worst as a good friend will always have your best interests at heart." - MLP

=)

OT: I'm generally parnaoid of everyone i know, but I'm always loyal to a fault. I would never trade my friends for anything.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

one away and don't let people get too close to me. I just call it destroying my trust.

You Scottish, perchance?

Actually no. Just the person I tend to talk to the most happens to be Scottish and I pick up accents, dialects, and spelling rather quickly. I'm actually American and hopefully will be moving to the UK soon enough. All depends on how quickly I can get a work visa and job over there.[/quote]

Touché. Good luck in the UK, make sure you get yourself a piece 'n' sausage, mebbe a fish supper (Glasgae slang, dunno if you've heard that from your friend).

 

[Phoenix_XIII]

My ex-girlfriend. It's why we're not going out anymore. She wants me back, but I'm not taking her back until she can regain my trust. IF she can regain my trust.

 

[Saltyk]

Well, I don't trust this one "friend" of mine anymore. And he knows it. I let him live with me because he had nowhere else to go. Long story short, I saw very little money from him, and even when he got a job a few months back, he eventually just stopped paying me. He completely disrespected my house and me. I came home from a family event, that I didn't really wanna go to, only to find about 5 people in various states of drunk in my house. And no one told me. I was angry to say the least. Then, there were various times he got drunk and tried to fight people, got in my face (at a bar for no good reason), and just generally did shitty things when he was drunk. The last straw was when we went to a concert in Florida (a good 7 hour drive). He got drunk, and when another friend asked him to slow down and stop before we leave, he got belligerent. He got in both of our faces, yelling and screaming, threatened to punch us, and generally acted like an ass. When he said that he was gonna leave, call a friend and catch a plane back home, I called his bluff.

Also, I learned he was telling my mom a bunch of garbage. A lot of it was based on truth like how I didn't go out with him a lot. But completely left out how he would spring these things on me kinda last minute, on work days. Let's not forget that I was paying all the freaking bills. Yeah, I don't really have the money to blow on booze, girls, and clubs. Yeah, there's no trust there. Oh, and he got a job with me a while back. I hope he does enough stupid shit to get fired before they bring him on as an official employee (currently a temp).

There was this one girl who I was friends with...she was super nice, but a compulsive liar. She made things up about her ex and my at-the-time best friend, but me and her shared tons of friends and he was in another building that year so I couldn't prove anything, so I never bothered to get away from her. Biiig mistake. Once, me and another friend were talking about lolicon,and so, that day after lunch, the girl went to my mother (a teacher) and told her I wanted to rape a little girl. The sheer hatred I carried for her after that was enormous. I forgave her, at first, for some reason, but after thinking it over I decided to just get back to hating the *****.

Damn, that is fucked up. Yeah, that's all I can say.

 

[Cap'n Ninja]

I've never really been good with the whole "trust" thing in general, but I don't think I've ever been able to trust anyone properly after I got told I was adopted. When you get told that the people you've thought were your own flesh and blood for ten years are actually just a bunch of people who chose you out of a line-up of infants is a bit jarring.
They are my family, and I love them to bits, but I just can't look at them quite like that any more.

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

I also have trust issues, but I honestly think it's because you really can't trust many people in this world. I've been betrayed by friends, girls and relatives, so yeah... I'm really not the right one to ask for advice.. I do know that a few people deserves my trust though.

 

[Smurf McSmurfington]

Yes, once. Didn't like it.
Won't happen again, though, easier to just not trust people and then occasionally be pleasantly surprised that people aren't small-minded shitfucks, than to put my trust into people and then not be surprised when it turns out they're only human, which is to say not worthy of anyones absolute trust.