I have a buddy that couldn't plan his way out of a paper bag. However he has been a good friend for a number of years so I given him friendship tenure.
Has anyone completely destroyed your trust?
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Sort of. There was this girl I dated, that didn't so much break my trust, but completely disregarded my privacy. We'd broken up about a year before this happened, but I was eating lunch with her and a few other people (that I didn't know that well), and somehow she started spouting off things we had done intimately right in front of everybody. Things I'm not too proud of. I was completely embarrassed, and all I could think was "Why...why would you do that?"
Over time, I began to realize more and more there was nothing left of the nice, geeky, fun girl I had dated the year before. She'd taken up drugs, and just became a very negative person (she complained about literally everything).
I don't like her. I don't trust her. I never want to see her again.
Over time, I began to realize more and more there was nothing left of the nice, geeky, fun girl I had dated the year before. She'd taken up drugs, and just became a very negative person (she complained about literally everything).
I don't like her. I don't trust her. I never want to see her again.
Why? Because the people I talk to the most are Scottish and I pick it up really well.Mandalore_15 said:
I use to trust more, the most recent burned me earlier this year. So, tried coming out of said shell, got burned hard by someone I thought was one of my best mates. Long story short, ruined part of my reputation(further than the girls in high school did) and took the word of some guy she had just met who initially she didnae like over mine over whether or not something had actually happened(which did but he denied it or said that it was my fault)and said guy USE to be my running partner which sadly I need to find a new running partner that I can trust enough to know where I keep my inhaler and to keep me from pushing myself into an asthma attack(which is why I don't trust myself to run alone).
I hope one day you find someone you can trust enough to date who won't betray you.FrostyChick said:
Touché. Good luck in the UK, make sure you get yourself a piece 'n' sausage, mebbe a fish supper (Glasgae slang, dunno if you've heard that from your friend).[/quote]Amethyst Wind said:
Not yet, no. But I shall ask him in a few hours when he and I both wake up again presuming I can get back to sleep. And thanks.
Ouch. Me and my current girl have known each other for six years. I trust her enough that she won'd let me down. I just end up questioning things and worrying like an arse when everything's alright.questionnairebot said:
Well, I haven't had anyone completely ruin my trust. It's hard to when you're a trusting person by nature, but it did make me a little more wary about the motives of people.
I was in a relationship with a girl who was smart, funny, and overall seemed to be one of the most caring people I'd met. Skip ahead 6 months and I find out she had cheated (partially, not sex, just making out with a friend of hers, which is pretty bad in itself) on me. I accepted that she made a mistake after she seemed genuinely sorry about the entire thing.
Moving ahead to Valentines day. We spent the day together and whatnot, but had to part after dinner. The next day, after struggling to get hold of her, she tells me that on Valentines day after she left, she had gone and made out / what have you, with another one of her friends again (the same one as before). At this point I was pissed off and told her where she could go.
And here's where I become an idiot. I accept her back a second time, thinking things would be different. This was after about 2 weeks of constant apologies and arguing. And now we skip slightly further ahead to a few days before she graduated, where I was told that she was in one of the bathrooms at the high school fooling around with another guy.
Honestly, it pisses me off that I accept people so easily. It could be due to the fact that I think it's crucial to place a lot of trust in your partner, but it was pretty heart-breaking to be screwed around multiple times by someone you love.
The excuse that I got was: "I call it getting bored and finding entertainment."
I suppose I'm boring.
Edit: Keep in mind I'm not bitter about most of this anymore. We're both young and everyone's different. I am fiercely loyal, and she was looking for excitement, but also stability. I can't really be immensely exciting with full-time college classes and a job on top of that, so I can see where she was coming from.
I was in a relationship with a girl who was smart, funny, and overall seemed to be one of the most caring people I'd met. Skip ahead 6 months and I find out she had cheated (partially, not sex, just making out with a friend of hers, which is pretty bad in itself) on me. I accepted that she made a mistake after she seemed genuinely sorry about the entire thing.
Moving ahead to Valentines day. We spent the day together and whatnot, but had to part after dinner. The next day, after struggling to get hold of her, she tells me that on Valentines day after she left, she had gone and made out / what have you, with another one of her friends again (the same one as before). At this point I was pissed off and told her where she could go.
And here's where I become an idiot. I accept her back a second time, thinking things would be different. This was after about 2 weeks of constant apologies and arguing. And now we skip slightly further ahead to a few days before she graduated, where I was told that she was in one of the bathrooms at the high school fooling around with another guy.
Honestly, it pisses me off that I accept people so easily. It could be due to the fact that I think it's crucial to place a lot of trust in your partner, but it was pretty heart-breaking to be screwed around multiple times by someone you love.
The excuse that I got was: "I call it getting bored and finding entertainment."
I suppose I'm boring.
Edit: Keep in mind I'm not bitter about most of this anymore. We're both young and everyone's different. I am fiercely loyal, and she was looking for excitement, but also stability. I can't really be immensely exciting with full-time college classes and a job on top of that, so I can see where she was coming from.
Colour me intrigued... Did you look at my profile and do math, perchance?questionnairebot said:
Yeah. I trust her. The thing about my ex is... My ex keeps popping up everywhere (as in, texting late at nights, generally harassing me through friends, and pulling shit like that.) She hasn't tagged my house yet. But just give it time.
The fact that she won't piss off is what's making it hard for me to get past all the scars she left me. I've told her "F*** off, Thanks to you, I'll never be the man I once was." and she can't take the damn hint. Coming to the point where I haven't slept in about a week. Haha.
Borrowed a really close friend since eight years some money for Christmas last year and I guess he didn't want to pay back, since he completely broke contact with me without any reasons why.
Also had quite a lot of affairs with girls who had boyfriends. All of them went on about how awful their relationship was and that they were going to break up bla bla bla. I eventually got a bit tired of being the reserve dick, so I broke up with them.
In all cases they've broken up with their boyfriend pretty quickly afterwards and found a new guy.
Foreveralone!
Haven't developed trust issues due to this, but I won't be borrowing money to friends anymore.
Also had quite a lot of affairs with girls who had boyfriends. All of them went on about how awful their relationship was and that they were going to break up bla bla bla. I eventually got a bit tired of being the reserve dick, so I broke up with them.
In all cases they've broken up with their boyfriend pretty quickly afterwards and found a new guy.
Foreveralone!
Haven't developed trust issues due to this, but I won't be borrowing money to friends anymore.
Well, yes and no, I have been severly betrayed, but she didn't destroy my trust, we're still good friends. I mean, there's not many I actually do trust completely to begin with, so if someone does anything, there's not really a genuine trust to be betrayed.
Yeah, I can completely relate. I won't go into it, but it took a long time and a good friend to pull me out of that resulting funk. Though she later ended up stabbing me in the back, I've since gotten over that and we are good friends again, but I still keep an eye on her to prevent any possible...complications. My advice, though it may not mean much:
Take a good look at who it was that hurt you, take a look at yourself and see what you were like at the time. (not saying it was your fault, I'm meaning just to look at how you've matured and how you'd deal with the situations back then) There is nothing wrong with having a little worry, but it's unhealthy to always have those kinda thoughts on your mind. I also think you should think about who your girlfriend is, how she acts, what kinda crowd she hangs out with. That should help narrow down your re-occuring worries.
Again, not sure if that will help you because no two situations in the world will nessicarily be solved by the same meathod of approach.
Take a good look at who it was that hurt you, take a look at yourself and see what you were like at the time. (not saying it was your fault, I'm meaning just to look at how you've matured and how you'd deal with the situations back then) There is nothing wrong with having a little worry, but it's unhealthy to always have those kinda thoughts on your mind. I also think you should think about who your girlfriend is, how she acts, what kinda crowd she hangs out with. That should help narrow down your re-occuring worries.
Again, not sure if that will help you because no two situations in the world will nessicarily be solved by the same meathod of approach.
Meh. I have had my trust broken a number of times. I learned quickly and got stronger for it. I'm generally a very friendly guy, but I pick and choose carefully who I let close to me and it has worked out quite well. Have some truly awesome friends in my life, so I'm lucky -- and smart.
Same here. I just don't understand why people do it? Whats so hard about talking to your partner about whatever. Save some hurt feelings, and may end up preventing a giant mess. Sadly, the idea of a peaceful social world is just as likely (if not less) as a world without need for a millitary... I sounded more like a "Miss Beauty Pagent" then I thought I would have...Suicidejim said:
I used to be always on the defense because I was scared of people hurting me and always expecting they would but I stopped, and it's soo much better. People are going to screw up and disapoint you from time to time, it happens, doesn't mean you should let that cloud over all the good things about them. That said I do not trust my boss, like at all. Woman's a total snake.
I had a crush on this girl in high school for well over a year, but I was always too shy to really engage her on one on one conversations. She also had a bf of a long time, and I had just gotten a new gf, that ended up being a bad decision lol. Anyways, me and her finally start talking and I get her number. She found out that I liked her pretty easily, but she said she didn't want to do a relationship and instead ending up going out with my current best friend. I was ok with because she didn't lead me on, and was forthcoming with it, while my friend was not. He was trying to get me to talk to the girl for a while. Well after two weeks they broke up twice (me putting them back together once), and at the second time my friend told me that he didn't really like the relationship and was kinda unhappy. So I told him that I liked her and he said that I should go straight for her and treat her better than he could. (Worth mentioning that he has awful emotional problems, to the point where it's extremely over-dramatic).
The dude, well, he was my best friend. Completely, he knew me inside and out, and I knew him...not as well as I had assumed. I met him on the front porch of a mutual friend's house because I had a fight with the a girl that had broken my heart in the middle of my friend's bedrooom. I tried to talk to her because I was still extremely smitten with her but she just brushed me off and acting like she was the victim when I was going through stuff I didn't even know how to. (I guess she was too) Well I went on to the porch and just started crying because I didn't know what else to do. The dude had been there all day and hadn't spoken one word to anyone, so I was actually kinda intimidated by him because he was 6"3', while I was around 5"5'. As I was crying he came out sat down beside me and started talking to me. He acted as if I was his friend, like I knew him. The genuine feel of sympathy from his was something I wasn't used to as I never liked my parents. The fact he took time out of his day to help ease the suffering of someone else that he didn't even know kinda blew me away. He stayed out there for an hour talking to me, what he said I don't remember, I assume didn't have much importance, I just wanted words from someone else. Eventually the girl came out there because of him and me and her talked, she continued to treat me terribly, but what he did for me was astounding. From the second I met him I almost understood we'd be close. 2 years later he has seen me go through rough **** from the girl and another one. He always had my side and was always defending me, even when I didn't do it myself. Even though this created problems, I could tell that he considered me of utmost importance. Me and him were close. We were drinking buddies, smoking buddies, music buddies and just buddies in general. If one of us did something, odds are, the other one was there. He treated me like he did his other brothers, if not better in many cases. Me and him were a lot alike. Hell, me and him were brothers. He, almost, single-handedly got me through some of the hardest depression I've ever felt in my short time here. Three heartbreaks, multiple setbacks because of bills that I couldn't pay and other stuff. This dude always had my back, and I always had his. I've never had a better best friend.
Well I eventually ask her out. I was extremely happy with her, me and her were alike tons of ways, to the point where we were almost exactly alike. The only difference is she was more prone to acting like a stereotypical emo girl, while I was just an introverted emo and didn't prefer to do the "normal" emo things like cutting etc. Me and her hung out twice, and the entire time we cuddled, made out, listened to music and just talked. Once on Valentine's Day, where I helped my dad make dinner for her, and two days after. After I got done visiting her the 2nd time, I come home and get on FB really quick before going to sleep and my best friend messages me and says he's in love with her, even though they only went out for two weeks, and he hardly called her. Well, 1 hour later, she's on the phone with me crying her eyes out and continuously apologizing for hurting me because she had to break up with me for him.
I was crushed. Not just because I felt I was losing another girl I felt had a chance for a long term relationship, but because my friend would do that to me, when he told me many times he wouldn't take her back if she tried to come back to her; but instead he went and got her. The next day I tried to convince her into not dumping me and she was overrun with emotions and lack of sleep that she ended up blaming me for the whole thing because she almost at tears and couldn't stand what she had done. (Also worth mentioning that the girl considered me like a best friend at this point because she said that I was one of the few people she felt close to.) I ended up crying in the library, because I was a library assistant my senior year, and I hate crying in public. I had to cover my face in the hoodie she gave back and be completely silent. I heard people passing me saying how I got the right idea about sleeping on the couch. Turns out the girl that was an assistant with me knew I was crying and eventually became a good friend of mine while I was going through that. Too bad she had a boyfriend lol.
So, even though this happened 6 months ago. I still talk, and trust the girl that did this. I almost can't blame her. She's a really naive 15(now 16) year old girl. I know she didn't mean to harm me like she did, and has done a lot to make up for it. The dude, on the other hand acted like I was the biggest mother ****er in the world and constantly slandered me on FB because I wanted the girl back and played some dirty games to try and get her back, because he didn't treat her all that well for like 4 months of the relationship. He also kept playing the victim card, and turning the girl against me, and kept droning on about how I didn't know how bad it hurt him. Thing is, he didn't understand that I didn't care, because it was his fault and his choice. He had complete control of his actions from the first time I told him I liked her. He even guilt tripped me into the entire situation because he said he was gonna run away to Minnesota and said later on that I encouraged him to find his "Whatshername", which of course happened to be my gf, when in reality I was trying to cheer me up, and I cried when he told me he was running away. He even blamed me for the entire thing saying I should've let him go.
At this point, me, the girl, and the dude are all chill. No more fighting the encompassed the last 4 months of senior year. The girl is probably one, if not, my best friend at this point, aside from my obvious guy friends. The dude, is not, on the other hand. We smoked, we drank, we lost and we gained together, and he threw it away. I don't trust him at all, not even the slightest. I hardly tell him what's going on with my life anymore, and I loathe the idea of having to hang out alone with him anymore. Where it used to be I liked him more than my other guy friends. I honestly wish things could go back, but even with the knowledge, I don't think I would trust him because I know what his capacity is for friends.
He's made me question how I view my current best friends, to the point where I'm afraid of the title for people in my life, and if they give me the title in their life. It makes me worry about if I can live up to it, and makes me worry if other people can live up to what I would need or expect from them. It would probably take a person as strong as an influence in my life as he was to change how I see things. I am at least thankful for the experience at a younger age than when **** like money, property and actual love can get tangled up. I'm also thankful that the event hasn't made me a cynical, destitute, misanthropic individual like the guy started acting like because he chose to break up with the girl. I've mostly moved on from what has happened back then, at least as far as continuously thinking about it and feeling constant pain. I've been on my own two feet for the last 2 months really and even them acting like it's ok to even slightly discuss their intimate details around me hasn't brought me down too much. I'm glad I'm able to get from this because losing this guy hurt so much. If you made it to the end of this I guess good job for you, thanks for reading. I guess the only thing to take away from this is never play the game with ex girlfriends of friends, ever. No matter what they say, they will almost always get jealous.(and watch out for emo girls. lol)
EDIT: Sorry for the story of my life. I've just been wanting to get this off my chest so badly.
The dude, well, he was my best friend. Completely, he knew me inside and out, and I knew him...not as well as I had assumed. I met him on the front porch of a mutual friend's house because I had a fight with the a girl that had broken my heart in the middle of my friend's bedrooom. I tried to talk to her because I was still extremely smitten with her but she just brushed me off and acting like she was the victim when I was going through stuff I didn't even know how to. (I guess she was too) Well I went on to the porch and just started crying because I didn't know what else to do. The dude had been there all day and hadn't spoken one word to anyone, so I was actually kinda intimidated by him because he was 6"3', while I was around 5"5'. As I was crying he came out sat down beside me and started talking to me. He acted as if I was his friend, like I knew him. The genuine feel of sympathy from his was something I wasn't used to as I never liked my parents. The fact he took time out of his day to help ease the suffering of someone else that he didn't even know kinda blew me away. He stayed out there for an hour talking to me, what he said I don't remember, I assume didn't have much importance, I just wanted words from someone else. Eventually the girl came out there because of him and me and her talked, she continued to treat me terribly, but what he did for me was astounding. From the second I met him I almost understood we'd be close. 2 years later he has seen me go through rough **** from the girl and another one. He always had my side and was always defending me, even when I didn't do it myself. Even though this created problems, I could tell that he considered me of utmost importance. Me and him were close. We were drinking buddies, smoking buddies, music buddies and just buddies in general. If one of us did something, odds are, the other one was there. He treated me like he did his other brothers, if not better in many cases. Me and him were a lot alike. Hell, me and him were brothers. He, almost, single-handedly got me through some of the hardest depression I've ever felt in my short time here. Three heartbreaks, multiple setbacks because of bills that I couldn't pay and other stuff. This dude always had my back, and I always had his. I've never had a better best friend.
Well I eventually ask her out. I was extremely happy with her, me and her were alike tons of ways, to the point where we were almost exactly alike. The only difference is she was more prone to acting like a stereotypical emo girl, while I was just an introverted emo and didn't prefer to do the "normal" emo things like cutting etc. Me and her hung out twice, and the entire time we cuddled, made out, listened to music and just talked. Once on Valentine's Day, where I helped my dad make dinner for her, and two days after. After I got done visiting her the 2nd time, I come home and get on FB really quick before going to sleep and my best friend messages me and says he's in love with her, even though they only went out for two weeks, and he hardly called her. Well, 1 hour later, she's on the phone with me crying her eyes out and continuously apologizing for hurting me because she had to break up with me for him.
I was crushed. Not just because I felt I was losing another girl I felt had a chance for a long term relationship, but because my friend would do that to me, when he told me many times he wouldn't take her back if she tried to come back to her; but instead he went and got her. The next day I tried to convince her into not dumping me and she was overrun with emotions and lack of sleep that she ended up blaming me for the whole thing because she almost at tears and couldn't stand what she had done. (Also worth mentioning that the girl considered me like a best friend at this point because she said that I was one of the few people she felt close to.) I ended up crying in the library, because I was a library assistant my senior year, and I hate crying in public. I had to cover my face in the hoodie she gave back and be completely silent. I heard people passing me saying how I got the right idea about sleeping on the couch. Turns out the girl that was an assistant with me knew I was crying and eventually became a good friend of mine while I was going through that. Too bad she had a boyfriend lol.
So, even though this happened 6 months ago. I still talk, and trust the girl that did this. I almost can't blame her. She's a really naive 15(now 16) year old girl. I know she didn't mean to harm me like she did, and has done a lot to make up for it. The dude, on the other hand acted like I was the biggest mother ****er in the world and constantly slandered me on FB because I wanted the girl back and played some dirty games to try and get her back, because he didn't treat her all that well for like 4 months of the relationship. He also kept playing the victim card, and turning the girl against me, and kept droning on about how I didn't know how bad it hurt him. Thing is, he didn't understand that I didn't care, because it was his fault and his choice. He had complete control of his actions from the first time I told him I liked her. He even guilt tripped me into the entire situation because he said he was gonna run away to Minnesota and said later on that I encouraged him to find his "Whatshername", which of course happened to be my gf, when in reality I was trying to cheer me up, and I cried when he told me he was running away. He even blamed me for the entire thing saying I should've let him go.
At this point, me, the girl, and the dude are all chill. No more fighting the encompassed the last 4 months of senior year. The girl is probably one, if not, my best friend at this point, aside from my obvious guy friends. The dude, is not, on the other hand. We smoked, we drank, we lost and we gained together, and he threw it away. I don't trust him at all, not even the slightest. I hardly tell him what's going on with my life anymore, and I loathe the idea of having to hang out alone with him anymore. Where it used to be I liked him more than my other guy friends. I honestly wish things could go back, but even with the knowledge, I don't think I would trust him because I know what his capacity is for friends.
He's made me question how I view my current best friends, to the point where I'm afraid of the title for people in my life, and if they give me the title in their life. It makes me worry about if I can live up to it, and makes me worry if other people can live up to what I would need or expect from them. It would probably take a person as strong as an influence in my life as he was to change how I see things. I am at least thankful for the experience at a younger age than when **** like money, property and actual love can get tangled up. I'm also thankful that the event hasn't made me a cynical, destitute, misanthropic individual like the guy started acting like because he chose to break up with the girl. I've mostly moved on from what has happened back then, at least as far as continuously thinking about it and feeling constant pain. I've been on my own two feet for the last 2 months really and even them acting like it's ok to even slightly discuss their intimate details around me hasn't brought me down too much. I'm glad I'm able to get from this because losing this guy hurt so much. If you made it to the end of this I guess good job for you, thanks for reading. I guess the only thing to take away from this is never play the game with ex girlfriends of friends, ever. No matter what they say, they will almost always get jealous.(and watch out for emo girls. lol)
EDIT: Sorry for the story of my life. I've just been wanting to get this off my chest so badly.
I've never really had my trust broken too much.
If theres one aspect of socialising I'm good at, it's seeing through people who aren't what they appear, I noticed it in highschool, people acted, used and backstabbed left right and center, and what was blatantly obvious to me wasn't really detected by others...
Regardless, I only place absolute trust in one person whom I've known since early primary school
If theres one aspect of socialising I'm good at, it's seeing through people who aren't what they appear, I noticed it in highschool, people acted, used and backstabbed left right and center, and what was blatantly obvious to me wasn't really detected by others...
Regardless, I only place absolute trust in one person whom I've known since early primary school