Have you ever considered suicide?

[chocolatekake]

Hellllll no. I wouldn't be able to do it. Suicide = not easy.

Good luck with controlling your depression, feels bad man. One day at a time.

Ok, glad we got that cleared up! XD

And hey, same to you. Hope your meds are working out for you (they didn't for me o_o ).

 

[KefkaCultist]

Yep...a lot, but I would never do it because I chicken out of everything which is actually what brings on a lot of my bad thoughts.

 

[0p3rati0n]

I have never thought about committing suicide and will probably never will. I do know people who have and have also attempted it. It's a very sad thing to hear. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

[Gildan Bladeborn]

You're the most sensitive insensitive person I've seen. Most just say that stuff. But you're kind of right when you say that depressed people aren't right in the brain. It can be chemical, or they just might not have the mental coping skills that you were lucky enough to have been born with. I understand why you can't comprehend such thoughts because your brain works completely different then someone with depression. Not trying to rag on you, just maybe explain a little bit?

I suppose it's the difference between an academic understanding of a concept and actual hands-on experience - I consider myself insensitive primarily because I can't actually relate, not because I can't identify various emotional states that others are experiencing. I'm the sort of individual who never understood "peer pressure" because I can't recall ever experiencing it, and my sense of self-worth has never much been tied to the opinions of others; it makes me rather hard to truly insult for one, but also leaves me a tad bit baffled when people take insults to heart (instead of just getting mad at whoever insulted you).

I'm quite emotional though in certain contexts - I can make myself cry simply by thinking of certain concepts for instance - and I comport myself as a quiet, unassuming and generally pleasant fellow throughout the lions share of my societal interactions, so recognizing and responding appropriately to emotional cues is a crucial part of that. My real personality is almost nothing like what most people end up seeing, but for all my caustic and mercurial tendencies I don't have it in me to be cruel; hence why the few people who get me to engage on a deep enough level that the topic of emotional frames of mind come up would probably tell you that I am sensitive.

I know I'm not of course, but I also don't believe that being wired to be an insensitive jackass who doesn't give a crap about the opinions or feelings of others therefore gives me the excuse to behave like one. And so I choose to comport myself in a manner quite dissimilar from my natural tendencies - not because I care about how my conduct will be perceived, but because I care about my conduct itself, regardless of who might be watching; I make an effort because I believe it's the right thing to do.

Hopefully that little glimpse into my psyche was helpful, because I'm not sure what else I can really say about the topic - it's just something I can't comprehend on a personal level, and since my worldview suggests that one can choose to find joy in even the most miserable of situations, I tend to ascribe the sort of crippling depression that leads to suicidal impulses as a personal failing that people ultimately need to "snap out of" (I would never actually tell someone that though).

 

[Nyerion]

I suppose it's the difference between an academic understanding of a concept and actual hands-on experience - I consider myself insensitive primarily because I can't actually relate, not because I can't identify various emotional states that others are experiencing. I'm the sort of individual who never understood "peer pressure" because I can't recall ever experiencing it, and my sense of self-worth has never much been tied to the opinions of others; it makes me rather hard to truly insult for one, but also leaves me a tad bit baffled when people take insults to heart (instead of just getting made at whoever insulted you).

I'm quite emotional though in certain contexts - I can make myself cry simply by thinking of certain concepts for instance - and I comport myself as a quiet, unassuming and generally pleasant fellow throughout the lions share of my societal interactions, so recognizing and responding appropriately to emotional cues is a crucial part of that. My real personality is almost nothing like what most people end up seeing, but for all my caustic and mercurial tendencies I don't have it in me to be cruel; hence why the few people who get me to engage on a deep enough level that the topic of emotional frames of mind come up would probably tell you that I am sensitive.

I know I'm not of course, but I also don't believe that being wired to be an insensitive jackass who doesn't give a crap about the opinions or feelings of others therefore gives me the excuse to behave like one. And so I choose to comport myself in a manner quite dissimilar from my natural tendencies - not because I care about how my conduct will be perceived, but because I care about my conduct itself, regardless of who might be watching; I make an effort because I believe it's the right thing to do.

Hopefully that little glimpse into my psyche was helpful, because I'm not sure what else I can really say about the topic - it's just something I can't comprehend on a personal level, and since my worldview suggests that one can choose to find joy in even the most miserable of situations, I tend to ascribe the sort of crippling depression that leads to suicidal impulses as a personal failing that people ultimately need to "snap out of" (I would never actually tell someone that though).

I wouldn't call that insensitive but a lack of empathy. No offence, but you describe yourself in a kind of sociopathic way.
Saying that depression is a personal failing (I've actually heard this a lot)is a little too strong. Depression is influenced by several factors, many of them are genetic and cannot be changed. That doesn't mean that some people are meant to be depressed only that they will find it harder to fight agains it, but with a little help everything is possible.

I think about suicide some times but I now that in the end I'd be way too scared to do it so I have never consider it seariosly. Also I'm not sure that I could do that to my family :\

 

[Bad Marmoset]

I've recently been diagnosed with cynical depression,

I am assuming you mean clinical depression, if so, you have my condolences. But, I had to laugh because my depression has also made me somewhat cynical.

......Someone posted earlier that they'd understand someone terminally ill and in pain wanting to suicide, but not someone depressed. That person clearly doesn't understand that when you're really, truly depressed (not just temporarily a bit miserable) it HURTS. There's a well of despair in my heart, and it makes my chest physically painful when I'm at my worst......

I agree with pretty much all you said but had to highlight the above comment. People don't tend to get this. I have various psychlogical problems but I also have an ongoing physical injury that I take painkillers for an a daily basis. It ranges between discomfort at it's best and 'holy fucking hell' bang-your-head-against-a-wall flashes of agony at it's worst. Physical pain I have learned to cope with, I avoid, as much as I can, doing things that aggravate my condition and I medicate with reasonable success. It is also logically easy to understand, a part of my body was damaged and didn't heal properly therefore I am in pain. It has no other impact than that. Mental pain is all-pervasive and affects every aspect of my life. I have had no success with medication for it. What's more I don't really understand it fully. I used to think I was a rational person but half of the time my deeper feelings are not even close to rational or realistic most especially with how I think about myself. Not sure where I am going with this but I felt it needed saying er.. whatever it was that I just said.

Also, I too have things to do before I bugger off.

I know I'm not of course, but I also don't believe that being wired to be an insensitive jackass who doesn't give a crap about the opinions or feelings of others therefore gives me the excuse to behave like one. And so I choose to comport myself in a manner quite dissimilar from my natural tendencies - not because I care about how my conduct will be perceived, but because I care about my conduct itself, regardless of who might be watching; I make an effort because I believe it's the right thing to do.

Excellent, you sir are an example to all 'insensitive jackasses' everywhere. We also seem to share many personality traits which is interesting, I, however, am obviously quite mad.

 

[Astoria]

The thought has popped into my head a few times but hasn't done so for over a year now. I just tried to find one thing or one person to keep living for and focused on that until the thoughts went away.

 

[Bernzz]

Nope. Never. I've never been driven to dark thoughts such as that...and judging by the amount of responses here saying otherwise, I consider myself lucky.

 

[Aetera]

Diagnosed with severe bipolar depression, here. I hit the worst low of my life at the end of the last spring semester at college, and almost killed myself. I had the blade, I'd practiced with it to make sure I could cut deep enough on my first attempt(turns out I could), and was about to go through with it when my friend stopped me. I'm on medical leave now and my meds have been increased. Again. Fun.

 

[reaperman22]

just think to yourself "if i kill myself i wont be able to play portal 2"

 

[Crazy_Dude]

just think to yourself "if i kill myself i wont be able to play portal 2"

But the cake was a lie!

 

[Ultress]

I'll think about it sometime and tried it twice but my fear of the what the afterlife is what usually stops me. I have no real advice for anyone thinking about it because you probably have your reasons and it's not my place to lecture you when I don't know you.

 

[reaperman22]

just think to yourself "if i kill myself i wont be able to play portal 2"

But the cake was a lie!

oh yeah... man when i found that out.... those were some dark times... oh god you got me thinking about it again... that cube was too young to die

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

I thought about it... then i realized i'm too much of a coward who, despite a miserable existance, loves being alive too much.

 

[tzimize]

Yes. Most weeks.

My teenage years were eaten up contemplating this.

In the end I decided that I can die at any time I choose, but I have only so many years to live.
Dying is certain, living is not. I decided I'd live as long as I felt I wanted to, and kill myself when I got tired of it all.

I still live by that decision. Some weeks are harder than others, but in the end living is usually a better choice because there are a lot of fun to be had in this world.

For someone contemplating suicide I would tell them exactly my thoughts. You can die any day you wish, and sooner or later you WILL die, and most likely remain dead forever. Living however can be done only so many years, why not live a while longer and see what happens? Whats the worst thing that can happen?

 

[Olorune]

I've recently been diagnosed with cynical depression,

I am assuming you mean clinical depression, if so, you have my condolences. But, I had to laugh because my depression has also made me somewhat cynical.

I had to laugh, too. I didn't realize that I had put "cynical". But, yeah, I'm a kind of cynical person.

 

[FUAU]

I've thought about from time to time, but not because I was particularly unhappy or dissatisfied. I thought, from an atheistic and philosophical standpoint, that once suicide has been committed it can't really be considered a negative thing per se, at least not for the one who committed it. I figure that, in death we lose our capacity to care about such things. That our perception of positive and negative dies with us.

For instance, If I committed suicide, I certainly wouldn't care that I was dead, I couldn't. Sure my family and friends would still be there to mourn me, but wouldn't be around to feel guilty about it. Even if I were one who unabashedly loved my life and everything about it, I simply could not regret it post facto.

It wouldn't be a good or bad thing from the perceptive of the one who's dead. That person would simply not exist. Simple as that.