Headlines you would like to see on the Escapist

[captaincabbage]

Either of these:

"Scientists crack faster than light travel with miraculous near indestructible metal."

or

"Scientists create holodeck that runs of carbon emissions."

 

[automatron]

Magic real
People are capable of magic, just didn't know

 

[Grickit]

LucasArts announced SWBF3 at E3; Steals show!

And then inside the article, a note about how battlefront 3 will include 40 new maps and every old one from the franchise making it the shooter with the largest official map list in history.

Then a few weeks later:

Activision announces end of CoD franchise - After SWBF3, what's the point?

Then after that:

Next Battlefield game to be a SWBF3 mod says EA

And then:

Massive XBL decline after millions sell consoles for PS3 exclusive SWBF3 DLC.

And then:

Escapist is closing so we can all play more SWBF3



Yes. It's all according to plan?

 

[Angry Camel]

Everyone at FOX news gets kicked in the face by Batman.

New chocolate discovered that is perfectly healthy for you.

MTV's Jersey shore cancelled.

Playing a SIMS game now punishable by death.

 

[Implying I'm A Troll]

"The Game Heroes have all been murdered"

"Russ Potts was raped to death and all moderators will have their actions made public"

 

[SomethingUnrelated]

Hippo Eats Dwarf

Story as told by Karl Pilkington? That was definitely one of my favourite XFM moments.

 

[ImanOcean]

"Fox News reports story, accurately and and free from bias."

We can only dream........

 

[GrizzlerBorno]

Scientists successfully invent Magic.

The commercial version of the Animus, by Abstergo industries goes on Sale.

Cargo shuttle containing Element Zero Crashes over Southeast Asia. Children between 10-18 "affected".

....I live IN Southeast Asia right now, in case you're thick.....

 

[Nightvalien]

The zelda series will now have continuity.

 

[edens_shadow]

Fallout: New Australia to be released in 2012

 

[Xanthious]

"Bobby Kotick and Mark Pincus Ravaged by Pack of Dickwolves"

 

[thenumberthirteen]

"SyFy executives kicked in balls, renews Stargate Universe for seasons 3 through 5"

 

[azurine]

April 23rd 2014 "inter dimensional travel test successful!"

April 24th 2014 "dimension where thoughts and desires become reality has been found! travel is free of charge!"

 

[TheEnigmaticTwinky]

"Aperture Science releases Handheld Portal Device to the Consumer Market"
"Judo Cage Match to the Death Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates"
"CoD is Sold to EA for $2.50"
"Jesus Communicates with World, Says that Gay People are 'S'awight'"
"Harold Camping Dubbed 'blasphemer', Burned at Stake"