Help: Get Parents to Accept the Fact that I am a Gamer/Otaku

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Aug 25, 2009
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You can't. I accepted this fact aged about 12 when my parents were unable to understand my love of the Tomb Raider games, but it's been compounded, perhaps best when my dad laughed at a scene of WIllow breaking down and crying because Oz was leaving. (Bastard)

Just accept that you have your hobbies, they have theirs, and the two will not intertwine. I think my dad's love of gardening is hopelessly quaint, and my mother's 'Women's magazine' collection is at least as ridiculous as my comic-book collection. My parents and I are good-natured enough to be able to mock each other without it being serious, but another solution might be to live and let live.

Eventually you learn that just because they're your parents, they're still people, and often your parents wouldn't be the sort of people that you would ever socialise with were you given the option.
 

twistedheat15

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sounds like they already know your a nerd, which is why they're laughing, as apposed to buying you hookers, forcing you to go outside and play sports.
 

Romidude

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It'll be hard or next to impossible for them to accept the Otaku part, I know this being a furry, even amongst the few people in real life it's still a little hard. If they don't accept the gamer part eventually, don't let them watch Fox News and get them to watch something intelligent.
 

mega48man

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i can convince your parents that you're a gamer, but not an animetard.

gamer's represent, it's for life bra, hardcore or leisure it's all good. i've met tons of friends by being a gamer, thus making it a good thing.

anime on the other hand, not so much.
listen, i used to love anime to, freshman year (and through middle school) but i got picked on a lot because of it. eventually, i moved to a new school (within the same district) and there i grew out of my phase. i went back to the other school (where everyone else was going) and came back a completely different person. i picked up gaming a lot more seriously, and now i have ASS tons of friends (a whole lot more than i used to...3.....now i have at least 50 (maybe 80))

so try it, drop anime (at least in public). don't go SQUELlING whenever you hear something you like, don't go shouting dumb quotes by japanese writers, and PLEASE don't go to school wearing anything out-of-the-norm, IT WILL RUIN YOU.

instead, just go watch anime WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH YOUR HW. but that its, make it leisure time, not obsessive time. i.e.; i watch dexter and doctor who on free time, and chat with freinds when they're available.

so go, run free, talk to kids about the new medal of honor, tell them about that hilarious richochet grenade kill in reach, but yell at them about what happened in the last episode of naruto.
 

Legion IV

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LadyRhian said:
Commander Breetai said:
"Otaku?"

How about you save yourself time and tattoo "I am a weaboo; please shun me" on your forehead?
Legion IV said:
ThatOtakuGuy said:
I, like many of the lovely visitors of this site, am an avid fan of gaming/anime/zombies/sci-fi/everything else that is commonly associated with what people perceive as being "nerdy" (No one likes the N-Word).

About 20 minutes ago, I was watching Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo. For those not in the know, Gankutsuou is the sci-fi adaptation of a 17th century French story of romance, revenge, phillosophy, justice, repentance, etc etc etc.

While in the middle of watching an action scene, my dad came up to the TV. I could see that he was struggling not to laugh, so I called him out on it. Denying it at first, he broke down and admitted that the show reminded him of a cartoon I had watched as a child called Liberty's Kids, about two teenagers witnessing the events of the American Revolution.

You may ask, "What do these two things have anything to do with each other?" The answer for my dad was, "They're both animated". I've bought several anime dvds, many maaaaannnnyyyy manga, and have a bleach and death note poster up in my room (Put up on the wall over my door so that no one will see it unless they are looking for it, my parent's condition for puting it up).

My question to the Escapisters (Escapees, Escapiters, etc ad infinitum) is this: How can I get my parents to accept the fact that I'm a "nerd" (here used to describe their point of view, as I hate that word with every fiber of my being) and stop making fun of my chosen mediums of entertainment (games, anime, etc)?
Oh also i forget to mention. Are you aware that otaku is actually an insult in japan? lol. Like no joke Nobody in japan would want to be called an otaku. I met a guy who came to my city from japan great guy name was Andy. When i brought up do you like anime are you an otaku? Jokingly cause by that time we are great friends. He said no he isint and that in japan the word otaku is actually used as an insult. They dont want to be called that. Being an otaku is actually worse then being a trekkie here apparently.

the term "otaku" is actually an insult in japanese and means "freak" not "anime freak".
::Sigh.:: Are people still on about that Otaku murderer guy? The word "Otaku" is still being used in Japan. Their former Prime Minister, Taro Aso, calls himself an Otaku. And there are many kinds of Otaku in Japan. Railfans, Military Geeks, the ones who collect dolls and figures..

What gave the word a bad rep was a serial killer called the Otaku murderer- back in 1989, this guy went around committing bizarre murders, and killed four little girls between the ages of four and seven. He became known as the Otaku murderer because a picture of his porn collection included Anime (which may have been added by a photographer seeking to sensationalize his collection). There was a backlash against people who were anime Otaku for a while, and some of the bad feeling occasionally persists, but it's not an insult in Japan the way it was, and there are lots of Otaku who don't see such a label as negative. On the other hand, there is a word that is much worse than "Otaku" in Japan. It's Hikikomori and means "those who withdraw", basically the type of people who stay at home and withdraw from the world. It's worse to be called a Hikikomori than an Otaku in Japan, and the Hikikomori also have a connection to crime.

In Japan, Otaku have been categorized as "A little strange, but good for the economy" since they spend lots of money on their obsessions.

TL;DR- Otaku isn't seen as being such an insult in Japanese society any more.
Alright hey hey i guess i was misinformed. I get this from my friend who use to live in Japan. He just said most people arnt a fan of being called it. He said it was more of an insult. I did not even intent to reerance that case but ya am aware of it. Just saying what my friend tells me. He also tells me theres a place where all the best aracde fighters go, a place with every fighting game cabinet, the most recent games, the most legendery players. Big Box i think he said the name was, sounds like heaven to me...
 

Berethond

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Why do you care what they think?

Also I don't think "Otaku" means what you think it means.
 

The Madman

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I hate to be 'that guy' (Alright, not really!) but I probably would laugh too. My little sister is into that sort of Japanese cartoons as well, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't burst out laughing at some of the stuff she watches. Pretty sure she had an obsession with that Death Note show for awhile as well, and frankly if she ever put up a poster of it in her room she'd never hear the end of my ruthless mocking!

For reference, there's a huge age gap between us. Ten years in fact! She's a little younger than you though not by much if you're 15.

And yes, there have been attempts to 'convert' me like so many people in this topic are suggesting, but I'm sorry, it just doesn't work. Bluntly put the more serious an anime is the more I tend to mock it... I just can't help it, I find the whole thing ridiculous. And yes, I've tried to like anime. Even watched this one series and genuinely ended up liking it! But for the most part I can't help but find it silly.

Moral of the story? Not everyone has the same tastes. Your parents are persecuting you no more than I persecute my little sister. I think its laughable and often ridiculous, but hell, I don't expect everyone to love the same sorts of stuff I do and know there are people who feel the exact same way about some of my stuff as I do about anime. That's just life!

Now when they start tearing down those posters and calling the local priests for an exorcism... then you've got a problem. Till then, well... that's just part of life. Better you learn to deal with it now than later!
 

Aureli

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Mar 8, 2010
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Otaku, you are not alone on the "parent's who just don't get it" front. It's unfortunate, but some people just aren't going to accept your hobbies no matter how politely or rationally you try to explain it to them.

Unfortunately for me, my mom is one of those people. I've been playing videogames since I was six, and started watching anime and reading manga when I started high school. My mom took the standard "Oh, she'll grow out of it once she goes to college." But I didn't. I'm 21 now, and about 6 months ago, I joined our local amtgard (read: LARP) group. She now constantly advises me to quit doing something so childish, since I'm not going there to look for a boyfriend (I have one already, she just doesn't know). But since I'm an adult, she can't make me quit. My dad thoroughly supports all of my hobbies, luckily.

So really, just ignore your parent's stupid quips about how lame or childish your hobbies are, since aside from locking you in a closet, there's really nothing they can do about it at this point. They refuse to understand, and that's on them. Not to mention they're missing out on a good chance to actually talk with you, since most parents and children stop communicating around the teen years.
 

Kejui

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Oct 22, 2010
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I sat my father down once and made him watch some GITS: SAC, which I love. However, he became very and truly bored. After that, he never really made any snide remarks or laughed whilst I watched anime.

Point? The world many perceive as "adult" is boring, so show them your anime can be "adult." hahaha
 

warrcry13

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Aidinthel said:
ThatOtakuGuy said:
Thanks. They actually mentioned that gaming was a "teenage thing" When I told them that at least 5 out of the 40 kids in my grade were gamer girls (small grade due to private school), and that the average gamer's age was around 30, they said, I shit you not, "Its said that so many people just stare at a screen and don't interact with anybody".
Ouch, that sucks. I am suddenly grateful for my parents. (Direct quote of my mom: "I like nerds.") In retrospect, they made a considerable effort to understand me.

At least you have the Escapist to vent to. *chanting of "One of us! One of us!" in the background*

My mom started my gaming life, and my aunt reads warhammer, and plays games both over the age of 50 now.
 

Estoki

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warrcry13 said:
Aidinthel said:
ThatOtakuGuy said:
Thanks. They actually mentioned that gaming was a "teenage thing" When I told them that at least 5 out of the 40 kids in my grade were gamer girls (small grade due to private school), and that the average gamer's age was around 30, they said, I shit you not, "Its said that so many people just stare at a screen and don't interact with anybody".
Ouch, that sucks. I am suddenly grateful for my parents. (Direct quote of my mom: "I like nerds.") In retrospect, they made a considerable effort to understand me.

At least you have the Escapist to vent to. *chanting of "One of us! One of us!" in the background*

My mom started my gaming life, and my aunt reads warhammer, and plays games both over the age of 50 now.
I think it's safe to say that you have the coolest aunt ever.
 

Basiritz

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Oct 26, 2009
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Consider yourself lucky. My Dad came to my place for a visit while I was watching gunslinger girl. Now he seems to think I have a "Thing" for little girls....
 

Disaster Button

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Feb 18, 2009
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warrcry13 said:
Aidinthel said:
ThatOtakuGuy said:
Thanks. They actually mentioned that gaming was a "teenage thing" When I told them that at least 5 out of the 40 kids in my grade were gamer girls (small grade due to private school), and that the average gamer's age was around 30, they said, I shit you not, "Its said that so many people just stare at a screen and don't interact with anybody".
Ouch, that sucks. I am suddenly grateful for my parents. (Direct quote of my mom: "I like nerds.") In retrospect, they made a considerable effort to understand me.

At least you have the Escapist to vent to. *chanting of "One of us! One of us!" in the background*

My mom started my gaming life, and my aunt reads warhammer, and plays games both over the age of 50 now.
I LOVE your Aunt.

OT: If they aren't going to be open to at least watching one episode then its probably going to be harder for them to "accept" you. But honestly, they don't sound that bad at the moment, from what you've said they just sound worried which is likely due to not understand what Anime is. Although the comments about you never getting a girl to like you unless you stop doing what you enjoy sounds a bit harsh.
 

MomoHime64

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Jul 4, 2010
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Next time say, very calmly, "I guess if you have time to make fun of my hobby, you have time to sit down and share in my interests."
 

Gigano

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Oct 15, 2009
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ThatOtakuGuy said:
...

My question to the Escapisters (Escapees, Escapiters, etc ad infinitum) is this: How can I get my parents to accept the fact that I'm a "nerd" (here used to describe their point of view, as I hate that word with every fiber of my being) and stop making fun of my chosen mediums of entertainment (games, anime, etc)?
Try sitting down with them and watch a Studio Ghibli film. They're some of the most artistically "respectable" with all audiences animé has to offer. I'd recommend Grave of the Fireflies [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grave_of_the_Fireflies] (the only one whose themes I really appreciate, though make no mistake they're all high quality works), see if your dad can laugh that one off, or remember anything like that from his childhood.

Not that there's really much of an actual problem here - everyone everywhere has always felt misunderstood by their parents in some regards - but broadening their cultural horizon could never hurt.
 

Jaxs

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Jul 19, 2010
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ThatOtakuGuy said:
I, like many of the lovely visitors of this site, am an avid fan of gaming/anime/zombies/sci-fi/everything else that is commonly associated with what people perceive as being "nerdy" (No one likes the N-Word).

About 20 minutes ago, I was watching Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo. For those not in the know, Gankutsuou is the sci-fi adaptation of a 17th century French story of romance, revenge, phillosophy, justice, repentance, etc etc etc.

While in the middle of watching an action scene, my dad came up to the TV. I could see that he was struggling not to laugh, so I called him out on it. Denying it at first, he broke down and admitted that the show reminded him of a cartoon I had watched as a child called Liberty's Kids, about two teenagers witnessing the events of the American Revolution.

You may ask, "What do these two things have anything to do with each other?" The answer for my dad was, "They're both animated". I've bought several anime dvds, many maaaaannnnyyyy manga, and have a bleach and death note poster up in my room (Put up on the wall over my door so that no one will see it unless they are looking for it, my parent's condition for puting it up).

My question to the Escapisters (Escapees, Escapiters, etc ad infinitum) is this: How can I get my parents to accept the fact that I'm a "nerd" (here used to describe their point of view, as I hate that word with every fiber of my being) and stop making fun of my chosen mediums of entertainment (games, anime, etc)?
I don't see any problem, my Mom pokes at the fact that I watch a lot of anime and play a lot of games and I poke fun at the fact that she likes the show Bones even though the the main character is a fucking retard.
 

camazotz

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Jul 23, 2009
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Hmmm it took me close to 20 years (after leaving the house) before my folks accepted that it wasn't a phase and that I was a gamer/SF nut. They'll figure it out....one day....far in the future....
 

postblitz

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May 5, 2009
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to the OP: your parents sound allright dude, its you that needs to be cool because it can be a lot worse.
you'd laugh at what they've been passionate about too so don't hold a grudge on that.

you could just do like Sean "Day9" Plott and explain to them every day how interesting you've found X and how passionate you are about some particularities of your hobby.. you will not convince them about manga being worthy.. but your passion will be appreciated and they'll know its something important to you. rest doesn't matter really.

good luck