Help (Involves Bro Code)

[Flamezdudes]

My friend recently broke up with his girlfriend about a month ago, (I didn't like her during this period) and from what he said during that time it seemed that he really loved her. I'm not sure how long to wait or to go ahead and do.. something. He recently has also started flirting with another girl so he might be over her. I dunno. Help?

 

[Ildecia]

wait for approval from him.

 

[Flamezdudes]

wait for approval from him.

So i should ask him about this first?

 

[the_pleasure_is_mine]

wait for approval from him.

So i should ask him about this first?

Yes you should ask him first definitely.

 

[Flamezdudes]

Tell him you like her first. If you just go ahead and do something with her first, it's going to seem much more like a massive stab in the back then it would be if you were to just say 'I like your ex-girlfriend.' He'll still be hurt, but the pain will be much less extreme.

Also, it's been a month? I think thats far and beyond the gestation period of accepting a break up, although I'm not exactly one to talk.

Oh, i forgot to say that he's already flirting with another girl recently.

 

[Legion]

Ask her out when he seems to have moved on. The "bro code" is bullshit.

Oh, i forgot to say that he's already flirting with another girl recently.

In which case, ask her out whenever you want to.

 

[Solytus]

Bro Code Article 150: No sex with your Bro's ex.

Exception: Unless the ex is really hot
- The Bro Code

In all seriousness though, dating your friend's ex is more often than not an ill-advised course of action, but if you're truly intent on going through with it, then I would definetly consult your friend first.

 

[KEM10]

Yes, ask him. He may not like it but he will at least appreciate it with no hard feelings.

Also, it is important to note who did the breaking up. If he did and not out of some "lesson" to teach her, fair game.

 

[Woodsey]

I'll refer you to askmen.com 's Man Code: http://uk.askmen.com/microsites/manmonth/week_five/top-10-man-codes.html

See NUMBER ONE on the list.

 

[IHaveNoCoolness]

Never under an circumstances date a girl that is a bro's ex, unless you plan on losing the bro forever.

End of discussion. There is no right way to proceed. You either proceed and are in the wrong, or you don't proceed. There's no length of time, and there is no asking him for his permission. He is obliged to say that it's okay, even if it isn't, so you're basically fucking him twice then. Once by taking the girl, and twice by making him say he's okay with it.

 

[jthm]

My friend recently broke up with his girlfriend about a month ago, (I didn't like her during this period) and from what he said during that time it seemed that he really loved her. I'm not sure how long to wait or to go ahead and do.. something. He recently has also started flirting with another girl so he might be over her. I dunno. Help?

Bro code is a pretty clear no go on this one.

 

[Jesus Phish]

My friend recently broke up with his girlfriend about a month ago, (I didn't like her during this period) and from what he said during that time it seemed that he really loved her. I'm not sure how long to wait or to go ahead and do.. something. He recently has also started flirting with another girl so he might be over her. I dunno. Help?

Quoted you only so you'll get a message about it.

First hand experience here, I did this. A year ago I started going out with a friends ex a month after they broke up. I never asked his permission or anything, didn't think I needed it. Me and him don't talk anymore starting immediatly from that point on. That's his choice/reaction to it, and I understand.

I'm still with the girl and we're very happy together. Some of our friends have told us they don't agree with what happened, but they're not bitter/resentful towards us.

I'd say think about how long you see yourself liking this girl. If it's a hit it and quit it job, then just don't do it. If you do like her, tell him, as if you don't his reaction will probably be the same as my old friends. The bro code is bullshit though, and if you really like that girl, you don't need anyones permission to ask her out.

Have you thought about how she'd feel too though? What if you ask her and she thinks it'd be too wierd?

 

[IHaveNoCoolness]

Tell him you like her first. If you just go ahead and do something with her first, it's going to seem much more like a massive stab in the back then it would be if you were to just say 'I like your ex-girlfriend.' He'll still be hurt, but the pain will be much less extreme.

Also, it's been a month? I think thats far and beyond the gestation period of accepting a break up, although I'm not exactly one to talk.

Oh, i forgot to say that he's already flirting with another girl recently.

Doesn't matter what he's doing or what she's doing. What matters is what you do. And if you're a true friend, you do not, under any circumstances, ever and I mean EVER date a bro's ex.

The bro code is explicitly clear in this instance. You DO NOT date her. Not now, not later, not ever. And you never talk to him or her about it.

 

[Loop Stricken]

I'd say think about how long you see yourself liking this girl. If it's a hit it and quit it job, then just don't do it. If you do like her, tell him, as if you don't his reaction will probably be the same as my old friends. The bro code is bullshit though, and if you really like that girl, you don't need anyones permission to ask her out.

Pretty much this, but that's no Bro Code, it's just not being a twat.

Edit: Seriously, this 'Bro Code' thing is far too American for my tastes.

 

[Flamezdudes]

My friend recently broke up with his girlfriend about a month ago, (I didn't like her during this period) and from what he said during that time it seemed that he really loved her. I'm not sure how long to wait or to go ahead and do.. something. He recently has also started flirting with another girl so he might be over her. I dunno. Help?

Quoted you only so you'll get a message about it.

First hand experience here, I did this. A year ago I started going out with a friends ex a month after they broke up. I never asked his permission or anything, didn't think I needed it. Me and him don't talk anymore starting immediatly from that point on. That's his choice/reaction to it, and I understand.

I'm still with the girl and we're very happy together. Some of our friends have told us they don't agree with what happened, but they're not bitter/resentful towards us.

I'd say think about how long you see yourself liking this girl. If it's a hit it and quit it job, then just don't do it. If you do like her, tell him, as if you don't his reaction will probably be the same as my old friends. The bro code is bullshit though, and if you really like that girl, you don't need anyones permission to ask her out.

Have you thought about how she'd feel too though? What if you ask her and she thinks it'd be too wierd?

Good point with the last bit, plus this is a good friend of mine. I dunno if i wanna risk it, i was thinking of waiting 1 month and then asking him.

 

[Dr. wonderful]

No dating the Ex....EVER.

There's a reason why people get hurt behind this.

 

[Eisenfaust]

never go for it/wait until he says it's fine THEN get him drunk to make sure he wasn't lying through his teeth because he wanted to make you happy, but then spends the rest of his life resenting both you and your new wife...

ALTERNATIVELY, do what i did and bone her specifically to upset him, but then i'm a bastard that way...

 

[HSIAMetalKing]

idk bro, your friend doesn't get to fucking "tag" a ***** and think like she's his property forever after the relationship is done; I say move in on that.

 

[antidonkey]

The Bro code is retarded and only brought out by selfish pricks who aren't really over their ex's. If they both seem to have moved on, don't "ask" him if it's ok to see her. Tell him you're going to ask her out and since they used to be a thing, it's the polite thing to do. It'll also help you determine if he is actually over her yet.