Help (Involves Bro Code)

[sigma83]

The 'bro code', or other supposed codes of ethics that men are supposed to subscribe to?

Utter bullshit.

'Never under an circumstances date a girl that is a bro's ex, unless you plan on losing the bro forever.

End of discussion. There is no right way to proceed. You either proceed and are in the wrong, or you don't proceed. There's no length of time, and there is no asking him for his permission. He is obliged to say that it's okay, even if it isn't, so you're basically fucking him twice then. Once by taking the girl, and twice by making him say he's okay with it.'

And bullshit like this is why.

Whatever happened to, I don't know, honesty? Openness between people who are supposed to be friends? Not adhering to some hypermacho bullshit list because it's the thing to do.

Friends are supposed to be exactly that, your friends. You have these things called conversations. Not sound bites that are meant to sound cool. 'Yo man, I'd tap that ass,' while trendy, is no way to conduct an actual relationship.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Bro Code Article 150: No sex with your Bro's ex.

Exception: Unless the ex is really hot
- The Bro Code

In all seriousness though, dating your friend's ex is more often than not an ill-advised course of action, but if you're truly intent on going through with it, then I would definetly consult your friend first.

When did this get added to the code? Because as far as I know, that's an important part of the female equivalent to the Bro code, but not actually a part of the Bro-Code at all. I can see holding back if the dude is really your best friend, and you know he'd be hurt by it. Otherwise, he doesn't own this girl, and he's going to have to face the fact that she's going to move on eventually.

Edit: Then again, in my experience I'm usually closer to the girl in question than I am to any guy, even before I ask her out. On the rare occasion that I do have a male friend as close as or closer than the girl, this situation almost never pops up.

 

[Frequen-Z]

Do it. You gotta look out for number 1. Chances are he'd do the same if he were in your shoes. Not to say he's a bad guy or anything, but that's just how people are. Do what feels good for you, and no-one else. You're the most important variable here.

 

[firemark]

Check with your bro first and then give it at least a week or two if he says yes for him to change his mind and then double check. Other than that I don't have a problem with it, as long as you ask him first. It's about respect.

 

[Soxafloppin]

Wait til he is on to someone new, he doesn't really have the rite to complain then!

 

[Gabanuka]

Ask him, if he says yes get in there.

 

[DSK-]

Ask your friend. Personally I don't think it's worth the possibility of losing a friend, so I would definitely mention I was interested, because I may not know the circumstances surrounding their split (temporary split or what have you).

 

[Kpt._Rob]

Well, I personally have never been one for "bro codes" or anything else of that sort. I'm the type of person who just tries to judge what the best option in any given situation may be. That said, dating a friend's ex (while it could go off without a hitch) is generally a recipe for disaster.

It might be more helpful to look at it by asking yourself:

Would I rather...

A) Date this girl at the very real risk of losing my friend.

or

B) Make sure I still have a solid friendship with my friend.

The choice is up to you.

 

[Marowit]

wait for him to talk smack about her, and then join in cautiously.

don't just open the flood gates though, cause then he'll know you've been holding back.

 

[WorkerMurphey]

How long did he date her? If it's less than a year just go for it.

 

[Insanum]

Seeing as BonsaiK hasnt got here first, Let me tell you this:

Ignore the Bro Code

Its something stupid put in place by Jocks that dont get any. "Bros before ho's" goes out of the window the moment one of them gets a girl.

Now this time, You have to be careful. Speak to your mate, You dont need his permission[/I] per se, But you may want to seek some form of approval, Just as you dont want to alienate your friend.

Also bear in mind she may only be flirting with you to get back at him.

 

[El Poncho]

Tell him you like her and see what he says.

 

[p3t3r]

it would depend on the way they broke up if it were mutual agreement or he broke it off it would seem fine. but if it was her or it was ugly you might not want to. either way i would say you should ask first.

 

[armaina]

Uh... ask him? Seriously, talk about it with him because what would be even worse would be if you just went ahead and started dating her without talking to him behind is back. Because then, if he found out it would seem even more like a betrayal than if you had just asked him.

 

[ThreeKneeNick]

Just tell him you like her and try not to overthink codes thought up by people who are not you or your friend.

 

[Trent283]

I"m sorry dude but the bro code is very strict about this. Bro code articly 150. NO sex with a bros ex

 

[Sejs Cube]

Once it's clear he's moved on you're in the clear.

 

[Cowabungaa]

He's free, she's free, there isn't a single problem here. Hell he's already flirting with another. Go for it champ.