Here we go again! Don't even bother reading this..

[L33tsauce_Marty]

Honestly people, i don't tyr that hard to get people to like me, becuase as i stated, I HATE EVERYONE. i just like how socially awkward i appear to people becuase they are all idiots.

I share the same sort of outlook as you do. I have a feeling we are around the same age so this is my advice to you:

There is a reason you call yourself 'awkward' and the only reason is because people think of you like this, or you think they think that. As many people said so far 90 percent of people are dumbasses you either can talk to them, or you can't this isn't your fault.

Try talking to yourself in the mirror, if you think people are mislead by what you say maybe its your facial expressions.

But never say you hate everyone. That is just a negative outlook that doesn't help. Sure I've said it myself but you cant judge anyone right of the start like this. You get to know them, then you have the right to hate them.

Anyway, as my mother said before me, 1 good friend is better than 100 small friends.

 

[MontyGommo]

There is a book i read back when i was a young lad. While the style of writing and examples were somewhat outdated even back then, the lessons learned are still very valid.

The book is called 'How to Win Friends and Inflluence People' by Dale Carnegie (I'm sure you notice the reference one of the great Simon Pegg's recent movies made to this)

Honestly, it's a short enough book, and while a tad boring has some very important life lessons that one you are aware of them, seem very basic.

 

[Clemenstation]

Longest [snip] ever.

I actually read all that. I'm surprised of myself...

That post was awesome. You deserve a medal or something.

I skipped straight to the last line, which invited me to "suck on it" or somesuch.

Good stuff.

Anyway, I'm interested by the litany of voices telling this person to become better at small talk. In my group of friends, small talk is anathema... but dude, we definitely do it anyway without even realizing.

Most people who actively try to be "intellectual" are really just interested in rambling about their own niche interest, be it literary theory + anime, obscure film, or what-the-hell ever. Just because somebody doesn't care to hear your 45 minute explanation about why Aeris isn't REALLY dead doesn't necessarily make them a vapid clone-beast.

It's rockingly pretentious to assume that the world is full of dimwits just because they don't like the same things as you, but people love leaping to this conclusion.

 

[Cheesus333]

I will kill you.

This is probably why people don't return your calls and your mother cries in shame after you leave the room.


Back on topic, I reckon that you should be a little more open with your friends - especially your boyfriend. If you think he's condescending (I think that's how it's spelt, but you learn more from your mistakes) then let him know (gently, not aggressively) and maybe he'll be a bit more... what's the word? Tolerant? We'll go for that. Tolerant.
As for your friends, if you don't like what they're talking aboiut - leave. I know it seems rude, but you'll just seem even ruder if you stand there, arms folded, yawning occasionally.


P.S: Big hugs and a smile!

 

[thousandfaces]

You misinterpret what i mean. its not like im outwardly mean to anyone. I hate these people because they made school shit for me and made me insecure. I try to be polite and pleasant to people when they talk to me. all im trying to do is learn from people and learning how to evolve into a better perons and i just get burned for it. The reason i put up this thread was so i could get answers. Im confused and a bit out-of-sorts about the whole thing and people i'm and idiot and "arrogant" Im fucking sorry, all i was doing was asking for help![/quote]

1. In your original post you said sorry 3 times @ least for presenting your problem. Its a bit annoying and shows your insecurity.
2. "And It's like i feel like a failure, i'm completely happy with the way i am... awww fuck this, why are people such dicks (haha a bit contradictory).." Ok, do you want advice or what? Are you willing to change? Because thinking and writing that type of comment does not help at all.
3. You are starting with the wrong foot if you think you are more intelligent than the people your age. I know knowledge is power, but you are not getting any respect from anyone with that kind of attitude.
4. I think your insecurity leaks out of your body when ever you interact with people, and everyone can see it like dogs smell fear. I frankly dont have a tried and true method for your situation but from my personal experience i learned to be just nice, no more no less; and yes i happened to be in your shoes once.

 

[Heretic666GC]

Keep an open mind. You may think it's cool to be elitist and with specialized interests, but all it does is annoy the "middle" crowd (i.e. people who aren't cliques) when they try to make conversation with you. Don't change yourself because of others: if you let yourself get bullied into playing a whimpering sycophant, you'll be that way for the rest of your life. But locking yourself into a specific clique/hobby/interest group makes you harder to talk with/less desirable/etc.

There's a reason that one of the main "rules" in gaining power is to not choose sides: by doing so, you make yourself easy to identify (and ridicule), you have a lot to lose if your side loses (going out of fashion/social hierarchy would be the rough equivalent) and not a lot to gain if your side wins (since you're just part of the crowd). By keeping flexible and remaining somewhat interested (even if it's an act), you'd be surprised how much friendlier/desirable/less annoying people will be in return.

If you want to learn more, here's a basic synopsis of the book (which you can probably pick up in stores). Check Rule 20.

http://www2.tech.purdue.edu/cg/Courses/cgt411/covey/48_laws_of_power.htm

I just want to point out that this is extremly true. I spend most of my time hanging out with a small group of friends (maybe 10-15 people) who are all into the same kind of scremo/metal/death stuff, and now i find it hard to talk and relate to my other, less emo-I-hate-life-cut-myself friends. I find that as I try to spend more time with my "normaler" friends, things just get akward, and I'm slowly losing touch with people I've been friends with for years because I got myself tied in with a clique/crowd.

I'm pretty much recommending staying neutral. You can hang out with one popular group all you want, but your relations outside that group will suffer, and then when something comes along and all the people in your group move on to something else, you will be left with very few friends.

 

[Lord Krunk]

if i can't talk to you about whats on my mind then you aren't worth it. i dont want to talk about what colour britney spears dyed her hair this week. There are more important things in life. *sigh*

I have a feeling that I fall under that category. "If it doesn't interest me, then it's not worth hearing about."

Welcome to the Escapist by the way. Sorry if our *glances back at rest of users* elitism put you off, but we are all Escapists in the end, so you should feel right at home. I've learned a lot from a year here; I hope you do too.

 

[Skalman]

It's rockingly pretentious to assume that the world is full of dimwits just because they don't like the same things as you, but people love leaping to this conclusion.

I assume the "vast majority" of this earth and it's inhabitants are complete and utterly ignorant assholes. But not because they don't like the same things I do, but because they consider themselves better than me for it. Because they think I am beneath them for not doing what they are.
I try to assume as little as possible about a person before I get to know them (prejudice exists in everyone, just varying degrees of it).

The trick is, however, to find the ones who are not in the "vast majority".

 

[Aunel]

maybe you need a hobby, something social you can meet friends and get to know other people with the same interrests, it will be easier to talk to them, and talk to them face-to-face, that's always better than from behind a monitor.

 

[I3uster]

90% of my social problems got beter with pickup, 10% with mind-control-drugs

 

[Valiance]

Snip

Well, that was fucking awesome, thank you.

It almost made me cry since it reminded me of how I used to be (and still accidentally am sometimes) and a couple relationships I fucked up from being judgmental.

Bravo, my dear sir.

~

Anyway, OP, you sound exactly like a close friend of mine, and I'll tell you the same thing I tell her. It's really not so hard to make friends, even if you fail at it. People (at least the ones I meet) are genuinely happy that you even tried, and try to give you another medium to communicate with them on if they're really interested in you.

Like the other day I saw some kid playing Quake Live in a computer lab at school, and, knowing that we had something small and simple in common, I walked over to him and stammered out of my mouth "H-How are the q-q-queue times?" And he was like "Way better than last week...You play the beta too? What's your ID?" And then we talked about it for like 5 minutes, and he gave me a piece of paper with his username on it, and when I got home, we played together a bit and talked for like an hour about nothing - FPS games and stuff coming out and Id software and whatever.

Is that anything to base a friendship off? Maybe, maybe not.

She occasionally meets other people who talk about WoW, and she just does what I used to do - facepalm about how they're terrible, how they're doing everything wrong, "HOW CAN THEY STRUGGLE TO BREAK 2K DPS AS AN UNHOLY DK AT LEVEL 80?", etc, etc.

That doesn't do anything helpful.

I would rather be stupid and happy than a depressed genius hiding in my ivory tower.

That sums it up, but unfortunately, I guess I'm one of the "more intelligent" people in this town. It doesn't help to be able to watch people ruin their lives, warn them against things, and they go and do it anyway and complain to you when it goes wrong.

I've made more friends once I stopped caring and stopped expecting, lowered my standards, so to speak...Granted, none of them are as close as my old old old friends who feel the same as I, but maybe one of them will develop to that, and there's new people out there every day.

Also, you have some severe self-confidence issues, and I don't blame you since I used to as well, but understand that nothing, and I mean NOTHING good can come from apprehension. Learn, think about what to change, and decide to actually do it.

This is probably long enough, and I would be glad if you gain anything from this post.

 

[Mr_spamamam]

all i can say is dont worry about fitting in. to quote megadeth "The more seriously I took things,The harder the rules became"not that its that easy. i still worry about stuff even though i know i shouldn't.

 

[Elite L Dizzy]

You are not special. You have high standards for others not because you have faith that everyone is good and wonderful and taking advantage of all life's opportunitys. You do, because you are an asshole. You need to talk to a therapist about this stuff. Bringing it to blog form make you look like you have asperger syndrome. You can put words together eloquently and have no need to share your thoughs with other... this makes you inept. I don't care about other people's opinions either. You don't see me whining, or in your case crying like a lil ***** that people don't get me or it is hard to make friends.
Get your life together. If your boyfriend is too smart for you to feel good about yourself then leave him. Or gain weight and he will leave you. You can have feelings about your rough childhood and how you had to move and were teased. But eventually you will not profit from your self loathing and you will figure out how your life can get better. Whether you figure it out now or in 10 years is up to you. Think about how long you want to be percieved as a pain in the ass then work toward your goal. The worst case scenario is you die with a needle in your arm. Best case... you do whatever you want and live a semi normal life like everyone else on the planet. You are not forgiven for being a waste of space. If you have to kill youself find and kill 12 people just like you before you do it. That way I won't have to stumble onto a dozen more of there retarded ramblings in the future.

ps. I can tell you are hot by how stupid and out of touch you are. Please only kill the 6's or below of the world. Some of the hotties will be worth saving. You might have been before you wrote this illicit piece of "give me a reason to live" piece.

 

[DavidTanis]

How about this, find someone not online to talk to, human contact is a good thing.

 

[Ace of Spades]

Do what I do and learn to not care. That's usually my outlook on life. If people like me, great, if they don't, well fuck you then. It's worked pretty well for the last 16 years.

 

[cuddly_tomato]

i generally keep my thoughts to myself because they are too crazily in depth to talk about with anyone except maybe my boyfriend

How do you know? Have you tried?

I am going to do what I always do and try to sincerely give you the best advice I can on the circumstances I see. Those silly conversations about Britney Spears' hair colour...

if i can't talk to you about whats on my mind then you aren't worth it. i dont want to talk about what colour britney spears dyed her hair this week. There are more important things in life. *sigh*

...show me you really aren't getting the point of social interaction. See, Britney Spears' hair isn't important to them either. It is the actual talk that is important. The communication with another person. The talking back and forth, seeing the eyes, hearing the voice, having a bit of a laugh about something, that is important.

ALL friends start off as strangers. Complete and total strangers. The worst thing you can do is go up to a stranger and say "I have something really deep and incredibly life changing on my mind, mind if we talk about it?" unless you want them to flee for all they are worth. So we get around this by small talk. Just chatting, and during those chats (if you get past the Britney stage) you wind up talking generally about more personal matters. What your life is about and stuff, but still in a light hearted way. It is only after this that bonds form strong enough for people to have those really deep moments you obviously crave. But if you are unwilling to put the work in and tolerate a bit of Britney talk you will never get there.

It doesn't matter who you are, what your interests are, or how "higher" or more intelligent you think you are, every single human out there is a unique individual with experience and knowledge vastily different from your own, and is an interesting person in their own right. Try your best to be friendly and approachable to everyone you meet. If they want to chat about something that you don't find interesting - be interested. Listen to what they have to say because you are learning something new, and because it will make them feel better for the talk.

Seriously TriSarahTops making friends is really easy.

 

[implodingMan]

You really shouldn't talk with people on forums about these kinds of problems. All you will get is people telling you that you are correct in "being yourself" and that "99% of the people on Earth are morons".

I will say two things though. First, talk to someone about how you feel. I don't mean nameless forum dwellers like yours truly, I mean a psychologist or a counselor or something. Second, lose the attitude. I guaran-fucking-tee you that a good number of those "morons" are actually smarter than you. Being an ass to someone because they have differing interests just paints you as not worth interacting with in other people's minds.

Honestly I can see why people are blowing you off. If I had to work or study with you then I probably wouldn't want to talk with someone who "hates everyone".