Hilarious dialogue in games

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Misterian

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Oct 3, 2009
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Discworld for PS1 has some pretty humorous dialogue. here's 1 good example.

"Did you get the number off that donkey cart?" Rincewind, after getting hit by the Unseen University Libarian.
 

Super Toast

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When you enter the mind of Boyd, the paranoid security guard in Psychonauts. You encounter several poorly disguised MIB agents who deliver wonderful dialog like this; 'I am a widow. I wish my spouse was not dead, but alive.' In the most monotone voice possible.
 

MurderousToaster

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Aug 9, 2008
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Need I say it?

"In A.D. 2101
War was beginning.
Captain: What happen ?
Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Operator: We get signal.
Captain: What !
Operator: Main screen turn on.
Captain: It's You !!
Cats: How are you gentlemen !!
Cats: All your base are belong to us.
Cats: You are on the way to destruction.
Captain: What you say !!
Cats: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Cats: HA HA HA HA ....
Captain: Take off every 'zig' !!
Captain: You know what you doing.
Captain: Move 'ZIG'.
Captain: For great justice."
 

Thurston

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Nov 1, 2007
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Doc Buzzsaw, an unlockable contact from City of Villains:

"Oh, what has science wrought? I sought only to turn a man into a metal-encased juggernaut of destruction powered by the unknown properties of a mysterious living crystal. How could this have all gone wrong?"


Or, Vernon Von Grun, regular contact from City of Villains:

"Indeed, Daos suspects NOTHING of my genius! Or of my true plans to RULE the WORLD!

Laugh with me!

RAAH - HA - HA - HA - HA - HAAAAA!

I don't know if you've noticed but I've been trying a couple different styles of evil laugh. It's hard to pick the right one."
 

Baralak

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Sacred 2 is pretty good for this. Earlier, I read a statue that said "MArathon runners with bad shoes duffer the agony of de feet".

When I killed a soldier, he screamed " I am teh sexeh!"
Almost every gravestone I've read in the game brought a smile to my face. "If I'm dead and you're reading this, then my theory of the world being in my head was wrong"

So many more awesome moments....
 

coldshadow

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Mar 19, 2009
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kesslerparadox52 said:
WHEN MORDIN SINGS GILBERT AND SULLIVAN!


EDIT: Ha, wasn't ninjad.
I am the very model of a Scientist Salarian
I've studied species turian, asari and batarian.
I'm quite good at genetics (as a subset of biology)
Because I am an expert (which I know is a tautology)
 

General BrEeZy

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Jul 26, 2009
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1. Haggard and Redford from Battlefield Bad Company:
R: "Haggard! Is this your idea of fun??!?
H: "Well, yeah."

2. 99% of everything Wrex said from Mass Effect 1...
such as: "If I die in here, I'll kill him!"
Lady security guard in Lorik Qu'in's office on Noveria.
S.G.: "...you're joking; you wont kill us..."
Wrex: "you're right, they're gonna let me eat you."
and everything else pretty much.
 

asdasdasdasda

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Oct 17, 2009
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Well, the dialogue between characters in DA:O is nice but http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Dog%27s_Dialogue takes the cake.

Everything in Portal. Seriously.

There was a lot of funny stuff when you spam clicked on the units in Warcraft 3.

 

maninahat

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Nov 8, 2007
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phimax100 said:
GLaDOS: When I said "deadly neurotoxin," the "deadly" was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff. Put in on cereal, rub it right into my eyes... honestly, it's not deadly at all... to *me*. You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness... a lot less funny.
I'd put that in "most alarmingly erotic dialogue in games" too.
 

ethaninja

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Oct 14, 2009
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keybird said:
"Who goes to war in a cowboy hat"
"Uh, cowboys"
"Cowboys havent been in a war in over 200 years"
"Dallas Cowboys go to war every Sunday, sometimes Monday"

Sweetwater and Haggard from Bad Company 2
Haha yeah that bit was funny as :p I would have to go with that one too.
 

ShakerSilver

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Nov 13, 2009
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Anything GLaDOS says:
-After the test is done, you will be missed.
-STOP!! What are you doing!! I I iiieeeeeeerrrrrwwe are pleased that you survived the part where I pretended to murder you.
-That part you destoyed isn't important to me. It made shoes for orphans; nice job destroying it, hero.

Anything said in TF2:
-What's that sandvich? Kill them all? GOOD IDEA! BWA HA HA HA HA!! -Heavy
-Nice headset, can I see it? "This is Scout. Rainbows make me cry. Over." -Spy
-If God had wanted you to live, he would have not created me! -Soldier
-Eins, zwei, dr-ugh... I don't think we brought enough body bags. -Medic

Some dialogue from HL2 (and episodes):
-Dear God! Poor Laszlo! The finest mind of his generation, come to such an end!
-I used to kill Hunters with my bare hands!
Plus sometimes when rebels are talking with each other they say stuff like:
Guy1: Sometimes, I dream about... cheese.
Guy2: Well what am I supposed to do about that?!

Valve really knows how to write some hilarious dialogue.