Hilarious Quotes From People You Know...

[King of the Sandbox]

SCENE: My friend Alex's room, 3am in the morning. He's on his computer, I'm playing Shenmue on Dreamcast.

THE QUOTED: Alex's dad, bursting in the room suddenly in his underwear, half asleep.

THE QUOTE: ".............(long, awkward pause)...........Sorry, guys.", before immediately slamming the door and vanishing back into the house somewhere.

We stared at each other for about an minute, then burst out laughing.

 

[Berethond]

Well, I was at a football stadium and I was going to be moving things around so I had brought my work gloves. I pull them out of my pocket, and this girl next to me says, "You brought a gun?"

I almost fell over laughing because she was so serious. It was a glove. She thought it was a gun.

 

[ljd184]

first friend looks left
beastly

second looks right
altea

both at the same time
beastlyaltea

 

[Tharwen]

My friend once said:

"You want a sweet name for a heavy metal band? Click Random article twice on wikipedia"

Ummm...

"UMDNJ ? School of Nursing" / "Final Cut"

HE LIED TO YOU

 

[King of the Sandbox]

My friend once said:

"You want a sweet name for a heavy metal band? Click Random article twice on wikipedia"

Ummm...

"UMDNJ ? School of Nursing" / "Final Cut"

HE LIED TO YOU

I dunno, "Final Cut" sounds pretty sweet.

Oh, and OT: My friend Kevin once walked into a barber shop, thinking (for some reason) that it was a diner. He looks to the barber and asks, "Yo, can a brotha get a hot-dog?"

We still quote that when someone blindly stumbles into something, thinking it to be something else.

 

[Tharwen]

My friend once said:

"You want a sweet name for a heavy metal band? Click Random article twice on wikipedia"

Ummm...

"UMDNJ ? School of Nursing" / "Final Cut"

HE LIED TO YOU

I dunno, "Final Cut" sounds pretty sweet.

No, each side of the slash was one hit.

 

[Toriver]

One of my D&D friends keeps a book of hilarious quotes from our D&D sessions. One of the best ones was when one guy was playing a hillbilly in d20 Modern.

"All a man needs is his land, his bear, and his gun."
*brief pause for blank stares at him*
"Mountain law."
*character walks away*

 

[ottenni]

Where do i start...

Well ill give the first in a long year of stupid slips of the tongue. "Friends are more important than your social life"

"You want a sweet name for a heavy metal band? Click Random article twice on wikipedia"

Sharpless asymmetric dihydroxylation Instant Sunshine

hmmmmmm. Maybe i could shorten that to S.A.D.I.S. Yeah!

 

[Raiha]

"hey try lighting that on fire. you know, see if that stuff is flamable." .......it was.

 

[OmegaXzors]

Well, we had nothing really to say so one friend says (I don't mean to offend),

"...so I was fucking this guy in the ass last night..."

 

[ZomgSharkz]

A bit of context: this was in Spanish class and we had to describe a character from a movie. Before we started he was letting kids ask how to say certain words in Spanish.

Friend (in an incredibly deep, gruff voice): How do ya say tough??

Teacher: What?

Friend: Tough!

Teacher: Like, what kind of tough?

Friend: Like T-U-F-F tough, like TONKA truck tough!!

You sorta had to be there...but whatever...it makes me smile.

 

[Avatar Roku]

"Video games aren't for having fun". Said with a straight face. He meant that stats are all that's important, not having fun (it was said over a game of CoD). He's not my friend now for a myriad of reasons. Hilarious in hindsight though.

"Black Milky White". Ok, in gym, they were making us play Telephone for god knows what reason. My other friend, who'd just recently gotten into Failblog, starts it with "All aboard the Fail Train." We ended up with "Black Milky White". We now use that to denote a misunderstanding. Best part is, the change wasn't intentional, we were able to trace down the line how it changed, and it was all a logical progression, such as it is.

 

[leviathanmisha]

"So, I've come to a conclusion about Ryan...he's a gay robot." MY FRENCH TEACHER FTW!!!! Seriously, my not-so-nerdy french teacher said that about one of our friends and we all just shat bricks...

 

[UnkeptBiscuit]

Me and seven of my friends, male and female, were playing Truth or Dare at a friend's house. Out of nowhere, my friend Jeff protests, "This isn't Truth or Dare, we all have our clothes on!" Sadly, it was true.

My friend once said:

"You want a sweet name for a heavy metal band? Click Random article twice on wikipedia"

I got Air Tractor AT-602. I think a band named Air Tractor would be the best band ever.

 

[King of the Sandbox]

Me and seven of my friends, male and female, were playing Truth or Dare at a friend's house. Out of nowhere, my friend Jeff protests, "This isn't Truth or Dare, we all have our clothes on!" Sadly, it was true.

My friend once said:

"You want a sweet name for a heavy metal band? Click Random article twice on wikipedia"

I got Air Tractor AT-602. I think a band named Air Tractor would be the best band ever.

Yeah, I've said that myself, on two separate occasions. There's kiddie truth or dare, and then there's 'Your friends will all feel uncomfortable around one another from now on' Truth or Dare.

Also, I'd pay money to go to an Air Tractor concert.

 

[Motiv_]

"I know I missed, asshat, get off my balls!"

"That's what she sai- wait a minute."

 

[philosophicalbastard]

It really sucks to come across a thread like this and not have anything to add because you are the one to come up with these quotes. It's even worse when all the people you know only say qoutes from other people.

Though now that I think about it a friend of mine did say...


"British people can't lie!"


It makes alot more sense in context (like most things), we were discussing that movie about a world were no one lied. Since then she has referred to it as an absolute fact, yes she is an odd one.