I've only encountered one gay guy who may have been hitting on me. But then again, I have a hard time telling the difference between a girl hitting on me and a girl just being really friendly (was bullied in grade, middle, and high school, became jaded, story we've all heard/been in), so I doubt my ability to tell the difference when it comes to gay guys as well.
Homophobisms
- Thread starter Ando85
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Straight guy here. I have been hit on a handful of times. I don't care at all. The only time it gets on my nerves is when they don't stop after you tell them you're straight. They wouldn't like it if I was a chick hitting on them shrieking at them about how they are straight. I'm not trying to convince them they dig chicks...Respect who the individual is.
I find it uncomfortable to be hit on by either gender (I'm a straight male). That whole process just...bothers me. More relevantly, though, I think this was most nicely handled by a guy I met a few years ago. When it looked like we were going to start hanging out, he said, "I know you're straight, and I'm bi. I won't hit on you. Is this going to be a problem?"
I love flat honesty (and no, it wasn't a problem).
I love flat honesty (and no, it wasn't a problem).
A really good friend of mine is bi, and he often jokes that he 'would'.
I can't tell if he's joking, so it's kinda awkward.
I can't tell if he's joking, so it's kinda awkward.
I've never knowingly been hit on by a gay guy. That may have something to do with the fact that I'm a woman...
It is frustrating how a lot of people seem to assume that just because they find out a friend of the same gender as them is gay, he/she must automatically fancy them, but it's not the end of the world. You can imagine how fun it was/how many egos got bruised when I came out as bi back in school. Suddenly I "fancied" just about everyone I ever spent any time with
I don't really get why it has to be such a huge issue for some people though. Just treat it the same way you would if anyone else you weren't attracted to hit on you. Doesn't have to be (much) more awkward than that.
It is frustrating how a lot of people seem to assume that just because they find out a friend of the same gender as them is gay, he/she must automatically fancy them, but it's not the end of the world. You can imagine how fun it was/how many egos got bruised when I came out as bi back in school. Suddenly I "fancied" just about everyone I ever spent any time with
I don't really get why it has to be such a huge issue for some people though. Just treat it the same way you would if anyone else you weren't attracted to hit on you. Doesn't have to be (much) more awkward than that.
I may actually have been on the other end of this situation!
I had a real "ground, please swallow me" moment in my late teens. It was past midnight, I'd had a couple of drinks, and I'd ended up sat next to this absolutely gorgeous girl.
I was doing really well - keeping it casual - when something made me blurt out, "This is going to sound weird, but you have amazing legs."
She didn't bat an eyelid. She just said "Thanks" in a fairly neutral tone, then sat waiting to see what I'd say next.
I chickened out and changed the subject.
Hitting on guys is so much less stressful than hitting on girls because I know the odds are in my favour. And even if I do end up making moves on a gay guy, they tend to be really understanding. (It's only happened to me once, and he was almost apologetic!)
I had a real "ground, please swallow me" moment in my late teens. It was past midnight, I'd had a couple of drinks, and I'd ended up sat next to this absolutely gorgeous girl.
I was doing really well - keeping it casual - when something made me blurt out, "This is going to sound weird, but you have amazing legs."
She didn't bat an eyelid. She just said "Thanks" in a fairly neutral tone, then sat waiting to see what I'd say next.
I chickened out and changed the subject.
Hitting on guys is so much less stressful than hitting on girls because I know the odds are in my favour. And even if I do end up making moves on a gay guy, they tend to be really understanding. (It's only happened to me once, and he was almost apologetic!)
I've never hit on a straight guy. It's too awkward. I just find out what someone's orientation is first, before I make any kind of move.
Honestly I think I might have freaked out a little if a guy tried to hit on me. Nothing against homosexuals, I just have a a problem with getting hit on in general. I think I might have freaked out more if a girl tried since with a guy I could just say I wasn't gay and that would be the end of it.
Well I have been hit on by gay men in the past on multiple occasions. Its a fairly disturbing experience if you happen to not be gay, because you have to wonder what "vibe" are you giving off that is kicking on gaydar. But, I try to look at it with the old logic of "Just because you do not wish to go to the party does not mean its not nice to be invited" and civily decline.
But its not always about the assumption of the hetero. Some gay men are aggressive about their sexuality. I used to work with one gay individual who once stated "Any guy is only a 6 pack away from a gay encounter" and was aggressive in pursuing that ideology. He gleefully admitted on how many straight guys he nailed. Some gay men like the challenge. I have also been informed by gay friends that this is not an uncommon theme amongst part of the gay community, though it is frowned upon. But still it is No different than any other sexual predilection. The people like what they like and will go to any ends they feel needed to satisfy their personal niche.
But its not always about the assumption of the hetero. Some gay men are aggressive about their sexuality. I used to work with one gay individual who once stated "Any guy is only a 6 pack away from a gay encounter" and was aggressive in pursuing that ideology. He gleefully admitted on how many straight guys he nailed. Some gay men like the challenge. I have also been informed by gay friends that this is not an uncommon theme amongst part of the gay community, though it is frowned upon. But still it is No different than any other sexual predilection. The people like what they like and will go to any ends they feel needed to satisfy their personal niche.
I was hit on by a Bi guy at one point...didn't really go anywhere from there though. I've never really experimented before honestly and was somewhat open in the before time. Not that I'm anti but because I'm taken. Yay monogamy!
I think Scott Thompson (as Buddy Cole) said it best: "I mean, why is it always the big smelly guys who think all [gays] want them?"Ando85 said:
This behavior is identical to the behavior of a great deal of straight men with regard to women. If this behavior is unacceptable toward one group, it should be considered just as unacceptable toward the other. However, most men will laugh off their buddy who brags about all the women he has had sex with and who goes after every woman he can, but will then turn around and consider the behavior of a gay man doing the same to be deviant.viranimus said:
As a heterosexual male, I just politely inform a gay man that I'm straight. This doesn't change my future behavior toward the other man. I likewise react to finding out that a woman is a lesbian by backing off and acting as would a platonic friend. I've found that the "overly aggressive gay male" is pretty goddamn rare.
You used the word "homophobia", but I think you mean people that hate gay people, not people that are afraid of them?
I have been hit on by a lot of gay guys, and one lanky skeletor looking gay guy even slipped me G at a party once. Luckily my friends took care of me, cause I couldn't even walk by myself after I drank the stuff.
I have been hit on by a lot of gay guys, and one lanky skeletor looking gay guy even slipped me G at a party once. Luckily my friends took care of me, cause I couldn't even walk by myself after I drank the stuff.