How best to ruin Mass Effect 3

[Infernai]

Reveal Tali and all quarians to look like John simm underneath the helmet.

 

[cthulhumythos]

You are the head writer/developer for Mass Effect 3. For years Bioware executives have abused you, forced you to work 80 hour weeks, paid you far less than you were worth, perhaps even picked at a physical issue to humiliate you in front of your peers etc. For years you've longed to quit but couldn't because you had no other marketable skills and needed to support your family. However, yesterday you won $40 million dollars in the lottery, far more than you could ever spend. You drive right down to Bioware to quit, but realize you want more than freedom, you want REVENGE. So you keep your winnings a secret and resume business as usual, but now you are trying to come up with something that will piss off as many fanboys as possible, turning people away from Bioware/EA for years to come. What is it?

My ideas:
-Tali is genetically male with gender dysphoria and is living a lie with the female suit and fake female voice. This is revealed and he becomes Shepard's same sex romance option.
-The Reapers true motivations are benevolent and they want to transport humans to a land of eternal pleasure or something like that.

nothing. it can't get any worse. (what a twist!)

just kidding.

i'd really make it so you have to probe each reaper to death and you have to do it 200 reapers in a specific time frame. and you only do damage on high deposits.

 

[HandfulofWolf]

all of the voice actors have been fired and replaced by Nolan North.

Or even worse, every character has 10 different voice actors with no similarity between the voices.

And one of the voice actors keeps screaming their lines.

 

[InsomniJack]

- At the middle, Liara says "Let's just be friends", and disappears for the rest of the game.

- The story focuses on Jack for 90% of the game, and everyone starts to ask what would Jack do, or what would Jack say, and it would all end with what Jack would do or what Jack would say.

- Miranda gets a boob/ass reduction.

- At the beginning, Tali says "Let's just be friends" and stays with Shepard for the entire game just so she can remind him of that, especially if he DIDN'T decide to romance her (in short 30 second increments in dialogue when she's not asking about Jack).

- Udina kills Anderson out of rage, and gets away with no consequences or comeuppance.

But I think the ultimate one would be:

- Landing on a planet and physically scanning the planet for minerals using the Mako as the scanner.

 

[Emerson White]

As a fanboy,this topic scares me.

 

[Ruiner87]

Cut down on the skill tree, again, until the game is just Gears of War with more colours.

 

[Lord RPGs]

Reveal that Tali is actually Jar Jar in disguise. One very, very simple thing that would only require a model change, but one that would ruin the game.

Now, let us never consider this possibility again.

 

[DEAD34345]

Replace every character in the game with Elcor.

That's what would cause me to rage anyway. Extremely angry: I fucking hate those things.

You have it all wrong, that would instantly make the game hilarious and great. The only thing that could be better is if everyone was Hanar.

OT: Tali is a facehugger, and romancing her causes Shepard to die in a gruesome manner and the Normandy to be filled with baby Quarians (who devour/reproduce with the crew). Also the game's main plot revolves around Shephard trying to deal with an unfortunate Gizka infestation, that way they can make a 4th game in which Shepard may or may not finally stop screwing around and actually go kill the reapers (depending on whether EA is done milking the cash-cow yet, so... unlikely).

 

[MostlyHarmless]

You're introduced into the new combat system. RTS battle system complete with level grinding and airships. And Shepard has a pointy purple haircut.

 

[kitsunefather]

Shepard dies at the beginning of the game, and is put back together by the Collectors, who really only wanted to help everyone. You get cutscenes where Garrus, Tali, Liara and the other important characters from the other two games insult you personally about how horrible you are for working for the Collectors, but never give the player a choice...

You know what?

Just repeat the same basic process of ME2, but replace Cerberus with Collectors and make everyone hate them.

 

[The Lost Big Boss]

Shepard being able to save everyone with no costly sacrifice. Being able to have no one killed in ME2 on the last mission made the tension die fast, and made me feel like what I did was just another mission. Make me sacrifice, make me pick no easy choice.

 

[Terminate421]

Make shepard look like Skeletor and kill off every character you saved. Then make the player have to walk across the same exact size Terrain that the Mako Missions from ME1 were in.

 

[let's rock]

It's easy, the reapers are vulnerable only to cuddles and soft bunnies, and you spend most of the game collecting cute bunnies to combat the reapers

 

[David Hebda]

The entire thing is a giant hoax played out by all the other races to make humans look dumb.

 

[the27thvoice]

All females on your crew now act and look exactly like Miranda.
The Mako is back, baby! Loads of required missions with it, and the controls are unchanged from ME1.

Aw what the hell am I suggesting here? They are doing a much better job killing the game than I am...Kinect...

 

[David Hebda]

Actually... I would just make it buggy as hell.

 

[Matthew Kjonaas]

Seeing Tali die after you sleep with her in the Romance or if you romanced her before.

Talis' face being ugly / weird

party member who goes insane and kills other party members or would that just be cool?

BTW I have never played ME before I just know about it but never got around to buying it.

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

If Jack isn't a character I can have in my party. It will be ruined for me.

 

[Drops a Sweet Katana]

Turn it into a total Gears of War clone without any of the things that made the first two games great.

Ah, I see what you did there...