How do I convince her games have merit?

[Madara XIII]

My mom is dead set in scapegoating video-games for all my 'inadequacies' (no innuendo intended). She feels that all video games are useless and mind killing, even more so than television. She believe I have an 'addiction' which she has to cure, and my modest 10-hours-a-week playtime has been reduced to zero. I usually play Halo and I'm ecstatic about Reach. All my friends love it and we play together every night. Since they live far away it's a great way to spend time together and socialize. On the contrary, she sees it as antisocial and useless, so now my four-player Legendary runthrough is a three-man game and I'm stuck hearing stories of 'epic kills' the next day. How do I convince her it isn't killing my soul?

I suggest you show her a few episodes of Extra Credits, they basically sum it all up there.

and DAM man, i feel sorry for you a bit, especially that people believe video games to be a social stigma when in reality most gamers are some of the most social people out there and how alot of other outgoing persons as well are gamers.

 

[Woodsey]

Isn't it full of plot-holes?

Doesn't really matter, its a really well told story

That's bordering on an oxymoron.

 

[skennedy929]

Look, if you enjoy video games as much as I do then everyone else can go fuck themselves if they don't like it. It's your hobby and you can do whatever the hell you like with your own free time.

Jazz music was supposed to destroy the minds of the youth as was television. In my opinion video games usually provide a far more compelling and engaging experience than mostly anything on TV or movies for that matter.

Tell your mom that video games are no less a legitimate form of entertainment than comic books, television, or music. If she thinks that video games cause violent behavior then where the hell are all the murders that should be happening? The video game industry is the fastest growing form of entertainment in the world, so she is either going to have to get used to it or she can keep her ignorant opinions to herself.

Not dogging on your mom, but some people have really ridiculous ways of looking at the world. I'm not a book reader, don't have the attention span, but how much hate would I incur if I said books were gay and stupid? Why don't people realize that humans have found millions of ways to entertain themselves and no one way is more legitimate than the others?

 

[demoman_chaos]

I would recommend reasonably trying to convince her through the use of logic that your gaming has helped with your socialzation skills.
My dad says that games are bad, yet sits on his butt and watches tv. He says TV is better because it is real, a statement I find quite amusing considering he only watches crime dramas.

But some people can't be reasoned with, my dad being among them. They will have their own opinions and you can't change them (like people who think the katana is the best thing ever and can cut through a tank when in reality it is just a curved metal bar meant for whacking people). Just because they hear you, doesn't mean they are listening. At which point, give up trying to convince her and just go on about your gaming business regardless of her complaints. People who complain will always find something to complain about and will never be pleased. The moment you give into her demands is the moment she finds something else to bicker about.

 

[Wolfram23]

I think a problem here is that you're playing Halo.. so all she sees is you pointing a gun and killing shit. Probably not going to give the best impression. Try playing other games with her watching. I think it would be great to have her try Portal, and every time she fails (probably every level) you take over and beat it... pretty easy to see how much better your critical and analytical thinking is than hers.

But really, if she's so dead set, IMO maybe buy a handheld and play it in your room or else spend as much time away from the house as you can to game with friends. Have lots of sleep overs. Be very "social" and see if she likes you never being home lol.

You could also try explaining how you have some very good friends but due to logistics are unable to meet in person, and video games are the only way you can really interact and enjoy eachother's company.

 

[deadxero]

You cannont convince a person of something if they aren't willing to see any side but their own. Some people are closed minded to the point that even clear cut facts will not persuaded them. It sucks, but it's part of the human condition.

 

[TerribleAssassin]

Make her play Deus Ex 1, or tell her you enjoy them dearly.


Either shall work my freind.

 

[Nmil-ek]

Grow a pair and make a decision you wither go along with what she tells you or you have an argument, ask whats going to cause more damage to your relationship in the long run? Your mom sounds dead set and guessing your not exactly old enough to make any major changes ot your living circumstances, you wont convince her through civil conversation.

You're a human being and allowed fun lifes really fucking short and the only place studying, working and worrying is going to get you is an earlier grave, man up and tell her how you want to live and to get the fuck out of the way.

 

[rokkolpo]

you won't ever convince her, she's just being a stubborn parent.

 

[TPiddy]

Try using other people as an example.... there are plenty of successful, well adjusted normal people who play video games. I'm one of them. I've got a good job, a fiancee, a house and a car. I'm sure several other escapists are in similar situations. I'm sure some gamers out there may even be doctors and lawyers or whomever it is your mom wants you to be. Her problem is not video games themselves, her perception is that it's all you seem to want to do and it's preventing you from doing other things.

So your solution, then, would be to show her that you want to do other things or show her other people who game just as much as you do and are examples of what she wants you to become.

Being a gamer doesn't prevent you from accomplishing anything and in some situations helps with math, logic and hand-eye coordination.

 

[Lordmarkus]

My mom is dead set in scapegoating video-games for all my 'inadequacies' (no innuendo intended). She feels that all video games are useless and mind killing, even more so than television. She believe I have an 'addiction' which she has to cure, and my modest 10-hours-a-week playtime has been reduced to zero. I usually play Halo and I'm ecstatic about Reach. All my friends love it and we play together every night. Since they live far away it's a great way to spend time together and socialize. On the contrary, she sees it as antisocial and useless, so now my four-player Legendary runthrough is a three-man game and I'm stuck hearing stories of 'epic kills' the next day. How do I convince her it isn't killing my soul?

Buy any of the Total War games and say that they are for learning the bloody history of Europe. She'll leave you alone after that.

 

[Furious Styles]

That's bordering on an oxymoron.

No it isn't, haven't you ever found a film riveting and really enjoyed it despite the fact that it doesn't really hold together? The story isn't that amazing, the way its told is.

 

[countkillalot]

Ok... I suspect your mother is a reasonable person that can use logic and reason to shape her opinions. With that in mind, you need to do two things:

1. Make her read these 3 books (also read them yourself, they are quite good)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Everything-Bad-Good-You-Popular/dp/0141018682/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285619497&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Finding-Knowing-psychology-information-Information/dp/0851424546/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285619549&sr=8-3

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ludoliteracy-Defining-Understanding-Supporting-Education/dp/0557277914/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285619549&sr=8-5

Ask her te rethink her position on this question.

Unlike Dr. Phil and Oprah these writers are respected academics with relative credentials.

2. Set an example and show that you are a productive member of society. If your (school)work doesn't suffer that she can't blame videogames.

3. Make sure you have a quiet talk with her and present your case in the most retoric way possible.


If this does not work... well... stubborn people are just stubborn and you can always choose another hobby like boxing or skating and see how fast she'll put you back behind that 360 after you come home with a black-eye and a broken rib ( Just kidding don't do that, thats just silly)

 

[Talon Julius]

Ask her if she remembers the people who wanted to ban rock & roll. Then ask her how stupid she thought that was. If the answer is something like "That was silly", tell her she is the same type of ignorant person who is scared of anything new, or of anything changing. If she says the opposite of the previous statement, show her Extra Credits. If all else fails, go to a friends house to play Halo: Reach, or whatever else is hip at the time, she'll either miss you, or you get to be social and play video games. It's a win-win scenario.

Exactly. You can also bring up comic books too. Comic books went through the same exact thing that video games are going through now. A bunch of ignorant people took some extreme examples as the norm. Some crazy kids happened to read comics books. Some crazy kids happen to play video games. Does that mean that every child who plays video games or read comic books is crazy? No.

 

[Macgyvercas]

Show her Extra Credits?

......I'll second this idea.

Third.

If that doesn't work, nothing will.

 

[Tithe-to-Hell]

Unfortunately, your parents will be making decisions for you until you move out, no matter how much it bothers you.

However, maybe you should try reaching a compromise. Tell her that you appreciate her opinion, but at the same time it's clear she doesn't respect yours. Tell her that gaming is, in many ways, encouraging social behaviour these days for various reasons and this is the only frequent communication you get with your friends, so is it not fair to play it within reason?

See if you can agree on a half way point, like a few hours a week. In time, that might well increase when she sees how unharmful it really it.

In the end, the only way you'll really get through to her is by being respectful and reasonable. If she doesn't respond well then it's her problem, as you've given her no real reason to be angry or upset. Just try talking to her and reach a compromise, that way everyone' happy.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

It isn't a big deal if your mother blames games on all that. As long as you aren't neglecting your life to play games, then you know for a fact that games aren't to blame, and she should too, at least over time.