How do you be a jerk?

[Omikron009]

Just act like I do. I'm very sarcastic, I make fun of people constantly, I frequently act evasive and confusing when people are trying to talk to me for my own amusement, I don't suffer fools, and I call people out on their flaws. Those are just a few examples. I'm a HUGE jerk.

 

[AbsoluteVirtue18]

I'm not good at being a jerk. My conscious won't let me be one.

 

[goldenjester]

Being an asshole is easy:

1a) Ride a bike on a shoulder-less highway where the speed limit is 55 mph
1b) Swerve around us cyclists and not the share the road with us
2a) Yell at clerks, go to a checkout without a light on, get angry about corporate policy, etc
2b) Be passive aggressive while we shop at your store
3a) Kill babies/the elderly
3b) Leave babies/the elderly alive despite the drain they have on society
4a) Set buildings on fire
4b) Deny serial arsonists an outlet
5a) Post on the internet
5b) Never go on the internet
6a) Chain yourself to a tree
6b) Chop down trees
7a) Freak out about someone eating a steak in front of you if you're vegan/vegetarian at a restaurant
7b) Being an insensitive meat-eater
8a) Join the WBC
8b) Be gay/a soldier
9a) Rant about Glenn Beck's stupidity
9b) Rant about Glenn Beck's brilliance

Being an asshole is easy!

 

[neilsaccount]

Uuhh it's pretty obvious how to be a jerk. Everyone has done at least one jerky thing in their life. To say otherwise is lying, thus making you seem like a jerk. Even now, you seem like a jerk by posting this topic and telling everyone how nice you are. You seem to act as if you are better than everyone else in stating you havent done anything jerkish; and you also seem to be trying to back up your rediculous comment by asking what consists of jerkitude.

 

[EeveeElectro]

That's kind of impossible, I hate making others feel bad.
I might shoot an occasional filthy look. I was at the bus stop the other day and some old lady walked in, gave me such a dirty look, stood in front of me and pushed her way in front to get on the bus before anyone else. One her friends offered me to go before her and I said, "Nah, you go. She obviously did."
They should stop assuming all young people are the same. Older people are getting ruder than the young ones now.

 

[Paksenarrion]

"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them."
-some guy from a Shakespeare play

Just replace "greatness" with whatever you wish you could be (be it jerk, astronaut, pornstar, what have you), and it works.

 

[neilsaccount]

Personal attacks.

"Hey, why are you wearing crocs, they are ugly"
"You're ugly."

Gets em every time...

Crocs really are ugly though.

 

[Mr.Kitetsu]

I'm usually a rather distant person. If I'm a jerk it's for a few reasons.
1. The other person did or said something so unbelievably stupid that I can't hold back my comments.
2. The best way to get my point across is to evoke an extreme response from the other person.
3. I don't feel like caring about your feelings. Either because you've not proven yourself worth it, or because I'm currently too lazy.

Some people are just born like it.

yup you can't just become an asshole your born with it
it is a gift

Remember, though: With great power, comes great responsibility.

well for some
the threat for a asshole isn't whether there is a limit
its the threat of being a known asshole

 

[Yureina]

If I am trying to be mean, it tends to be through inaction or very deliberate malice rather than just an attitude of being "a jerk". I am not inclined to be mean to others unless it comes by accident (happens since I am bad with spoken words at times) or if I am very much trying to be a problem. There is something very sinister and evil about every moment that I seek to be mean to others, and they are moments I don't like to think about too often.

 

[superbatranger]

Get a baby and drop-kick it over a fence. Bam, instant asshole. Trust me never fails.

Don't forget to take away that baby's candy beforehand.

 

[Biosophilogical]

I can be an arsehole, because I tend to be very observant of things (people's insecurities, abilities, talents, flaws, etc) so if I wanted I could emotionally hurt a lot of people. But I'm nice, and I am also extremely empathetic and sympathetic, so when I hurt someone I can see and feel their pain. A great motivator for peaceful resolutions is, of course, when the alternative is both sides losing.

OT: So yeah, get yourself angry or find someone you despise, shut down all of your empathy and point out all of their emotional and physical flaws with cold disgust.

 

[ShadowsofHope]

I'm too sarcastic or just a blatant asshole every now and again, though I'm usually a good person. I just accept my asshole-ness and run with it as a joke so people either tend to like me or hate me.

Quote for relevant truth in the above.

Also, resisting a coy "jerking" remark. *Hems*

 

[ultrachicken]

Sarcasm, keeping your attention away from whoever is speaking to you, giving vague responses and getting angry when the other person asks you to explain.
I must ask what spurred you to ask this?

 

[Vilcus]

I'm a jerk to EVERYONE, except for the people that I'm nice to.

Honestly though, I can be a dick when I want to be, but most times I take back anything even remotely mean that I say.

 

[Snotnarok]

Sarcasm, a lot of it. Sometimes bad jokes thrown in to really liven it up.

 

[DigitalSushi]

I'm only a jerk to people who deserve it, like the other day I had to wait 5 minutes before a retail clerk served me because she was on the phone to her boyfriend, she was tiny so I pointed to the top of the Cigarette stand and asked for Sterlings Superkings.

I made her go get a chair so she could reach, unfotunately for her sterlings where actually at the bottom, so she pulled down every packet while I kept on saying "No not them"

It took 15 minutes and I missed my train, but it was worth it to watch her get all flustered when the supervisor came in.

I'm usually a rather distant person. If I'm a jerk it's for a few reasons.
1. The other person did or said something so unbelievably stupid that I can't hold back my comments.
2. The best way to get my point across is to evoke an extreme response from the other person.
3. I don't feel like caring about your feelings. Either because you've not proven yourself worth it, or because I'm currently too lazy.

Some people are just born like it.

yup you can't just become an asshole your born with it
it is a gift

Remember, though: With great power, comes great responsibility.

And I think the saying is "power corrupts, absolute power is pretty cool though."

 

[NoblePhilistineFox]

<<===============
*cough*
there is no such thing as a noble philistine, just an uppity asshole

 

[Leviathan_]

Just act like an ass by insulting people, that works.