How do you be a jerk?

[Me55enger]

I told a guy on TF2 this week that I hoped he lived long enough to see his children cut to little pieces and fed to dogs.

It worked...

 

[justforthefourth]

Convince yourself that you are hilarious.

Then try and prove it to the world (as we all shrug, sigh and carry on regardless).

 

[Death916]

edit messed up

 

[Death916]

edit messed up

 

[Dxz5roxg]

I'm not really sure but I know I can be a complete douche on command. As long as it's funny that is.

 

[Spinozaad]

Stop caring about anything but yourself. No, better yet: stop caring at all.

It's as simple as that. If you're "emotional" and "sensitive" and "nice", than you care too much.

 

[The King of Rock and Roll]

I make satirical posts on the internet and then people who have no sense of humor get pissed and report me and then I get pissed because they're stupid and there we go.

 

[DigitalSushi]

"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them."
-some guy from a Shakespeare play

Just replace "greatness" with whatever you wish you could be (be it jerk, astronaut, pornstar, what have you), and it works.

That made me giggle, I've spent 5 minutes talking to myself replacing greatness with random words.

"Some are born Pornstars, some achieve Pornstarness, some have Pornstarness thrust upon them."
uhhh err misses!

 

[NoblePhilistineFox]

edit messed up

I GET IT !!^_^

Convince yourself that you are hilarious.

Then try and prove it to the world (as we all shrug, sigh and carry on regardless).

why, I do believe you win ^_^

That made me giggle, I've spent 5 minutes talking to myself replacing greatness with random words.

"Some are born Pornstars, some achieve Pornstarness, some have Pornstarness thrust upon them."
uhhh err misses!

too...
many...
dirty...
[HEADING=1]JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKEEESS[/HEADING]

 

[Azure Sky]

If I am trying to be mean, it tends to be through inaction or very deliberate malice rather than just an attitude of being "a jerk". I am not inclined to be mean to others unless it comes by accident (happens since I am bad with spoken words at times) or if I am very much trying to be a problem. There is something very sinister and evil about every moment that I seek to be mean to others, and they are moments I don't like to think about too often.

This is pretty much me as well.

However, to be a deliberate ass-hat? Not too sure too be honest...
Derogatory and sarcastic comments? Constant swearing and personal insults?

/shrug

 

[NeonZombie]

Yesterday i ruined toy story 3 telling everyone that

Spoiler

woody dies

 

[Daveman]

I don't know Dickhead, it tends to come quite naturally to me.

^ intended as joke, you silly bastard.

ACTUALLY I have a decent response. You already are a jerk. You think you are nice and other people are jerks and you think you are incapable of being like them. You think you are better than them and that my friend is the fundamentals of jerkhood.

That's how I figured out I'm not a nice person. It's such a relief.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

Being a jerk is usually a rejection of established social conventions:

Normal Person - Jerk

Be polite to strangers - Fuck them, they're strangers, you'll probably never meet them again.

Not everyone acts the way you do, but that's okay because we're all different - You're doing it wrong! What's the matter with you?

Try to make a good impression - I really don't give a fuck what you think.

etc etc etc

 

[Kyber]

dunno, im just and asshole and i wouldnt love me any other way ^^

 

[Tdc2182]

The only time I am close to being a douche is when I pretend I am in 7th grade when people ask me if I am in 7th grade. (GT is Awesom7thgrader, inside joke) I tell them I am not that good, and admit to everything when someone is trying to troll. Honestly, when people start calling you a fag just say that you are. Constantly agree with them, it pisses people off so much.

Other than that, I am a very nice guy. Well... except to my friends sometimes. But they are much bigger assholes. Its all good love though.

 

[Jezzascmezza]

Just disagree with anything anyone says and kick puppies.

 

[DigitalSushi]

edit messed up

I GET IT !!^_^

Convince yourself that you are hilarious.

Then try and prove it to the world (as we all shrug, sigh and carry on regardless).

why, I do believe you win ^_^

That made me giggle, I've spent 5 minutes talking to myself replacing greatness with random words.

"Some are born Pornstars, some achieve Pornstarness, some have Pornstarness thrust upon them."
uhhh err misses!

too...
many...
dirty...
[HEADING=1]JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKEEESS[/HEADING]

"Some are born Jet Engines, some achieve Jet Engineness, some have Jet Engines thrust upon them."

Get it? Jet thrust!?

 

[Mr Balls]

Uuhh it's pretty obvious how to be a jerk. Everyone has done at least one jerky thing in their life. To say otherwise is lying, thus making you seem like a jerk. Even now, you seem like a jerk by posting this topic and telling everyone how nice you are. You seem to act as if you are better than everyone else in stating you havent done anything jerkish; and you also seem to be trying to back up your rediculous comment by asking what consists of jerkitude.

I never said I haven't done a jerky thing in my life. I was saying that I'm nice and that people have taken advantage of it. hence cripplingly nice. and when did I say I was better than anyone else? I also said that I have never been able to be a jerk and nor do I want to be. And I was only asking because I wanted to know people's opinions on what it takes to be a jerk. You should read what is written before you comment.

 

[Popadomus Ohio]

be pretencious and snobby, like some of the pricks who go to the six form i'm at. if you want to really grnd peoples gears, condescend them and be arrogant about everything. you'll be hated in no time.

 

[Jackalb]

Easily.