How do you deal with loneliness?

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Julianking93

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May 16, 2009
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Um...videogames seem to help.

Plus, I'm pretty use to it so it doesn't affect me as much as it did.
 

gl1koz3

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May 24, 2010
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I research ways you can get not so lonely. Internet is a powerful tool.

I suggest you find some social places... work you enjoy, perhaps? I'm not that much into clubbing and shit, so it works best for me. Make sure you do responsible work and act with infinite confidence. Doing so in games works too. Attracts people.

P.S.
Don't forget about taking risk.
 

ClunkiestTurtle

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Feb 19, 2010
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Sark said:
At the moment I feel completely alone, despite the fact that I have three family members around the home, I have friends that I am speaking with currently and all that jazz that makes up social interaction.

Usually, to curb this feeling, I immerse myself in games for a few hours, and that turns the trick. Even repetitive grinding in MMO's distracts me from the fact that I never really feel fulfilled socially.

Everyone gets lonely. What do you do to make yourself feel less dead inside?
Yeh im pretty much in the same boat at the moment.

I lost my job like 2 months ago and theres not a lot of decent work in this town so still looking. Me and my girlfriend of 3 years decided it was time to go our separate ways nearly a month ago and i have a non speaking relationship with my whole family and my friends have all moved away to study or i have lost touch with the ones who didn't so i literally wake up with nothing to do and no one to talk to everyday. I have lost my interest in games almost completely and its hard to find anything that makes the time pass easier.

Being alone isn't a bad thing, when you are often surrounded by people then it is good to be alone at times but when you are alone all the time then it does become a very bad thing.

This is probably the loneliest i have ever been having literally no one and it does get you down and its easy to fall into a vicious cycle of isolation,so the only thing you can do is try to break the cycle. For me i have tried to contact school friends from waaay back to see if they want to catch up and see if theres a friendship there to be picked up. Also i renewed my passport and im thinking about just going somewhere on holiday, or even moving to another part of the country or abroad. As well i try and get out of the house as much as possible. I play basketball and just go to the courts near where i live and play for a while and see if anyone turns up and just start chatting to them.

To get out of the cycle of staying in and not talking to anyone and feeling more and more alone and isolated you have to do something about it and you have to start looking for opportunities to meet people and do things you maybe wouldn't normally do to get your life back on track.

I don't think being on here talking about it much helps as yeh in the short term you have people to talk to but at the end of the day you're stuck inside, they aren't your friends and they don't really care.

So as someone in a similar situation thats what im telling you to do. look for clubs in your area or other groups doing activities in your area that interest you and sign up.

The only way this is going to get better is if you MAKE it happen, and if you meet new people and make new friends then they introduce you to their friends and it widens your social circle and opportunities that brings from "a friend of a friend heard about this" you never know you could meet a girl that way and to be honest i think having a partner is the number 1 cure for loneliness but even if you do all these things and it doesnt work out for you at least you would of been out of the house trying and having something to do.

If you just sit around feeling sorry for yourself and complaining about it (and i totally understand that is sometimes all you feel you can do and is the easy option) nothing will change and it will get worse. You only get one life and your responsible for it so just find the strength to pull yourself up dust yourself off and get back in the fight!
 

Nannernade

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May 18, 2009
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Ah really can't help you mate, I like to be alone most of the time, should keep an eye out for depression it seems like though.
 

Frankydee

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Mar 25, 2009
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Shit man I like being alone. Go do something with yourself. Go to a movie, buy yourself an ice cream, treat yourself to a steak and a brew. Get a hobby.

The way I deal though is just don't think about it.
 

GhostKnifeFish

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Aug 19, 2009
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Yeah, I know what you mean OP. I have good friends and everything, but still feel cripplingly unfufilled and lonely most of the time. Still, its not all bad. I enjoy games to get away from it all, but every now and then seeing the girl that broke my heart puts me on a downer.
 

WanderingFool

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Apr 9, 2009
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Bottle of Smirnoff Ice, fallowed by a quick game or two of MW2, that fixes the lonely feeling, and makes me hate people in general for atleast a day or so.
 

KindOfnElf

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Mar 15, 2010
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Depends on why exactly you feel lonely. Usually that's the absence of feeling loved by a particular person, or a lack of general attention on daily basis. You say you feel "dead inside" and those are scary words... If you find the real reason for it - you'll find the solution.
Oh, and are you sure you are not replacing boredom with loneliness? It's just a thought, I am probably wrong. Cause it's possible, when lack of inspiration occurs, and none of the everyday activities are satisfying to feel very empty on the inside and unfulfilled, and that is not related with general loneliness.

And yeah, when I feel alone I do what everyone does: games, books, friends and coffee, movies, music, or work more. The usual.
 

Marter

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Oct 27, 2009
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I don't deal with it, I accept it and move on. Being alone no longer really bothers me. There are only certain moments that it does, and those I end up just forgetting about it and move on with my day.

Being emotionally alone for a long time can make it a lot easier to deal with. Eventually, assuming you don't overcome it, it will no longer be a big deal to you, and you'll be able to continue on like it doesn't matter any more.
 

Monkfish Acc.

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May 7, 2008
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I don't get lonely.
In fact, when I AM around people, I tend to seperate myself off from them for reasons I cannot entirely comprehend.

Also, I think you may be mistaken as to what "dead inside" actually means.
It does not mean "really sad and emotional". In fact, it means pretty much the opposite.
How anyone could mix them up is beyond me.
 

_Cake_

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Apr 5, 2009
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1. Get impaired
2. Play Dragon Age or The Sims or Mass Effect (basically any game where you get layed, not deep but it works)
3. Jerk off
4. Watch or listen to comedy off the net
5. I know this is a crazy one(I sure wouldn't), but you could try asking someone cute out.
 

Xpwn3ntial

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Dec 22, 2008
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Sgt Doom said:
Dunno. Whatever coping mechanisms I use have become so ingrained in me over the years as to appear transparent when I analyse my own behaviours.
Awesome avatar.
OT: Every now and again I force myself outside and see who I run across. I don't need to though, I have my Sasha.
 

Shippy

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Apr 14, 2010
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the sad/awesome thing is that really is my bed... i collect dakimakura... i have like 20
 

Mon Ami

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Feb 29, 2008
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You push your focus away from yourself. Volunteering at a local shelter or food bank of some sort places your own problems into perspective. Not to mention it would force any type of moping out the window.
 

Flukey

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Feb 17, 2009
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I'm not really sure how to help here, but I'm going to post anyway... just to vent really. Apologies for the following rant on personal worries and issues, it's not interesting and like I said, posted more for my benefit than the sake of conversation.

Like a lot of people posting here, being alone never used to be a big problem to me. I liked having time to myself, away from people, with just a few close friends I would see at school and occasionally outside, but ever since I moved away to university it has been difficult... I went to a different university to anyone else I know, and every person I meet, even the ones on my course who I'd always assumed I'd at least have some common interests with considering we were doing the same course, only ever seem to be interested in going to clubs, getting drunk/high and trying to get off with other people... none of which appeals to me, so I made the fatal mistake of saying no whenever someone on my course or one of my flatmates (who were even harder for me to connect with) invited me to go out with them to a club or a bar or something... sure, it was almost guaranteed I wouldn't enjoy it, but it meant I had instantly put myself at a disadvantage when trying to socialise, but I didn't see that as a big deal as I've never been very social, but later came to realise the important difference between being alone, and being lonely. I always assumed I would just eventually meet someone and make a connection, and that would be that. I've just finished my second year of uni, and I have not met anyone I can call a 'friend'.

To make this clear, I won't say I have no friends, that would be an insult to the people in my life I love very much, but they have moved far away so the time I get with them is very limited, and we don't talk so much anymore. I do have a girlfriend, but there is only so much she can do to help, and can't be around all the time, so I have been left here on my own for the summer. There is little more lonely than seeing everyone else going out with their friends to the beach or the pub and having a good time whilst you're stuck indoors with nothing else to do.

I have tried many, many clubs and volunteered for many things throughout my life, but in the end I still find it difficult to connect with people. I don't know why, I just find I have little in common with other people, and when I talk to them most just give me a weird look and walk away as soon as they get the chance, and the more I ask myself why, the more I start to judge and second guess myself, trying to see myself through the eyes of others and figure out a way to be more appealing and friendly, but then I argue that if I do that (which doesn't succeed anyway) then I'm not being myself so any "friendship" would be false, and I don't really want that either. This also makes me suspect I might be going crazy... Probably not though, but I still can't answer why I seem so odd to people.

The biggest problem I'm having right now, since I'm literally on my own right now, my friends/girlfriend are either at home or at a different university, and anyone I try to talk to (via facebook, email and the like) at best still leaves me feeling the same and at worst completely ignores me, is that you seem to need people to meet people. If I was to go out on my own to somewhere where people go to socialise, say a pub, people would avoid me, as I would in their place. You see someone going in to a pub and having a drink on their own, and you probably don't consider striding up to them and starting up a conversation, and if they come over to you, you don't really want them joining in with whatever you might be doing... So I'm completely at a loss to what to do.

I guess my advice is learn from my mistakes, keep in contact with the friends you have and when someone invites you to somewhere you don't really want to go, you might want to consider it anyway. Who knows what might happen?
 

Ham_authority95

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Dec 8, 2009
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I usually have a wank or hang out with some friends or my brother.

If I'm tired, however, I just deal with it and enjoy it :D