Over a year ago (yes, it's been over a year!) A girl I was in love with stopped talking to me because I told her I loved her and she didn't love me. She pretty much destroyed me. It's been over a year and I still can't stop thinking about her. I can't date anyone because nobodies as perfect as she was and honestly it's really annoying me. How do I get over this girl? Cause time apart is just making things worse on me.
How do you get over someone?
- Thread starter shwnbob
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No you never will im afraid, its just one of those things that never really goes away, you just find ways of dealing with it, pasteing over the cracks as it were. Get a puppy, they love you unconditionaly and without question. And as a bonus they require walking and exersizing daily meaning you have to go out to the local park and meet other dog walkers (some of them can be quite atractive) and passing joggers, who, in my experiance, love to stop as you pass by and pet the "awwww so cuuuuute a puppy!!!"
Just hang in there buddy, there are over 7 billion people on the planet, none of them perfect but you will meet someone else who makes you feel good again.
Just hang in there buddy, there are over 7 billion people on the planet, none of them perfect but you will meet someone else who makes you feel good again.
Happened to me too.shwnbob said:
A year and a half it took.
It just happens. If you don't find anybody that you like more, it just takes time.
Force yourself not to care. Get rid of all those reminders of her. Don't talk to her. I'm not saying to be an ass to her, just don't show interest. If you can fake it to the world that you don't like her, then you can fake it to yourself.
Eventually you won't care anymore.
Happened in a much shorter time for me. But I guess that's dependent on specifics of the situation.
Time is your best friend. You will need that, no matter what else you use to help you. Fall back on your friends, start doing things for yourself more, get out a bit. Do small things different, see how that changes things for you in the long run.
Time is your best friend. You will need that, no matter what else you use to help you. Fall back on your friends, start doing things for yourself more, get out a bit. Do small things different, see how that changes things for you in the long run.
Hmm, tell yourself "I am content with my relationship status" a couple times each day. Try to beleive these words. It won't cause an immediate change, but over time you will convince yourself that you are content, and slowly but surely drive it into the back of your head.
You can't get rid of it, but you can find ways to work with the situation, and, note I use this term lightly, "cope" with it.
You can't get rid of it, but you can find ways to work with the situation, and, note I use this term lightly, "cope" with it.
Oh, god, things like this always tear me up to listen to, because it's people willingly destroying themselves over something that's ultimately not a huge deal.
I'm gonna guess right off that bat that you're on the younger side of things, about mid/early teens.
I'm gonna tell you something that you'll need to be able to remember for the next few decades, "She doesn't matter", "there really are other fish in the sea".
Sure, now, she seems like she's the center of your little world, and that without her, things just stop spinning, but in a few years, your world is gonna become a solar system, and then it's gonna be a galaxy. and when you've stepped back enough, you'll realize that while important, she wasn't the be all end all.
let your time with her influence you, but don't let it define you.
I'm gonna guess right off that bat that you're on the younger side of things, about mid/early teens.
I'm gonna tell you something that you'll need to be able to remember for the next few decades, "She doesn't matter", "there really are other fish in the sea".
Sure, now, she seems like she's the center of your little world, and that without her, things just stop spinning, but in a few years, your world is gonna become a solar system, and then it's gonna be a galaxy. and when you've stepped back enough, you'll realize that while important, she wasn't the be all end all.
let your time with her influence you, but don't let it define you.
First of all, she was not perfect. I do not even know the girl and I know this to be a fact.shwnbob said:
As soon as you understand this you are good to go
But honestly we men have a tendency to put girls on pedestals, and apparently they do not like this...
To keep it simple, no girl is perfect, you only think she is because you couldn't have her.
Best way to get over her is just start going out with other girls.
(Listen to me sounding all experienced... I am not though
)
They say time heals all wounds, but who can be bothered waiting an eternity?shwnbob said:
The best thing you can do about this is really talk to yourself, ask yourself deep searching questions not in a negative light, learn from whatever mistakes you feel you made, about your romantic timing, and don't always presume that it was your fault afterall, maybe this girl was just looking for an excuse, a fault or small thing which she could safely end the relationship on without looking bad.
Try to be honest with yourself about the girl aswell, whenever we fall for someone we tend to veiw them with rose tinted glasses, if the relationship never then progresses to being IN love with that person, then for one person those glasses might not come off, so try to remind yourself of any mis-leading signs she may have given, he conduct since the relationships end, and indeed (though doubtless other people have reminded you, it is the case and has to be said
there are other fish in the sea, some better than her in their ways, some worse, but never one the same...but you'll get nowhere if you don't cast your damn line!
some wounds not even time can heal. you're not going to get over her. but you can move on. first off, no one is perfect. just look for some girls that you're even a little interested in and maybe see if there's something there. don't get too attached to one girl, cause they're not all going to say yes. the biggest thing is that you need to learn that other girl, isn't the only one in the world. you may feel like she's the only one for you, but that feeling will pass if you just put yourself out there. if you can't find anyone you like, then what you need is a hobby. clearly she's still on your mind, so you need to get your mind on something else. it won't be quick, and you're gonna need to take baby steps with this. first make her less of something on your mind. then, bring a new person into the mix. it doesn't have to be someone you love or even really like. it could just be a friend that you care about. then, find someone you like. try hanging out with her, then ask her out on a date. take it slow, and don't get attached right away. give it a few before you let your guard down, and slowly let yourself fall in love. treat it like going into a cold pool, you go in slowly, then after you're fully in, move around a little, and soon it'll warm up. you'll still miss the other girl, but she'll be just a fond memory, instead of a haunting presence like she is now. good luck man, and i hope things work out for you
You'll get over her with time. That's a cliche for a reason.shwnbob said:
Focus on your own life, what you enjoy, who you enjoy spending time with (obviously aside from her), and not on what you wish could have happened between the two of you, or who she's with (and more importantly not with; you).
If you allow yourself to focus on what could have been, but isn't between the two of you, you'll struggle to actually move on. The more you think of what could've been, the more disappointed and frustrated you'll feel. The more disappointed and frustrated you feel, the more difficult it is to focus on the things you enjoy in your life, the harder it is to focus on those things, the less joy you'll find in 'em. It's all a vicious cycle, which you need to try and actively avoid from falling into.
Keep on with your Gamerscore, and getting live my friend.
Before you know it you'll be thinking of her less, and eventually you'll start noticing other girls. And soon enough, one of those girls will be looking back at you, at which point you'll completely forget about this girl.
I dated a friend for a while and after we broke up we never stopped hanging out. It was really tough getting over it.(because I always saw her)
Just don't stress about it, I always find that the more you try to force a problem away the bigger, and longer it stays. Don't be affriad to think about it, but don't dwell. All you gotta do is just go with the flow. When you start thinking about it, don't force another topic, but when another arises you will seemlessly change to the better topic.
Just don't stress about it, I always find that the more you try to force a problem away the bigger, and longer it stays. Don't be affriad to think about it, but don't dwell. All you gotta do is just go with the flow. When you start thinking about it, don't force another topic, but when another arises you will seemlessly change to the better topic.
How old are you? Because if you are in the high school, still living with parents stage in life, then patience is the only thing. Seriously, once you move out and go to Uni or get a job or whatever you will find that there are tons and tons of women out there. I know how you feel, I have been there, and the best thing for me was meeting someone else. And when that eventually happens, you will realize the silliness of everything before.shwnbob said:
Sincerely, GFTOW: Go Find (or whatever begins by the letter F) Ten Other Women. No woman is unique or special or star-crossed. They are all biologically made the same and make the same bodily functions.shwnbob said:
Might be hard, but the more you expose yourself to other women, the more it boosts your bruised ego and the faster you forget your limerence. Sure, you feel like crap now, but when you'll see other women getting interested in you, as you indulge in conversations and go out your mind will wander in someone else's rack pretty soon.
You said it yourself: She isn't interested in you, period. Take the hint and forget her. You've lost a whole year pining for a ghost, but it's not too late yet. The worst you can do is still pine over her and chase her hoping she'll change your mind. Trust me, she won't, and showing your neediness will only push her farther.
Well, this is suprising. I've practically had almost the same problem. I didn't tell her I loved her but I definatly felt like I had a strong connection with her. We started dating but she dumped me at the end of the week, which crushed me as I had never really been with anyone before and she just played me like a puppet.
I'm still friends with her now and yet I still can't help some of the feelings I still have for her. It's difficult when these keep coming up when you like someone else at the same time, I can't get rid of them.
I know your pain.
I'm still friends with her now and yet I still can't help some of the feelings I still have for her. It's difficult when these keep coming up when you like someone else at the same time, I can't get rid of them.
I know your pain.