How do you go about telling someone your feelings?

[BonsaiK]

When you feel strongly about someone, maybe you want to ask them out or just tell them how you feel, how do you go about it.

This isn't just the random "Hey you're hot, wanna go out?" kind of thing, I'm talking those people you've known for a while, who you've always liked but it took forever to work up the courage or come up with what to say just to let him or her know how you feel.

Because I want to tell someone, but am still trying to figure out how, where and when I should time it. Care to share any experiences, how well or not so well it went, what to maybe avoid as well, it'd be much appreciated.

This is probably the most commonly asked question out of all the ones in the Relationship Problem thread. Have a read through it (the link's in my profile), starting from the most recent post and working your way back, on each page you should be able to find replies to your question as well as related ones (how to tell if someone likes you, what to do about flirting, where to take someone on a date etc). If you then have more questions specific to your scenario that you'd like me to address, feel free to ask me more stuff in that thread.

 

[Sniperyeti]

6 shots of Jager - Girls
8 shots of Jager - Your Girl/Feelings
10 shots of Jager - Their Girl/Feelings
12+ shots of Jager - Get it all off your chest they won't remember it anyway

 

[newfoundsky]

When you feel strongly about someone, maybe you want to ask them out or just tell them how you feel, how do you go about it.

This isn't just the random "Hey you're hot, wanna go out?" kind of thing, I'm talking those people you've known for a while, who you've always liked but it took forever to work up the courage or come up with what to say just to let him or her know how you feel.

Because I want to tell someone, but am still trying to figure out how, where and when I should time it. Care to share any experiences, how well or not so well it went, what to maybe avoid as well, it'd be much appreciated.

Admitted it in a text message and reaffirmed it in person. Then kissed her, we dated a for a month, and she started dating a guy 300 miles away. I'm sorry, what?

 

[Jedoro]

I worked up the courage, got her alone, and asked her straight-up in person, no texting or email bullshit. I figure starting a relationship is too important to not do face-to-face.

 

[monkyvirus]

Well the one time I went straight for it the guy was like "no thanks" which was fine. However, he then announced I was a stalker to lots and lots of people and it went round the whole year suffice to say we stopped being friends

a better method is to get a mutual friend to test the water. Firstly you can deny any involvement if it's not good also you have two options 1) the friend can tell the girl you have a thing for her or, this one's less risky, 2) get your friend to ask who they like. Of course the girl might not spill but it's often a way to see how she feels without falling flat on your face.

 

[chozo_hybrid]

When you feel strongly about someone, maybe you want to ask them out or just tell them how you feel, how do you go about it.

This isn't just the random "Hey you're hot, wanna go out?" kind of thing, I'm talking those people you've known for a while, who you've always liked but it took forever to work up the courage or come up with what to say just to let him or her know how you feel.

Because I want to tell someone, but am still trying to figure out how, where and when I should time it. Care to share any experiences, how well or not so well it went, what to maybe avoid as well, it'd be much appreciated.

This is probably the most commonly asked question out of all the ones in the Relationship Problem thread. Have a read through it (the link's in my profile), starting from the most recent post and working your way back, on each page you should be able to find replies to your question as well as related ones (how to tell if someone likes you, what to do about flirting, where to take someone on a date etc). If you then have more questions specific to your scenario that you'd like me to address, feel free to ask me more stuff in that thread.

Thanks again for, I'll have a look through today. I asked you a while back if you thought it was advisable to ask her, so now I'm just figuring out how as I have sorted my life out since

 

[cuddly_tomato]

Easy;

"Am I pleased to see you or did I just put a canoe in my pocket?!"

 

[SCAFC Chimp]

Oh, I just take them hostage with a pistol. When she's sobbing, I fire it at her head. Instead of a bullet, it's one of those joke ones, with a flag that says "I love you" coming out. Shockingly, it's never worked before...

 

[swolf]

I've found that "Hey, I want to ask you about something" *go out of earshot but close enough so she doesn't feel uncomfortable* "Well, you probably know this already" (that works as a compliment without coming across as actually being a direct compliment which may make her feel that you're trying to butter her up) "but I'd like to get to know you better. Would you like to go on a date?" usually works.

Oh, also, make her laugh without trying too hard. If you aren't natural and relaxed, you'll scare her off...uh, so that's why they compare dating to fishing...hmm.

6 shots of Jager - Girls
8 shots of Jager - Your Girl/Feelings
10 shots of Jager - Their Girl/Feelings
12+ shots of Jager - Get it all off your chest they won't remember it anyway

Yeah, that makes them more relaxed but then you may have to worry about her filing rape charges if it goes to far. Just a thought.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

You don't, you bury your feelings until they come out in strange and interesting ways. The subsoquent eccentric behaviour is sure to attract a mate.

 

[Aur0ra145]

When you feel strongly about someone, maybe you want to ask them out or just tell them how you feel, how do you go about it.

This isn't just the random "Hey you're hot, wanna go out?" kind of thing, I'm talking those people you've known for a while, who you've always liked but it took forever to work up the courage or come up with what to say just to let him or her know how you feel.

Because I want to tell someone, but am still trying to figure out how, where and when I should time it. Care to share any experiences, how well or not so well it went, what to maybe avoid as well, it'd be much appreciated.

Protip: Don't talk about how you've been in terrible deep love with her.

If you haven't ever gone on a date with this girl, what makes you think that sitting them down and pouring your heart out to them will work? It doesn't. Ever. Infact it's border line creeper/stalker/stupid.

What should you do?

Ask them out on a date. Don't make any references about your deep love for them that you think about everyday.... Just see if they'd like to go see a movie with you.

Example: "Hey Susan, what's been going on?" :her reply: "Oh, that's really cool, so I wanted to go see the A-Team this weekend, would you like to go with me?"

Say they accept. At the end of the movie date, ask if they'd like to do it again? If they accept, keep this trend going for a while.

Example: "I had a lot of fun Susan, say we try this again sometime soon?"

I don't mean for two or three dates. I mean for several MONTHS. Maybe, in a few months you MIGHT end up with a girlfriend.

Then, if you're lucky enough to have said girl for a girlfriend for a while, THEN you could MAYBE mention to her how you feel about her.

The one thing women at young ages are afraid of, is being locked down and not being able to do anything or screw anybody they want. Attachments is not something someone under 25 is looking for, keep this in mind. You might think they are the ultimate mate for you, but I can guarantee that they don't feel the same way right now. (given a few months of dating, this MIGHT change.)

Oh, well I just checked your profile and saw that you're older than most of the people asking for relationship advice on this site. The above still goes, just play it smart, DON'T start spouting off about love and shit. Keep it casual for now, and you can escalate later.

 

[chozo_hybrid]

When you feel strongly about someone, maybe you want to ask them out or just tell them how you feel, how do you go about it.

This isn't just the random "Hey you're hot, wanna go out?" kind of thing, I'm talking those people you've known for a while, who you've always liked but it took forever to work up the courage or come up with what to say just to let him or her know how you feel.

Because I want to tell someone, but am still trying to figure out how, where and when I should time it. Care to share any experiences, how well or not so well it went, what to maybe avoid as well, it'd be much appreciated.

Protip: Don't talk about how you've been in terrible deep love with her.

If you haven't ever gone on a date with this girl, what makes you think that sitting them down and pouring your heart out to them will work? It doesn't. Ever. Infact it's border line creeper/stalker/stupid.

What should you do?

Ask them out on a date. Don't make any references about your deep love for them that you think about everyday.... Just see if they'd like to go see a movie with you.

Example: "Hey Susan, what's been going on?" :her reply: "Oh, that's really cool, so I wanted to go see the A-Team this weekend, would you like to go with me?"

Say they accept. At the end of the movie date, ask if they'd like to do it again? If they accept, keep this trend going for a while.

Example: "I had a lot of fun Susan, say we try this again sometime soon?"

I don't mean for two or three dates. I mean for several MONTHS. Maybe, in a few months you MIGHT end up with a girlfriend.

Then, if you're lucky enough to have said girl for a girlfriend for a while, THEN you could MAYBE mention to her how you feel about her.

The one thing women at young ages are afraid of, is being locked down and not being able to do anything or screw anybody they want. Attachments is not something someone under 25 is looking for, keep this in mind. You might think they are the ultimate mate for you, but I can guarantee that they don't feel the same way right now. (given a few months of dating, this MIGHT change.)

Oh, well I just checked your profile and saw that you're older than most of the people asking for relationship advice on this site. The above still goes, just play it smart, DON'T start spouting off about love and shit. Keep it casual for now, and you can escalate later.

I'm not going to delve into the whole "I loooove you." thing, I just wanna let her know I like her and ask her to something. I'm just crap when it comes to talking to women about this stuff, I've known her very well for over four years now, so I know what she's into and what not.

Thanks for the advice though, never hurts to be reminded of the basics.

 

[Aur0ra145]

When you feel strongly about someone, maybe you want to ask them out or just tell them how you feel, how do you go about it.

This isn't just the random "Hey you're hot, wanna go out?" kind of thing, I'm talking those people you've known for a while, who you've always liked but it took forever to work up the courage or come up with what to say just to let him or her know how you feel.

Because I want to tell someone, but am still trying to figure out how, where and when I should time it. Care to share any experiences, how well or not so well it went, what to maybe avoid as well, it'd be much appreciated.

Protip: Don't talk about how you've been in terrible deep love with her.

If you haven't ever gone on a date with this girl, what makes you think that sitting them down and pouring your heart out to them will work? It doesn't. Ever. Infact it's border line creeper/stalker/stupid.

What should you do?

Ask them out on a date. Don't make any references about your deep love for them that you think about everyday.... Just see if they'd like to go see a movie with you.

Example: "Hey Susan, what's been going on?" :her reply: "Oh, that's really cool, so I wanted to go see the A-Team this weekend, would you like to go with me?"

Say they accept. At the end of the movie date, ask if they'd like to do it again? If they accept, keep this trend going for a while.

Example: "I had a lot of fun Susan, say we try this again sometime soon?"

I don't mean for two or three dates. I mean for several MONTHS. Maybe, in a few months you MIGHT end up with a girlfriend.

Then, if you're lucky enough to have said girl for a girlfriend for a while, THEN you could MAYBE mention to her how you feel about her.

The one thing women at young ages are afraid of, is being locked down and not being able to do anything or screw anybody they want. Attachments is not something someone under 25 is looking for, keep this in mind. You might think they are the ultimate mate for you, but I can guarantee that they don't feel the same way right now. (given a few months of dating, this MIGHT change.)

Oh, well I just checked your profile and saw that you're older than most of the people asking for relationship advice on this site. The above still goes, just play it smart, DON'T start spouting off about love and shit. Keep it casual for now, and you can escalate later.

I'm not going to delve into the whole "I loooove you." thing, I just wanna let her know I like her and ask her to something. I'm just crap when it comes to talking to women about this stuff, I've known her very well for over four years now, so I know what she's into and what not.

Thanks for the advice though, never hurts to be reminded of the basics.

You've known her for that long? Cool.

Here's what to say, "Susan, you want to go on a date? I was thinking we could go play minigolf on Friday, sound like something you'd like to do, or are you busy?"

This works for a few reasons. A: Not very intrusive. B: Gives her a way out without flat out turning you down. C: Who the heck doesn't like minigolf?

 

[chozo_hybrid]

When you feel strongly about someone, maybe you want to ask them out or just tell them how you feel, how do you go about it.

This isn't just the random "Hey you're hot, wanna go out?" kind of thing, I'm talking those people you've known for a while, who you've always liked but it took forever to work up the courage or come up with what to say just to let him or her know how you feel.

Because I want to tell someone, but am still trying to figure out how, where and when I should time it. Care to share any experiences, how well or not so well it went, what to maybe avoid as well, it'd be much appreciated.

Protip: Don't talk about how you've been in terrible deep love with her.

If you haven't ever gone on a date with this girl, what makes you think that sitting them down and pouring your heart out to them will work? It doesn't. Ever. Infact it's border line creeper/stalker/stupid.

What should you do?

Ask them out on a date. Don't make any references about your deep love for them that you think about everyday.... Just see if they'd like to go see a movie with you.

Example: "Hey Susan, what's been going on?" :her reply: "Oh, that's really cool, so I wanted to go see the A-Team this weekend, would you like to go with me?"

Say they accept. At the end of the movie date, ask if they'd like to do it again? If they accept, keep this trend going for a while.

Example: "I had a lot of fun Susan, say we try this again sometime soon?"

I don't mean for two or three dates. I mean for several MONTHS. Maybe, in a few months you MIGHT end up with a girlfriend.

Then, if you're lucky enough to have said girl for a girlfriend for a while, THEN you could MAYBE mention to her how you feel about her.

The one thing women at young ages are afraid of, is being locked down and not being able to do anything or screw anybody they want. Attachments is not something someone under 25 is looking for, keep this in mind. You might think they are the ultimate mate for you, but I can guarantee that they don't feel the same way right now. (given a few months of dating, this MIGHT change.)

Oh, well I just checked your profile and saw that you're older than most of the people asking for relationship advice on this site. The above still goes, just play it smart, DON'T start spouting off about love and shit. Keep it casual for now, and you can escalate later.

I'm not going to delve into the whole "I loooove you." thing, I just wanna let her know I like her and ask her to something. I'm just crap when it comes to talking to women about this stuff, I've known her very well for over four years now, so I know what she's into and what not.

Thanks for the advice though, never hurts to be reminded of the basics.

You've known her for that long? Cool.

Here's what to say, "Susan, you want to go on a date? I was thinking we could go play minigolf on Friday, sound like something you'd like to do, or are you busy?"

This works for a few reasons. A: Not very intrusive. B: Gives her a way out without flat out turning you down. C: Who the heck doesn't like minigolf?

Yeah, I only try to go out with people I have known at least a little bit. Otherwise you may turn out to regret it, so I think it helps if you know em.

We don't have minigolf in this city, so I'll have to find something equally fun/awesome, but I may try that. Thanks for your help

 

[tahrey]

bit of dog poo on the end of a stick, and dab it in her hair? never fails.

Wow. Keeping it classy there....

Heck, and I don't even live in San Diego...
Serious answer to be given when I figure it out, because I wouldn't trust me to give relationship advice. I'd have to ask my bro, the story behind how he and his GF got together must need some serious telling and probably has lessons for us all.

 

[SeriousSquirrel]

I don't, because I'm really shy. Cripplingly shy, but if the right girl came along I'd do it.

Personnaly, I'd find a good spot where we could speak in private (not neccasarily like a secluded area, but like a cafe or something) and tell her. But, that would be after we had gone out a few times, just the two of us

 

[The Warden]

Never, EVER write poetry.

Poetry sucks regardless of whether or not it's about love.
OT: Say "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go to ___ this ___?"
Bam.

 

[Abanic]

You've got to remove that person from the normal situation. If you usually see each other at the office, school, haunted graveyard, wherever, you need to ask to meet somewhere innocuous (meal, coffee, tea, Wal-Mart). This is NOT a date, you need to have that solid in your mind you just want to talk.
So, you get to a coffee shop, Denny's, pornographic bookstore, wherever, and you begin a conversation about real life. What THEY'RE into, where THEY grew up, THEIR family, THEM, THEM, THEM. Hope they're not a complete slug-for-brains or a shallow pimple who really does think the world revolves around them. If they aren't then they'll eventually ask you either: 1)why are you so interested; or 2) what you're into. THIS is the time to be honest.
You tell them what you're thinking so you're trying to learn something about who they are, where they're from, what their blood type is, whether they're part of TEAM:JACOB or EDWARD, whatever. Stay positive, be fun, be an active listener, and have a sense of humor.

Good Luck