How do you masticate?

[V8 Ninja]

I have a feeling that this thread was solely made to mess with people...

Slightly More OT: I am a surprisingly fast eater. As long as I'm fine with the taste, I chow down on whatever happens to be on my plate.

 

[FalloutJack]

How do you masticate?

With my teeth, of course.

Am I but one among many who don't pay much attention to mastication here? Honestly, I don't think much on it.

 

[Tiger Sora]

I know I eat very fast, but always with my mouth closed. If it's something thats really good I want to savor I'll slow down, but mostly I don't. I just want to get back to whatever I was doing. I've been told by my brothers I don't breath when eating hamburgers. I just devour it, than breath. I laugh.
As for noise I'm damn quiet, unless it's like chips (a rarity for me now), but they're loud foods. And not to much you can do.

 

[Kanova]

I feel as though this is a thread that is trying to be sexual. But anyways, I chew with the right side of my mouth, closed of course as open is what gross people do. Only think loud that I eat is those loud cereals, Vector and stuff.

 

[SnakeoilSage]

I once knew a guy who would chew, breathe, talk and smoke all at the same time. Somehow. He was trying to convince me how sad it was that I was still living with my folks when I was eighteen, and he'd walked out on his parents at fourteen.

"Look at me now," he seemed to be boasting. And I gotta admit, for a hobo, he was pretty Hollywood.

 

[KapnKerfuffle]

Sometimes I masticate too quickly and bite the side of my mouth. I hate when I do that.

 

[Random Fella]

I do it in my mouth.
Oh you mean Masticating
same thing

 

[Okysho]

Frequently and with much vigour.

That applies to another awesome thing too.

Like mansurating!! I use extreme vigour when mixing chocolate powder!! (mansurate... to dissolve)

OT: I never actually bothered to think about the way I chew.... go figure...

 

[Jegsimmons]

About as hard and fast as i masturbate.

Does that answer your question?

 

[WanderingFool]

Hey now, this is not the place for that kind of discu...

Oh, well, fool on me for misreading...

I once knew a guy who would chew, breathe, talk and smoke all at the same time. Somehow. He was trying to convince me how sad it was that I was still living with my folks when I was eighteen, and he'd walked out on his parents at fourteen.

"Look at me now," he seemed to be boasting. And I gotta admit, for a hobo, he was pretty Hollywood.

Hollywood how? Like as you see in the movies? or as they actually live in Hollywood... which is probably the same, come to think of it.

 

[2733]

I masticate much too quickly, and quite poorly. I often finished without masticating properly.

 

[Jodah]

Well first I get a box of tissues, then I turn on my computer and...

Oh, masticating! I thought you were talking about something else ¬_¬

I chew pretty quitely and with my mouth closed. I hate it when people are really loud and with their mouth open. It's horrible >_<

This. Open mouth chewers should be beaten with a rubber hose!

 

[Laser Priest]

Ha. It sounds like masturbate.

But I don't. I feed off of the misery of others.

 

[Odbarc]

My family has this tendency to eat with their mouths open and suck their food at the same time, somehow.
It's almost like they're fellating their food. And of course they talk while they eat... well, by talk I mean they scream and yell therefore spit their food in each others faces.

And then because my forearms are actually guarding my plate from the fuming debris, they all have to notice my ELBOWS ARE ON TEH TABLE and that's just a no-no! So, I get in trouble because I eat my food like a civilized man. I even poke my cooked food with the pointy silver objects next to my plate.

 

[lacktheknack]

I've trained myself over time to keep my mouth closed and make as little noise as possible when masticating. Mastication is something that everyone does, and it's totally okay, but it's definitely not socially acceptable to loudly masticate right in front of people.

That's mannerly and thoughtful, though I prefer to do it loudly in front of groups of people instead of quietly. I guesss you can call it a beautiful habit.

Well, if you're in a REALLY public place like a mall food court, you can masticate freely and chances are everyone else is too pre-occupied with what they're doing to even notice your display of public mastication.

Heh. If you're friendly and bold enough, you can get a random stranger to masticate with you in a mall food court. I should know, I do it often. Police were only called once.

 

[EdwardOrchard]

I counted 17 blatantly obvious masturbation jokes in the 39 posts above this one.

You should be ashamed of yourselves. You know who you are.

Subtlety, people...

 

[Lunar Templar]

usually in my room, alone in front of the computer and quietly

*looks up 'masticate'* oh ......

same answer

 

[algalon]

I always masticate quietly - I don't enjoy stares while I masticate. Usually I masticate using my right. But occasionally I like to swap and use my left.

 

[Pharsalus]

In a properly orderly fashion, unless barbeque is involved, then things get messy.

 

[scorptatious]

At first I thought this was a typo for masturbate. As I've honestly never heard of the word "masticate". Thank goodness I decided to look up the definition for the word as otherwise I might have said something very awkward.

Anywho, I tend to "masticate" with my mouth closed. No one wants to see me "masticate" my food with my mouth open. At least that's what I was taught in my childhood.

Like so.
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I can't help but laugh every time I see that in one of the NC's reviews.