How do you masticate?

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

I have a feeling that this thread was solely made to mess with people...

Just a feeling eh?

Oh, and any of the people earnestly telling the OP they should've used the word "chew" have completely missed the point.

Sadly by being annoyed at the usual attempts to destroy amusement I have forfeited joining in without looking very obvious.

 

[DanielBrown]

First I find something intresting to watch meanwhile, and then I bring some tissues in case I'd spill some.
When I eat spaghetti it's like a tornado in the house!

OT: Like a tornado!

I approve of this thread.

 

[Tory Alexander]

well i will either bite or cut off a chunk of my food small enough to just give a single nom then swallow

 

[BishopofAges]

Depends, if it is a special occation or formal event I am polite and neat about it. If I am by myself at my home with not a care in the world, it could get fun!

Honestly, I am a fool for addons and toppings to make things extra special or just damn tasty or even dips!

 

[ImperialSunlight]

I always use a liquid to prevent the mastication process from becoming uncomfortable. It aids in the flow of substance.

 

[DestinyCall]

ceiling cat is watching you masticate!

 

[Twilight_guy]

With my mouth closed. Chewing with your moth open is rude and disgusting.

Also, ha ha, masticate sounds like masturbate and masturbate is funny because its about sexual pleasure. You have the maturity of a jr high school student.

 

[kouriichi]

My wife hates it when i masticate, so i do it in front of her on purpose
And then we go to see her parents, and i do it as loud as possible at the table till they ask me to stop.

Then i stare them in the eyes and finish masticating. Like a boss.

Gotta make sure to breath like your having a heart attack. Pant even for maximum effect.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Couldn't you use the word chew? I haven't heard of that word until now when I look it up!

OT- Pretty much quietly and fast while chewing it properly.

Ah, Scarim...

Spoiler

As for myself, I usually masticate pretty quickly so I can get onto more important things.

 

[LarenzoAOG]

How much noise do you make? Do you keep your mouth open? I masticate sometimes slowly, but usually fast so I can get it done and over with. Usually, I masticate like a cow, loud and with my mouth open. So what about you, Escapist, how how do you masticate?

With my teeth, often red meat is involved, I've been known to use a fork and knife, or even my hands to help facilitate mastication, I often put ketchup or bbq sauce on the things I masticate.

 

[roostuf]

i do it quietly and with my mouth closed.

 

[Cole257]

Oh look masturbation jokes, how amusing and totally surprising.

oh sarcasm, how new and original...

 

[TorqueConverter]

Well first I get a box of tissues, then I turn on my computer and...

Oh, masticating! I thought you were talking about something else ¬_¬

I chew pretty quitely and with my mouth closed. I hate it when people are really loud and with their mouth open. It's horrible >_<

OOOOHHHH!!!! "masticating" is fancy talk for chewing with your mouth open like you just arose, knuckles dragging, from the primordial soup.

Yeah, I don't that. Who does that?

 

[Alcamonic]

Always chew with my mouth closed, anything else is incredibly rude and uncivilised.
The noise I make is depending on how much I need to grind the food down for swallowing.

And I learnt a new word today! Masticate. Always thought of the process as just "eating".

 

[Duruznik]

I always masticate very messily. I always get some on the floor and on my clothes.

 

[Faulty Turmoil]

It seems that no matter what I do to masticate quietly everyone near me complains how loud I am.
Well I'm sorry okay, but I just don't know how you do it.
Whenever I try I end up doing it so slowly that it becomes pointless. And when I don't think about it, there they are complaining about the noise.

I keep my mouth shut and everything but I can't help it. I swear some people have sound proof cheeks... Say, that's a pretty good idea...

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Slowly so as to fully savor the experience. I love mastication, especially when it's to something really hot and, juicy...or sweet and savory. Hell, I would even masticate to something particularly spicy. I think I'll be masticating in a relatively short time actually...hell, I could be doing it now...

 

[imnot]

Trollestia strikes again!

I masticate as quietly as I can because eating is one of my least favourite noices!

 

[JemothSkarii]

Should we be talking about this!? Especially on the internet?
...Well...I generally do it quietly at my own pace....I...also like to go out into the back yard and masticate with my dog as well...It's nice to have company when you do something like that...specially if something delicious is involved.