Doesn't necessarily sound bad. The true test of whether or not a story is good is in its telling, I think.
I should have elaborated. I posted this wen I was close to falling asleep. The mage sent away had spent his entire time in the place to learn the signs of the Archsage's appearance, how to train him in the basics...this is just a rough concept that I'm going to be constantly tweaking.xRagnarok19 said:So they take some random mage and send him away on a mission to find the next ruler of the mages?
Oh yeah and don't copy Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Not lying here, never read/watched a single one of his books, and I have never played a Bioware game.Woodsey said:Honestly?
I've seen threads with the exact same purpose, and every snippet of story they give is indistinguishable to the next one I read. This being no exception.
If you must write about fantasy, take into account the amount of lore Tolkien had to build when he wrote his books, and the more recent example of Bioware spending something like 3 years solely on the lore of Dragon Age: Origins.
Also, it sounds like you've watched/read LotR, played Dragon Age and thought: "yeah, I can copy these".
This is the exact kind of response I wanted. Keep in mind I threw that description together when I was close to falling asleep, so I threw together just a few quick details. Looking at it now, that little snippet is pathetic, but it's just a rough start for me to tweak.yanipheonu said:I'm going to be brutally honest.
If I saw that description on the back of a book in a store, I would put it back on the shelf immediately, possibly with some sneering. Sounds way too generic.
Again, not trying to hurt feelings, I'm just being honest.
But hey, it could work if you do it right.
Ignoring the fact that "Majyk" is still pronounced the same, and that all other dialogue you'll write in English anyway.InnerRebellion said:For decades, he waits fro the right child to show signs of being able to control the seven Majyk (yes, I'm calling magic "Majyk", partly because it's a different world, and they, in their world, do not speak English).
This is purely my curiousity for how much you've thought about this: how do you imagine he will know that he's the "right child"?InnerRebellion said:After close to 50 years, he finds the right child, and tries to train him,
Ugh, this sounds so cliché, I'm sorry. A guy who has hidden powers lurking within him, but isn't emotionally and/or physically that fitting for them?InnerRebellion said:...but the young boy is in a gang, and starts using his magic to kill and steal.
Each book? What are these books supposed to be? Novelettes? Novellas? Novels?InnerRebellion said:After his best friend is killed by a spell backfiring, he enters serious training, and the series eventually branches off into each book being about him learning a new type of Majyk, with the final book being about him storming the castle to rid it of the Willed.
For the majyk thing, I'm working on a whole new word. Finding the right child is what the mage was trained for his entire life, so he knows the signs to look for. The gang thing I've decided to change, but to what I haven't decided, and I'm torn between having either a long book, or books around 150-200 pages.Fraught said:Ignoring the fact that "Majyk" is still pronounced the same, and that all other dialogue you'll write in English anyway.InnerRebellion said:For decades, he waits fro the right child to show signs of being able to control the seven Majyk (yes, I'm calling magic "Majyk", partly because it's a different world, and they, in their world, do not speak English).
This is purely my curiousity for how much you've thought about this: how do you imagine he will know that he's the "right child"?InnerRebellion said:After close to 50 years, he finds the right child, and tries to train him,
Ugh, this sounds so cliché, I'm sorry. A guy who has hidden powers lurking within him, but isn't emotionally and/or physically that fitting for them?InnerRebellion said:...but the young boy is in a gang, and starts using his magic to kill and steal.
Each book? What are these books supposed to be? Novelettes? Novellas? Novels?InnerRebellion said:After his best friend is killed by a spell backfiring, he enters serious training, and the series eventually branches off into each book being about him learning a new type of Majyk, with the final book being about him storming the castle to rid it of the Willed.
Either way, "learning a new type of Majyk" isn't exactly the best premise for a book. Learning all those types of Majyk seems more like something that'd be better fit into one, long book, without too much boring detail.
The neat alliteration of Seven Sages is kind of ruined by the fact that you list 8 magics.InnerRebellion said:These mages all desired to become one of the seven Sages, who are the most powerful mages in the world, each one a master in a certain type of magic (Holy, Demonic, Fire, Ice, Wind, Lightning, Earth and the ability to bend reality [haven't come up with a name for it yet]).
Yeah, yeah, whatever. I was just thinking whether you've even thought anything of exactly how he does that. You have to somehow describe what and how he sees something in him. Just saying "all the training he got enabled him to see the greatness in him blah-blah-blah" is kind of a cop out.InnerRebellion said:Finding the right child is what the mage was trained for his entire life, so he knows the signs to look for.
Now that you mention it, I'm going to spend a lot of time working on how exactly he does find the right person.Fraught said:Yeah, yeah, whatever. I was just thinking whether you've even thought anything of exactly how he does that. You have to somehow describe what and how he sees something in him. Just saying "all the training he got enabled him to see the greatness in him blah-blah-blah" is kind of a cop out.InnerRebellion said:Finding the right child is what the mage was trained for his entire life, so he knows the signs to look for.
The eighth one is meant to be specific to the Archsage. I'm going to fill a few notebooks with just notes on the story because of this thread.OurGloriousLeader said:Despite you saying there are seven sages, you detailed eight magical 'styles'. May want to explain that.
Other than, no it's not original, but no fantasy book these days ever is. What distinguishes a fantasy book is the quality of writing and likeable, realistic characters. If you can do that, then the plot and setting will grab me.