How is this concept?

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InnerRebellion

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xRagnarok19 said:
So they take some random mage and send him away on a mission to find the next ruler of the mages?
Oh yeah and don't copy Avatar: The Last Airbender.
I should have elaborated. I posted this wen I was close to falling asleep. The mage sent away had spent his entire time in the place to learn the signs of the Archsage's appearance, how to train him in the basics...this is just a rough concept that I'm going to be constantly tweaking.
Woodsey said:
Honestly?

I've seen threads with the exact same purpose, and every snippet of story they give is indistinguishable to the next one I read. This being no exception.

If you must write about fantasy, take into account the amount of lore Tolkien had to build when he wrote his books, and the more recent example of Bioware spending something like 3 years solely on the lore of Dragon Age: Origins.

Also, it sounds like you've watched/read LotR, played Dragon Age and thought: "yeah, I can copy these".
Not lying here, never read/watched a single one of his books, and I have never played a Bioware game.
yanipheonu said:
I'm going to be brutally honest.

If I saw that description on the back of a book in a store, I would put it back on the shelf immediately, possibly with some sneering. Sounds way too generic.

Again, not trying to hurt feelings, I'm just being honest.
But hey, it could work if you do it right.
This is the exact kind of response I wanted. Keep in mind I threw that description together when I was close to falling asleep, so I threw together just a few quick details. Looking at it now, that little snippet is pathetic, but it's just a rough start for me to tweak.
 

monstersquad

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It's an interesting concept, but it needs a LOT more work. I see the resemblance to Avatar, but what stands out for me is the resemblance of the kid to Anakin Skywalker, which is intriguing.
I write myself, and sometimes an idea needs to be put aside for a bit, and notes need to be written and reflected on before any serious narrative writing starts. I personally have story going that is ONLY notes, 3 notebooks worth. I don't intend to actually start writing it until I gain bit more life experience, maybe after age 30.

P.S. calling it Magyk is SUPER cliched. Call it something else entirely. Research other words for magic/sorcery and adapt a term to your own liking.
 

Fraught

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InnerRebellion said:
For decades, he waits fro the right child to show signs of being able to control the seven Majyk (yes, I'm calling magic "Majyk", partly because it's a different world, and they, in their world, do not speak English).
Ignoring the fact that "Majyk" is still pronounced the same, and that all other dialogue you'll write in English anyway.

InnerRebellion said:
After close to 50 years, he finds the right child, and tries to train him,
This is purely my curiousity for how much you've thought about this: how do you imagine he will know that he's the "right child"?

InnerRebellion said:
...but the young boy is in a gang, and starts using his magic to kill and steal.
Ugh, this sounds so cliché, I'm sorry. A guy who has hidden powers lurking within him, but isn't emotionally and/or physically that fitting for them?

InnerRebellion said:
After his best friend is killed by a spell backfiring, he enters serious training, and the series eventually branches off into each book being about him learning a new type of Majyk, with the final book being about him storming the castle to rid it of the Willed.
Each book? What are these books supposed to be? Novelettes? Novellas? Novels?

Either way, "learning a new type of Majyk" isn't exactly the best premise for a book. Learning all those types of Majyk seems more like something that'd be better fit into one, long book, without too much boring detail.
 

Valksy

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Honestly, it doesn't sound that original.

But you know what? If you are having fun writing then go ahead and keep on writing. Writing for your own pleasure is fine. But I am not certain that I would encourage you to seek an audience with every idea that you have.
 

the Dept of Science

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Are you really going to make the first major thing you write a 7 book epic?

Also, there should be no alternate spellings of things. If your name is Frank Herbert, JRR Tolkein or Anthony Burgess, you are allowed to create your own little language for your world, but don't just stick in an alternative spelling of magic to be different.
 

swolf

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Forget being original, it's practically impossible now a days. The best way to be original is adding your own flavor to stories. It sounds intriguing to me (which is saying something since I normally don't read much sci-fi / fantasy). Keep at it with the intent of telling the story your way, don't try with the sole goal of making a lot of $ off it because (my understanding) that is REALLY hard to do.
 

InnerRebellion

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Fraught said:
InnerRebellion said:
For decades, he waits fro the right child to show signs of being able to control the seven Majyk (yes, I'm calling magic "Majyk", partly because it's a different world, and they, in their world, do not speak English).
Ignoring the fact that "Majyk" is still pronounced the same, and that all other dialogue you'll write in English anyway.

InnerRebellion said:
After close to 50 years, he finds the right child, and tries to train him,
This is purely my curiousity for how much you've thought about this: how do you imagine he will know that he's the "right child"?

InnerRebellion said:
...but the young boy is in a gang, and starts using his magic to kill and steal.
Ugh, this sounds so cliché, I'm sorry. A guy who has hidden powers lurking within him, but isn't emotionally and/or physically that fitting for them?

InnerRebellion said:
After his best friend is killed by a spell backfiring, he enters serious training, and the series eventually branches off into each book being about him learning a new type of Majyk, with the final book being about him storming the castle to rid it of the Willed.
Each book? What are these books supposed to be? Novelettes? Novellas? Novels?

Either way, "learning a new type of Majyk" isn't exactly the best premise for a book. Learning all those types of Majyk seems more like something that'd be better fit into one, long book, without too much boring detail.
For the majyk thing, I'm working on a whole new word. Finding the right child is what the mage was trained for his entire life, so he knows the signs to look for. The gang thing I've decided to change, but to what I haven't decided, and I'm torn between having either a long book, or books around 150-200 pages.
 

Sampsa

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More than a little generic, but good writing style and actual anti-hero lich protagonist could make this project distinguishable.
 

Willsor

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I'd make it someone more important than just the spell backfiring on his 'best friend'. If you want it to really affect people, you have to build the character up of who is going to be killed by the backfiring spell, then it would help the reader empathise with the boy more.
 

JaymesFogarty

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1. It sounds good. A few more twists to deviate it from the mainstream boring story could really see it liven up!
2. Come up with another word for magic, (fyure or something.) (Damn,ninja'd!)
3. If you're making seven books, keep them short, (1 or 2 hundred pages.) Maybe you could have the student learn 2 in the first book, two in the second, two in the third, and the final one before the siege. A quadrilogy, perhaps?
 

megalomania

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InnerRebellion said:
These mages all desired to become one of the seven Sages, who are the most powerful mages in the world, each one a master in a certain type of magic (Holy, Demonic, Fire, Ice, Wind, Lightning, Earth and the ability to bend reality [haven't come up with a name for it yet]).
The neat alliteration of Seven Sages is kind of ruined by the fact that you list 8 magics.

Sounds pretty standard fantasy, but if you write compellingly and develop characters that are not completely played out tropes (which will be hard because of the subject area) then it could be great!
 

Fraught

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InnerRebellion said:
Finding the right child is what the mage was trained for his entire life, so he knows the signs to look for.
Yeah, yeah, whatever. I was just thinking whether you've even thought anything of exactly how he does that. You have to somehow describe what and how he sees something in him. Just saying "all the training he got enabled him to see the greatness in him blah-blah-blah" is kind of a cop out.
 

InnerRebellion

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Fraught said:
InnerRebellion said:
Finding the right child is what the mage was trained for his entire life, so he knows the signs to look for.
Yeah, yeah, whatever. I was just thinking whether you've even thought anything of exactly how he does that. You have to somehow describe what and how he sees something in him. Just saying "all the training he got enabled him to see the greatness in him blah-blah-blah" is kind of a cop out.
Now that you mention it, I'm going to spend a lot of time working on how exactly he does find the right person.
 

OurGloriousLeader

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Despite you saying there are seven sages, you detailed eight magical 'styles'. May want to explain that.

Other than, no it's not original, but no fantasy book these days ever is. What distinguishes a fantasy book is the quality of writing and likeable, realistic characters. If you can do that, then the plot and setting will grab me.
 

InnerRebellion

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OurGloriousLeader said:
Despite you saying there are seven sages, you detailed eight magical 'styles'. May want to explain that.

Other than, no it's not original, but no fantasy book these days ever is. What distinguishes a fantasy book is the quality of writing and likeable, realistic characters. If you can do that, then the plot and setting will grab me.
The eighth one is meant to be specific to the Archsage. I'm going to fill a few notebooks with just notes on the story because of this thread.