How much to kill your beloved family pet?

[DudeistBelieve]

For the purpose of this scenario, assume you're not going to be screwed over.

You are out walking your beloved family pet that you've owned and raised for several years since it was a baby. You love it, it presumably loves you back. A limo pulls up next to you and out steps an eccentric and bitter old billionaire. He claims to be miserable and that the only thing he enjoys in life is bringing pain and misery to others.

He offers you a proposition. His man-servant Argyle (A Brock Lesnar size man, who is a former green beret blah blah blah, attempting to rob/kill the old man will result in you entering a world of pain.) opens a brief case in front of you, loaded with hundred dollar bills.

The man says the money is yours if you savagely beat your pet to death with a small wooden mallet. You also have the option of saying no, and going about your walk and the old man will go away never to bother you again.

Do you do it? How much are you willing to do it for?

Hell, I'll bold. I say I'd do it for no less then 1 Billion. If for no other reason then the mode of execution is a mallet, and I be afraid of over-perlonging my former pets pain and suffering. Changing the murder option to something quicker, like a bullet to a head, I think I come down to 2 million.

 

[Vault101]

oh boy this isnt fucked up in anyway

I dont have to answer due to the sheer absurditiy of the question

now for survival reasons?..mabye

 

[Hazy992]

The idea of killing one of my pets with a mallet is just... no

Fuck I need cheering up

 

[Revnak_v1legacy]

I definitely could use the money, and while I really like animals, I definitely don't value them like that. A million or so, probably ten plus unless they let me use something less crazy like a bag and a river, will be all that I will need to do this deed for him. I need to pay for school.

Spoiler: now if it was for magic powers...

 

[sunemipi]

I would probably counter-offer by agreeing to kill my neighbor's little rat-dog for no less than 14 million using the mallet or perhaps 5 million if he offers a quicker method of death. So long as the old man is able to appreciate someone's pain and suffering, who says it has to be mine?

 

[DudeistBelieve]

I would probably counter-offer by agreeing to kill my neighbor's little rat-dog for no less than 14 million using the mallet or perhaps 5 million if he offers a quicker method of death. So long as the old man is able to appreciate someone's pain and suffering, who says it has to be mine?

The idea is that the old man gets a sick kick out convincing people to sell out and murder something they care about, so that even when they receive their money they are infinitely sad that choose that path.

It's sorta like a really really dark Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase.

 

[sunemipi]

I would probably counter-offer by agreeing to kill my neighbor's little rat-dog for no less than 14 million using the mallet or perhaps 5 million if he offers a quicker method of death. So long as the old man is able to appreciate someone's pain and suffering, who says it has to be mine?

The idea is that the old man gets a sick kick out convincing people to sell out and murder something they care about, so that even when they receive their money they are infinitely sad that choose that path.

It's sorta like a really really dark Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase.

Well, dammit, looks like I'd have to kill Truffles then... I guess since you said you'd sell out for 1 billion I can't go any lower than that or else I'll seem heartless and corrupt.

 

[scorptatious]

While I wouldn't mind having that much money, I would never ever ever ever ever EVER kill my dogs for any amount of money. I'd tell that billionaire to go suck a fat one.

 

[Heronblade]

My reaction would actually vary. There's a high chance I'll be offended enough to simply flip him off and leave. If that is not my immediate reaction, I may actually accept the offer for a ridiculous quantity.

This is not because of a lack of empathy with my pet. I care for my cat a great deal. The only reason I might accept is because her quality of life is swiftly going down at present and I am seriously considering euthanasia at this point. If it comes to that, I'll be giving her the injection myself anyways, I won't hand her off to some stranger to be disposed of. At almost fifteen years old, her health problems are fairly numerous, and would also make it fairly simple to make an end of her in one blow with a mallet, even a dinky wooden one.

 

[DevilWithaHalo]

Do you do it?

If I'm in a good mood, I'll keep walking. If I'm in a bad mood, I'm testing his man servants constitution. The old man is getting charges brought up against him, one way or another. It's up to him at that point how far things go.

No one... no... one... touches my dogs.

 

[DustyDrB]

None. Nothing. No, never. I love my dog more than I love most people (and I'm not even the cynical, people-hating type). He's my bud.

 

[twistedmic]

I'd tell the bitter old man to go fuck himself, tell the driver/manservant to go fuck himself then knock the briefcase from the manservant/drivers' hands and walk away. I've had to have my sixteen year old cat (who I'd had since he was around one and a half) and it was hard enough to make that decision even though I knew he was in pain and was dying anyway (kidney failure and infected teeth) and that the process would be painless for him.

 

[Kae]

Given that I hate animals and therefore I have no pet, then does that count like I already did it?
Besides all the pets I had when I was a kid are dead now, I did accidentally kill 1 chicken and 1 turtle, what?! I didn't see the chicken and the turtle was filthy, I didn't knew they got poisoned by soap...

So anyway if you mean like go ahead and kill the dog that my brother had, I just wouldn't I mean it would be really assinine on my part to go to my parents house and kill the dog, even if it's for 1 billion dollars, and killing a pet of my own, well I'd have to start liking animals so I can have one to kill it, but if I like the animal enough to have it then I probably wouldn't kill it.

 

[Karhukonna]

I would not kill my pets for money. It's not that I wouldn't be tempted, it's just that I just couldn't bring myself to hurt them. Just... No, man. I don't so much care if it was something else, like a human being or something, but I could never cause harm to an animal.

If I was asked to kill a stranger for money, I just might consider it, but animals? I'd strangle a man with his own gut if the price was right, but animals are just a good old no-no.

 

[Jonluw]

I'd flip the fucker off and tell him to shove the mallet up his ass is what I'd do.

 

[Blobpie]

kill my cat......NEVER, he is the first really good pet i ever had! And you can kill him after you you get through me.....

 

[Supertegwyn]

Nope. You can't replace an animal.

 

[game-lover]

I'm gonna go with no.

Fuck that old decrepit bastard. He's not gonna use me to alleviate his misery.

 

[Luftwaffles]

I'd take the money and beat him with the mallet.

^That.

Then use the money to pay off the medi after that trip down punchy lane with whatshisname

Unless of course, it just so happened that i was bringing him to the vet/seaside/forest to be put down. Id grab the dough, shoot my dog, mallet the old man, then pay the medical bills.