How to get out of the "Friend Zone"?

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Kurokami

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Feb 23, 2009
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Mazty said:
You're still a kid, you ain't in love, trust me on that. You'll look back in a few years and laugh about it all.
Want to get out the friend zone? Get ripped. Solution.
One way that's proven to not work.

anthony87 said:
Get over her;

Become bitter and cynical;

Then come join the rest of us.
This, after telling her how you feel of course, alternatively she may feel its mutual and you'll get it all, though in my experience the barrier between friendship and more is built from radio active barbed wire and pure death. Participate in powerplay, they're fun (though frustrating) and if you're lucky the balance will shift. In any case when all fails, listen to Anthony up there.

Oh, and the mixed signals are often only mixed in your mind, recruit a third party to talk to, if nothing else it'll make things easier provided they aren't cunts.
 

Kurokami

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Feb 23, 2009
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Mazty said:
Kurokami said:
Mazty said:
You're still a kid, you ain't in love, trust me on that. You'll look back in a few years and laugh about it all.
Want to get out the friend zone? Get ripped. Solution.
One way that's proven to not work.
Really? There's hard proof for these kind of things? In my experience it's worked just fine...
Well the hardest proof comes from experience in my opinion, but then each persons experience differs as do the girls.
 

Dr Namgge

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Oct 21, 2009
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Do what I did, date the wrong girl for a year because you're desperate and lonely, have that blow up in your face around the time the girl you do want is splitting up with her boyfriend. next step spend a day alone together doing nothing but wandering, around and talking, committing to no plans and doing what comes naturally. End up groping her in a really cheeky and inoffensive way, a sort of "I'm doing this cos it's funny" way. Ask her why she's not bothered. Spend ages hugging her and telling her she means a lot to you. Have her ex come back in the picture and spend three months miserable, and wondering if you should just get back with your ex and just accept that you might get sex. Go to a party together, and spend the night sleeping drunk on the stairs next to her. Make her go on a month long trip where you seldom contact her so she realises she misses you. Have an awkward talk about feelings. Do nothing based on this and have the same talk a week later. Arrange to meet up in the same place you spent the day aimlessly walking. Reminisce with her, and then kiss her. A lot. From then on congrats, you're a couple.

That's the only sure-fire way I know to make it work. Otherwise you're doomed.
 

DanDeFool

Elite Member
Aug 19, 2009
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Here's something you could try.

The problem a lot of 'guy friends' get into is they start to become too complementary. They start to treat their interest too nicely, do favors for her, put up with annoying conversations, etc.

If you're already in the friend zone, it's going to be really hard for you to get out. You're probably better off just starting over.

If you want her to start liking you as a love interest, instead of as a friend, you have to stop being 'friendly' with her.

How to do this:

1. Date other women (doesn't have to be seriously). Talk to her about the women you're dating, and how they're all really cool, attractive girls and how you're really into them. Don't complain about them; that will only make things worse.

Of course, you might find someone else you really like while you're working on this step; in which case just forget about your friend and move on.

2. Tease her, A LOT. In a fun way, of course. If you can make fun of a girl in a way that makes her laugh, it'll really turn up the attraction she feels towards you.

3. Stop doing things she asks you to do, unless you actually want to do them. Don't do her any favors, don't take her out to eat, don't put up with her drama. If she starts talking about her jerk boyfriend, excuse yourself. If she asks you to go to a party with her, and you know you're not going to enjoy it, refuse. If she wants you to take her car to get washed, refuse. If she wants you to write a poem for her, refuse (or write her a hilarious poem that makes fun of her in a subtle way). Remember, you don't want to be her 'friend' anymore, so there's no reason for you to do 'friend' things for her anymore.

If she's going out to eat somewhere you actually want to go, then it's okay to say yes (but don't be too eager about it).

4. DO NOT TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HER! Don't tell her you love her, or that she's the 'only one for you', or anything like that. Save it for when you're proposing to her. Seriously, there is no faster way to ruin your chances with a woman, because you're giving all your power away. If you already love her, she doesn't have to put any effort into the relationship, and that's boring. Relax, kick back, and let her PURSUE YOU.

In fact, if you start getting out of the friendship frame, and she starts being more flirtatious towards you, start busting her balls about being in love with YOU. Give her crap about annoying things she does, and how she's screwing up her chances with you, etc.

5. Don't worry about whether it will work or not. If you're freaking out about whether this is going to happen for you or not, you're almost guaranteed to screw it up. If you really want to change your relationship with this girl, you have to be prepared that you might not be able to be friends anymore. Get over it; always remember - there ARE plenty of fish in the sea.

It won't be easy, and there's only a small chance you'll get the result you want. Like I said, it's almost not worth trying.
 

The Cheezy One

Christian. Take that from me.
Dec 13, 2008
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Squid94 said:
Not another relationship thread...

We're a bunch of crazy social rejects; why else do you think we're on this site in the first place (hehehe...)?

Do whatever you think is right.
mate, i want to shake your hand

because thats the only physical contact i get
oh man im alone


kill me

OT: same as i tell everyone
take the risk, or dont, youll get over her eventually, and see signals from someone else. im currently seeing signals from a really nice girl called Eleanor (isnt that a cool name?), ive only met her twice, then she posted on my facebook saying basically "hi will i see you next week?"

RebellionXXI said:
Here's something you could try.

The problem a lot of 'guy friends' get into is they start to become too complementary. They start to treat their interest too nicely, do favors for her, put up with annoying conversations, etc.

If you're already in the friend zone, it's going to be really hard for you to get out. You're probably better off just starting over.

If you want her to start liking you as a love interest, instead of as a friend, you have to stop being 'friendly' with her.

How to do this:

1. Date other women (doesn't have to be seriously). Talk to her about the women you're dating, and how they're all really cool, attractive girls and how you're really into them. Don't complain about them; that will only make things worse.

Of course, you might find someone else you really like while you're working on this step; in which case just forget about your friend and move on.

2. Tease her, A LOT. In a fun way, of course. If you can make fun of a girl in a way that makes her laugh, it'll really turn up the attraction she feels towards you.

3. Stop doing things she asks you to do, unless you actually want to do them. Don't do her any favors, don't take her out to eat, don't put up with her drama. If she starts talking about her jerk boyfriend, excuse yourself. If she asks you to go to a party with her, and you know you're not going to enjoy it, refuse. If she wants you to take her car to get washed, refuse. If she wants you to write a poem for her, refuse (or write her a hilarious poem that makes fun of her in a subtle way). Remember, you don't want to be her 'friend' anymore, so there's no reason for you to do 'friend' things for her anymore.

If she's going out to eat somewhere you actually want to go, then it's okay to say yes (but don't be too eager about it).

4. DO NOT TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HER! Don't tell her you love her, or that she's the 'only one for you', or anything like that. Save it for when you're proposing to her. Seriously, there is no faster way to ruin your chances with a woman, because you're giving all your power away. If you already love her, she doesn't have to put any effort into the relationship, and that's boring. Relax, kick back, and let her PURSUE YOU.

In fact, if you start getting out of the friendship frame, and she starts being more flirtatious towards you, start busting her balls about being in love with YOU. Give her crap about annoying things she does, and how she's screwing up her chances with you, etc.

5. Don't worry about whether it will work or not. If you're freaking out about whether this is going to happen for you or not, you're almost guaranteed to screw it up. If you really want to change your relationship with this girl, you have to be prepared that you might not be able to be friends anymore. Get over it; always remember - there ARE plenty of fish in the sea.

It won't be easy, and there's only a small chance you'll get the result you want. Like I said, it's almost not worth trying.
listen to this guy - and heres my views on what he said
1. good idea, but we are all socially retarded, but good luck anyway

2. yeah, dont be awkward around her or shell think you dont like her, and try to avoid you. if she does like you she might feel betrayed

3 + 4. i found that when i like a girl, i force myself to agree with her, but to most people, this sounds fake. ive heard a friend agree with LITERALLY everything this girl said, and i was thinking "you want her blatantly". try to distance yourself a bit. i know someone that said "you are the only one for me, i will never love again after you" to a girl, and that just freaked her out. he also gave her £40 and a cuddly tiger for valentines day, because "thats what he does for friends". in 2 years he will realise he wasted that money

5. i dont mean to sound cruel, but chances are, this is just a crush. as humans, we are all shallow people, my parents were. my mother was attractive and my father was a high flyer. just keep your eyes/ears out for someone else, and move on. dont devote your life to one person. i did, havent seen her in a year, and in retrospect i was a bit of a tool
 

Doctor_Insano

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Oct 23, 2009
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ask one of her freinds what she thinks of you, chances are unless the girl is a ***** or likes you or her: they will tell you what u need to know, other than that: sit close to her and let the pheremones to the work, casual intimacy can make magic happen, because rufies are always a bad idea
 

SomethingUnrelated

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Aug 29, 2009
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EquinoxETO said:
Squid94 said:
Not another relationship thread...

We're a bunch of crazy social rejects; why else do you think we're on this site in the first place (hehehe...)?

Do whatever you think is right.
mate, i want to shake your hand

because thats the only physical contact i get
oh man im alone


kill me
I'd kill you if I could, but I recently lent my weapons to a kind man from South America =(
 

TheMatt

New member
Jan 26, 2009
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next time you are talking about something inane like... food, friends, plans for the weekend, whatever... take out your penis and gently stroke it...

or, rub it up against her when she is not expecting it.

Lemme know how that goes.
 

Sevre

Old Hands
Apr 6, 2009
4,886
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Oh lord, you cannot get out of the Friend Zone. Its impossible to get out of the friend zone without losing a piece of your soul and destroying all possibility of a relationship in any form in the aftermath.

That said, good luck.
 

Lucifus

New member
Dec 3, 2008
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Ever thought about telling her? If your stuck in the friend zone your buggered.
 

BonsaiK

Music Industry Corporate Whore
Nov 14, 2007
5,635
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PrivatePuFF said:
Hello.

I know this post is maybe out of place, since this is a gaming forum. But I am kind of a lurker and I really like this Community and think you guys and gals can help me :D

The problem is that I have fallen for my best girl friend and I am in love with her. But I don't know if she is interested in me. She send me mixed signals all the time. Some examples is: Our teacher told the girls "that if you are going to get a boyfriend the guy need to be good at writhing poems." And she told me that the next boyfriend she is having have to be good at writhing poems, so I have to learn you to write good poems.

But then she also says stuff like she don't want a new boyfriend that is in the same class (I am in the same class as her) And she always tells me about the new crushes she is having and guys she like. And she tells me that I am her best friend.

And now the 31th she invited me to her birthday and we are going to watch a movie just us 2 I think. And I want to kiss her or tell her how I feel but I don't want to ruin our friendship.

So fellow Escapist's can you help me? :D
I have answered this post in the Relationship Problem Thread, which is here: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161?page=13#3637974
 

BonsaiK

Music Industry Corporate Whore
Nov 14, 2007
5,635
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JanatUrlich said:
I don't get this whole "friend zone" thing. Do a lot of girls have it??? I literally have people that I'm attracted to and people that I'm not attracted to.

I just don't get it. The people that I wouldn't go out with, I wouldn't go out with because I don't want to have sex with them. Sometimes I think this "friend zone" thing is a totally made up concept
It is. It was just made up by some nerdy misogynists with a lot of angst and too much keyboard time on their hands. What you say is correct - people are either a prospect, or they're not. Simple as that.
 

Cilliandrew

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Jul 10, 2009
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If she has set you up to watch a movie alone on her birthday and you don't try to make a move on her, then you're crazy.