Good advice, I guess. Good on you for putting the effort into that. Alot of it just elaborated what alot of us knew, but you put it across coherently and it was an interesting read. Thanks.
How to win the girl. (Some help for all the "best friends" out there.)
- Thread starter maximilian
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If I liked him back I would love it. I don't know, maybe it's just where I'm from, but there are a lot of guys here that are just like "AH! I'm in love with you!" 48 hours after meeting the girl, and it seems to work in their favor.maximilian said:
Personally I think that is where i draw the line. You're not supposed to be overly jealous, but i keep it to the fact that the girl is not my buddy. I don't want to marry my best friend. In my world there is a difference between "my girlfriend is my best friend" and "my best friend is my girlfriend".maximilian said:
Besides, the fact that I develop a strong bond with someone of the other gender is the goal. The secret to a future relationship, for me, lies in the link you create with the girl, and not the change that comes after.
That I can be sentimental, yet maintain my masculinity is a freedom that I enjoy (Damn you estrogen).
"The reward lies in the journey, not in the destination". That is what i believe in, and should I be dreadfully wrong, I owe you that one beer.
As a female, I can genuinely say that the majority of the advice given here is actually more than likely going to put off a young woman, rather than attract her. Most modern women are not going to find any significant difference between being arrogant and being cocky, nor are they particularly going to care. If you're acting like a dick, no one is going to want to subject themselves to that for a supplementary amount of time, especially not in an exclusive relationship. Trying to convey to a woman that the relationship you have with her can be replicated and experienced somewhere else, as was mentioned in the section involving "showing her you are a commodity", is not a way to establish what could be referred to as a romantic relationship with a woman. Ask a female, and she will tell you that this gives the impression of being aloof. Not necessarily the variety of aloofness that says that you are generally just friendly with everyone, but it implies that you are capable of being intimate with many people, and so, the female in question has a very good chance of feeling that your relationship is nothing special.
Also, I find it more humorous than anything else that you would put such time and effort into an article that supposedly supports, and is, in fact, based upon the concept of showing a woman oneself. I'd always figured that being yourself would be rather difficult if one was attempting to "act cocky", or to "act" as if you could share a conversation of equal intimacy with someone else.
True, the concept of being self-deprecating while still utilizing humor, as well as not becoming submissive and spineless are both attractive, they are, ultimately, a depressingly small aspect of the article you have written.
You can challenge, and twist my statements all you like, but the fact still stands, at least 80% of the behavior you have stated here to be "attractive" is some of the most off-putting things you could possibly do while in courtship.
Also, I find it more humorous than anything else that you would put such time and effort into an article that supposedly supports, and is, in fact, based upon the concept of showing a woman oneself. I'd always figured that being yourself would be rather difficult if one was attempting to "act cocky", or to "act" as if you could share a conversation of equal intimacy with someone else.
True, the concept of being self-deprecating while still utilizing humor, as well as not becoming submissive and spineless are both attractive, they are, ultimately, a depressingly small aspect of the article you have written.
You can challenge, and twist my statements all you like, but the fact still stands, at least 80% of the behavior you have stated here to be "attractive" is some of the most off-putting things you could possibly do while in courtship.
wtf is with everyone flaming eachother?
anyways nice thread, and i agree some some of the things on there, wouldent say ALL of it however
anyways nice thread, and i agree some some of the things on there, wouldent say ALL of it however
I've been skimming over "TL;DR" for a long time now. At some point I'm going to have to ask to find out what it means...may as well be now. So?Jaranja said:Nighty night!PurpleSky said:maximilian said:
I'm tired,don't judge me.Goodnight.
I'ma go ahead and summarise with a TL;DR.
Can you put a summary at the top or something?
OT: Yeh, not bad...lengthy, but not bad. Probably a fairly common problem for young men.
Handy tip:
Mimic her breathing pattern. Don't make it obvious, but inhale and exhale in the same rhythm she does (in sync, of course). This can actually go a long way in making a girl like you better for such a simple action.
Another thing to do is to make a subtle gesture whenever she smiles or laughs at your jokes (like a flick of the wrist, for example). After a few times of doing this, she will begin to associate those movements with that happy feeling. It's helpful when you say something that she may be otherwise uninterested in, as it will lighten the mood if you make her smile.
Mimic her breathing pattern. Don't make it obvious, but inhale and exhale in the same rhythm she does (in sync, of course). This can actually go a long way in making a girl like you better for such a simple action.
Another thing to do is to make a subtle gesture whenever she smiles or laughs at your jokes (like a flick of the wrist, for example). After a few times of doing this, she will begin to associate those movements with that happy feeling. It's helpful when you say something that she may be otherwise uninterested in, as it will lighten the mood if you make her smile.
The main rule that there is to this... If it's not working (almost) right away, change your strategy. Sharp at first, refine later. The earlier the better. The rest you figure out using your eyes and brain.
Though, OP contains a nice set of things to quick start the change.
Though, OP contains a nice set of things to quick start the change.
Oh dear lord I can't believe someone actually made a thread for this.
Also, protip: Nice Guys, if you're nice to girls, then complain about how you should have a girlfriend because you're nice, then you're not a nice guy. Being nice doesn't mean being "nice" so you can get into a chick's knickers. JSYK.
Basically, be yourself. We don't like insincerity.
Also, protip: Nice Guys, if you're nice to girls, then complain about how you should have a girlfriend because you're nice, then you're not a nice guy. Being nice doesn't mean being "nice" so you can get into a chick's knickers. JSYK.
Basically, be yourself. We don't like insincerity.
All of you in here seriously need to read this.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.210834-Here-is-the-relationship-advice-you-all-really-need
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.210834-Here-is-the-relationship-advice-you-all-really-need
Tl;dr: Be yourself and be confident about it. Also, treat her like a normal person.
Seems fair enough.
Seems fair enough.
There's already a relationship advice thread on the forums that's pretty successful. Not that this thread isn't good for someone looking to hop out of the friend zone, but I'm just sayin'.
Fun fact! The friend zone is just an easy way for girls to say that they like your personality, but they wouldn't fuck you. Basically. Is the point I'm trying to get across here.
Fun fact! The friend zone is just an easy way for girls to say that they like your personality, but they wouldn't fuck you. Basically. Is the point I'm trying to get across here.
Wait, so your first advice is to 'be yourself'.
Then on, from what I can gather, you tell us to creepily stare at her until she looks away, end conversations while she may want to say something, be cocky and self deprecating even though that may not be what we are like, and not get to know her before deciding whether or not you like her enough to ask her out.
I'm sorry, but even though I've never had a girlfriend, all this advice seems terrible. I think I'll keep the relationship stuff to myself, thanks.
Then on, from what I can gather, you tell us to creepily stare at her until she looks away, end conversations while she may want to say something, be cocky and self deprecating even though that may not be what we are like, and not get to know her before deciding whether or not you like her enough to ask her out.
I'm sorry, but even though I've never had a girlfriend, all this advice seems terrible. I think I'll keep the relationship stuff to myself, thanks.