How would you check to see if someone wasn't human at all?

[Skulltaker101]

Me, I'd get them to watch Toy Story 3. If they didn't cry or be at all moved by that film (yeah, I just saw it. How did you guess?) then they have no soul and are either undead, a robot, or both.

So, suppose you suspect your neighbour of being something of that kind? How would you check?

 

[manythings]

Do they have to survive the process? If not, a shotgun.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I'd show them this video.


If they don't smile, then something's wrong.

Very wrong.

 

[Tesral]

I'd ask them about Mudcrabs, and see if they break eye contact for the entire conversation. Normally you can just tell these uncanny valley types from looking hard enough.

 

[LookingGlass]

Easy.

I'd say, "Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about... your mother."

If they don't shoot me, human.

 

[Jonluw]

I would take a blood or tissue sample and confirm that their DNA does indeed correspond to that of our species.

No, Toy story 3 didn't make me cry. Or tear up for that matter.

 

[Halceon]

DNA test, of course!

 

[Haagrum]

I'd start talking at length about the legal concept and applications of estoppel.

If their eyes glaze over, human. If not, inhuman (or a lawyer - which is probably a subclass of inhuman, depending on who you ask).

 

[SckizoBoy]

With science... what else?

And a gleeful autopsy.

 

[Spy_Guy]

Me, I'd get them to watch Toy Story 3. If they didn't cry or be at all moved by that film (yeah, I just saw it. How did you guess?) then they have no soul and are either undead, a robot, or both.

I'll have you know that my friends attest that I have a soul, am not a robot, and that I do not smell like a zombie. So there.

OT:

I'd stare them in the eyes; as they are the window to one's soul, in case they're not human, then it should be vacant in there.
Fortunately, my tendency to be an equal opportunity glarer will cover for me in case they wonder why I did that.

 

[DJDarque]

I would try to get them to bleed, even if just a little bit. Harry Dresden has taught me that most creatures don't bleed like we do.

 

[Jakub324]

Pass them a puppy. If they don't immediately stroke the hell out of it, kill them.

 

[BlackSaint09]

Let them watch Clannad and Clannad After story. If they dont cry... Il have my answer.

 

[Simeon Ivanov]

Kick them in the balls. Females included.

 

[OliverTwist72]

Well, if you have to give them an oil change I would say that's a good indicator.

I for one welcome our new cyborg overlords.

 

[Rawne1980]

Nipple twisters.

It may not tell you if they were an alien or undead creature but it would be amusing.

Also Toy Story 3, it wasn't very good.

 

[Doclector]

Get them to attempt to lick their own elbow. Science says humans can't do that. Then again, I can, and I asssure you I'm very much human.

*smiles with way too many teeth*

 

[Colonel Mustard]

Chuck 'em in a CAT scanner and look for the robot parts, simple.

Failing that, dissect them.