How would you deal with the rise of the apes?

[DuskServent]

So I just saw the movie not too long ago, and then started thinking of how to put down the rise of the apes...
So I ask, how would you stop monkeys/apes/gorillas from ruling the earth and enslaving mankind?
Anyway you can possibly think of really, from Gundams, technology, the power of science, magic, aliens, make a virus that seeks out the apes, making another species of animals super smart or even making resident evil happen or bring down the ultramarines.

Real way: I think I would blow up the bridge, sure there may still be people on there but its a sacrifice we would have to take from being enslaved. As soon as they are in the middle, drop bombs and missiles from the outer parts of the bridge to the inside.

Fictional way: Super Robots would be overkill for taking down apes, so Reals might be a little better, something small that can at least fly, has speed, and is best at long range combat.

 

[Innegativeion]

I would use my telekinesis to flash annoying pop-music videos through their heads, continuously.

 

[Flamezdudes]

You shoot them. Done. Seriously, why does it seem like the film looks like its really over dramatising it when we could easily kill them.

 

[TriggerHappyAngel]

Spoiler: You use them as Curling stones of course!

 

[otakon17]

Dude, we just can't get along? Really, it can't be that hard to reason with super intelligent primates.... or can it?

 

[enzilewulf]

Here is a crazy Idea. Use our attack helicopters but don't fly them 2 inches above the ground. That way none of them can jump on to them. Then we rip their heads off with the machine guns. Then we pull a couple of air strikes, send in the army with their UAV drones to wipe out the ape population....

Then PETA will still get pissed about it.

 

[1mike1000]

Just because the joke will be made anyways:

I for one welcome our new ape overlords.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

Call them to the negotiating table. Apologise for the failings of mankind towards fellow forms of life. Then extend the hand of friendship so that man and ape may work together for a better future.

...

What?

 

[Arkynomicon]

Automatic weapons. I don't care how strong and clever they are because they couldn't possible move faster then a hailstorm of speeding bullets.

 

[Abengoshis]

Shoot them. Yes the movie wasn't realistic. I haven't seen it but from the trailer it seems that an entire army with guns etc can't take down a load of gorillas with spears.
Unless you mean a human uprising, since we're apes, in which case look in the news recently.

 

[Mannayz]

If the apes are hostile, then I will counter hostility with a wall of flying bullets, fire, and explosions.

If they have the intent on being friendly, however, I'll sit down with them to have a nice cup of tea and discuss the world's problems and trying to fix them.

 

[Rylingo]

Poisoned bananas. Lots of poisoned bananas.

 

[RagTagBand]

"A hail of gunfire from a helicopter" comes to mind. I don't know what bullshit they weaved into the movie that made this obvious and effective tactic useless, but rest assured in an RL scenario Intelligence does not trump bullets.

Or napalm.

 

[King of the Sandbox]

Shoot them. Yes the movie wasn't realistic. I haven't seen it but from the trailer it seems that an entire army with guns etc can't take down a load of gorillas with spears.
Unless you mean a human uprising, since we're apes, in which case look in the news recently.

This. Even if they knew how to us guns, they haven't had nearly as much practice as human have. Also, the armies of the world, if combined to kill every simian and ape on the planet, would be home for tea in about two days, tops.

 

[Total LOLige]

I wouldn't charge at a gorilla whilst on horseback with a nightstick. That's for sure.

 

[Dirzzit]

Same way I handle everything

Guns.

 

[robert01]

You shoot them. Done. Seriously, why does it seem like the film looks like its really over dramatising it when we could easily kill them.

I haven't seen it, but this. Just kill the fucking things. We have more ways of killing things, and still the apes take over? Forget that shit. Use whatever you can find, sanction ape killing days and rally up. No more smart apes. Humanity can continue going on it's merry way, and say hey remember when we had to kill a bunch of apes to survive.

 

[Ashbax]

You do know the apes in that movie didnt really 'take over' so much as survive, right? They got smart, then went off to live in the forest, and right after a huge murderous plague wiped out humanity, but the apes were immune. They got smarter again, then just enslaved the few remaining humans, then some people who were lost in space landed and you get the first apes movie.

Me, I would use the military. Shoot them. Done, boom. In most scenarios that would work.