How would you run hell?
- Thread starter AzrealMaximillion
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Everyone would be locked in a room with a indestructible television that can't be messed with in any way, and all that would ever play would be a episode of Jersey shore.
Tranquility Lane from Fallout 3 always seemed to me to be the very worst kind of hell, the one where you don't know you're there, only to be played with by an omnipotent, wholly evil being. Something like that, although I think I'll take a form other than that of a little girl named Betty.
I like the idea of having the person experience their favourite activity for all eternity until they hate it. I'm fairly certain if you do anything non stop forever you will begin to loathe it.
Just thought I'd let you know that here to start at a specific time it's "&start=xxx" where xxx is the time in seconds.DazZ. said:
They say the reason hell is so horrible is because it's separate from God. So I won't pretend it's okay, and all I'd do is keep the place from bursting at the seams. Thanks for doing my job for me, God.
For people who commit sins, I will remind them of each one and then torture them in a fitting manner designed to teach them WHY it's a sin, and then when they regret each of them adequately (how deeply they'd need to regret each depends on the sin and circumstances of it - a man who kills in self-defense probably shouldn't be there at all but if he is he'd spend less time being tortured than a terrorist) I'll let them go free in Hell.
Being in hell for alternate religious beliefs will be excluded unless those beliefs encourage willful sinning. I mean, atheists for the most part aren't bad people, I don't wanna torture them for eternity unless they were also assholes... and most of the time, not even then.
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But for criminals there for willful cardinal sins, they would have their heads locked in place, facing towards a window that looks out onto heaven but forever unable to touch it. A pineapple up the ass is too good for rapists.
For people who commit sins, I will remind them of each one and then torture them in a fitting manner designed to teach them WHY it's a sin, and then when they regret each of them adequately (how deeply they'd need to regret each depends on the sin and circumstances of it - a man who kills in self-defense probably shouldn't be there at all but if he is he'd spend less time being tortured than a terrorist) I'll let them go free in Hell.
Being in hell for alternate religious beliefs will be excluded unless those beliefs encourage willful sinning. I mean, atheists for the most part aren't bad people, I don't wanna torture them for eternity unless they were also assholes... and most of the time, not even then.
...
But for criminals there for willful cardinal sins, they would have their heads locked in place, facing towards a window that looks out onto heaven but forever unable to touch it. A pineapple up the ass is too good for rapists.
i would make it like hel, the norse place of suffering and doom, except id add the ugliest women they could imagine to come and rape or torture them for eternity, or shorter depending on the crime that they did, or none if it didn't even deserve punishment.
barring that id make them play the corruption of champions and have everything in that game happen to them.
barring that id make them play the corruption of champions and have everything in that game happen to them.
I kinda like Dante's take on it. If it turns out there is a God and that not believing is a punishable offence, the punishment should be fairly light. A perfect replica of everyday life would be enough for me, as long as I'm aware that I'm not in any shape of control and that this replicated life of mine is under the complete control of various demons.
Past that? I'd make like the Chinese and also a bit like Dante. Ironically fitting punishment depending on the major sin - but in complete understanding of the fact that people are people. Human beings *will* be excessive about one thing or another. It's in our nature. Considering that, if your personal sin is actually not all that significant, I wouldn't make Hell much more than a one-room office, where you meet with a horned and goatee-wearing cloven-hoofed psychiatrist. He just makes you realize where you flubbed, slaps you on the wrist for it, tells you you'll be denied access to a few minor parts of Heaven as penance - and then you're let go.
Say you're an over-eater because you can't process stress. All of Heaven is yours, but your portions in all the restaurants are rigidly controlled. Before long, this will stop being punishment to you. You won't even notice it anymore.
I wouldn't even go so far as to say some people deserve the burning pits of Hell or anything. A lot of the people History has judged to be monsters were just excessively idealistic or misguided - or sometimes just desperate. I wouldn't even torture folks like Ed Gein or Jeffrey Dahmer, because what they do is the result of chemical imbalances in the brain or maltreatment as children. They can't help what they are - why should I punish someone for something they've had no control over?
The most I'd do to these people or to History's worst butchers is show them how they're actually remembered. They haven't succeeded, they're not heroes of the people and they're not celebrated. They've been devolved to common bad guy stereotypes.
Most people die and aren't celebrated. Most of us will die and the world will go on without missing a beat. These people - they're remembered, alright, but not for the reasons they'd like to be. That's punishment enough, I think. Being in the Afterlife and knowing that a lot of people back home actually hate my guts is enough.
I'm pretty sure Hitler figured his name would go down as the man who pulled Germany out of economic despair and founded a world-spanning empire from it. My demons would start by thanking the guy for at least pulling off the first part - only to show him that his Germany started running on the blood and sweat of Poles, Czechs and Jews in general. My guys would show him every single way the concept of Adolf Hitler as a character became an object of scorn or comically gleeful evil. I'd show him how long it took for things like Bruno Hirschbiegel's "Downfall" to pop out of the woodwork, because the living aren't comfortable with remembering Adolf Hitler as a man. It's easier to think he was this big, grinning cartoon boogieman you can spit at or crush with a Tom & Jerry mallet than it is to consider that he had his quieter moments - that some people could count him as a friend.
To me, unless the guy is still caught up in his own hubris so long after blowing his brains out, this would be punishment enough. He'd be let into Heaven, but as my Heaven is an exact duplicate of mortal life minus all the inconveniences, he'd regularly be confronted to video game Nazis and their Dieselpunk occultists, to Tex Avery's wolf and Charlie Chaplin pulling off exaggerated versions of his salute, to Rob Zombie's cartoon Nazis in "El Superbeasto" - and everything else ever to have made fun of the Waffen-SS.
I'd even let him see how his uniform iconography is remembered. A lot of people find the SS uniform to be badass or appealing, but the guy would realize it isn't because of his contribution to History. A lifetime's work, and you're rewarded by seeing your best troops' uniform being worn by horny couples looking for softcore BDSM.
That *really* is punishment enough.
Past that? I'd make like the Chinese and also a bit like Dante. Ironically fitting punishment depending on the major sin - but in complete understanding of the fact that people are people. Human beings *will* be excessive about one thing or another. It's in our nature. Considering that, if your personal sin is actually not all that significant, I wouldn't make Hell much more than a one-room office, where you meet with a horned and goatee-wearing cloven-hoofed psychiatrist. He just makes you realize where you flubbed, slaps you on the wrist for it, tells you you'll be denied access to a few minor parts of Heaven as penance - and then you're let go.
Say you're an over-eater because you can't process stress. All of Heaven is yours, but your portions in all the restaurants are rigidly controlled. Before long, this will stop being punishment to you. You won't even notice it anymore.
I wouldn't even go so far as to say some people deserve the burning pits of Hell or anything. A lot of the people History has judged to be monsters were just excessively idealistic or misguided - or sometimes just desperate. I wouldn't even torture folks like Ed Gein or Jeffrey Dahmer, because what they do is the result of chemical imbalances in the brain or maltreatment as children. They can't help what they are - why should I punish someone for something they've had no control over?
The most I'd do to these people or to History's worst butchers is show them how they're actually remembered. They haven't succeeded, they're not heroes of the people and they're not celebrated. They've been devolved to common bad guy stereotypes.
Most people die and aren't celebrated. Most of us will die and the world will go on without missing a beat. These people - they're remembered, alright, but not for the reasons they'd like to be. That's punishment enough, I think. Being in the Afterlife and knowing that a lot of people back home actually hate my guts is enough.
I'm pretty sure Hitler figured his name would go down as the man who pulled Germany out of economic despair and founded a world-spanning empire from it. My demons would start by thanking the guy for at least pulling off the first part - only to show him that his Germany started running on the blood and sweat of Poles, Czechs and Jews in general. My guys would show him every single way the concept of Adolf Hitler as a character became an object of scorn or comically gleeful evil. I'd show him how long it took for things like Bruno Hirschbiegel's "Downfall" to pop out of the woodwork, because the living aren't comfortable with remembering Adolf Hitler as a man. It's easier to think he was this big, grinning cartoon boogieman you can spit at or crush with a Tom & Jerry mallet than it is to consider that he had his quieter moments - that some people could count him as a friend.
To me, unless the guy is still caught up in his own hubris so long after blowing his brains out, this would be punishment enough. He'd be let into Heaven, but as my Heaven is an exact duplicate of mortal life minus all the inconveniences, he'd regularly be confronted to video game Nazis and their Dieselpunk occultists, to Tex Avery's wolf and Charlie Chaplin pulling off exaggerated versions of his salute, to Rob Zombie's cartoon Nazis in "El Superbeasto" - and everything else ever to have made fun of the Waffen-SS.
I'd even let him see how his uniform iconography is remembered. A lot of people find the SS uniform to be badass or appealing, but the guy would realize it isn't because of his contribution to History. A lifetime's work, and you're rewarded by seeing your best troops' uniform being worn by horny couples looking for softcore BDSM.
That *really* is punishment enough.
Just some ideas:
- The sinners have a very important project deadline tomorrow, and they can't find the instructions to finish it
- Getting endlessly called by phone salesmen trying to sell you subscriptions to a magazine you don't give a shit about. Also being forced to wait in a phone line with a 20-second elevator music loop for all eternity
- Forcing the sinners to stay up for as long as they possibly can, and then waking them up with a loud noise
- Sinners going to a public toilet and after finishing their business they realize there's no paper left. This for eveer and ever
- Having them sit in a small, hot room waiting for something and having to behave without the possibility of getting out, all the while Ke$ha plays on the background on a continuous loop
Man this is fun!
- The sinners have a very important project deadline tomorrow, and they can't find the instructions to finish it
- Getting endlessly called by phone salesmen trying to sell you subscriptions to a magazine you don't give a shit about. Also being forced to wait in a phone line with a 20-second elevator music loop for all eternity
- Forcing the sinners to stay up for as long as they possibly can, and then waking them up with a loud noise
- Sinners going to a public toilet and after finishing their business they realize there's no paper left. This for eveer and ever
- Having them sit in a small, hot room waiting for something and having to behave without the possibility of getting out, all the while Ke$ha plays on the background on a continuous loop
Man this is fun!
I neither have the want or talent. Christianity works on different rules for human beings and God. "Judge not lest you be judged"/"Let he who is without sin throw the first stone" would mean that I would find it immoral to be passing moral judgements, I feel that is a matter for God himself.
So the premise doesn't work for me.
So the premise doesn't work for me.
I'm a forgiving sort. So I believe that most if not all can be reconciled. In short I would run it like a rehabilitation clinic with infinite resources and the creativity of my imagination. Punishment and reconciliation according to the crime. Everyone gets their own bubble universe to live in separate from the "real one." For most of them I will remove their memory of their previous life, make them live through the lives of those they hurt, then give them their real memory back to see if they can put together why what they did was wrong. If not I give them a solid beating and try round two. The non-murderers get to go free. I'll see if God will take them and if not they'll form my "Hell's Angels," running errands, soul purging when I get bored or busy and maybe an intervention here and there on Earth to lessen my workload. The murderers once, they've learned their lessen will go sit in the corner with the cone of shame to think about what they did for an eternity. Hitler and Stalin for example would live through ALL the lives of people they got killed, relatives and in general people they hurt.
Everyone starts out in the first level. First, they're given guns to fight off hordes of demons, when they die, they'll go to the second level, where they'll have to do some sort of ironic punishment.
Unless you're in hell for something I deem minor, then you just have to survive for a year.
Unless you're in hell for something I deem minor, then you just have to survive for a year.
Before you can enter hell, you must wait in a line. If you try to talk to the person next to you, or push in, or step out of line, or fidget, or look at one of the demons 'like that' you have to go to the back. Even though someone dies every few seconds, if you stand still long enough to get into hell, you are given an amnesiac, told you have just died and gone to hell, and put at the back of the line.
A world of over the top rainbows with the most cliched romances happening all around you while every fairy tale creature bounds around you singing 1950s happy jinglesand all you can do is watch unable to interact with anything around you.
I'd give a person the maximum of a week before they went insane or their head exploded.
I'd give a person the maximum of a week before they went insane or their head exploded.
Hell is all about the punishment, while purgatory, and pre-reincarnation memory deletion, are there for rehabilitation.
So, Hell would have to be publicised, it would have to be entertaining or interesting enough from the outside that mortals would gawk at it, yet gruesome enough that they don't want to go there.
By making punishments that fit the different sins, hell would demonstrate what to refrain from doing in order to end up there, victims would be forced into interviews where they talk about their sins and the resulting punishment, there could be Big Brother Chairs but with bondage straps, lie detectors, and punishment devices for that purpose.
So the place would be very varied, to suit all kinds of mortal demographics, and be appropriate to all kinds of dead sinners.
Also I would try to have some kind of release program, the sinners and mortal viewers wouldn't have to know about it, but it'd be there because no one can deserve an eternity of suffering in return for a finite amount of sin.
So, Hell would have to be publicised, it would have to be entertaining or interesting enough from the outside that mortals would gawk at it, yet gruesome enough that they don't want to go there.
By making punishments that fit the different sins, hell would demonstrate what to refrain from doing in order to end up there, victims would be forced into interviews where they talk about their sins and the resulting punishment, there could be Big Brother Chairs but with bondage straps, lie detectors, and punishment devices for that purpose.
So the place would be very varied, to suit all kinds of mortal demographics, and be appropriate to all kinds of dead sinners.
Also I would try to have some kind of release program, the sinners and mortal viewers wouldn't have to know about it, but it'd be there because no one can deserve an eternity of suffering in return for a finite amount of sin.