How would you survive a horror movie?

[Iron Mal]

Simply be the most helpless and defenceless person there, the cosmos (and the writers) will take pity on you and let you survive everything (because we think it's more interesting and tense when someone like a girly nurse or small child has to survive the crazy zombie outbreak on their own).

Failing that, be Bruce Campell, that seems to work too.

 

[Palindromemordnilap_v1legacy]

How would I survive a horror movie? By being the director

 

[Otterpoet]

Actually, I just realized... we're gamers. By Hollywood standards, we're all geeks and will die promptly and brutally (much to the audience's amusement) no matter /what/ we do

Damn you Hollywood Stereotypes!

 

[SharPhoe]

Not being black would probably help.

Yep. You're all basically required BY LAW to survive longer than I do.

 

[Trivun]

I'd basically get a shotgun and lock myself in my room. It's on the top floor of the building and you need a key to get into the building, a seperate key to my flat, and a third for my room. Safest place I can think of and the corridor is pretty thin so any horror film psycho/monster/slasher/all of the above will have a hard time avoiding my lethal shells That said, I'd probably find some way of capturing him/her/it and subject them to extreme torture, since it's revenge for the stereotypical friends of mine who would have already died, and no-one would care anyway. I'm pretty bloodthirsty and psycho myself, as people who've read my short stories here will know...

 

[GreigKM]

I would not go into a place that is full of zombies, etc. In other words I would follow the advice of the loud annoying moviegoer. As for monster movies, well I would follow the evacuation procedure and not stay put/run back to get a smoothie.

 

[Kranoes]

i would get my ol Mr shotty go get all my buds and end up raiding the local walmart jack a boat and live at sea ^^ or an oil rig >.>

 

[fangoram]

all you need to do is read this book http://www.amazon.com/How-Survive-Horror-Movie-Skills/dp/1594741794 . Of course I'm one of the lucky people out there who isn't good looking, overly fat, or a stereotype so I generally get to live outside horror movies unless Wes Craven starts up the nightmare movies again.

 

[hardcore max]

ild start biting zombies because if you bite a zombie after it bites you then you might survive(earthbound) ild also say i have a secret but never tell till the end of the movie

 

[tenlong]

mind my own bussiness and get out of there.

 

[johnman]

Dont do the frigging retarded things that most people do in horror films. Just sit still or go home.

 

[ffxfriek]

id become invincible as above mentioned

 

[MarxonSR1]

Become a reviewer and fight the zombies/whatever happens to be chasing you off with bad reviews on their acting and appalling plot-line. Or do the opposite and endear them to me with fantastic reviews.

Or I could just accept that I have no hope of surviving and become the depressive, pessimistic drag in the group, be left alive until the end, but be killed in some convoluted and suspect way. Or develop a heart of gold and awesome courage and charge the horde/villain guns blazing after having drank some very strong port.

So in short I would survive by living on in the hearts of the viewers who watched my epic ending, or not.

 

[CNKFan]

As soon as I hear the music that the monster, jason, etc. is coming I would leave the area and stay gone

 

[MrMisfit]

I'd steal a car and get the hell out of town

 

[Daveman]

Being a plucky young female virgin would help... otherwise I might just learn jujitsu.

 

[Tharwen]

Most of these posts seem to be about zombie apocalypse movies, which are easiest to plan for because most zombies are the same.

What about the Ring/Exorcist/What Lies Beneath/Grudge etc... style horror? As far as I can tell, the solution to these is to live in a house with around 20 completely sane people in the middle of a city with reliable lighting and over-sensitive alarm systems, walkie - talkies, armed guards - and no 'skeletons in your closet' (In both senses of the phrase).

Oh, and I nearly forgot - the ghostbusters headquarters next door!