How would you tell your kids 'bout them birds & bees?

[NJ]

Given every person thinks differently 'bout this issue, I'm curious. Lets say, you got yourself a 10-14 year old kid, innocent as can be. How would you break the news of their evolution from 'He's alone in his room, phew' to 'Shit, he's alone... Honey, check if the internets off.'?

My parents never bothered giving me 'the talk' to be honest, first time I got laid was like a 12 year old with nervous breakdown problems doing a show and tell infront of NASA.

How would you? Give the kid a book? Send him/her into the adult section of a magazine store? Let the poor soul lose on the mental void that is teh interwebs? Or would you go through the barren awkwardness of slowly trying to explain how to insert the key and turn the lock as if you're explaining the physics of antimatter?

Curious here, thats all.

 

[lacktheknack]

Talk frankly about it when they're eight, so they grow into the idea naturally.

 

[TheTaco007]

Talk frankly about it when they're eight, so they grow into the idea naturally.

Damn, ninja'd

 

[Dango]

Let them figure it out on their own. I found it out without my parents telling me.

 

[Thebiggestpanda]

4chan. nuff said.

 

[Blue_vision]

Talk frankly about it when they're eight, so they grow into the idea naturally.

Pretty much this. If they haven't started wondering/asking by then, then talk to them about it straight up.
And personally, I wouldn't give a damn if my kid is watching porn on TV or the internet. Heck, if they're 14 or 15 and wanted an "adult magazine," I'd probably get one for them. But of course, it'd be a good tasteful one, not something off Brazzers or whatnot
I'd like to be very open with my children (assuming I end up having any.) And stigmatizing sex and nudity and all that doesn't do any help. To your kids, and to the issue as a whole.

 

[Truth Cake]

Let them figure it out on their own. I found it out without my parents telling me.

I was also ninja'd T_T

If they ask about it, tell them you'll tell them when they're older- in simpler words, the lazy path

 

[rockyoumonkeys]

Let them learn it on the internet like every other kid these days.

 

[Iron Lightning]

Just be frank. Children aren't stupid, you tell them what something is and they'll get it.

 

[teutonicman]

To son: You`ve watched porn right son.
Response: Uhh, um..... yes?
To son: Alright then, good talk son.

To daughter: You better not turn in to the god damn village bike.
Response: What's the village bike Dad?
To daughter: Go watch the first Austin Powers movie, now.

 

[akapellah21]

Well, it was obviously the stork

 

[Moontouched-Moogle]

Hmm, maybe start off with a vague explanation, along with one of those books along the lines of "Where Babies Come From." Then, once they start sex-ed, supplement that with a more detailed description than your initial one.

If their school doesn't offer sex-ed, all the more reason to get into detail.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Wait until they first ask me, then as soon as they do, I go into the most technical explanation i can. So what if they are scarred for life, make that kid a man/woman and fast. Then again, I'm also not going to tell them Santa or the Easter bunny is real. I'm just going to say what the real meaning of the holiday is and tell them that becuase they are happy days, I thought a gift for them would be a good thing, if we have the money or if they have been good.

 

[bak00777]

well as i recall my parents never sat down with me and had a conversation about it. instead, if i had question they would give me an answer, that was over several months i think.

I might use that approach, let my kids know that if they have questiona about it or want to talk about it ill be there to help, let them talk to me on their terms. I think that will reduce the awkwardness that can come along with that conversation.

 

[zHellas]

I'd just tell them all about it.

First the basics, then going to all the fetishes and making sure they know/think that they're okay with the fetishes(like they know that people are different in many ways, and that while it may be weird it technically is natural(genes and such)).

 

[SovietSecrets]

Put on some porn and go through the details. Might as well have some visual cues while at it.

 

[VincentX3]

I'll give him an inflatable-doll and let's see his reaction to it.
Now if I had a daughter then....another inflatable-doll and see if she's lesbian I don't know.

 

[oreopizza47]

Just be incredibly blunt with them. When they are old enough that you can say for sure they know a little, but haven't done anything about it yet, then start being blunt and honest with them. My mom started talking about that stuff with me when I was twelve, and she's answered all my questions, and then some that I never knew I had... and still more that I would've prefered she didn't assume I had. My younger sisters hear her telling jokes and the like about it at me, and I sit there smacking myself in the forehead while they just sit there dumbfounded. Those two are gonna hate life when they hit 12. But they need to know.