I am not even sure how to react to this..

[nunqual]

First, some background, I suppose. I am guy who loves fashion, cooking and baking, and a few other feminine things. I have a girlfriend of almost a year. Now, I am very comfortable in the fact that I am straight, that's why I'm able to do those things that I love. I don't really care if someone thinks I'm gay, I just know that they're wrong.

However, last night my girlfriend asked me if '[she]was ever going to have to worry that I was bisexual.' I was kind of stunned. I am not bisexual, I've never been attracted to any guys. I've never had any trouble with people thinking I'm not straight before, but the last person I expected to have suspicions was my girlfriend. Her reasoning was that I like baking and fashion. She said she had been watching some show called 'Happily Divorced.' (I've never seen the show, but apparently it's about a husband of 18 years who suddenly comes out as gay to his wife).

Now, as the title of this thread indicates, I don't know how to react. I didn't really get as angry as I think I should have. If anything, I was kind of amused. Thinking about it though, it was kind of horrible. Not only was she questioning my sexuality (which she, of all people, should be pretty sure about), she was basing it on some truly awful stereotypes. Now, I love her, and I'm not going to dump her. This was just kind of a really weird and jarring experience.. I guess what I'm asking is: How would you react if you were in my place? What do you think about my situation?

 

[JochemDude]

A very low pitched laugh and asking if she's serious, would probably be the best thing.
About you're situation if you are happy you shouldn't change anything.

 

[Gxas]

How would you react if you were in my place? What do you think about my situation?

Considering that most people think I'm gay as it is? I wouldn't have a reaction. Though, usually when people ask me something like, "Are you sure you aren't gay?" I simply respond with, "I don't think we'll ever really know."

If you're sure of yourself, then you shouldn't worry about what other people think, even your girlfriend. If she ends up leaving you because of this, then you'll know that she wasn't the one worth having anyway.

 

[Mr Companion]

Just reassert you masculity some way in front of her. Lift some weights in the rain or have an affair, then she will know you are heterosexual.

 

[Herbsk]

Well, I'm a pretty conceited person myself - and so I would probably be a lot more angry then you seem to have been.

From your response, it sounds like you are a pretty easy going person - if you have a good and honest relationship with this girl, talk about it with her at some point soon so you both can understand your feelings (and you'll be less likely to hold a grudge).

If you don't want to do that, just consider it water under the bridge and forget about it - that's what guys do, right?

 

[Lieju]

She wasn't worrying that you were gay, but that you were bisexual, which I don't really understand, since you'd still be attracted to her?

I guess it depends on how serious she was, I mean was she seriously thinking you might run off with a guy or are dating her just to hide your gayness?

Since that might suggest some issues with trust.

Personally, if my girlfriend suspected I was a closet-heterosexual, I'd ask if she was serious, and if she was, I guess I'd get offended/concerned.

 

[Janktrio]

If I were you I would just chuckle slightly and reassure her that I'm not bisexual. Your situation seems fine, if your girlfriend gets really worried about your sexuality you can just try to explain to her that you're not bi and that she really shouldn't worry herself. There's not much else you can do.

 

[Sightless Wisdom]

It's not really a big deal, as long as she knows your not bisexual and you don't have issues with your own sexuality. If I were you I probably would have just laughed in that scenario.

 

[aba1]

LOL STEREOTYPES AND PEOPLE TAKING THEM SERIOUSLY *face palm*

 

[Smooth Operator]

Oh a womans logic, don't ever try to understand it because it will drive you insane.

But on a more serious note, as much as we like to think we know our partners truth is we never do, heck we barely know ourselves, so strange questions are bound to turn up and it is far better that they are resolved then kept in secret.
I had my sexuality questioned aswell due to not humping the girls leg like every other guy, and I can't see why one would get upset about it, she didn't know so she asked, we are after all trying to understand eachother.

So don't get a hissy fit over everything, understand that your partner can't actually read your mind and has no clue what you are thinking, better to clear the air rather then end up on completely different pages.

 

[crop52]

Worry that you were bisexual? Worry? Lol?

I'd straight up laugh, then ask if she was serious, and if she was, I'd laugh some more, because that's pretty fucking funny.

 

[Flailing Escapist]

Suddenly leave for a weekend, tell her you're going to meet a friend (that you've just made and she's never met). Come back early in the morning with ruffled clothes and tell her that you're definately not gay. If she ever brings it up again abrubtly state that you don't want to talk about it.
Problem solved.

 

[Korolev]

I would just say "what makes you think that? Why would you be worried if I was? Don't you trust me to be honest with you?" in the quietest, most deadpan voice possible while looking directly at her.

 

[Pappytech]

Honestly? I'd probably give her a weird look, then narrow my eyes and jokingly say "How'd you know?" Then, figure out why she thinks that, and try to resolve the situation.

It takes a lot to piss me off. If someone asked if I was gay/bisexual I'd probably just brush it off.

 

[Elysis]

Well being a woman, I can see where she was coming from (it's just the way girl's think) :

I think she was just worried about your relationship and you possibly leaving her. Remember that not everyone has super duper confidence and most girls need to be reassured of your love for them. I know it sounds a bit dumb I mean, most of the time girls KNOW their boyfriends love them. They just need reassurance.
Of course not every girl is like that, but... I found that a lot are (through my friends or even myself). Giving yourself to someone is a scary thing, she's just afraid of being hurt.

You just gotta be sensitive and not take it seriously. Girls can be a bit silly (and so can boys!)

 

[Bags159]

Add words like "Steak", "Football", and "Beer" into your everyday conversation to assert your masculinity.

 

[Avaholic03]

Perhaps she was asking hopefully...like "hey, you sure you don't want to get another dude in on this action?"

 

[Jamboxdotcom]

I'm not usually one to yell, "Dump her!" But... Yeah. The fact that she'd even ask that tells me that she's not a wise choice for a life partner. At least that's my opinion. I guess if you don't mind being with someone who asks moronic questions they got out of Cosmo and will never trust you, that's your choice.

 

[hensethe1]

Lift some weights in the rain

That ought to teach her!

Don't do much about it imo. Just live on as you normally do, but if she returns to the topic once or twice, you'll have to somehow show her some masculinity. I suggest eating a raw 2pound steak while looking her in the eyes

 

[Chaos James]

I say its nothing to be too worried about, curiousity can get the best of people and it's much better to talk about it then just keep it to yourself. You don't sound like you'd be easily offended by this, I mean, you love what you do and just because it doesn't fit the gender stereotype doesn't mean anything.

I like baking, I love to cook, I like womens clothing (not in a sense that I wear them, but they always look so colorful and nicely designed, I like to use designs I see when I roleplay female characters), I don't like sports, I don't drink beer, I don't hunt or have any real desire to fight things unless I need to defend myself or others.

I have no problem with my sexuality either, I laugh if people think I'm gay or otherwise not completely into women (not that its bad, I just find it humorous when they ask) and my girlfriend doesn't think anything of it (we both love cooking and such).

So don't worry about it, she was probably just curious after watching that show and thought she'd ask to clear it up, I don't see any harm in simple curiousity.