I can't stop staring at teenage girls...

[UnknownGunslinger]

Hi justsomeguy123,
I'm 21 myself and I can't say I really know what you're going through, though I've been wondering and dreading what it would be like for me in the future, so at least you got my full sympathies.
Being a teacher and otherwise a person of trust to your students, I think it would be atrocious to start a sexual relationship with one.
Not to mention the criminal age gap!
So I'm sorry you're in such an awful situation, that brought you to have such thoughts about your students and it's making you feel so miserable.
I guess it's a bad idea to flirt with your colleagues also, since it could easily lead to a slip.

I wish I had any solid advice other than that or any words of encouragement really
Sadly I don't, here is a picture of a kitty instead:

Spoiler

Hang in there!

 

[Rin Little]

I would definitely recommend telling your wife about this, but whatever you do, DO NOT stress the whole "I want more physical time with you" because odds are its going to piss her off. Number one reason why: She just had a baby! Odds are she's the one taking the brunt of all the care for your child and thus is already exhausted from feeding, changing, entertaining, and whatever else comes from raising a child. If I were her, I wouldn't want my husband complaining to me about how we never have sex anymore when my hormones are already raging from my body changing and having to deal with an infant. Just a suggestion.

 

[Jamboxdotcom]

Have you tried giving them derogatory nicknames in your head and noting how pock-marked and foundation caked their faces are?

I'm 24 and I go to uni with a load of 18 year olds and honestly they disgust me!

That or you could talk to some of them. If that doesn't totally kill any desire you might have, nothing will.

 

[Dr Hammer]

Thinking about it rationally, they would probably be rubbish in bed (lie there like a bag of kippers) due to their inexperience. If you were going to cheat, you'd be better of with a proffessional. Discreet, experienced and convenient.

Might damage the old ego a bit hough :-/

 

[Nimcha]

If this has only come up now, that means you probably had a pretty healthy sex life before the pregnancy. So, well done! Just stick it out and wait until normal service resumes

 

[Bloedhoest]

If this has only come up now, that means you probably had a pretty healthy sex life before the pregnancy. So, well done! Just stick it out and wait until normal service resumes

Totally agree. Wait for the hormones to balance out.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

I'm 38 and hey, it's the internet, so I'm quite willing to admit younger girls of late school age are quite capable of catching my eye too, tho I'm careful not to stare as I don't need the tag of 'that creepy old guy'...

When you're 14 or 15, girls your age will be interesting to you. Newsflash, on a purely sexual level, they probably will never stop being of interest to you, but fortunately, the sheer level of annoyance their company would be puts paid to any ideas of taking it further, along with the lynch mob with flaming torches outside your home if you so much as glance at a girl under 19, in todays 'pedo terror' culture.

In the end, as men, we're biologically built to want to stick it in anything female that's sprouted pubic hair and tits, whether it's 13 or 18, that's kind of WHY there's laws, to protect those who's mental maturity isn't caught up to their physical changes.

There's also a huge difference between feeling lust for fully developed, pretty much aduly students, and wanting to sexually abuse children, you're not wrong for your feelings.

If men are not naturally attracted to young girls, what's the deal with all the teen, schoolgirl, and 'barely legal' porn? Then look at the rest of porn and realise we just want to have sex with almost anyone female, younger, older, black, white, tall, midget, amputee, albino, we just like sex.

(I may have exagerrated things slightly. However, unless you can see into my mind you'll not know how much... )

All I can say to the OP is to be VERY careful at work, and try to keep those thoughts at bay from the 9 to 5. Wanting to shag schoolgirls isn't a crime, but acting on it will at least end your career and probably your marriage.

However, do try not to feel guilty, I imagine almost all teachers find some of their students attractive and sexy. Enough students get feelings for their teachers also, and so long as it's not acted upon, there's no harm in it.

 

[J4RD]

To borrow from Yahtzee, you're a guy between the ages of 14 and dead. You're not a dirty ol' perv, you're wired to think like that.

As far as your wife, I'd say honesty is the best policy. As long as you lay all your cards on the table (tactfully, of course) she'll probably understand.

 

[ABLb0y]

16/17 is pefectly legal. Don't worry about it.

 

[teisjm]

1st, looking at 17 year old girls, even with dirty thoughts doesn't make you a pedophile. Heck where i live, and in many other countries, and as far as i know, several states in the US as well, the age of consent is lower than 18 (15 in Denmark where i live)
And even if you're at a place, where the law says 18, doesn't mean 17 year olds can't be physically attractive, it's just illegal to sleep with them.
I can see it beeing a problem if they're your students, so maybe try to divert your train of thoughts, not to your grandma, that doesn't work, but to someone else who is hot.

And seriously, thinking about cheating is NOT cheating, most people have sexual fantasies about other persons than their partner. As long as you don't actually try to live them out, it's jusdt thoughts in your head.
If it's pressing you a lot, jerk off more, it'll take the edge, untill you and your wife are ready to get a normal sex-life going again, fuck what other people think, if spanking the monkey once or twice a day makes it easier for you, thats what you need to do.

My sex life has been in a low for the past couple months, because my girlfriend have been going through some personal problems, i won't delve deeper into them, but the point is, i have a full understanding of why she hasn't been in the mood, even though it sucks for me.
This of course makes me hornier than usual, but i just take matters into my own hands so to speak. She knows this, and she told me how wonderful it is, to not have to worry about if i'm bitter over it, that i can understand why she's not up for it atm, and that i just handle it myslef, as to ot make it her problem.
Now it's never been a secret between me and her, that we're physically atracted to people besides each other, and we can openly talk about finding someone else hawt as hell, cause we know we won't actually follow up on it, even people we both know personally.
Now we don't live together, so me handling my business is a bit easier, but if you talk to your wife, i'm sure she'll understand that you have desires, and that she won't mind you browsing porn to keep them from bothering you, and in turn, bothering her.
Protip: make sure to maek it perfectly clear, that you don't think she's done anythign wrong, and that you fully understand, that sex isn't her main concern atm, and you should probably phrase it a bit diplomatic, and not burst out that you'd love nothing more than to strip your co-workers naked and fuck their brains out.

 

[Bob Hoss]

You've got something that anthropological-biologists call the "7 year itch" just a tad on the early side. It usually happens in the first 4-7 years of a marriage, and that about when divorce rates start to peak. It can also be triggered by the birth of a child. Don't let that worry you. Your hormones are haywire because of your new kids and your out-dated instincts (that we all share) are telling you to find greener pastures and... erm, sow some seeds, so to speak. The 7 year itch's cousin is the 20 year ditch, when most men have a midlife crisis and buy a car due to fear of getting old and their wives hormones changing.

So, this is actually pretty normal, and while you should be careful, you don't have to hate yourself.Personally, you would have to be more worried if it didn't bother you that your eye has begun to wander. You caught it. Stick it out. Tell your wife how you feel. You married her for a reason, right?

My best advice is to do some reading on hormones, hers and yours. And wait it out. This will get better in time. And remind yourself that all the girls your looking at are empty headed and full of consequences.

And You came to the right corner of the internet to vent, by the by.
Feel free to PM if you need anything from anyone here, dude.

 

[DarthScorpio11]

Have you tried giving them derogatory nicknames in your head and noting how pock-marked and foundation caked their faces are?

I'm 24 and I go to uni with a load of 18 year olds and honestly they disgust me!

how do they disgust you? I'm 21, and find lots of 18 years olds very attractive, and would date given the chance...

 

[Magic Cheese]

I have to echo the thoughts of the contributors tot this thread; Honestly, I can't see a reason to bring this up with your wife. No sense stirring up emotions that will lead nowhere except to anger and frustration and put a strain on your marriage when all you need is a decent masturbation session. Or five.

 

[Doclector]

I know that feeling. I positively HATE my sexual urges. See, I am not an attractive man. The likeliness of me ever getting laid is probably somewhere between firefly being resurrected and kristen Stewart actually doing that "acting" thing that she's being paid for on the "improbable scale". I'm resigned to the fact i will lilely never be desirable, so i want to get on with other things, but I'm twenty years old and my caveman sex drive never gorram shuts up! I don't want to be that Pervy guy, but whenever I see an attractive girl, a part of mind just pipes up a load of disgusting ideas that shock even me.

One man band? Of course I do. But it still refuses to shut up, like it just ain't good enough. I don't get it, what is the point of such a distracting drive if the thing it seeks is unobtainable? It completely ignores this logic.

So, I don't know what you should do, but I do understand.

 

[Hagi]

I still have hormones, I'm in my sexual prime, and my body has been conditioned to regular sexual activity, so my physiology compels me to look elsewhere. I get that.

Where to look:

1. Twist your head as far to the right as possible (if left-handed twist it to the left).
2. Now look down until your chin touches your shoulder.
3. You should see a weird appendage protruding from your chest, it's your arm.
4. At the end of this miraculous appendage is a weird flat piece of flesh with what on first-glance look like five miniature penises attached.
5. You should now be looking at your hand, it is able to provide you with sexual relief anytime and anywhere. Although it's generally recommended to seek privacy.

 

[loc978]

Worry not, a hint of ephebophilia is perfectly normal for a man in his twenties who has recently stopped getting regular sex. As many have said before me, I recommend masturbating regularly until your wife is back up to speed. I know our society tells us it's wrong and pathetic to do so, but this is one of those times when our society is flat-out wrong. Pressure builds in the male reproductive system when is suddenly stops being released on a regular basis. That release has become a physical need. Not ejaculating isn't even an option. You'll just go in your sleep. It's better to control the circumstances than mess the bed with your wife right there, uncomprehending.
Mind you, you'll still be looking at the teenage girls, but it won't be so damned maddening. Just think of your wife before the kids. Who knows, maybe she'll get back to basically that shape.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Obviously you know not to act on it, it's illegal and I'm glad you have no intention on doing so. The fact you feel some sort of shame actually tells me your a good person, someone else might think there's nothing wrong with the idea on cheating on their wife with a teenage girl whilst she's at home nursing a baby.

I can't speak on the behalf of your wife as I've never had a child, but I can imagine (and I've been told) how you feel afterwards. I wouldn't want sex for a long time if I had recently pushed a baby out of me. If your wife had a traumatic birth which resulted in some scarring and stitches, she wouldn't feel physically up for sex, I know I wouldn't. It may take a while for her to heal, much longer than 2 months. Same with losing the pregnancy weight, it took my mum nearly 4 years to get back down to a size 8 after she gave birth. A woman's physicality and mentality change after she has baby, some suffer post-natal depression, some lose their sex drive...

Also, she's recently given birth so you must both be knackered all the time looking after the little one, the last thing I want at the end of a stressful day is to have sex. You're going to have to deal with it, I'm afraid. Going elsewhere for sex because your wife is not up to it is downright shameful, you clearly realise that though so good on you. Give your wife any help she may need like I'm sure you're doing already. Someone already said you should masturbate which I do actually agree with, it'll calm you down a little.

At the end of the day, I wouldn't feel bad about this and I'd say it's quite natural. As long as you don't act on it, don't put yourself down about your feelings, it's not like you can help the way you feel.

 

[Piecewise]

You're attracted to attractive girls? Congratulations, you have a pair of testicles and sex drive.

Is this some sort of american thing where people are terrified of their own sexual urges, regardless of their desire to act on them?

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

Any healthy heterosexual man on the planet would sleep with a fully-developed 15 year old girl if there were no consequences. No reason to feel guilty about something hardwired into the overwhelming majority of all male biology.

The guilt may serve, however, to scare you into behaving yourself. That might be a good thing.

Anyways, it sounds like you were pretty happy nailing your wife before the baby came along and ruined everything, so just man up and tell your wife that you are fucking horny. Make fun of the situation, your hormones, and yourself. Keep it lighthearted and she won't feel pressured. The goal is to make her aware of the issue while reassuring her that it's not going to wreck you guys. From that position, she'll be more comfortable with (and willing to) "render aid". Just don't run it into the ground or show signs of anger/frustration. "New baby" is a stressful time for any marriage, so tread lightly.

And remember: it's not like you're never gonna have sex again. Anticipate that she will recover her sex drive at some point (most new mothers definitely do), and then you can make up for lost time. If it's a more persistent problem, you'll have to reassess your situation and consider more options.

It's better to control the circumstances than mess the bed with your wife right there, uncomprehending.

Unless you think it will help her get the fucking message.