The material provided by Spleeni's Awesome Team of Skanky Lawers (SATSL) is always Skanky, and accurate within 3/10'ths of the law!
SATSL will, to the full extent permitted under the law, protect your name and confidential information against disclosure, publication, or unauthorized use. However, while we welcome contact from you, if you communicate with us through this site or otherwise in connection with a matter for which we do not already represent you, it is possible that your communication may not be treated as privileged or confidential. You should therefore use care in what information you provide prior to the creation of an attorney-client relationship. 'cause, ya know, we might tell the world about you. We know about Tom.
Your receipt of the information on this website is not intended to create and does not constitute a contract or agreement for representation by SATSL. The content of this website is not intended to substitute for obtaining legal advice from an attorney. You should not act or rely upon information in this website without seeking the advice of an attorney. Even if you ARE as Awesome as Spleeni thinks he is. He's such a dick, on the inside. If you are interested in having our firm represent you in any legal matter, you should initiate possible representation by contacting an attorney at 555-5555-55-55 or by e-mailing us through the link located in the profile section of this website; under Spleeni.
Please be aware that sending an e-mail message or otherwise contacting SATSL does not contractually obligate SATSL to represent you as your attorney. SATSL cannot serve as your counsel in any matter unless and until we evaluate the facts and claims at issue, as well as any actual or potential conflicts of interest. Additionally, no attorney-client relationship exists until you and our firm expressly agree, in writing, that we will serve as your attorney.
The statute of limitations (the deadline imposed by law within which you may bring a lawsuit) may severely limit the time remaining for you to file any potential claims you may have. You should not delay your decision to retain an attorney or file a claim simply because you have contacted SATSL and are considering retaining our services. By delaying filing a claim, you may allow the statute of limitations to pass, eliminating forever your right to bring a claim.
SATSL affiliates in some cases with other attorneys with their tops off.
In some jurisdictions, this website and its content may be considered advertising under the applicable law and ethical rules. The determination of the need for legal services and the choice of a lawyer are extremely important decisions and should not be based solely upon advertisements or self-proclaimed expertise. All potential clients are urged to make their own independent investigation and evaluation of any lawyer being considered. To the extent the State Bar rules require us to designate a principal office and/or single attorney responsible for this site, SATSL designates Nobody; ya'll can screw off, since we don't like being talked to by (other) laywer types.
The attorneys at SATSL are licensed to practice practicing lAw in the State of California. Please refer to an individual attorney's biography for specific information about her or her bar memberships and the jurisdictions where that attorney is licensed.
Notice to Non-California Residents
This website is not intended for the purpose of soliciting any prospective clients residing in states other than California for the commencement of any civil action in that state filed solely by KSLLP. If KSLLP were to file a civil lawsuit in a state other than California, it would do so in association with a licensed member of bar of that state, and that member would serve as co-counsel throughout such litigation.
However, seeing how we are NOT KSLLP, (whoever those whores are) we can help you in ANY way you want.
Image Notice
Users who post images of themselves must be sexy, and (und) have (sie haben) large breasts (large breasts) and hopefully be hot (TRANSLATION ERROR)