I could be talking to the entirely wrong group of people about this, but here we go anyways

[bdcjacko]

So I have a 7 year old step son. And lately as soon as he gets up in the morning or gets home from school or we come back from doing something he makes a beeline for the living room to play video games. Even though I enjoy playing games myself, there is just something about how he only wants to play video games when he is home that bothers me. Maybe it has to do with he has thrown temper-tantrums when someone else is watching that and he wants to play.

Now if anyone is wondering, he is playing super Mario brothers 3 or Mariokart.

 

[Wolfwood1203]

I feel you on that one. My 8 year old nephew can and will play for the entire day if you let him. But like you said, it's more about the tantrum when they don't get to play that bothers me.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

Sounds like my cousin was. He needs to be regulated, its not healthy for a young mind to be living in a totally holed up world like that! He needs to get out, and do things that will exercise his mind more! Hell, dont get me wrong, I love video games too, but even I have to regulate myself as an adult, and playing in all my free time affects my mood and my work! Gotta get a bit of variety in!

 

[The Floating Nose]

You need to pull the plug on his video games for a moment and push him to play outside. Go take a walk with him, throw a football back and forth, play basketball. Let him throw his tantrums, eventually he'll calm down.

 

[Archangel768]

If that's all he does then you need to set boundaries and make sure he doesn't spend all his time playing games. Make sure it doesn't get in the way of the more important thing like doing homework etc whatever more important obligations he may have.

 

[Blue Hero]

Tell him that the government has made it illegal for people under the age of 17 to play video games for more than 1 hour each day and that his parents will be thrown in jail for up to 5 years if he plays them for too long.

 

[Edd4224]

Feel free to ignore me as I am only twenty and have very little practical experience other than vague memories and talking with my mum, who teaches small children, but maybe try and limit the time he spends playing video games? Try to do something like take him for a walk or maybe play board games or even kick a football around in the garden?

Again, do feel free to call me silly and ignore me as I have no proper practical experience raising children, but don't be too afraid to say no once in a while.

There, I will go back under my rock. Good luck with him.

 

[Outright Villainy]

You need to pull the plug on his video games for a moment and push him to play outside. Go take a walk with him, throw a football back and forth, play basketball. Let him throw his tantrums, eventually he'll calm down.

Personnally, yeah you are talking to the wrong kind of people. Because im pretty sure that a lot will tell you that you don't need to pull the plug on his video games because they are always trying to defend video games.

Pulling the plug is a bit drastic though, and won't really help long term. Cutting back however, is perfectly fine. If he can't play at all, he'll be more likely to be defiant and do it anyway whenever he can, and even without a console, kids will find a way.

However, if you say he can play an hour and a half or so a day (for example, whatever time seems good can be decided case by case), and tell him if he goes over that, he doesn't get to play for 3 or 4 days, then he'll have his games and be happy, while still have plenty of time for other things to. Also importantly, he'll have something to fear if he breaks the rules, whereas with no games at all, he has nothing to lose. It's a matter of balance, too much games is bad yes, but completely banning won't help anyone.

 

[PureChaos]

let them throw a temper tantrum, they only throw a temper tantrum because they know it will allow them to get their own way. if you say no, don't then give in because they have a tantrum.

 

[Paladin2905]

When I was younger (a decent time ago), my parents had a system where I could earn time to play video games by practising my piano lessons. Chores were expected and not something I got time for, but since piano practise was more of a hobby, I'd get a half hour of video games for a half hour of practise, etc.

It really turned out to be a good system, I ended up working much harder on the piano because I wanted to play games. In turn, it also made me appreciate the time I could play the games more. Might be worth trying out.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I normally advise people not to take advice from net randoms, however, this:

let them throw a temper tantrum, they only throw a temper tantrum because they know it will allow them to get their own way. if you say no, don't then give in because they have a tantrum.

Sounds like good advice to me.

 

[Macgyvercas]

When I was a kid, I was only allowed to play video games for a specified amount of time, and only after my chores were done. I think I earned game time in incriments of 15 minutes.

 

[Batou667]

So I have a 7 year old step son. And lately as soon as he gets up in the morning or gets home from school or we come back from doing something he makes a beeline for the living room to play video games. Even though I enjoy playing games myself, there is just something about how he only wants to play video games when he is home that bothers me.

Kind of reminds me of myself when I was about 10 and younger. I damn well loved videogames. At school I got teased, semi-bullied and generally made to feel awkward and uncomfortable. My home life was... well, completely normal, which was like watching paint dry if you were 10. Videogames were my escape, inspiration, therapy and creative outlet all rolled into one. And yes, I could quite happily sit for hours "vegetating, hypnotised by the damn machine under the goggle-box until my eyes went square and my nose left greasy marks on the screen" (to quote my endlessly understanding father).

I remember one time where we had just arrived home after a long and dull car journey. As soon as we got through the front door I ran straight to the games console and started playing. My dad started doing his usual huffing-and-puffing hystrionics complaining that "we've only just got in, let's at least settle down first, don't you think it's a bit much?"

From his viewpoint, I had started playing without waiting at all.

From my viewpoint, I had been waiting patiently for the last 2.5 hours car journey.

------------------------------------

My general remarks:

- Cut kids some slack. They may not have grown-up responsibilities like jobs or housework, but don't for a minute think that being a kid is easy - or even pleasant a lot of the time. Of course, the little bligters have it 100 times easier than we did... and that's exactly what your father said about you, and his father before him, etc.

- Put things in perspective. I'm sure there are certain activities you could happily do for hours at a time, which would bore other people senseless. Some people read for hours without stopping when they've got a good book. Some women watch about of 3 hours of soap operas each and every day. Let the kid have his guilty pleasure.

- Everybody loves escapism, especially children. But if he seems to be wilfully shutting himself away from the world, try investigating whether he's happy at school, or is there some tension at home that he's retreating from?

- Find a game the two of you can play together!

- Encourage other hobbies and activities. Don't fall into the trap of choosing something that's the polar opposite of videogames to "even the balance". If he's an unathletic and introverted kid, then no, football classes probably won't be his thing and might actually discourage him from leaving his comfort zone. Try some board games or Warhammer instead, maybe. Softly-softly is the key (and ideally, work it out so that the kid thinks it was his idea all along)

 

[bdcjacko]

Oh, I completely agree with limiting his video game playing. This could be my own hang up, but I don't want him playing before he goes to school. After school is fine, but first thing in the morning on a school day seems wrong.

But the problem is I am step dad, and right now I am living with his mom and his grandma in grandma house. And grandma gives in to his ever whim and doesn't believe in saying no to a child. I know we need to get our own place and we are working to that goal.

But mostly it makes me feel good that other gamers feel that same way I do.

 

[bdcjacko]

Oh, I completely agree with limiting his video game playing. This could be my own hang up, but I don't want him playing before he goes to school. After school is fine, but first thing in the morning on a school day seems wrong.

But the problem is I am step dad, and right now I am living with his mom and his grandma in grandma house. And grandma gives in to his ever whim and doesn't believe in saying no to a child. I know we need to get our own place and we are working to that goal.

But mostly it makes me feel good that other gamers feel that same way I do.

You need to talk to your wife. If she is onside, she needs to talk to her mother.

Lol, she has, she has. She has been fighting this battle longer than me.

 

[Emurlahn]

Watch the Extra credits episode on gaming addiction. There is some mighty fine tips.

 

[Fishyash]

Sometimes when I let my 5 year old brother play games.

However if he starts getting stressed out or starts having a tantrum I instantly turn off the game and don't let him touch it.

I think he cherishes the moments he gets to play the games because I don't really let him play that much, but I think he is aware that if he starts whining he loses his chance of playing.

My parents aren't too bothered about it though, they don't know how to set up any consoles and always turn to me, so I tend to be the one in control of when he gets to play. Also, interestingly enough, he always wants me to play too. I guess I should be more willing to do so though, despite not really wanting to.

However I guess I am fine on the fact that there are things he would rather do than play videogames, even if he enjoys them a lot.

 

[Edd4224]

Oh, I completely agree with limiting his video game playing. This could be my own hang up, but I don't want him playing before he goes to school. After school is fine, but first thing in the morning on a school day seems wrong.

But the problem is I am step dad, and right now I am living with his mom and his grandma in grandma house. And grandma gives in to his ever whim and doesn't believe in saying no to a child. I know we need to get our own place and we are working to that goal.

But mostly it makes me feel good that other gamers feel that same way I do.

You need to talk to your wife. If she is onside, she needs to talk to her mother.

Lol, she has, she has. She has been fighting this battle longer than me.

It may be a losing battle. Grandparents like to spoil their grandchildren something rotten. Distract him with a task before school perhaps? Making his own sandwiches? Admittedly that may open a whole new can of worms with regard to healthy foods and such (and if anyone mentions the hypocrisy of a university student mentioning healthy food, may the gods help you).

 

[Torrasque]

Oh, I completely agree with limiting his video game playing. This could be my own hang up, but I don't want him playing before he goes to school. After school is fine, but first thing in the morning on a school day seems wrong.

But the problem is I am step dad, and right now I am living with his mom and his grandma in grandma house. And grandma gives in to his ever whim and doesn't believe in saying no to a child. I know we need to get our own place and we are working to that goal.

But mostly it makes me feel good that other gamers feel that same way I do.

You need to talk to your wife. If she is onside, she needs to talk to her mother.

Lol, she has, she has. She has been fighting this battle longer than me.

If he's 7, he might be able to understand that playing games all the time and doing nothing else is bad, or that at his age he should be getting outside more. Don't just tell him to go outside and then go back to gaming yourself though, go outside with him. You might have to limit your own gaming in order to limit his.