I don't like babies

[Dr. Doomsduck]

Babies are cute.

I just...maybe I have some maternal instinct but when I see one I just go "D'awwww look at the tiny alien!"

I'm the same about kids and yes, even teenagers. It's just cute watching them figure out shit in life that you already know.

That doesn't stop me from feeling like this every once in a while:

 

[Dr. Doomsduck]

snip

That's priceless! I have to try that with one of my cousins! XD

 

[disgruntledgamer]

I made the mistake of saying unborn children lead a parasitic existence...even though it's technically correct. TECHNICALLY the child can only live in the womb of it's host (ie mum), cannot exist on it's own, takes nutrience, and doesn't give anything in return (no, "love" doesn't count). This is not unlike the worms I see crawling around in vomit/puke of pets :3. I've only found one mother who actually understood what I was talking about and actually said I was right lol. I get the same kind of response when I call white tigers "mutants" (because...yanno, they are). Calling a beautiful, sacred thing such an "ugly" word. Just some food for thought.

Technically this is NOT correct both in definition and the fact that having a child reduces the risk of breast cancer significantly if you have a baby before the age of 30. Also health problems such as endometriosis, uterine fibroids, and polycystic ovaries are also decrease or lessen regardless of age.

So there are heath benefits for having children, however ladies be careful who you have it with because new studies show that male DNA from having a babies can wind up in your brain. So if you find you really dislike your Significant Other you just might end up with his Y chromosome swimming around your head... FOREVER!

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

I wouldn't say hate is the right word so much as indifference; I find it hard to muster hatred towards something that has less self-awareness than my cat. That said I do hate the noise they make and I really don't see the fascination/what exactly is supposed to be so 'cute' about them, in fact I'm kinda creeped out by them if anything. Then again I don't really have much affinity for kids in general. I don't really see the appeal, but to each is own I guess.

 

[BlackStar42]

They're lungs covered in skin. I know of no other mammal that can produce such an appalling racket for hours upon hours on end. And there is always one, every single time I ride a train or plane. ALWAYS.

 

[bafrali]

Shame. I like those cute little buggers. Especially when they grab your finger with their small hands. They have a mean grip, i tell you.

 

[Elvis Starburst]

Well, I'm sure it's been said, but I feel like throwing my hat into the ring. I HATE babies and kids. Sure, when they're being calm and actually fun they can be somewhat enjoyable to be around. But every other moment, I just want them to shut up. Like this one time at work, a kid asked his mom a question out loud and she wasn't paying attention, so he continued to say "Right, mom?" 7 times before she finally got off her god damned phone to answer the little shit. Oh, and the screaming and crying. DO NOT EVER WANT IN MY LIFE.

*ahem* So, yeah, that's my opinion. I'm sure I'll have kids eventually, but maybe not for another 7-10 years. Though I'm not really hard pressed to do it. If my partner didn't want kids, I'd say sure. If we changed our minds, but she didn't wanna do the pregnancy thing, I'm sure we could just adopt. I'm in no rush to bring about one of the little things in my life. If I ever did, I'd make sure they did not scream, cry, yell, hit, or do anything mildly annoying without proper reason. Call me a strict parent, but that's not quite it. I'd just teach them how to be less a pain in the ass, for not only my sake, but everyone else's I'm sure.

Edit: Not to mention the money involved, the stupid baby voices, the fact that they kinda creep me out, etc etc...

 

[Baron von Blitztank]

I can never look a baby the same way since I found out about A Serbian Film, I can tell you that!
Before they were just irritating sacks of doughy flesh. Now they haunt me...

 

[meepop]

The only thing I like less than babies is the way other people act around them. Making those stupid noises and singing stupid songs over and over and over. Honestly it gets to a point where I want to scream at them to shut up.

Do you feel the same way when people act like that around dogs? Or other animals? Because people sometimes use the same sort of voice around pets/animals.

OT: Good for you that you don't like babies. Personally, I don't mind all that much... I get annoyed when a baby is crying and the jackass parents won't shut the baby up or take him/her out when they're crying. Even worse when the parents say "SHHH!" This is especially bad in church where there is in fact a crying room. I don't like spit-up or babies messing themselves either.

Yet, there are two issues here: No one asks you to like them. People may expect you to like them. But most of the Atheists I know are willing to come out with their beliefs despite knowing they'll be attacked for being a "godless heathen" or whatever the case. Why can't you do it? Babies are disgusting, loud, and obnoxious. But like any thing you put work into, it pays off in the long run. I'm sure there are many who would disagree with me, but that is the truth.

 

[renegade7]

Some people think that everyone should love babies. And if you don't love babies, they tell everyone they can that you are a child hating pervert or something.

That, or someone with a baby thinks that she is god's gift to mankind for doing what animals have been doing for a billion years (making more of themselves) and is emotionally wounded at the mere THOUGHT that someone might not care that their greatest accomplishment in life is dropping a screaming pink goblin covered in amniotic fluid (thank you, The Oatmeal) out of her vagina.

Then there is the marketing. Kids are not that cute. Those baby product commercials do not show them as they really are: a hybridization of human being and eternally screaming shit geyser.

If you have a kid, you will no longer be in charge of your own destiny. You will never again know a full night's sleep. You have to micromanage the life of this tiny little asshole, whom you hate because deep down every one of its flaws is a reflection of your own, until he or she is a teenager and hates your guts and breaks your rules, probably steals from you, and in general makes your life difficult. And then as a good bye he or she takes $150,000 to spend 4 years drinking and fucking. And that's all if your spouse hasn't used them as pawns in a bloody divorce, wherein you now have to pay her $5000 a month because she's allegedly better with kids.

And of course some people here this and say "Well giving up your life is the most beautiful part of having a child!" To which I say "Really? Sounds like crushing debt, enormous expense of resources and time, and physical and emotional hardship" to which I get the response "Well that's just because you just don't understand/have the responsibility"

You're right. I don't understand any of it. I can barely tolerate children. I am never, ever having any of the little assholes.

 

[AlbertoDeSanta]

For quite some time I was neutral towards babies. Now? I loathe them. Being forced to live in a house with a 2 Year old and a 6 month old for 4 months will do that to even the most enduring people. I can assure you, every annoying thing a baby or toddler would do, I had to face it. It's also made me consider never having children.

 

[predatorpulse7]

I feel like a freak here for liking babies.

I mean, I like being able to give them back but they're very sweet and innocent. They've never done anything so I don't get why you'd hate them, unless you hate that people expect you to love them as much as they do.

Together in liking children, alone! D:

It's mostly gamers who dislike kids, as far as I've seen. I'm not sure why.

It's because quite a lot of gamers are young people themselves(teens or pre-teens) and/or manchildren(in the case of some guys).Entering parenthood means that you know have a bigger responsability than your own life and many,many people don't want to deal with that even if it means that they won't have any descendants.

Some hate them just to be contrarian(I'm so edgy, I hate all kids!!!), some don't realize that a young kid is no more responsable for his/her actions than a young animal would(no self awareness at the time) and those older kids that annoy you are products of bad parenting.

As a guy I've always been neutral towards other people's kids(whereas the women in my office absolutely go gaga when anyone enters with a kid) but I always got along with my young cousins, even when they under 5.

 

[neoontime]

I can see them growing up to be self centered, whiny, cruel, and selfish. At least sharks don't grow up to bully and be cruel; they just hunt, because it is their nature.

I thought if a baby grew up to be self centered, whiny, cruel, and selfish, it was due to piss poor parenting. Maybe I am mistaken. I dunno.

Yes, finally. People on escapist generally tend to consider babies and children as aliens of "lungs covered in skin" and "just irritating sacks of doughy flesh". Yes they due tend to cry and misbehave for the hell of it but most of the time it's from bad parenting. I know, my mother kept me in line and I became well behaved and unless you're "self centered, whiny, cruel, and selfish" I don't see why you or anyone else can't teach a kid not to be like that. I have a niece that does tend to ***** and moan for no reason but overtime, she has become less and less of that due to my sister's parenting. Though she has started to be a little thieve, my sister hasn't stopped disciplining her. Yes baby can be annoying brats at first but there are people who parent them well, and I guess they are at least pleasant. I understand if someone just doesn't like them cause they aren't exactly enjoyable (although I enjoy teaching my niece things and making her laugh) but damning them cause some parents suck at raising their kid isn't all that fair.

 

[kgpspyguy]

Ive always felt that genuinely hating a baby just because it annoys you in a restaurant or bus conveys a level of immaturity far beyond that of your average preschooler, You screamed in public when you were that age too so suck it up and act your age.

 

[chozo_hybrid]

I'm on the "I don't mind them side" but what you have to remember, is that most people only really care about their own kids and those of their close friends.

But all those annoying things they do, chances are every one of us (well behaved, silent or not.) did those very things that annoy us about them now. I know that's bringing out the "You were one too" kind of speech, but it applies, as much as you don't think it does, it applies.

I want to be a Dad one day, but I'm willing to wait until I have more money etc to look after them.

They're lungs covered in skin. I know of no other mammal that can produce such an appalling racket for hours upon hours on end. And there is always one, every single time I ride a train or plane. ALWAYS.

Imagine being forced onto a plane, not knowing anything about where you are or where you're going and you don't recognize anyone but your parent/s. It must be such a stressful experience for them, to you it may be annoying, but at least you don't need someone to know what you need in order to no longer feel hungry or sort out something if you're in pain without proper communication. You can now do it for yourself.

 

[RandomMan01]

Ive always felt that genuinely hating a baby just because it annoys you in a restaurant or bus conveys a level of immaturity far beyond that of your average preschooler, You screamed in public when you were that age too so suck it up and act your age.

Yes, thank you. It's like people don't get that these babies don't want to be annoying. It's not like they are intentionally trying to piss off everyone in their general area, they just want to get some attention, to tell their parents "Hey, I'm tired" or, "I'm starving, can I have something to eat", or, "There's something in my diaper that's really bugging me and smells horrible, can you please help me out?" They don't know that their antics are making someone unhappy, and they have very little control of their bodies.

 

[remnant_phoenix]

Whenever pictures of a baby are brought out, I feel awkward. Society says as a woman I should gush and be enthralled by them spitting up their food while eating. I especially feel almost broken when there is a baby present and everyone around me is jiggling things in its face and doing "baby talk". Youtube videos of babies doing things reach millions of views and I wonder why I don't have that maternal instinct.

I should have prefaced this saying that I would love my future child, but I wouldn't expect people to be amazed with my child either, especially after something banal like them using a diaper. Baby animals of all kinds are very cute to me. Perhaps that is because when I see a human baby, I can see them growing up to be self centered, whiny, cruel, and selfish. At least sharks don't grow up to bully and be cruel; they just hunt, because it is their nature.

Then there is all the marketing that uses babies and play on people going crazy over them.

So when a baby is brought out, I feel pressured to act like I care. I feel like Elaine from Seinfeld when she is around babies. Who else?

I identify.

I am a parent, and I love my son more than I can describe. I laugh with him, I say all kinds of stupid stuff with him to make him laugh, and I'm amazed by even the simple, silly things the he does, like waving his arms while he walks and spouting gibberish...

BUT!

...when it's someone else's kid? I don't care. At all, really. Even if the child in question is a relative or a child of one of my close friends that I've watched grow up and have a sort of personal connection to, it doesn't matter. If photos or gushings of "ohmygoshhesaidhisfirstword!" tidings are going on around me, I, like you, find myself asking silently in my head, "Why should I care?"

Like you, I also don't expect anyone to gush over my child. Many people do, especially the grandparents, and while that's nice, I don't take offense or exception in any way if people are blase about my child.

I know that our situations aren't the same. I'm a man and you're a woman, so there is much MUCH more social pressure for you to have a soft heart for kids, but you say that you would love and cherish your own child while not having any sort of reaction to other children, so I feel were in the same boat. And to that I say: to hell with social pressure surrounding children and maternal/paternal 'rules.' There's nothing wrong with being blase about other peoples' kids, so long as you love your own and don't care if people are blase about yours in return.