I give up.

[Arsen]

Not entirely, but in spirit that is.

Okay, so I originally typed this out about five days ago initially, but as it turns out...I was a little mean-spirited and vehement in having to type it out. So, I will make this infinitely shorter, and I will be as open to criticism as I possibly can be:

- I am a 25 year old virgin.
- I have a mental onset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (repetitive tasks basically, routine/stereotyped thinking, other strange compulsions).
- I am seldom out and about. My social circles have always been limited.
- I...have absolutely no clue what to do. At all. Flirt, open up conversations out of this air...summoning the damn balls to do so.

You guys seem kind outside of the religious/political forum. Sigh. Humiliating this is.

 

[viranimus]

Ok, not sure what your looking for

1: not really a problem
2: not really a problem, it is managable (lived with an extreme case of OCD in my ex for 6 years)
3: Its not quantity its quality
4:Its all up to you.

Im assuming yoru looking for dating advice by the tone of it. I would offer more help but I am fly paper for freaks, so not only would it not work, it would cause you more trouble than you could possibly want.

 

[Phlakes]

This is quite vague. If it's about relationship advice, I'd suggest trying to get to know your friends' friends. That's the easiest way to meet new people, and if one of them is female, you already have a connection, as opposed to a random chick from a bar.

Otherwise, just wait and don't bother yourself about it.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Sounds like you are describing me right there.

In any case, don't give up. So you're a 25 year old virgin, so what? That's not something you should callously throw away just because people will judge you for it, to hell with them.

I understand about the 'seldom going out' part, I have the same problem, but that's due to my social anxiety, so all I can say is just go to a restaurant that has a bar and just hang out there, you'd be surprised who you can talk to.

I suck at flirting too, so I can see where you are coming from, but I think the key is to just not try so hard. Just try to make it casual or don't bother and see where the conversation goes. As for opening up conversations? Well, that just takes practice and just start by making comments about something that you see to someone, that's normally a good start.

I hope this helps and that I didn't offend you. And don't give up!

 

[Arsen]

Not entirely, but in spirit that is.

Okay, so I originally typed this out about five days ago initially, but as it turns out...I was a little mean-spirited and vehement in having to type it out. So, I will make this infinitely shorter, and I will be as open to criticism as I possibly can be:

- I am a 25 year old virgin.
- I have a mental onset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (repetitive tasks basically, routine/stereotyped thinking, other strange compulsions).
- I am seldom out and about. My social circles have always been limited.
- I...have absolutely no clue what to do. At all. Flirt, open up conversations out of this air...summoning the damn balls to do so.

You guys seem kind outside of the religious/political forum. Sigh. Humiliating this is.

Don't be feeling like your life means nothing. It's just tough for you, but everyone has something going on that makes them feel like utter crap. Also, most things you said are sort of relating to me in ways but maybe worse.

- I wish I was... the crap I went through, you best be a virgin until you're married (but your choice overall)
- It's not majorly going to bring you down. I have a stress disorder that makes me worry about everything I do and if I offend people. It's utterly awful to feel everyday.
- I rarely see my friends, and am home mostly by myself. I have no job yet, no College till January, not to mention getting back stabbed since I am constantly overly nice..
- Better to state then keep it in. Don't feel bad, confessions is being mature rather then trying to hide it in response of being judged.

I'm a Christian but I don't judge nor shun anyone. You're just going through a phase. I went through it at an early time. So, don't be negative toward yourself.. you can do great things you just can't put yourself down. I know you may not take these words to heart, but I am a stranger and yet I care a lot bout your post. What does that tell you?

This genuinely made me feel better. Thank you.

 

[surg3n]

I hate to say it, but find a new circle of friends. You have to be a social chameleon, get drunk, be the quirky new guy and above all, grow some balls. Talking to women is is just like any other daunting experience, like public speaking, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Concentrate on your positive aspects, if you don't have a lot of self confidence then that's probably due to the way other people treat you. Treat people with respect, and it'll all come back - you aren't dealing with little pricks at school or judgmental family members anymore. Go to new places, then it's easier to leave the socially awkward guy at the door - if it goes wrong then you just don't go back!

Everyone has issues, but you have to put a positive spin on it when meeting people. Theres every chance that the girl on the next table has some sort of quirk. You are using OCD as a barrier to protect yourself from possible embarrasment, but you'd be surprised how many women would find that adorable. Just ask yourself if OCD would stop you wanting to date someone... of course it wouldn't, nobody would see that as a showstopper.

If you just want to pop that cherry, then why not go to a music festival, it's the easiest place to get laid - look sane and have wet-wipes and your bound to score.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

if your worried about flirting try this. Dont try to say some awesome line. just talk about something completely mundane and stupid. i had a conversation with a girl at the chip shop about how much it sucks when you get halfway through a bag of chips and your out of sauce. Although i didnt ask her out...i think i might go back to that chip shop and if shes still giving me big grins like last time i will.

humour and kinda making fun of your own awkwardness can work. And if a girl smiles thats a huge giant signal right there.

 

[The_Vigilant]

Let me tell you what I learned about 2 years ago: women are as shallow as men. So, here's the secret: work out. A lot. Spend at least ten hours a week in the gym doing high intensity lifting. If you have OCD, even better. Focus that compulsion on your core muscle routine. Drink a good protein isolate. Cut the shit out of your diet. If you wear glasses, lose 'em. Contacts. If you have acne, stop touching your face and use an exfoliating wash. If you have a stupid haircut, fix it. Something that's masculine but controlled and gets the hair out of your eyes and forehead. If you have a weak chin, grow a well-trimmed goatee. If you have a strong chin, stay clean-shaven all the time. Pluck your eyebrows, trim your nose-hair, and observe good dental hygiene. Stop wearing clothes from Hot Topic. I know everybody here probably thinks that polo shirts are a jock frat boy uniform, but they look good and they're comfortable.

The rest is attitude and that's even easier. Stand up straight, chest out, stomach in, lats gently flexed. Remember you're a man and have some fucking pride. Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so. And don't be so goddamn afraid of rejection. Ask a girl to dance. The worst that could happen is she says no. But my experience is that girls respond well to aggressive moves.

If you actually do everything I just said, it will change your life. I think people told me these things but I didn't listen to them. I had to learn it on my own.

 

[Singularly Datarific]

Don't do that giving up thing. Keep living life, take the odd chance- actually, you know the crappy inspirational speech by now, so forget that. My brother wasn't married until he was 28 years old, so just don't give up hope.
You know that saying "just be yourself"? It is NOT because it makes you more likable or social. It is because when you do find someone who loves you, it will be because she loves the real you, not some act. So hang in there. I know it's a crappy answer, but just hang in there.

 

[Spoonius]

Let me tell you what I learned about 2 years ago: women are as shallow as men. So, here's the secret: work out. A lot. Spend at least ten hours a week in the gym doing high intensity lifting. If you have OCD, even better. Focus that compulsion on your core muscle routine. Drink a good protein isolate. Cut the shit out of your diet. If you wear glasses, lose 'em. Contacts. If you have acne, stop touching your face and use an exfoliating wash. If you have a stupid haircut, fix it. Something that's masculine but controlled and gets the hair out of your eyes and forehead. If you have a weak chin, grow a well-trimmed goatee. If you have a strong chin, stay clean-shaven all the time. Pluck your eyebrows, trim your nose-hair, and observe good dental hygiene. Stop wearing clothes from Hot Topic. I know everybody here probably thinks that polo shirts are a jock frat boy uniform, but they look good and they're comfortable.

The rest is attitude and that's even easier. Stand up straight, chest out, stomach in, lats gently flexed. Remember you're a man and have some fucking pride. Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so. And don't be so goddamn afraid of rejection. Ask a girl to dance. The worst that could happen is she says no. But my experience is that girls respond well to aggressive moves.

If you actually do everything I just said, it will change your life. I think people told me these things but I didn't listen to them. I had to learn it on my own.

Well said. I agree with everything you say.

I'd also like to add that it's important to respect people. Listen to what they say, learn whenever you can, and do your best to further your own understanding of the world.

 

[Instant K4rma]

Let me tell you what I learned about 2 years ago: women are as shallow as men. So, here's the secret: work out. A lot. Spend at least ten hours a week in the gym doing high intensity lifting. If you have OCD, even better. Focus that compulsion on your core muscle routine. Drink a good protein isolate. Cut the shit out of your diet. If you wear glasses, lose 'em. Contacts. If you have acne, stop touching your face and use an exfoliating wash. If you have a stupid haircut, fix it. Something that's masculine but controlled and gets the hair out of your eyes and forehead. If you have a weak chin, grow a well-trimmed goatee. If you have a strong chin, stay clean-shaven all the time. Pluck your eyebrows, trim your nose-hair, and observe good dental hygiene. Stop wearing clothes from Hot Topic. I know everybody here probably thinks that polo shirts are a jock frat boy uniform, but they look good and they're comfortable.

The rest is attitude and that's even easier. Stand up straight, chest out, stomach in, lats gently flexed. Remember you're a man and have some fucking pride. Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so. And don't be so goddamn afraid of rejection. Ask a girl to dance. The worst that could happen is she says no. But my experience is that girls respond well to aggressive moves.

If you actually do everything I just said, it will change your life. I think people told me these things but I didn't listen to them. I had to learn it on my own.

You know what? You've inspired me. What I'm workin' with right now clearly isn't getting me very far.

I must put this plan into action myself. You just described what amounts to my brother, and he is quite the ladies man.

 

[basedg0d_a0s]

i have ocd too, and it seems to be getting worse and worse. i'm trying to work on it though but mainly light switches, doors, and just basic actions i have to repeat. sometimes i have to do my sentences on here two or more times. i started noticing signs of it towards the end of last school year. it is really frustrating to deal with though and sometimes i'll spend up to a whole minute doing the same thing over and over again. how about you?

 

[Ghengis John]

Not entirely, but in spirit that is.
.

I have a hard time understanding people myself. how is

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/111958-Artist-Harvests-Flesh-Eating-Power-Of-Fungus-In-A-Corpse-Suit

"wat" the top rated comment on this story? Most people are morons. If you have a few friends and they're good friends and close friends then be happy you know a few people worth knowing. I know a lot of people who claim to have 100 friends and yet they couldn't rely on them in a pinch. If you have two friends who would take you in if you're down and out you're already ahead of the pack.

Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so.

While the rest is great advice (Though I skip the polos and go straight to dress shirts) I personally must object to this paragraph. As long as you're funny and generally nice you shouldn't have to turn yourself into the male equivalent of a Stepford wife. Forcing yourself to be something you're not is a tricky situation. Some people will transcend the mask and become the character they're playing but most will just become rampantly unhappy and feel repressed without the ability to be honest and open.

 

[blaize2010]

talking to people is easy, just keep calm and try to be humourous. also, just talk to girls like they're people, and do not creep. you don't always have to do it perfectly, but you can always practice your ability to talk. as for OCD, my sister had that, very bad, i might add, and how we finally cured her of it is we remained firm and forced her to confront the things that worried her. i won't lie, though, it got bad, she wouldn't speak to me at all because i was pretty much the only person still putting forth effort after a while. OCD is a mental condition, and once you realize you don't have to do it, you can try to exert your willpower over yourself and fix it. you have to be uncompromising, though. leave notes to not do something, come up with positive reinforcement for not doing a specific ritual all day, and basically be strict with yourself.

 

[KoalaKid]

I have two seemingly different suggestions for you. The first is that I know plenty of guys older than you that are virgins, and their only problem is low self-esteem and cowardice. They whine about not having a girlfriend all the time, but then they NEVER try to remedy this problem because their to afraid of rejection. Worse comes to worse finding a mate is a simple matter of drive and patience. If you really want a girlfriend or just to lose your virginity all you have to do is this: Firstly find an activity (preferable one that you enjoy)that allows you to speak to woman. Secondly ask out every girl you speak to for more than ten minutes. The lowlife assholes that I know that are dating attractive, nice woman are not better looking, smarter, funnier, or better in any way than the guys I know that are setting at home right now alone. The only difference is that the former wasn't afraid of being rejected, put themselves out their and eventually got a girl to say yes. You can do this.

My second piece of advice is this: desire nothing, just live, and things will be okay.

 

[Ratlover]

Your not missing out on much. Most women are drama and 70% percent of the time they are boring. Bull crap people are feeding you on how it will get better, well guess what, it often doesn't. Don't know how many people I have met that have never met anybody, hell I work with a guy who is 50 and has never had a girlfriend. Got a good sense of humor, hes doing well in the money department, he talks to women all the time, hes average looking.

 

[Griffolion]

Not entirely, but in spirit that is.

Okay, so I originally typed this out about five days ago initially, but as it turns out...I was a little mean-spirited and vehement in having to type it out. So, I will make this infinitely shorter, and I will be as open to criticism as I possibly can be:

- I am a 25 year old virgin.
- I have a mental onset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (repetitive tasks basically, routine/stereotyped thinking, other strange compulsions).
- I am seldom out and about. My social circles have always been limited.
- I...have absolutely no clue what to do. At all. Flirt, open up conversations out of this air...summoning the damn balls to do so.

You guys seem kind outside of the religious/political forum. Sigh. Humiliating this is.

1. I know a few too, they aren't that bothered, it's only as bad as you choose to see it.
2. Were you diagnosed or is that just you looking on Wikipedia?
3. Same, I have maybe 5 or 6 real friends.
4. I'm quite unsuccessful with women too, the last three girls I asked out all told me they weren't after a relationship, only a few weeks later to get with another guy!

Here's my suggestions:

1. It will come in time, just wait for the right person. Make it mean less in your mind and it will be less.
2. If there's any form of therapy you can take, take it.
3. Then get out there. Yep, it's hard and weird, but ring up one of your friends and just ask if they want to do something, or ask if there's anything going on. Most of my friends are like that, I always have to ring to see what's going down.
4. It's cliche, but all I can say is to be the real you. Be nice, polite and engaging. Don't actively attempt to flirt, and have a think about one or two light hearted topics that you could raise to talk about. If possible raise something about her, allow her to talk about herself and show your interest.

 

[Rabish Bini]

My cousin told me this:

Next time you see a cute girl on the bus, go up to her, smile, exude confidence and ask: "What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Usually gets a laugh out of her. Continue from there with a lighthearted conversation. This gets people skills and actual confidence up, and you get to meet women. DO NOT FEAR REJECTION.

 

[Frankie Villanueva]

Let me tell you what I learned about 2 years ago: women are as shallow as men. So, here's the secret: work out. A lot. Spend at least ten hours a week in the gym doing high intensity lifting. If you have OCD, even better. Focus that compulsion on your core muscle routine. Drink a good protein isolate. Cut the shit out of your diet. If you wear glasses, lose 'em. Contacts. If you have acne, stop touching your face and use an exfoliating wash. If you have a stupid haircut, fix it. Something that's masculine but controlled and gets the hair out of your eyes and forehead. If you have a weak chin, grow a well-trimmed goatee. If you have a strong chin, stay clean-shaven all the time. Pluck your eyebrows, trim your nose-hair, and observe good dental hygiene. Stop wearing clothes from Hot Topic. I know everybody here probably thinks that polo shirts are a jock frat boy uniform, but they look good and they're comfortable.

The rest is attitude and that's even easier. Stand up straight, chest out, stomach in, lats gently flexed. Remember you're a man and have some fucking pride. Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so. And don't be so goddamn afraid of rejection. Ask a girl to dance. The worst that could happen is she says no. But my experience is that girls respond well to aggressive moves.

If you actually do everything I just said, it will change your life. I think people told me these things but I didn't listen to them. I had to learn it on my own.

Finally, someone who gets it!