I give up.

[Angry Camel]

First, if your a 25 year old virgin, your doing a lot better than most people are. Imagine if you had to deal with a child at the moment that you didn't really want. That would just make things nightmarish.

I can't really relate to the OCD, I'm afraid. Although I do seem to get pretty set ways of thinking at times that make it very difficult to focus and are hard to shrug off. Stick with family if you can.

As far as friends go, it's better having a few true friend than a whole bunch of people you only half-know. Meet their friends to make others, it is a billion times easier than with total strangers.

For those ideas you have, give them a try. If they don't work, who cares? Chances are you won't see them again, so you'll only be hampered temporarily. A lot of us are already trying these things, so don't think you'll be making a potential fool of yourself alone.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Not sure I understand this thread... you are looking for a solution?

Well that is simple -> don't give a shit.

You are a virgin because you don't care all that much about sex, otherwise you would be out there busting your balls off trying to impress girls like every other monkey.
So if you're not that into it why care at all?

Focus your OCD on something productive and it will yield great results. Others have problems with it... who gives a shit?

Limited social circle again comes from not caring, so why are you bothered by it?

Flirting comes 200% easier when you don't give a shit, you are not nervous, you can talk about any random bullshit, and if the girl turns you down you haven't got a worry in the world.

That being said, the solution is simple, the practical application takes practice.

 

[Rabish Bini]

Not sure I understand this thread... you are looking for a solution?

Well that is simple -> don't give a shit.

You are a virgin because you don't care all that much about sex, otherwise you would be out there busting your balls off trying to impress girls like every other monkey.
So if you're not that into it why care at all?

Focus your OCD on something productive and it will yield great results. Others have problems with it... who gives a shit?

Limited social circle again comes from not caring, so why are you bothered by it?

Flirting comes 200% easier when you don't give a shit, you are not nervous, you can talk about any random bullshit, and if the girl turns you down you haven't got a worry in the world.

That being said, the solution is simple, the practical application takes practice.

This man/woman speaks the truth. In particular the bolded bit. Take notes.

 

[Palademon]

Let me tell you what I learned about 2 years ago: women are as shallow as men. So, here's the secret: work out. A lot. Spend at least ten hours a week in the gym doing high intensity lifting. If you have OCD, even better. Focus that compulsion on your core muscle routine. Drink a good protein isolate. Cut the shit out of your diet. If you wear glasses, lose 'em. Contacts. If you have acne, stop touching your face and use an exfoliating wash. If you have a stupid haircut, fix it. Something that's masculine but controlled and gets the hair out of your eyes and forehead. If you have a weak chin, grow a well-trimmed goatee. If you have a strong chin, stay clean-shaven all the time. Pluck your eyebrows, trim your nose-hair, and observe good dental hygiene. Stop wearing clothes from Hot Topic. I know everybody here probably thinks that polo shirts are a jock frat boy uniform, but they look good and they're comfortable.

The rest is attitude and that's even easier. Stand up straight, chest out, stomach in, lats gently flexed. Remember you're a man and have some fucking pride. Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so. And don't be so goddamn afraid of rejection. Ask a girl to dance. The worst that could happen is she says no. But my experience is that girls respond well to aggressive moves.

If you actually do everything I just said, it will change your life. I think people told me these things but I didn't listen to them. I had to learn it on my own.

I don't know why people are applauding this, it makes me feel like

Because I live by "Why the fuck do anything if I can't do it being me?"

 

[Tsukuyomi]

Indeed the best solution is to stop giving a shit. Wise people will tell you that often the best or fastest way to find something is to STOP LOOKING. I found my girlfriend of many years now when I wasn't actively looking for anyone.

Also, depending on how you handle your OCD, you can probably turn it into an asset for finding someone. How many hundreds of women around the world get disgusted with their men just throwing clothes and shit everywhere and being messy? If you're compelled to keep a tidy house/apartment? It's typically a point in your favor.

Overall, I think just remember that "the normal way" doesn't work for everyone. If it did, Match.com and places like it wouldn't be nearly as popular as they are. There's nothing wrong with being introverted or not having alot of friends. From my experience? The lack of friends is a blessing to her because you've got more time to spend with her instead of constantly "going out with the guys" and whatnot, leaving her alone. Many of my friends and co-workers suffer exactly from this problem. They wanna go out with their friends and their girlfriends/fiances/wives get grumpy about it. Their problem seems to almost come from the fact that they have alot of friends and want to spend time with them all, to the exclusion of the lady in their life. (not to mention the whole jealousy aspect, if she's programmed to be suspicious.)

Just take the advice in this thread and relax and don't worry about it. Every one of your issues likely has a simple solution once you stop worrying about the problem. Relax, don't worry, and you might be surprised at how much charm and wit you have around women when it comes down to it.

Focusing on being FRIENDS first can help alot. It diffuses any tension you have built up. Yes, you may get stuck in 'THE FRIEND ZONE!' but big deal. Remember: GIRLS KNOW OTHER GIRLS. Which means that if they know YOU, especially if they know you well, they can match you with another girl who fits you. Having female friends is worth it. Not all of them should be viewed as relationship material.

Finally, if you feel you MUST use a pickup line, I usually suggest something along the lines of: "You know, I'd offer you a pickup line, but I'm pretty sure you've heard them all."

 

[Vault101]

Let me tell you what I learned about 2 years ago: women are as shallow as men. So, here's the secret: work out. A lot. Spend at least ten hours a week in the gym doing high intensity lifting. If you have OCD, even better. Focus that compulsion on your core muscle routine. Drink a good protein isolate. Cut the shit out of your diet. If you wear glasses, lose 'em. Contacts. If you have acne, stop touching your face and use an exfoliating wash. If you have a stupid haircut, fix it. Something that's masculine but controlled and gets the hair out of your eyes and forehead. If you have a weak chin, grow a well-trimmed goatee. If you have a strong chin, stay clean-shaven all the time. Pluck your eyebrows, trim your nose-hair, and observe good dental hygiene. Stop wearing clothes from Hot Topic. I know everybody here probably thinks that polo shirts are a jock frat boy uniform, but they look good and they're comfortable.

The rest is attitude and that's even easier. Stand up straight, chest out, stomach in, lats gently flexed. Remember you're a man and have some fucking pride. Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so. And don't be so goddamn afraid of rejection. Ask a girl to dance. The worst that could happen is she says no. But my experience is that girls respond well to aggressive moves.

If you actually do everything I just said, it will change your life. I think people told me these things but I didn't listen to them. I had to learn it on my own.

aw come on glasses arnt ALWAYS bad (there are worse things)

anyway as for how to dress...to me it always baffles me why some guys cant get it right...from my perepective its SO effing simple, a decnt pair of jeans...and a decent t-shirt..thats it as a starting point

I mean try being a girl and getitng the right clothes..its a fucking nightmare (no really I'd say over half of my anxiety about life came from that) I always thourght If I were a guy I would have a feild day

but as a girl......generally I have no bloody clue (well more or less, I stick with what I like, like fashion be damned I like converse sneakers! and hoodies)

 

[Gigano]

I'd suggest doing volunteer work. Any kind really, although if you have particular interests or skills that's obviously where to look first.

Great way to get out of the house and meet new people - including those rumoured "girls" digital media have long foretold existed - and if you don't know how to pull off small-talk and such, simply focus on communicating about the tasks at hand, and other more informal interaction is bound to come about eventually. Also something that might improve your social image and CV down the line, and offer a respectable conversation starter on a topic that'll put you in a positive light.

 

[BlueMage]

Not entirely, but in spirit that is.

Okay, so I originally typed this out about five days ago initially, but as it turns out...I was a little mean-spirited and vehement in having to type it out. So, I will make this infinitely shorter, and I will be as open to criticism as I possibly can be:

- I am a 25 year old virgin.
- I have a mental onset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (repetitive tasks basically, routine/stereotyped thinking, other strange compulsions).
- I am seldom out and about. My social circles have always been limited.
- I...have absolutely no clue what to do. At all. Flirt, open up conversations out of this air...summoning the damn balls to do so.

You guys seem kind outside of the religious/political forum. Sigh. Humiliating this is.

There's only one step after giving up - deciding to go painfully or painless. Your choice.

Of course, if you're not at that point, you haven't actually given up.

 

[The_Vigilant]

I don't know why people are applauding this, it makes me feel like

Because I live by "Why the fuck do anything if I can't do it being me?"

I'm not laying out the Ten Commandments of life, I'm responding to a plea for help. The OP wanted to know how get some female companionship, and this is how you do it. If you want to be yourself - more power to you, friend, it's just not always the best way to pick up chicks.

 

[Nuclear_Suspect]

I'd say pretty much what everybody else is saying, fetch up some of the mates and go out to a bar or pub and just start talking to people.

Heck, I once heard a girl in a bar talk about how they put fruit in drinks to keep the civilization healthy, I then had a long long loooong talk about how the windmills in Denmark (Which are everywhere) is actually propulsion so we can mobilize all the little islands in a time of war, I ended up with her phone number and a few kisses

Look at it this way, no matter how odd or singular you are, in all likelyhood theres a million like you in the world and 50% are female.

So even if you think the height of entertainment is oiling up a horse, play the panflute and watch it dance around to the tune... then in all likelyhood theres a girl out there who thinks the same.

 

[surg3n]

Let me tell you what I learned about 2 years ago: women are as shallow as men. So, here's the secret: work out. A lot. Spend at least ten hours a week in the gym doing high intensity lifting. If you have OCD, even better. Focus that compulsion on your core muscle routine. Drink a good protein isolate. Cut the shit out of your diet. If you wear glasses, lose 'em. Contacts. If you have acne, stop touching your face and use an exfoliating wash. If you have a stupid haircut, fix it. Something that's masculine but controlled and gets the hair out of your eyes and forehead. If you have a weak chin, grow a well-trimmed goatee. If you have a strong chin, stay clean-shaven all the time. Pluck your eyebrows, trim your nose-hair, and observe good dental hygiene. Stop wearing clothes from Hot Topic. I know everybody here probably thinks that polo shirts are a jock frat boy uniform, but they look good and they're comfortable.

The rest is attitude and that's even easier. Stand up straight, chest out, stomach in, lats gently flexed. Remember you're a man and have some fucking pride. Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so. And don't be so goddamn afraid of rejection. Ask a girl to dance. The worst that could happen is she says no. But my experience is that girls respond well to aggressive moves.

If you actually do everything I just said, it will change your life. I think people told me these things but I didn't listen to them. I had to learn it on my own.

I don't know why people are applauding this, it makes me feel like

Because I live by "Why the fuck do anything if I can't do it being me?"

Exactly, to me that all sounded like 'Be a douche bag and you will get a girl'. If you have to flex, then your trying too hard, and most girls with a fraction of a brain will see right through it.

 

[BanicRhys]

Let me tell you what I learned about 2 years ago: women are as shallow as men. So, here's the secret: work out. A lot. Spend at least ten hours a week in the gym doing high intensity lifting. If you have OCD, even better. Focus that compulsion on your core muscle routine. Drink a good protein isolate. Cut the shit out of your diet. If you wear glasses, lose 'em. Contacts. If you have acne, stop touching your face and use an exfoliating wash. If you have a stupid haircut, fix it. Something that's masculine but controlled and gets the hair out of your eyes and forehead. If you have a weak chin, grow a well-trimmed goatee. If you have a strong chin, stay clean-shaven all the time. Pluck your eyebrows, trim your nose-hair, and observe good dental hygiene. Stop wearing clothes from Hot Topic. I know everybody here probably thinks that polo shirts are a jock frat boy uniform, but they look good and they're comfortable.

The rest is attitude and that's even easier. Stand up straight, chest out, stomach in, lats gently flexed. Remember you're a man and have some fucking pride. Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so. And don't be so goddamn afraid of rejection. Ask a girl to dance. The worst that could happen is she says no. But my experience is that girls respond well to aggressive moves.

If you actually do everything I just said, it will change your life. I think people told me these things but I didn't listen to them. I had to learn it on my own.

I could totally imagine a flag waving behind you as you "said" this.

This method might force you to be something you're not but it will make finding those first few girls a lot easier and then you will be a lot more comfortable approaching women as yourself. Plus, the working out is always a plus, unless you go too far with it, of course.

 

[HardkorSB]

Not entirely, but in spirit that is.

Okay, so I originally typed this out about five days ago initially, but as it turns out...I was a little mean-spirited and vehement in having to type it out. So, I will make this infinitely shorter, and I will be as open to criticism as I possibly can be:

- I am a 25 year old virgin.
- I have a mental onset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (repetitive tasks basically, routine/stereotyped thinking, other strange compulsions).
- I am seldom out and about. My social circles have always been limited.
- I...have absolutely no clue what to do. At all. Flirt, open up conversations out of this air...summoning the damn balls to do so.

You guys seem kind outside of the religious/political forum. Sigh. Humiliating this is.

I don't know if this helps but there are a lot of socially awkward, 20-something year old virgin girls out there as well.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

Let me tell you what I learned about 2 years ago: women are as shallow as men. So, here's the secret: work out. A lot. Spend at least ten hours a week in the gym doing high intensity lifting. If you have OCD, even better. Focus that compulsion on your core muscle routine. Drink a good protein isolate. Cut the shit out of your diet. If you wear glasses, lose 'em. Contacts. If you have acne, stop touching your face and use an exfoliating wash. If you have a stupid haircut, fix it. Something that's masculine but controlled and gets the hair out of your eyes and forehead. If you have a weak chin, grow a well-trimmed goatee. If you have a strong chin, stay clean-shaven all the time. Pluck your eyebrows, trim your nose-hair, and observe good dental hygiene. Stop wearing clothes from Hot Topic. I know everybody here probably thinks that polo shirts are a jock frat boy uniform, but they look good and they're comfortable.

The rest is attitude and that's even easier. Stand up straight, chest out, stomach in, lats gently flexed. Remember you're a man and have some fucking pride. Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so. And don't be so goddamn afraid of rejection. Ask a girl to dance. The worst that could happen is she says no. But my experience is that girls respond well to aggressive moves.

If you actually do everything I just said, it will change your life. I think people told me these things but I didn't listen to them. I had to learn it on my own.

I don't know why people are applauding this, it makes me feel like

Because I live by "Why the fuck do anything if I can't do it being me?"

Yeah, that block of text felt like a "How to Pick up Chicks 101" lecture from one of those skeezy dudes who's just interested in scoring as often as possible.

Getting in shape and dressing nice/grooming yourself are all good ideas for impressing people, but develop your own style and be yourself (corny advice, but powerful).

 

[Doitpow]

Do you have girl-friends? Friends who are girls?
If you do, genuinely ask them for advice, or if you have the pluck, for them to set you up with someone (this usually ends with disaster, but it's good practice, and it sidesteps the akward 'asking a girl out' bit).
and seriously don't worry about being a virgin at 25. The world isn't nearly as sex-crazed as the media would have you beleive, I have a friend who lost his his virginity at 30 and has the happiest relationship I know.

 

[Raddra]

Go to your doctor and talk.
Seriously.
They can get you help.

 

[Palademon]

I don't know why people are applauding this, it makes me feel like

Because I live by "Why the fuck do anything if I can't do it being me?"

I'm not laying out the Ten Commandments of life, I'm responding to a plea for help. The OP wanted to know how get some female companionship, and this is how you do it. If you want to be yourself - more power to you, friend, it's just not always the best way to pick up chicks.

Yeah, but advice like that, that goes beyond the simple helpful stuff, and tells someone to act a certian way will pick up chicks, but chicks in a bar, not the chicks you'd have a meaningful and uplifting relationship with.

 

[Palademon]

aw come on glasses arnt ALWAYS bad (there are worse things)

anyway as for how to dress...to me it always baffles me why some guys cant get it right...from my perepective its SO effing simple, a decnt pair of jeans...and a decent t-shirt..thats it as a starting point

I mean try being a girl and getitng the right clothes..its a fucking nightmare (no really I'd say over half of my anxiety about life came from that) I always thourght If I were a guy I would have a feild day

but as a girl......generally I have no bloody clue (well more or less, I stick with what I like, like fashion be damned I like converse sneakers! and hoodies)

I don't think you have to think more about what you wear just because you're female. Just wear what you want. I even prefer the look of girls that isn't like they're showing off, like they're just wearing casual clothes. I get a weird feeling from girls who dress stereotypically girly that makes me think I wouldn't like them very much. I don't like it when people express fashion as important.

 

[Lyri]

I don't know why people are applauding this, it makes me feel like

Because I live by "Why the fuck do anything if I can't do it being me?"

Are you saying you can't take care of your body and your health, dress a little smarter without being you?

If you are, I don't know what to say to you.