I got Ebola, what do I do? D:

[Irick]

Thank Grandfather Nurgle for blessing you with such a powerful sickness!

Soon you'll be spreading such joy and suffering to so many people that you'll be a daemon prince before you can "Nurgle loves me!", you're going places Taco!

Wait.
The Daleks are part of the forces of chaos?
...
No, no, actually that makes too much sense.

Right, done with the universe, throwing mars into the eye of terror. Have fun with the Void Dragon bitches, I'm out.

 

[Flutterguy]

Run to your nearest scientologist temple. QUICK!

Spoiler: Oh man... I should not have said this.. I'll need a whole fleet of lawyers by tomorrow!

But srsly I will eat tacos everynight if you pull this off escapbro!

 

[ObserverStatus]

Guis
I got Ebola and I dunno what to do. Am I gonna die? ;_;
I knew I shouldn't have trusted that nice nurse but mah dick has a mind of it's own sometimes, I swear >.>
OT: I'm running out of time, what do you people think is the best course of action now?

Supposedly, positive feelings can increase your chances of surviving any disease. Try hugging random people.

 

[Jak2364]

Well, you know what they say; "You can't spell Ebola without EA"! So, you know, enjoy your last few moments of life playing every EA game you can get your hands on and maybe you'll find the cure hidden in one of them. My bets on the Syndicate reboot. Just seems like the perfect place to hide a cure.

 

[Adam Lester]

Guis

I got Ebola and I dunno what to do. Am I gonna die? ;_;

I knew I shouldn't have trusted that nice nurse but mah dick has a mind of it's own sometimes, I swear >.>

OT: I'm running out of time, what do you people think is the best course of action now?

Spoiler: Joke Ruiner

No, I don't actually have ebola but #TakeBackEscapistForums

Drop to your knees and thank the gods for the blessing that you have received. Soon the metamorphosis shall begin and when you emerge from your cocoon, you shall emerge as something far beyond our comprehension as mortals. And then, you shall open one of your thirteen mouths and sing the song that ends the world.

 

[PsychicTaco115]

EbolA

Oh well, at least it's not Sims 4 DLC

Drop to your knees and thank the gods for the blessing that you have received. Soon the metamorphosis shall begin and when you emerge from your cocoon, you shall emerge as something far beyond our comprehension as mortals. And then, you shall open one of your thirteen mouths and sing the song that ends the world.

13 mouths seems excessive, can't I have a few extra arms or something?

Supposedly, positive feelings can increase your chances of surviving any disease. Try hugging random people.

I would but normal people don't seem to want to have any physical contact with me *^*

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

Catch another disease. The germs will fight each other and your antibodies can mop up the survivors.

 

[jamail77]

I really needed this. Thanks for the laugh. After a long day at work, concerns over my current college grades, and my insomnia that is affecting the former it's a pleasure to come to these forums and see something fun or funny for once. I'd rather not see something about stupid gossip or that controversial issue going on right now that shall not be named, both of which are taking up WAY too much of the forum space and kind of defeating the point of these forums in the first place if you ask me. It's not that people shouldn't be discussing that stuff, but the obsession over that stuff is a little overboard at this point. Anyway, this was refreshing and appreciated.

Oh, I guess have to contribute to the joke of this now. Ummmmmmmmm...ooh, I know.

See that guy? See how much more concerning that other stuff is? Go get obese and/or addicted to tobacco or alcohol. I'm sure one of those will cancel out the Ebola. After all, 2 deadly things cancel each other out, right? Like Leela said in Futurama global warming isn't a big deal because it will get cancelled by nuclear winter

 

[RicoADF]

Supposedly, positive feelings can increase your chances of surviving any disease. Try hugging random people.

Well played my friend.

OT: Well obviously you need to both follow the above advice and sleep around as much as you can, make the most of your final hours! I suggest a night out on the town.

Spoiler

I feel so bad for joking about this

 

[Guffe]

You are lucky my friend!
Your name suggests you already have the power to cure yourself in your hands!
You have to make a Taco, the ingredients which you need to cure the ebola are:
Snow from the Antarctic
Unicorn hair, from the tail
Grass growing around the Uluru ("red mountain")
Onions roasted in dragonsfire
and
Swedish meatballs

 

[iamjustin]

got Ebola? have a check. quarantine

 

[Thaluikhain]

I believe Taylor Swift recommends shaking it off.

 

[Caiphus]

I believe Taylor Swift recommends shaking it off.

I hear that if you live in America, you have a higher chance of being dumped by Taylor Swift, than of dying from Ebola.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I believe Taylor Swift recommends shaking it off.

I hear that if you live in America, you have a higher chance of being dumped by Taylor Swift, than of dying from Ebola.

Now that you mention it, yeah.

Mind you, if you annoy Taylor Swift, she might immortalise you in song. Have I mentioned I don't much like country music?

 

[Caiphus]

Now that you mention it, yeah.

Mind you, if you annoy Taylor Swift, she might immortalise you in song. Have I mentioned I don't much like country music?

Yeah, and if you die from Ebola, you get to be immortalised in a cool segment on CNN.

I feel like we see eye to eye on country music, you and me. Maybe we could write a song about it. I'm thinking with a banjo.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Now that you mention it, yeah.

Mind you, if you annoy Taylor Swift, she might immortalise you in song. Have I mentioned I don't much like country music?

Yeah, and if you die from Ebola, you get to be immortalised in a cool segment on CNN.

Unless it's a really painful song, you are still around to enjoy immortality, which is a plus.

 

[Caiphus]

Unless it's a really painful song, you are still around to enjoy immortality, which is a plus.

That's true, very wise point there. I feel like you've really blown this whole thing wide open. If there's anyone reading this who is currently searching for immortality via mass media, and is thinking of going down either the Taylor Swift or Ebola route, flick me or thaluikhain a message. Let us know if the potential quality of the song and/or opportunity to avoid a painful death is factoring into your decision.

 

[Clive_Paddington]

Guis

I got Ebola and I dunno what to do. Am I gonna die? ;_;

I knew I shouldn't have trusted that nice nurse but mah dick has a mind of it's own sometimes, I swear >.>

OT: I'm running out of time, what do you people think is the best course of action now?

Put cereal in it.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

First we find Patient 0. That means martial law and full quarantine is in effect in your hometown. Please do not panic at the men in absolutely cutting edge hazmat and biohazard gear. The flamethrowers are there for your safety and protection. Stay in your homes and please remember to place all flammable materials and accelerates on-hand in strategic areas in your home and await the cleansing. This is for your protection and safety, and the men and women (like you can tell underneath the near-astronaut like gear they're wearing) with assault rifles are just there to ensure that Patient 0 is found safely and securely. We don't want the terrorists to find him first, if they do, they win. He's in Walmart, coughing and spitting on your vegetables and deli meats as we speak. Don't panic, the B-1's are in the air with the nuclear vaccine. Do not stare directly into the flash and please gather in the middle of your town for a free concert being broadcast by U2.
Its ok, Bono is there to help with the humanitarian effort, don't mind the smell he's just a walking douchebag.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Do not stare directly into the flash

Also, remember that in shadow from the light flash is also in shadow from the heat flash coming shortly afterwards.

But then again, I've been told that you shouldn't wait to see what's in shadow, you just duck and cover and hope for the best because you won't know how long the interval between them will be.