aprilmarie said:
matrix3509 said:
doctorwhofan said:
I am a female.
25 years ago, I sent my name into Marvel Age comic book magazine for a pen pal. Not only did it take less than two months to be added, I had THREE HUNDRED responses the first month. Girl geeks were rare back then. Fast forward to today and while they are not as rare, they are rare enough to send a male geek through the roof.
Why can't a Guy nerd relate to a girl? Because, instead of spending their time postering for females, they are in the science lab, computer lab, or reading comic books, rolling 20 sided dice, or operating A/V equipment to learn to be suave. So they bumble their way through everything, or say the wrong things.
To be honest, a small prescetage of the females actually likes that. It's attractive NOT to be the center of attention. Or that the fact you are so ordianry looking as a girl (not ugly) that the only way to get that attention is through the nerds. either way, we girls worked our way through Geekdom to reproduce the second wave.
To the OP: In short, most geeks and nerds are too busy to bother with the basic social skills of talking to girls. Trust me, I know.
Part of my problem way back when was when I ever showed any vague sign of interest, there would never be any sign of interest back. I essentially gave up before the first step even began.
Why can guy nerds not relate to girls? Because (normal) girls cannot relate to guy nerds. I usually go through this whole selection process now when I meet girls. If they don't have a summary knowledge of at least one of the things I like, they immedietely go into the "Not Interested" catagory. I don't care how good you look.
You show me a woman who can debate the finer points of Jedi/Sith philosophy (hell even regular philosophy will do), or who is into programming, or who can lampoon bad movies MST3K style, and I'll show you one damn interesting woman.
In short: Nerds will never give up the things we love just to have a doomed to fail relationship with some girl that shares none of their interests.
what about to a girl who has similar interests and the guy KNOWS she has similar interests due to playing d&d with her or other table top or video games? when she says she is attracted to them? i'm talking about a girl NOT playing the game that we usually do and being upfront and direct and honest?
and for the record i can show you a woman like that....it'd be me but really i'm not that interesting. i find myself boring to myself half the time. i don't get why others find me interesting....
Ah! young Jedi, you may not get the model or the hottest girl out there, however, there is a ton of ladies these days that can talk the nerd/language. Ask my husband. You are only destined to be alone if you choose to be. So go to those conventions, gaming stores, comic book stores and practice the art of converstion. Take the typical normal male blinders off (women have it to, so I am not picking on ya!) and look around.
But the art of conversation is hard. Here are few tips: If a girl asks a question about a hobby/class/book/game you like, answer them in the shortest but most discriptive way you can. For example:
"excuse me, I see you reading that Star Wars book. I have always wondered if they finished what happened in the first three movies. Harrison Ford is so dreamy!" You will NOT tell her of the plot of any book in detail. But you could say something like this:
"Well, yes they do. There is alot of them out there-too many to discribe but Leia and Han do get married, and have children! But the real romantic stuff happens to Luke. If you want to discuss them or a list of books, I am more than happy to give it to you! They are a very good read!"
That is short, sweet, with an invitation to stay and talk. It also gives her a way to back out without feeling uncomfortable and overwhelmed. This leaves a positive impression of you on her mind, and she is more likely to approch you again. SHe mentioned Harrison Ford is "dreamy" so focusing on romantic stuff would get her interest.
Also talk slower, and use commen and simple words. SHe may be a closet SW fan, but more likely she is a SW fan in the making. Overwhelming is something alot of geeks and nerds do, and that scares people off. If she continues the conversation with you, don't explain your favourite books and why. Give her the simplist answer and highlight the ones that would relate back to her orginal question. And answer her new questions For Excample:
"Oh could you? I have been like dying to read them, but with cheerleading practice it's been hard. And I am so sick of reading the same romance in romance books."
She didn't ask a question, but she gave you a direction. Scribble down some names and asnswer like this: "Well XX trilogy will introduce you to Mara Jade. Then in YY book, you will see how Luke and Mara decided to get married. These books have have some good Han and Leia moments. There are more but this is a good start! Just remember this is StarWars so there's some kind of glactic crisis going on. ANyways, if you have any question about any of the books or about Star Wars in particular, just let me know!"
Again, you gave her the info and you gave her a way out of the conversation. See the pattern? Just remember not to unload bookloads of information due to your enthusiam. Small steps and she will gradually come over to your how to pick up a rare copy or two, or to see you SW collection. If she does, TRIM IT DOWN!! And heaven sakes clean and dust your room!. Never overdo your geekdom from the beginning. Just add layer after layer then one day she is going to accept the SW sheets on your bed.
How do I know this? I watched the male nerds in my school do it. I also watch them fumble it alot more. A friend of mine spent 3 weeks watching the jocks talk girls up. Then, when he saw a cheerleader with a Star Trek book, he simply said it was a good one and he like the the author's others, too. a month later, she approched our table at lunch with her chemistry book (to cover her real question, all the popular people were watching) and asked him the author's other books were. He ended up marrying her and they got to Star Trek Conventions regularly.
