I have a question more geared towards the males on this forum but everyone is free to respond
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My experience is that many straight men simply don't find men, ANY men, attractive and so applying that term to themselves just feels WEIRD. In fact, they may consider the male physique to be downright disgusting--hairy, lumpy, and just not any fun to look at. They understand that SOME men are CONSIDERED attractive by women, so they base their standards off those men and since they fall short, they assume they aren't attractive.
On behalf of straight women, allow me to set the record straight: do you shave? Brush your teeth? Bathe? Use deodorant? Wear semi-decent clothes? Have a job? Occasionally emit intelligent conversation? You do? You are f*cking adorable. SERIOUSLY. Stop comparing yourself to body builders and Brad Pitt. Most women think body builders are hideous (SERIOUSLY--they look like their immense muscles are about to burst through their skin and spray us with gore) and aren't interested in Brad Pitt because we know he'd never be interested in US in a million years. Talk about turn off.
And, no, we are not going to send you clear signals (or any signals at all) until we are pretty sure that you want us. We are trained from an early age Not To Hurt People's Feelings and to Be Polite and we know very well that there's nothing more emotionally stressful/disgusting then trying to shuck off a woman you don't want who is clearly interested in you. It is painfully embarrassing when guys do this to us so we try not to inflict it on anyone else. So if you are interested in a lady, you should start showing it right off the bat in a friendly manner that shows you are totally okay with being shot down since you are a Mature Adult and capable of Coping. Don't wait until you're f*cking desperate and have been f*cking yearning after your dream girl for 3 years--by that time the method you'll choose to express your feelings will be so fantastically outre and emotionally fraught that it will freak her out and end any possibility of there being a relationship. (Either that or a number of other equally bad things will happen depending on how you handle it--or she'll just turn out to be nuts.)
That, and NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES FORGET RULE #1, which is: ALL WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT. Everything I said above applies to me and possibly a fraction of the general female population, but THAT'S IT. (From what I can tell, I'm pretty vanilla sexually, but being vanilla does not mean that even a large fraction of the female population is like me, just that I'm approximately in the middle of the wide continuum that is female sexuality.) So if you're interested in a particular woman, don't start making plans or trying to fit her into some mental pigeonhole so you know what to do. Observe her, interact with her, see what she finds positive and negative and decide whether that's a good fit with the way you normally act. Women do actually forgive even major gaffes as long as you seem capable of recognizing that it WAS a gaffe.
On behalf of straight women, allow me to set the record straight: do you shave? Brush your teeth? Bathe? Use deodorant? Wear semi-decent clothes? Have a job? Occasionally emit intelligent conversation? You do? You are f*cking adorable. SERIOUSLY. Stop comparing yourself to body builders and Brad Pitt. Most women think body builders are hideous (SERIOUSLY--they look like their immense muscles are about to burst through their skin and spray us with gore) and aren't interested in Brad Pitt because we know he'd never be interested in US in a million years. Talk about turn off.
And, no, we are not going to send you clear signals (or any signals at all) until we are pretty sure that you want us. We are trained from an early age Not To Hurt People's Feelings and to Be Polite and we know very well that there's nothing more emotionally stressful/disgusting then trying to shuck off a woman you don't want who is clearly interested in you. It is painfully embarrassing when guys do this to us so we try not to inflict it on anyone else. So if you are interested in a lady, you should start showing it right off the bat in a friendly manner that shows you are totally okay with being shot down since you are a Mature Adult and capable of Coping. Don't wait until you're f*cking desperate and have been f*cking yearning after your dream girl for 3 years--by that time the method you'll choose to express your feelings will be so fantastically outre and emotionally fraught that it will freak her out and end any possibility of there being a relationship. (Either that or a number of other equally bad things will happen depending on how you handle it--or she'll just turn out to be nuts.)
That, and NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES FORGET RULE #1, which is: ALL WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT. Everything I said above applies to me and possibly a fraction of the general female population, but THAT'S IT. (From what I can tell, I'm pretty vanilla sexually, but being vanilla does not mean that even a large fraction of the female population is like me, just that I'm approximately in the middle of the wide continuum that is female sexuality.) So if you're interested in a particular woman, don't start making plans or trying to fit her into some mental pigeonhole so you know what to do. Observe her, interact with her, see what she finds positive and negative and decide whether that's a good fit with the way you normally act. Women do actually forgive even major gaffes as long as you seem capable of recognizing that it WAS a gaffe.
Just low self esteem for me, and the fact that I never had a girl act like that with me. I'm stuck in the friends zone, too ugly and wierd to ever get involved in a romantic relationship, but trustworthy and friendly enough to be considered a really good friend.
Well, for me it's mostly because I've been rejected by any girl I've asked out. As for whether or not I'm attractive, I don't really know, some girls say I am, but I sincerely doubt it. Maybe you could tell meaprilmarie said:
Lot's of guys who believe themselves to be attractive seem to get ahead of themselves and act like they should get anything they want. Just seeing that and knowing I don't act like that, make's me believe I'm not that. People say confidence make's all the difference and a lot of people just don't have that. People tell me I am cute, but you always think it's just because they are close to you or they are being nice. You often find out too late, that saying those things could have been taken as a subtle advance. Unless you can read people well at that kind of thing, your confidence will never improve in that category.
Aha for example someone just knocked at my door and I had to just post and exit and come back to edit my post for fear he/she at the door would come in and make fun of me for even talking about this. The root of the problem is confidence and self-esteem. Done deal.
Aha for example someone just knocked at my door and I had to just post and exit and come back to edit my post for fear he/she at the door would come in and make fun of me for even talking about this. The root of the problem is confidence and self-esteem. Done deal.
To be fair, Brad Pitt is the epitome of all that is Man. Why wouldn't we want to be him?JMeganSnow said:
I dunno, I've never found myself attractive to anyone, yet I'm happily engaged so... apparently I did something right.
Nerdy Males are notoriously thick however, the media we consume can also give us unrealistic expectations towards the opposite sex (not just in terms of looks, I mean in what you expect to get out of a relationship). It's probably also a self esteem issue, most of the gamers I know were serious introverts in high school/junior high/early university.
Nerdy Males are notoriously thick however, the media we consume can also give us unrealistic expectations towards the opposite sex (not just in terms of looks, I mean in what you expect to get out of a relationship). It's probably also a self esteem issue, most of the gamers I know were serious introverts in high school/junior high/early university.
in my opinion, its the fact that a chick is showing signs of attraction towards us and we start wondering if we are up to the daunting task to live up to this woman's standards.
First of all i find that this more than commonly happens to girls, not guys.
2nd - maybe because the guy hasn't had any positive feedback from girls and has only experienced negative comments from the opposite sex. or even from other males, he may have been put down his whole life about the way he looks.
3rd - maybe he was unattractive in the past but has grown out of it, yet failed to notice his change?
4th - Quite possibly... this is his move or how he operates. He knows he looks good but acts as though he is unattractive. basically Fake Modesty: When the Player is not truly humble. Many girls (at least from my experience and what i've heard from some actual ladies themselves) are attracted to modest types, the guy who "doesn't know he's good looking".
5th - maybe he really is ugly and you need to stop drinking so much...
2nd - maybe because the guy hasn't had any positive feedback from girls and has only experienced negative comments from the opposite sex. or even from other males, he may have been put down his whole life about the way he looks.
3rd - maybe he was unattractive in the past but has grown out of it, yet failed to notice his change?
4th - Quite possibly... this is his move or how he operates. He knows he looks good but acts as though he is unattractive. basically Fake Modesty: When the Player is not truly humble. Many girls (at least from my experience and what i've heard from some actual ladies themselves) are attracted to modest types, the guy who "doesn't know he's good looking".
5th - maybe he really is ugly and you need to stop drinking so much...
First thing I thought. Seeing that I wasn't the only one just made me laugh a bit.Grimrider6 said:
Pro-tip for females: Smiling doesn't work.
Everyone is friendly. Being friendly to a guy is not sufficient.
Seriously, I know too many girls who see some huge difference to being friendly to a guy they like and being friendly to any other guy. Just because it's different IN YOUR HEAD does not mean anyone else, including the guys you like, can tell the difference. At all.
You don't have to wave your vagina in my face, but for god's sake, use one of the classics. Start talking about some kind of ethnic food you enjoy, a movie you really want to see, etc... Make it so obvious it's damn near humiliating to do. Trust me, most guys won't notice you're trying that hard.
When guys try hard we come off as crazy, so we have to try hard to come off as casual. When girls try hard, they come off as casual.
I have no idea why this is. It just... is.
Everyone is friendly. Being friendly to a guy is not sufficient.
Seriously, I know too many girls who see some huge difference to being friendly to a guy they like and being friendly to any other guy. Just because it's different IN YOUR HEAD does not mean anyone else, including the guys you like, can tell the difference. At all.
You don't have to wave your vagina in my face, but for god's sake, use one of the classics. Start talking about some kind of ethnic food you enjoy, a movie you really want to see, etc... Make it so obvious it's damn near humiliating to do. Trust me, most guys won't notice you're trying that hard.
When guys try hard we come off as crazy, so we have to try hard to come off as casual. When girls try hard, they come off as casual.
I have no idea why this is. It just... is.
I know I'm not fugly but I do tend to punch above my weight when it comes to trying to attract the opposite sex. The rejection from whom, has caused me to have fairly low self esteem and think less of myself aesthetically. Also I'd rather be modest about myself than think I'm Gods gift to all who gaze upon my radiant glory.
those are usually the guys i'm most attracted to usually. ooooh i just remembered my other question. i wonder if i should post a topic with it.........RAKtheUndead said:
my boy sits in front of his ps3 most of the time or hangs out in gamestop, i love that about him. i usually hang out in gamestop when i'm out.....
