I have a question more geared towards the males on this forum but everyone is free to respond
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*cries, runs away, writes melancholy poetry, and cuts himself*PurpleRain said:
..*sob*...he...he said so many mean things...
Probably the social stigma which surrounds being a nerd - traditonally nerds have been seen to be unattractive and displeasing to women. Really we're only acting out what the sterotype says we have to. The subconscious mind is an interesting thing when you begin to look at it.
Personally I have no idea if women are interested in me - but I've just come out of a nasty breakup at the end of a two year relationship so women aren't a shining pinnacle of brilliance in my eyes at the moment.
Personally I have no idea if women are interested in me - but I've just come out of a nasty breakup at the end of a two year relationship so women aren't a shining pinnacle of brilliance in my eyes at the moment.
I laughed hard over those two pictures.Ignignoct said:
try a hell of a lot older. i'm talking the age range of 25+ and fyi i'm 24. teenagers in general are dumb and referring to a previous post i'm a bit of a fan girl, hence the twilight avatar. look at the photo in my profile.zombi2989 said:
Why I have a poor self image.
I wrote a long version but I'll simplify it to this:
>teased about being short since I was six
>think too much
>naturally introverted
>scared to make a move because I'm afraid they will end up liking me less
tbh though I have no real idea why I'm like that, I reckon it's genetic
I'm sorry, I couldn't stop myself
I wrote a long version but I'll simplify it to this:
>teased about being short since I was six
>think too much
>naturally introverted
>scared to make a move because I'm afraid they will end up liking me less
tbh though I have no real idea why I'm like that, I reckon it's genetic
wow, a twilight fan, eeewwwwaprilmarie said:
I'm sorry, I couldn't stop myself
Most guys aren't completely oblivious or dense about girls. It's just that the relationship is usually so ambiguous that the risk of making a move is greater than the reward.
Here's a scenario every guy knows:
Guy and girl know each other through work/uni/friends/Alcoholics Anonymous. They chat. Girl seems more interested in guy's conversations than most girls, looks at guy a little more often than most girls, asks guy more questions than most girls, smiles at guy a little more than most girls.
Guy thinks:
"Is girl attracted to me? I'm almost sure girl is attracted to me. Girl is totally into me. Unless girl was just interested in what we were talking about. Or girl is just polite. No, girl obviously likes me. Girl definitely likes me as a potential boyfriend. Or just a friend. Or an acquaintance. Or maybe girl smiles at everyone like that. Doesn't girl have a boyfriend?" Etc.
That's why we need booze. Alcohol makes a perfect storm of first-move factors: increased testosterone levels for girls (they're totally hot for it); increased bravery and recklessness for boys ("screw the inevitable embarrassment!"); and a convenient excuse if it goes wrong ("ha ha remember how I tried to kiss you last night? Man I was so wasted!").
As for the Guy Who Has Girls Fighting Over Him - maybe he just can't tell when a girl is flirting because girls are always flirting with him, so it seems normal? Flirting signals can be pretty ambiguous.
ON THE OTHER HAND
When a girl comes up to a guy who she's not already with and says "let's make out" (it does happen, usually at music festivals), he assumes she's drunk, on drugs, mentally unstable or just really annoying. Until proven otherwise.
Here's a scenario every guy knows:
Guy and girl know each other through work/uni/friends/Alcoholics Anonymous. They chat. Girl seems more interested in guy's conversations than most girls, looks at guy a little more often than most girls, asks guy more questions than most girls, smiles at guy a little more than most girls.
Guy thinks:
"Is girl attracted to me? I'm almost sure girl is attracted to me. Girl is totally into me. Unless girl was just interested in what we were talking about. Or girl is just polite. No, girl obviously likes me. Girl definitely likes me as a potential boyfriend. Or just a friend. Or an acquaintance. Or maybe girl smiles at everyone like that. Doesn't girl have a boyfriend?" Etc.
That's why we need booze. Alcohol makes a perfect storm of first-move factors: increased testosterone levels for girls (they're totally hot for it); increased bravery and recklessness for boys ("screw the inevitable embarrassment!"); and a convenient excuse if it goes wrong ("ha ha remember how I tried to kiss you last night? Man I was so wasted!").
As for the Guy Who Has Girls Fighting Over Him - maybe he just can't tell when a girl is flirting because girls are always flirting with him, so it seems normal? Flirting signals can be pretty ambiguous.
ON THE OTHER HAND
When a girl comes up to a guy who she's not already with and says "let's make out" (it does happen, usually at music festivals), he assumes she's drunk, on drugs, mentally unstable or just really annoying. Until proven otherwise.
i dunno... in my case i think its because im absolutely fucking useless on sensing people making a move on me... although i can always tell when someone is attracted to someone else... as long as im not in the equation i can see exactly if someone is attracted to them..
ok off topic sorta... lol probably because im so fucking useless i dont think im particularily attractive..
ok off topic sorta... lol probably because im so fucking useless i dont think im particularily attractive..
I think it has to do with self-image, not intelligence or social skills. Some people just have a low self-image. I'm a ginormous Star Wars fan, comic book freak, and studied genetics in college. So I always thought of myself as the geeky nerdy type. But the girls I dated were always pretty hot. Couldn't understand it until one girl pointed out that I was attractive, but my ignorance of the fact was what made me even more attractive. I'm not hung up on my own looks, and that elevated me in her mind. Now there are others that won't find me attrative, and that's totally cool. I think certain women are gorgeous, others would find them not so much. Eye of the beholders, mate.
Women*Spleenbag said:
Using the term "Girl" makes us feel childish
Handshakes would be cute, course have to make sure your hand isn't all sweaty or dirty...
I may be putting my head in the lion's mouth here, but it seems unreasonable to heap the blame on the women in the situation. I've seen far, far, more examples of men seeing a woman's friendliness or niceness as a sign of attraction, to which the general advice is "just go for it, what's the worst that can happen?" Now, perhaps a standardization of what actually indicates attraction would help, but even then hope will most often triumph over experience.Aschenkatza said:
Maybe I'm nuts, but it's never been that vague to me. It's difficult if I don't have a baseline for the woman (some women are more friendly), but if she's acting decidedly different toward one guy than the rest of even her male friends, it's a good sign that something's happening there. I've seen more cases of the man either believing the woman's normal does-it-for-everyone actions are signs of attraction (things like hugs, cuddling, ect), or that he knows she likes him, but either stops liking her because of it (see my earlier post), or didn't like her to begin with, and tries to ignore it.
Because I'm androgynous to the point of being creepy, look like I haven't slept for weeks/took loads of speed previous night and don't want to be bothered by the opposite sex. Or anyone for that matter.