I Hit It With My Axe: Episode Five: Blobs and Brain Switching
- Thread starter Zak Sabbath
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Void(null) said:
"When the first post on your thread is not even a "First" leading to a suspension, but a link to another series that does what you are attempting to do but better, which is posted a good 15 minutes after your video... your show has failed."
Well, either that or you and he are plants trying to direct traffic to that site. Reminds me of Amazon.com, where you see a review of a book where the (plant) person says "Yeah, that book was good, and if you liked it you'll LOVE this one!" I'm sure the producers of I Hit it With My Axe thank you for thinking so highly of their work that you feel it will drive traffic to the videos of people playing the current edition of the world's most popular RPG. Or maybe you're trying to start a useless edition war. Or some other juvenile thing. Heck, maybe you're just pissed that you didn't get to see boobies.
Mazery said:
"... i can only take the ditsy girls for so long"
Hey dude, whatever floats your boat. But slamming the girls like that--didn't your mother teach you basic manners and how to act towards women? I guess you never felt any desire to play a Paladin or Cavalier, huh? Those pesky Chivalry rules kept getting in the way?
The Robo Chicken stuff looks good, if you like that sort of thing. But somehow I can't relate to the guys playing. It all seems so sterile. Where's the real people making do with whatever is at hand for a miniature? Plus, WTF is with those chairs right out of the Godfather? Looks like what Al Pacino used in his mansion in Scarface. Shit, even Tony Montana had a wee bit of coke on the table in front of him. Where's the chips? Soda? BEER!? ? Messiness? The METAL! playing in the background?!?! Where's the crude jokes and Star Wars tangents? Where's the scrounging for table space on a small table? Where's the shit that normal D&D groups have strewn about? I gotta say that, minus the women, my game looks a lot more like Zak's than the Robot Chicken people's game.
That being said, to each his own. I like the real people playing real games in their combo-living room/bedroom/kitchen, crackin' wise and playing a game with old friends, more than watching what's essentially a marketing video.
Zero Patern said:
"Christ, I'm so tired of people writing it off simply because it has porn stars in it, and as such must be a devious plot by the shady escapist staff to get views through exploiting our sexual frustration.
It's watchable, but it really doesn't stand out that much to tell you the truth."
See, I agree with this and with your later comment, and I think that's why people are saying they're through with the series after episode 5. What really goes on in people's minds while watching the episodes is:
"Maybe we'll finally see a tit, or some girl-on-girl action this time. Shit. Was that a boobie? Damnit! He cut away too fast! I couldn't see it. Lemme slow mo...pause...nope, no boob. Damnit! What's the sense of watching Sasha Grey if I can't whack off! Another choppy glimpse...Hold the camera still! Is that an ass cheek? No, a kneecap. Grr.. Ok, maybe next week."
Next week rolls around, lather, rinse, repeat. "Damnit! 5 episodes, 30 minutes, and still nothing to spank it to! This sucks! I quit!"
Now, what comes out of their keyboards as their reasons to stop watching are "Yeah, the video is choppy, and they're boring and dizzy people."
Yup. Whatever.
Lupercal27 said:
"Their awkwardness of what to do and their limited imaginations make this rather painful. In concept having stripper and porn stars doing anything is cool. But the concept falls flat on inception. We wnt to watch strippers and porn stars use their 'skills' in variuos other tasks, in this case play D&D. If they don't strip and or 'porn' (used as a verb) then there is no difference in watching just normal, actually cute or hot girls play."
Sooo...you don't like a video of strippers and porn stars playing D&D, because you don't want to watch strippers and porn stars play D&D...makes me wonder why you watched something billed as strippers and porn stars playing D&D then. I guess its one of those mysteries of life...like the Bermuda Triangle, the Sphinx, and how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop. I betcha if you watched one of the girls attempt to lick the Tootsie Pop while playing D&D you'd like it a lot better...
Hurr Hurr Drp said:
"I agree this was the best episode yet. Still not great, but good enough to make me give this show a second chance."
Unlike you Hurr Hurr, there are a lot of people bailing after just a few 5 minute episodes. You remember a show called All in the Family from the 70's? One of the most controversial, groundbreaking, culture-shaping shows of a generation? They went the whole first season, and the network was on the verge of cancelling it. Lucky they gave it more than 20-something 30 minute episodes to find an audience and find its voice...
For the record, I think Zak is up to a total of 30 minutes in 5 episodes now.
Dark-Reaction said:
(first of all, his name fits the comments)
"I have to agree with the lack of imagination mentioned earlier.
To pull a Yahtzee, it feels like Im watching some exotic birds struggling painfully to breath in a cloud of the pollution tainted air over Beijing.
Only the pollution is 100% pure nerd agent. And the birds do anal.
Blah, Im getting off topic.
Suggestion, should you ever try this again:
Let em play themselves as level 20 'whatevers'.
And throw em into the City of Brass.
At least they'll know what to do when a bunch of ugly creeps try to turn them into sex slaves.
And it'll be alot more interesting than watching a group of chicks whose primary defense mechanism is 'roll onto back, spread legs' feebly trying to come up with combat strategies to defeat amorphous blobs and/or expressing their utter disinterest in something that isnt a sex organ."
Sounds like somebody has some mother issues, huh? Point on the dolly to where Mommy touched you...
Before you get to the point of "It rubs the lotion on its skin," why don't you go seek some professional help buddy, and not look for S&M stuff on a video advertised as a few people playing D&D.
Void(null) chimes in yet again with:
"The problem with the show is that the focus is not the D&D, or on what the players are doing... but rather the point of focus is the players themselves.
Too much "Look, we have strippers" and not enough "playing D&D." "
Seems like you're making the focus the players day jobs, while thinking of other kinds of "jobs". Other than the hostess getting her friend the drink, and a few seconds of texting, I don't think there was much else to the vid OTHER THAN playing D&D. Now it may not be the same D&D played by Funky Chickens in the harsh cold sterile environment of the Modrons, where it looks like Felix Unger arranged everyone's character sheet on the massively oversized table that wouldn't fit in any 3 rooms of my house, but it's D&D nonetheless.
Wiezzen said:
"This series is an embarrassment to the Escapist."
Focus on the Family---in the HOOOOUUUSSSSE!
Eyeshock said:
"The plot WAS to use the porn stars to boost interest, devious or otherwise. They're not witty, smart people, or talented actresses: they are porn stars. That's why they are porn stats. They're in the show as a spectacle. While I don't watch these other DnD shows by PA and whoever these folks are linking, my assumption is the focus is the DnD game...not the spectacle.
As for this episode...I watched about thirty seconds. Mostly skipping around scene to scene. The DM remains in my opinion: ridiculously bad at his position.
If you really want success with this show, Escapist - get a good DM. Someone who will keep the flow of the video and conversations at a level that's ACTUALLY entertaining. You can leave the spectacle in, but don't keep it the focus."
Assuming you're right, and its all about the spectacle and the DM sucks eggs...you're right. No one in America cares about spectacle at all. Who would watch a show of any type just for spectacle? (TMZ, Perez Hilton, Reality TV Shows, Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, Tabloids, Nascar Crashes, Fox News, Sarah Palin----nothing but substance there...)
Assuming you're wrong, and you secretly like spectacle as much as the next guy, it makes me think you just didn't see the spectacle you were looking for. Perhaps you focused a bit too much on the porn stars and less on the D&D, and were left like Hedwig and his Angry Inch, flacidly wanting more...
Plus, who's a better DM? One who can wing it no matter what the characters decide to do, like Zak? Or someone who spends half the session telling the players how the rules dictate how they are able to respond to things, hence limiting their imaginations?
I like the show. I like the folks in it---they're regular people, having a good time. They have different day jobs than you and I, but who cares? If you come to the series looking to cum, you'll be disappointed. If you come to watch a group of friends playing D&D, and perhaps are able to let go of some of your anger issues with women (Dark Reaction) through doing so, because it triggers 16 years of intense psychotherapy visits, then so much the better. That's one less woman who ends up in a wood chipper or buried under your front porch.
I'm looking forward to the next episode...
Joe
"When the first post on your thread is not even a "First" leading to a suspension, but a link to another series that does what you are attempting to do but better, which is posted a good 15 minutes after your video... your show has failed."
Well, either that or you and he are plants trying to direct traffic to that site. Reminds me of Amazon.com, where you see a review of a book where the (plant) person says "Yeah, that book was good, and if you liked it you'll LOVE this one!" I'm sure the producers of I Hit it With My Axe thank you for thinking so highly of their work that you feel it will drive traffic to the videos of people playing the current edition of the world's most popular RPG. Or maybe you're trying to start a useless edition war. Or some other juvenile thing. Heck, maybe you're just pissed that you didn't get to see boobies.
Mazery said:
"... i can only take the ditsy girls for so long"
Hey dude, whatever floats your boat. But slamming the girls like that--didn't your mother teach you basic manners and how to act towards women? I guess you never felt any desire to play a Paladin or Cavalier, huh? Those pesky Chivalry rules kept getting in the way?
The Robo Chicken stuff looks good, if you like that sort of thing. But somehow I can't relate to the guys playing. It all seems so sterile. Where's the real people making do with whatever is at hand for a miniature? Plus, WTF is with those chairs right out of the Godfather? Looks like what Al Pacino used in his mansion in Scarface. Shit, even Tony Montana had a wee bit of coke on the table in front of him. Where's the chips? Soda? BEER!? ? Messiness? The METAL! playing in the background?!?! Where's the crude jokes and Star Wars tangents? Where's the scrounging for table space on a small table? Where's the shit that normal D&D groups have strewn about? I gotta say that, minus the women, my game looks a lot more like Zak's than the Robot Chicken people's game.
That being said, to each his own. I like the real people playing real games in their combo-living room/bedroom/kitchen, crackin' wise and playing a game with old friends, more than watching what's essentially a marketing video.
Zero Patern said:
"Christ, I'm so tired of people writing it off simply because it has porn stars in it, and as such must be a devious plot by the shady escapist staff to get views through exploiting our sexual frustration.
It's watchable, but it really doesn't stand out that much to tell you the truth."
See, I agree with this and with your later comment, and I think that's why people are saying they're through with the series after episode 5. What really goes on in people's minds while watching the episodes is:
"Maybe we'll finally see a tit, or some girl-on-girl action this time. Shit. Was that a boobie? Damnit! He cut away too fast! I couldn't see it. Lemme slow mo...pause...nope, no boob. Damnit! What's the sense of watching Sasha Grey if I can't whack off! Another choppy glimpse...Hold the camera still! Is that an ass cheek? No, a kneecap. Grr.. Ok, maybe next week."
Next week rolls around, lather, rinse, repeat. "Damnit! 5 episodes, 30 minutes, and still nothing to spank it to! This sucks! I quit!"
Now, what comes out of their keyboards as their reasons to stop watching are "Yeah, the video is choppy, and they're boring and dizzy people."
Yup. Whatever.
Lupercal27 said:
"Their awkwardness of what to do and their limited imaginations make this rather painful. In concept having stripper and porn stars doing anything is cool. But the concept falls flat on inception. We wnt to watch strippers and porn stars use their 'skills' in variuos other tasks, in this case play D&D. If they don't strip and or 'porn' (used as a verb) then there is no difference in watching just normal, actually cute or hot girls play."
Sooo...you don't like a video of strippers and porn stars playing D&D, because you don't want to watch strippers and porn stars play D&D...makes me wonder why you watched something billed as strippers and porn stars playing D&D then. I guess its one of those mysteries of life...like the Bermuda Triangle, the Sphinx, and how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop. I betcha if you watched one of the girls attempt to lick the Tootsie Pop while playing D&D you'd like it a lot better...
Hurr Hurr Drp said:
"I agree this was the best episode yet. Still not great, but good enough to make me give this show a second chance."
Unlike you Hurr Hurr, there are a lot of people bailing after just a few 5 minute episodes. You remember a show called All in the Family from the 70's? One of the most controversial, groundbreaking, culture-shaping shows of a generation? They went the whole first season, and the network was on the verge of cancelling it. Lucky they gave it more than 20-something 30 minute episodes to find an audience and find its voice...
For the record, I think Zak is up to a total of 30 minutes in 5 episodes now.
Dark-Reaction said:
(first of all, his name fits the comments)
"I have to agree with the lack of imagination mentioned earlier.
To pull a Yahtzee, it feels like Im watching some exotic birds struggling painfully to breath in a cloud of the pollution tainted air over Beijing.
Only the pollution is 100% pure nerd agent. And the birds do anal.
Blah, Im getting off topic.
Suggestion, should you ever try this again:
Let em play themselves as level 20 'whatevers'.
And throw em into the City of Brass.
At least they'll know what to do when a bunch of ugly creeps try to turn them into sex slaves.
And it'll be alot more interesting than watching a group of chicks whose primary defense mechanism is 'roll onto back, spread legs' feebly trying to come up with combat strategies to defeat amorphous blobs and/or expressing their utter disinterest in something that isnt a sex organ."
Sounds like somebody has some mother issues, huh? Point on the dolly to where Mommy touched you...
Before you get to the point of "It rubs the lotion on its skin," why don't you go seek some professional help buddy, and not look for S&M stuff on a video advertised as a few people playing D&D.
Void(null) chimes in yet again with:
"The problem with the show is that the focus is not the D&D, or on what the players are doing... but rather the point of focus is the players themselves.
Too much "Look, we have strippers" and not enough "playing D&D." "
Seems like you're making the focus the players day jobs, while thinking of other kinds of "jobs". Other than the hostess getting her friend the drink, and a few seconds of texting, I don't think there was much else to the vid OTHER THAN playing D&D. Now it may not be the same D&D played by Funky Chickens in the harsh cold sterile environment of the Modrons, where it looks like Felix Unger arranged everyone's character sheet on the massively oversized table that wouldn't fit in any 3 rooms of my house, but it's D&D nonetheless.
Wiezzen said:
"This series is an embarrassment to the Escapist."
Focus on the Family---in the HOOOOUUUSSSSE!
Eyeshock said:
"The plot WAS to use the porn stars to boost interest, devious or otherwise. They're not witty, smart people, or talented actresses: they are porn stars. That's why they are porn stats. They're in the show as a spectacle. While I don't watch these other DnD shows by PA and whoever these folks are linking, my assumption is the focus is the DnD game...not the spectacle.
As for this episode...I watched about thirty seconds. Mostly skipping around scene to scene. The DM remains in my opinion: ridiculously bad at his position.
If you really want success with this show, Escapist - get a good DM. Someone who will keep the flow of the video and conversations at a level that's ACTUALLY entertaining. You can leave the spectacle in, but don't keep it the focus."
Assuming you're right, and its all about the spectacle and the DM sucks eggs...you're right. No one in America cares about spectacle at all. Who would watch a show of any type just for spectacle? (TMZ, Perez Hilton, Reality TV Shows, Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, Tabloids, Nascar Crashes, Fox News, Sarah Palin----nothing but substance there...)
Assuming you're wrong, and you secretly like spectacle as much as the next guy, it makes me think you just didn't see the spectacle you were looking for. Perhaps you focused a bit too much on the porn stars and less on the D&D, and were left like Hedwig and his Angry Inch, flacidly wanting more...
Plus, who's a better DM? One who can wing it no matter what the characters decide to do, like Zak? Or someone who spends half the session telling the players how the rules dictate how they are able to respond to things, hence limiting their imaginations?
I like the show. I like the folks in it---they're regular people, having a good time. They have different day jobs than you and I, but who cares? If you come to the series looking to cum, you'll be disappointed. If you come to watch a group of friends playing D&D, and perhaps are able to let go of some of your anger issues with women (Dark Reaction) through doing so, because it triggers 16 years of intense psychotherapy visits, then so much the better. That's one less woman who ends up in a wood chipper or buried under your front porch.
I'm looking forward to the next episode...
Joe
I've stuck with the show for so long, and now I say:
Screw this,
Screw you,
And screw off.
Screw you guys... I'm going home
Screw this,
Screw you,
And screw off.
Screw you guys... I'm going home
Holy shit, it did get better at the fifth episode.
I'm not sure which I liked better, Sasha's attempt at pronouncing "mumorpeger," Zak's "You can control them and make them your tool, I'm sure that's not beyond you." Or the abso-fucking-lutely brilliant plan of torturing a creature by breaking it's legs when it's not present in it's own body.
Jesusfuck, I'm fucking giggling as I write this.
How the fuck would that even work, if she even *had* the will to do it?
"Tell me or I'll break it!"
'No!'
*KRACK*"AAAAAAAUGH!"
*pant* "...fuck..." *pant* "..ok tell me or I'll do it again..."
'No.'
*pant* "...seriously, it really fucking hurts, I'm telling you..."
'Nope...'
"You asked for it, *****!" *KRACK "AUUUUGH! FUCK!"
'...moron...'
The draw of this show isn't going to be that it's pornstars playing D&D, it's n00bs playing D&D.
I'm not sure which I liked better, Sasha's attempt at pronouncing "mumorpeger," Zak's "You can control them and make them your tool, I'm sure that's not beyond you." Or the abso-fucking-lutely brilliant plan of torturing a creature by breaking it's legs when it's not present in it's own body.
Jesusfuck, I'm fucking giggling as I write this.
How the fuck would that even work, if she even *had* the will to do it?
"Tell me or I'll break it!"
'No!'
*KRACK*"AAAAAAAUGH!"
*pant* "...fuck..." *pant* "..ok tell me or I'll do it again..."
'No.'
*pant* "...seriously, it really fucking hurts, I'm telling you..."
'Nope...'
"You asked for it, *****!" *KRACK "AUUUUGH! FUCK!"
'...moron...'
The draw of this show isn't going to be that it's pornstars playing D&D, it's n00bs playing D&D.
I had a
I had a party who got away from a T-Rex I threw at them by doing this with a mule once. Trick is to run during the sacrifice.Zuljeet said:
Ah, the blob. The classic RPG monster that no one knows how to deal it until you realize it's just a shapeless goblin.
This episode was indeed better, and actually seemed to have been shot and edited by people who are aware of how shooting and editing works. I'll give it another chance because the blog is awesome, but with ZP and ENN on Wednesdays, I'm not dying to watch another show.
This episode was indeed better, and actually seemed to have been shot and edited by people who are aware of how shooting and editing works. I'll give it another chance because the blog is awesome, but with ZP and ENN on Wednesdays, I'm not dying to watch another show.
just started watching the Wizards videos! hilarious and GREAT! why is that not on here? lol.
IHIWMA still BLOOOOOWS!
IHIWMA still BLOOOOOWS!
They may not be whipping them out, but what the fuck else are you suposed to call a sexualy exploitative gimmick with no real value other than "Look we have strippers!" I honestly can't see anyone watching this for their personality's, let alone their D&D skills.Kalezian said:
Also, just because I cant sit through watching a bunch of strippers suffering through an atrocious DM with a convoluted plot that railroads at every turn... my 18 years of playing and DM'ing is null and I'm not a real D&D Player?
Wow, and here I thought owning a copy of Gary Gygax's Chainmail made me a ubergeek or something, good to know.
Honestly this "show" has very little D&D in it, and the little that is there gets mangled between the bad editing, gawd awful music and the DM being uncreative and most of the strippers "not getting it."
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO....take dis thing off the escapist... replace it with Sasha Grey power hour if you must. Anything but this torturous thing
First Rebecca Mayes, then GameDogs, and now this. The Escapist is turning more and more into a giant hodge podge of crap. This site wouldn't have ANYTHING without Zero Punctuation and the Forums.
Also, to all the people saying "This is supposed to show that porn stars are capable of regular people things too" - WHO GIVES A CRAP!? Strippers, porn stars, doctors, lawyers, athletes, store clerks, cashiers, and even your Grandma are all capable of boring regular people stuff. We know this, and no one cares.
So bleh...
Also, to all the people saying "This is supposed to show that porn stars are capable of regular people things too" - WHO GIVES A CRAP!? Strippers, porn stars, doctors, lawyers, athletes, store clerks, cashiers, and even your Grandma are all capable of boring regular people stuff. We know this, and no one cares.
So bleh...
The weekly themed articles are pretty good, Andy Chalk is normally thought provoking, Movie Bob is fun and the Escapist is also pretty good about snagging news from Ars, Boing Boing and Kotaku making it less likely you are going to me an interesting or important announcement.Tootmania said:
To discuss why I think this show is the best thing on The Escapist is complicated and I don't feel like writing an essay, nor do I care if anyone else agrees with me. I just hope the show continues. I can forgive The Escapist for Game Dogs if they also bring content like this to the table.