I need a doctor!

[Shurikens and Lightning]

So, I understand that this is not a medical forum. But I seriously need help and I trust my fellow Escapists.

So lets get into a little history about me:
Every time I take a shower I get huge swelling and itchiness on my thighs, lower leg, and feet.
Every once in a while the lower right side of my lip swells up and then recedes
I have a fever right now which is causing multiple areas of my body to swell up

The real bad thing? This is all happening at once, my lower right side of my face is tripled in volume. My lower half of my body is swelling thanks to taking showers. And now my testicular area(Not necessarily bad) has swelled really bad too.

I must admit that it is not a pretty sight right now, is there any tips on why this is happening or treatment that you guys can impart on me?

And no, not going to Doctor yet.

 

[Neonbob]

You trust us? Really?
Are you sure?
Mkay.
GO TO A DOCTOR.
The chances of us being more helpful than a licensed medical professional are slimmer than a 2D plane.

 

[Vet2501]

Seriously? You're looking for free medical advice and treatment options on the internet? Sounds like it might be an allergic reaction, but honestly you should go see your doctor, that's my professional opinion (from a vet).

 

[Shepard's Shadow]

The only advice I have is go to a doctor. What you described sounds bad; you should probably go get checked out.

 

[Pimppeter2]

The chances of us being more helpful than a licensed medical professional are slimmer than a 2D plane.

Hey! I spent 8 years earning this PhD in Sillyology!

That being said, let me right you a prescription for 4 gallons of gas, that should be enough to get you to the doc and back.

Or you can stop taking showers, become the stink man, invade a small hostile nation with the help of the US CIA, then betray us when you get dictatorial power you communist!

 

[_Serendipity_]

Well, this takes the biscuit for weird advice threads on the Escapist.

I would give you my professional opinion, but then again you can probably guess it.

GO TO A DOCTOR. THIS SHIT IS WHY THEY EXIST.

Also, try not to die. That would suck something awful, okay?

 

[Neonbob]

The chances of us being more helpful than a licensed medical professional are slimmer than a 2D plane.

Hey! I spent 8 years earning this PhD in Sillyology!

That being said, let me right you a prescription for 4 gallons of gas, that should be enough to get you to the doc and back.

Geeze...that's a long time.
I got out of there in three weeks.
What all did you study?

 

[megalomania]

All I can tell you is this - Do Not Google Your Symptoms.

Dr. Google always diagnoses something that results in unconsciousness, paralysis then death.

 

[Jark212]

It may help to put some Cortisone, aloe, or something that will bring down the inflammation on the affected areas while waiting to go to your doctor, BUT GO TO SEE YOUR DOCTOR!!!

 

[_Serendipity_]

I get itches whenever I'm wet, but that's apparently some sort of OCD thing where my mind convinces me to itch whenever I'm wet. It's probably a flesh-eating virus. Damn doctors, telling me that it's all in my mind.

You have a flesh-eating virus in your mind?

That sucks.

 

[Mozared]

So, I understand that this is not a medical forum. But I seriously need help and I trust my fellow Escapists.

So lets get into a little history about me:
Every time I take a shower I get huge swelling and itchiness on my thighs, lower leg, and feet.
Every once in a while the lower right side of my lip swells up and then recedes
I have a fever right now which is causing multiple areas of my body to swell up

The real bad thing? This is all happening at once, my lower right side of my face is tripled in volume. My lower half of my body is swelling thanks to taking showers. And now my testicular area(Not necessarily bad) has swelled really bad too.

I must admit that it is not a pretty sight right now, is there any tips on why this is happening or treatment that you guys can impart on me?

And no, not going to Doctor yet.

I had that too when I was young. Irritated and itchy legs, that is. It seems to be an allergic reaction of some sorts. I always thought it to be a reaction to warm water as I always got it if I put the shower temperature 'too hot', but I've never been quite sure if that's even possible. I'd recommend playing around with different shower gels.

That said, what everybody else has said holds truth - if you want sure advice, you'll have to go to a doctor. I can't guarantee that it's an allergic reaction and if a doctor concludes you've got some kind of horrible leg cancer than he's probably right and I'm wrong.

 

[Daveman]

dude, not cool, I JUST made this thread.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.181616-Is-there-a-doctor-in-the-building#5367494

 

[AngloDoom]

It's probably ebola.

Seriously, none of us will know enough without looking at you. The above guess is just as valid as Dr. Anonymous across the internet telling you it's an allergic reaction, cancer, or a over-exposure to nuclear waste. Best to see a doctor. Best as in 'only hope of understanding'.

 

[Pimppeter2]

The chances of us being more helpful than a licensed medical professional are slimmer than a 2D plane.

Hey! I spent 8 years earning this PhD in Sillyology!

That being said, let me right you a prescription for 4 gallons of gas, that should be enough to get you to the doc and back.

Geeze...that's a long time.
I got out of there in three weeks.
What all did you study?

So what? I'm a slow learner.

No child left behind!

 

[Darwins_Folly]

Why the hell don't you go to the doctor?

Wait, are you American and laking any sort of decent medical coverage? That may explain it.

 

[Caligulove]

See a doctor.

The only advice that I can give you is that not everything is so serious as it may seem when you notice it. A lot can be attributed to minor issues or simply the changes in weather around you.

I doubt that anything serious is wrong with you or that anything is in danger of your health.

 

[Cobra Dude]

I could have sworn this thread would have some sort of Team Fortress pun somewhere... Oh well.

Anyhow, I am going to state what has already been said and tell you to see a real godamn doctor.

Can't trust these internet folk... trolls and such, unless that is: you posted this just to get a good laugh in your diet. If that is so than well played.

 

[Guido656]

I would advise rubbing copious amounts of peanut butter on the affected areas, making sure to cover the entire genital region especially. Then, head down to the doctors - trust me, they will thank you for a job already half finished!

 

[Marine Mike]

Take the advice of everyone repeatedly screaming for you to see a doctor... but if you're set on not doing that then I might have a helpful suggestion. Take some Motrin, its an anti-inflammatory and might bring the swelling down. But if its an allergic reaction (which it sounds like) and you're worried it may get serious go pick yourself up an Epinephrine injector, could very well save your life. The only way you'll really get to the bottom of your problem is going to see a doctor though.