I need help helping my boyfriend.

[thegirlwiththesoap]

Hello there, everyone. I'm new to the escapist, but I've been coming here for ages. This is my first thread, and I need help.

I recently started dating my best friend of five years. I'll spare you the pathetic story of all of that. Some of you may know him. And, if you know him, then you know that he is very committed to becoming a Marine.

My problem is he trains so much, that I think it is a risk to his health. Sometimes I worry that he pushes himself too hard. He goes out running when it's over a hundred outside. He trains when he is ill. He even goes out when he has had little or no sleep. He just never stops to give himself a rest.

I try to tell him I'm concerned about all of this, but he insists that he is alright. I don't know what to do to make him see that he could be hurting himself. If anyone has any experience with this sort of thing, I would really appreciate some suggestions.

 

[Krion_Vark]

My brother joined the Marines 4 years ago. The Crucible which is the last 3 days of training is done on little to no sleep. It is possible that he might burn himself out before he even gets into boot but its his decision on whether to work himself to the bone even before it is entirely necessary.

 

[thegirlwiththesoap]

My brother joined the Marines 4 years ago. The Crucible which is the last 3 days of training is done on little to no sleep. It is possible that he might burn himself out before he even gets into boot but its his decision on whether to work himself to the bone even before it is entirely necessary.

Oh, well he's not enlisting. He's going to do NROTC at uni and commission as an officer. He wants to join some special forces program. I can't remember what exactally he said. he also says that the fitness requirements for officers are a lot higher than enlisted men. Sorry, I should have made that more clear.

 

[Krion_Vark]

My brother joined the Marines 4 years ago. The Crucible which is the last 3 days of training is done on little to no sleep. It is possible that he might burn himself out before he even gets into boot but its his decision on whether to work himself to the bone even before it is entirely necessary.

Oh, well he's not enlisting. He's going to do NROTC at uni and commission as an officer. He wants to join some special forces program. I can't remember what exactally he said. he also says that the fitness requirements for officers are a lot higher than enlisted men. Sorry, I should have made that more clear.

Whether or not he enlists or does an ROTC. He goes through the training but the ROTC is usually the Hollywood Marines who don't do as strict of training or at least so according to my brother. They will be let off the training base to go to things such as sporting events.

Parris Island is something COMPLETELY different though.

 

[thegirlwiththesoap]

My brother joined the Marines 4 years ago. The Crucible which is the last 3 days of training is done on little to no sleep. It is possible that he might burn himself out before he even gets into boot but its his decision on whether to work himself to the bone even before it is entirely necessary.

Oh, well he's not enlisting. He's going to do NROTC at uni and commission as an officer. He wants to join some special forces program. I can't remember what exactally he said. he also says that the fitness requirements for officers are a lot higher than enlisted men. Sorry, I should have made that more clear.

Whether or not he enlists or does an ROTC. He goes through the training but the ROTC is usually the Hollywood Marines who don't do as strict of training or at least so according to my brother. They will be let off the training base to go to things such as sporting events.

Parris Island is something COMPLETELY different though.

I don't know. Some of the stuff he showed me about the programs at the schools he is looking at are really intense, or at least they seem so to me. I am just worried that he could really hurt himself by working so hard. It seems like he pushes himself too much.

 

[Krion_Vark]

My brother joined the Marines 4 years ago. The Crucible which is the last 3 days of training is done on little to no sleep. It is possible that he might burn himself out before he even gets into boot but its his decision on whether to work himself to the bone even before it is entirely necessary.

Oh, well he's not enlisting. He's going to do NROTC at uni and commission as an officer. He wants to join some special forces program. I can't remember what exactally he said. he also says that the fitness requirements for officers are a lot higher than enlisted men. Sorry, I should have made that more clear.

Whether or not he enlists or does an ROTC. He goes through the training but the ROTC is usually the Hollywood Marines who don't do as strict of training or at least so according to my brother. They will be let off the training base to go to things such as sporting events.

Parris Island is something COMPLETELY different though.

I don't know. Some of the stuff he showed me about the programs at the schools he is looking at are really intense, or at least they seem so to me. I am just worried that he could really hurt himself by working so hard. It seems like he pushes himself too much.

There is a chance that he is but I would just let him do what he wants. Also find out which training he would be going into after he finished the ROTC program since as a Marine you HAVE to go through their training. Most branches Army, Navy, Air Force you can switch between them without having to do basic again but with the Marines you ALWAYS have to do it in my brothers boot class there were 2 guys from the Army.

 

[The Man With the Soap]

Hello there, everyone. I'm new to the escapist, but I've been coming here for ages. This is my first thread, and I need help.

I recently started dating my best friend of five years. I'll spare you the pathetic story of all of that. Some of you may know him. And, if you know him, then you know that he is very committed to becoming a Marine.

My problem is he trains so much, that I think it is a risk to his health. Sometimes I worry that he pushes himself too hard. He goes out running when it's over a hundred outside. He trains when he is ill. He even goes out when he has had little or no sleep. He just never stops to give himself a rest.

I try to tell him I'm concerned about all of this, but he insists that he is alright. I don't know what to do to make him see that he could be hurting himself. If anyone has any experience with this sort of thing, I would really appreciate some suggestions.

I think maybe you should say this to your boyfriend. I'm sure he will understand and listen to what you have to say. Otherwise, he's an ass.

 

[TangoOneSix]

I'm in Army ROTC, and I know some people doing NROTC, Marine option.

Yes, the training is tough, but you'd be surprised at how resilient the human body can be. It sounds like he wants to eventually go into Marine Special Operations Command - an admirable goal, but it will be hard. Marine training, and military training in general, is tailored to make you push yourself farther than you ever thought possible. It needs to be this way so only the best can make it.

Even so, if you're that worried, bring it up to him. I'm sure you support him and are proud of his decision to serve this country. It's a good thing that he pushes himself. Let him know that, but also let him know that he's not invincible, and if he's not careful about how hard he trains, he could hurt himself and delay or even permanently destroy his dreams of becoming an officer. Remember, he hasn't even started NROTC yet. There will be PLENTY of time. Take things one step at a time.

 

[Hashime]

Remind him that he needs breaks for new muscle fibres to grow. I would also remind him that training while ill will make the illness last longer.

 

[dmase]

What he is doing now may seem entirely ungodly but in reality its a taste of what the marines will be like. I'm not sure where the Marine basic training bases are but Army reserves guys train in Georgia During the Summer its roughly over a 100 degrees there everyday. He has to get used to it somehow.

He just needs to remember to stay well hydrated, well stretched, and stay within what is considered a populated area. If he passes out on the side of the road he needs to be somewhere where someone will pass through in a relatively short amount of time. Also if he is pulling a muscle lifting weights or working his upper body he is not stretching enough or is pushing harder then he should.

Just remind him a good 7 to 8 hours is needed to get your muscles to recover the right way. He could actually be getting in his own way if he is only getting 4 hours a night after a hard day of exercising.

Edit: ALso running while sick doesn't sound like it will help but it always has for me, if he has the luxury of stopping for a week then he should if not then he should keep trucking it.

 

[LetalisK]

My problem is he trains so much, that I think it is a risk to his health. Sometimes I worry that he pushes himself too hard. He goes out running when it's over a hundred outside. He trains when he is ill. He even goes out when he has had little or no sleep. He just never stops to give himself a rest.

Running outside when it's over 100 isn't inherently harmful as long as he is well hydrated. Otherwise he's just courting a heat injury and that will follow him through his military career. If he trains when he's ill he's actually being counter-productive and not only weakening his muscles(your body doesn't give a shit about rebuilding your muscles when you're sick) but also making the sickness last longer. Not having enough sleep also counteracts muscle building. 8 hours is a minimum if you want to maximize your exercise potential.

Oh, well he's not enlisting. He's going to do NROTC at uni and commission as an officer. He wants to join some special forces program. I can't remember what exactally he said. he also says that the fitness requirements for officers are a lot higher than enlisted men. Sorry, I should have made that more clear.

Eh. Enlisting beforehand is better. Going on a deployment as enlisted beforehand is even better. Trust me, you can tell the difference between cadets that have been through boot camp/deployed and those that haven't. He'll also garner more respect from the enlisted under his command if they know he's been one of them.

 

[The Man With the Soap]

My problem is he trains so much, that I think it is a risk to his health. Sometimes I worry that he pushes himself too hard. He goes out running when it's over a hundred outside. He trains when he is ill. He even goes out when he has had little or no sleep. He just never stops to give himself a rest.

Running outside when it's over 100 isn't inherently harmful as long as he is well hydrated. Otherwise he's just courting a heat injury and that will follow him through his military career. If he trains when he's ill he's actually being counter-productive and not only weakening his muscles(your body doesn't give a shit about rebuilding your muscles when you're sick) but also making the sickness last longer. Not having enough sleep also counteracts muscle building. 8 hours is a minimum if you want to maximize your exercise potential.

Oh, well he's not enlisting. He's going to do NROTC at uni and commission as an officer. He wants to join some special forces program. I can't remember what exactally he said. he also says that the fitness requirements for officers are a lot higher than enlisted men. Sorry, I should have made that more clear.

Eh. Enlisting beforehand is better. Going on a deployment as enlisted beforehand is even better. Trust me, you can tell the difference between cadets that have been through boot camp/deployed and those that haven't. He'll also garner more respect from the enlisted under his command if they know he's been one of them.

I wanted to enlist. I really did, but the folks would disown me if I did, and all of my enlisted buddies tell me I need to be an officer.

 

[SiskoBlue]

He needs to do these things to prepare himself and prove his resilience but as said above make sure he's sensible about it. Diego Maradonna pointed out the thing that stops most good sports people being great sports people is injury. Pushing yourself is one thing, running the risk of serious injury may ruin his chances completely.

Good luck to you and him.

 

[ultrachicken]

I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like he should maybe pace himself a little better. According to some other people in this thread, he has a while before he needs to be in top shape, so burning himself out at the start isn't a very good idea. Especially when he's just delaying the muscle building by restricting sleep and prolonging illness by continuing to exercise while sick.

However, ultimately, I would suggest you let him do what he wants.

 

[LetalisK]

I wanted to enlist. I really did, but the folks would disown me if I did, and all of my enlisted buddies tell me I need to be an officer.

Wait, they would disown you if you enlisted....but not if you're an officer? Are they elitist or something? And your buddies saying you need to be an officer doesn't invalidate enlisting first. It's a valuable stepping stone that helps with being an officer.

 

[The Man With the Soap]

I wanted to enlist. I really did, but the folks would disown me if I did, and all of my enlisted buddies tell me I need to be an officer.

Wait, they would disown you if you enlisted....but not if you're an officer? Are they elitist or something? And your buddies saying you need to be an officer doesn't invalidate enlisting first. It's a valuable stepping stone that helps with being an officer.

I know, but they all said that there were plenty of great officers who weren't enlisted first. After I commission, I'll only be a second lieutenant. I'd be a platoon commander, so I'd still be in the thick of things with my men.

 

[LetalisK]

I wanted to enlist. I really did, but the folks would disown me if I did, and all of my enlisted buddies tell me I need to be an officer.

Wait, they would disown you if you enlisted....but not if you're an officer? Are they elitist or something? And your buddies saying you need to be an officer doesn't invalidate enlisting first. It's a valuable stepping stone that helps with being an officer.

I know, but they all said that there were plenty of great officers who weren't enlisted first. After I commission, I'll only be a second lieutenant. I'd be a platoon commander, so I'd still be in the thick of things with my men.

Yes, you'll (probably) be in the thick of things with them, but that wasn't my point. As an enlisted you get an opportunity to see different leaders, their styles, and experience the impact of those styles firsthand better than you would otherwise. You'll get more honest feedback about leadership styles from the enlisted while you are one of them and it'll give you a perspective of what kind of shit the enlisted go through. Someone can certainly be a good officer without ever having been enlisted first, but it is still greatly beneficial.

What are you wanting to go into, anyway?

 

[The Man With the Soap]

I wanted to enlist. I really did, but the folks would disown me if I did, and all of my enlisted buddies tell me I need to be an officer.

Wait, they would disown you if you enlisted....but not if you're an officer? Are they elitist or something? And your buddies saying you need to be an officer doesn't invalidate enlisting first. It's a valuable stepping stone that helps with being an officer.

I know, but they all said that there were plenty of great officers who weren't enlisted first. After I commission, I'll only be a second lieutenant. I'd be a platoon commander, so I'd still be in the thick of things with my men.

Yes, you'll (probably) be in the thick of things with them, but that wasn't my point. As an enlisted you get an opportunity to see different leaders, their styles, and experience the impact of those styles firsthand better than you would otherwise. You'll get more honest feedback about leadership styles from the enlisted while you are one of them and it'll give you a perspective of what kind of shit the enlisted go through. Someone can certainly be a good officer without ever having been enlisted first, but it is still greatly beneficial.

What are you wanting to go into, anyway?

I want to eventually get picked up by Force Recon and get the opportunity to attend the Scout Sniper School.

 

[LetalisK]

I want to eventually get picked up by Force Recon and get the opportunity to attend the Scout Sniper School.

Yeah...if that's what you want to do then I definitely can't recommend the officer route. Officers in things like Force Recon, SEALs, and Special Forces tend to actually be more likely to stay in the rear than your typical infantry unit. Often times the team is commanded by the ranking NCO, while the officer(provided it's not a much larger scale operation) is in a rear location issuing orders and analyzing data.

If being in Force Recon is more important than a commission where you can work closely with your subordinates in the field, then I would definitely join as enlisted and you can always become an officer in Force Recon at a later time. If having a commission where you get to work closely with your subordinates in the field is more important than being in Force Recon than I would recommend going "traditional" infantry, artillery, Army Rangers, or especially armor. Edit: Not to forget being a fixed wing pilot in pretty much any branch that has it or serving on a ship as an officer. Just some ideas.

Also, you might already know this, but just to make sure, if you think you're going to join Force Recon to do direct action missions, things have changed up quite a bit in the last few years. Force Recon was always intended as a deep recon element, but capable of direct action. Because of the two wars, Force Recon was being used more and more as a direct action unit, which wasn't their primary role, so the marines saw fit to split Force Recon into Force Recon and Marine Special Operations. Now Marine Special Operations handles the direct action while Force Recon is dedicated to recon and intel gathering. If direct action is what you're more interested in, you might want to look more into marines special operations.

 

[The Man With the Soap]

I want to eventually get picked up by Force Recon and get the opportunity to attend the Scout Sniper School.

Yeah...if that's what you want to do then I definitely can't recommend the officer route. Officers in things like Force Recon, SEALs, and Special Forces tend to actually be more likely to stay in the rear than your typical infantry unit. Often times the team is commanded by the ranking NCO, while the officer(provided it's not a much larger scale operation) is in a rear location issuing orders and analyzing data.

If being in Force Recon is more important than a commission where you can work closely with your subordinates in the field, then I would definitely join as enlisted and you can always become an officer in Force Recon at a later time. If having a commission where you get to work closely with your subordinates in the field is more important than being in Force Recon than I would recommend going "traditional" infantry, artillery, Army Rangers, or especially armor. Edit: Not to forget being a fixed wing pilot in pretty much any branch that has it or serving on a ship as an officer. Just some ideas.

Also, you might already know this, but just to make sure, if you think you're going to join Force Recon to do direct action missions, things have changed up quite a bit in the last few years. Force Recon was always intended as a deep recon element, but capable of direct action. Because of the two wars, Force Recon was being used more and more as a direct action unit, which wasn't their primary role, so the marines saw fit to split Force Recon into Force Recon and Marine Special Operations. Now Marine Special Operations handles the direct action while Force Recon is dedicated to recon and intel gathering. If direct action is what you're more interested in, you might want to look more into marines special operations.

Well, here's the thing. Force Recon falls under the MARSOC command. Also, officers cannot join Recon right after they commission. First, you have to survive two combat tours during which you came under direct fire. Then you have to be selected to join. You cannot volunteer for it. It's actually a bigger challenge to get in as an officer than as enlisted. I would have to spend a substantial amount of time as active duty infantry before joining the MARSOC.

I'm just curious, are you in the armed forces?