I need morale support... (or feel free to insult me)
- Thread starter Chimpaco
- Start date
Recommended Videos
God, how much better would this world be if the Virgin Mary had have said that?gentleben said:
on topic, you did the right thing...
Ok, I might be on my own here but...
HE'S SEVENTEEN.
Who cares what he does, you would be remiss to get in to any relationship at that age that you thought was going to end with anything serious. Get out there, have a bunch of sex and then start worrying about settling down in 9 years when you leave home.
HE'S SEVENTEEN.
Who cares what he does, you would be remiss to get in to any relationship at that age that you thought was going to end with anything serious. Get out there, have a bunch of sex and then start worrying about settling down in 9 years when you leave home.
I recently did a similar thing, broke up with someone because it wasn't fair to her that I didn't love her any more. It's worked out for the best, I'm with a girl who I truly love now. Score 
Dude ive left home... I was kicked out when i was 12... I havent had the easiest life and im mentally 23 or somthing... i was submitted for psyciatric examination because i was going through periods of my life where people who took me in thaught i was a sociopath... i know what emotions are.gentleben said:
You're young, luv. You've only just touched love and effection. No one can tell you if you did the right thing (despite what anyone is actually saying). Time will tell if you made a mistake or not. At 21, your love isn't to much more educated in matter of love herself. If nothing else, you're learning what you do and don't want in a relationship. Think about your experiences, and take with you the knowledge that will better future engagements. It may be a series of week long flings until your mid 30s. You're a long way off from really knowing love (including your previous lover).
I'm more than a little surprised that some people posting here expected the 21 y/o to be more educated in matters of "love" (judging by their posts).
You've only just touched love and effection. No one can tell you if you did the right thing (despite what anyone is actually saying). Time will tell if you made a mistake or not. At 21, your love isn't to much more educated in matter of love herself. If nothing else, you're learning what you do and don't want in a relationship. Think about your experiences, and take with you the knowledge that will better future engagements. It may be a series of week long flings until your mid 30s. You're a long way off from really knowing love (including your previous lover).I'm more than a little surprised that some people posting here expected the 21 y/o to be more educated in matters of "love" (judging by their posts).
First of all. Sorry about the girlfriend mate. Secondly, kudos about scorin with an older chick. Thirdly OF COURSE YOU DID THE RIGHT THINK! Who the fuck would say different?! What you gunna drag this girls self esteem through the dirt even more? (No offense but either your a stone cold fox, or this womans got low self esteem. You decide >.o) Anyway. Use the motto ive been going on for quite some time now " Que sera sera, se la vie" Works wonders for the soul.Chimpaco said:
Your fucking 17 years old! Don't start dealing with complex issues like love yet! Seriously, am I the only one fucking thinking this?
OT: Yeah you did the right thing. You were only with the 21 for two months. If she thinks that's love she's an idiot.
OT: Yeah you did the right thing. You were only with the 21 for two months. If she thinks that's love she's an idiot.
That's too bad, I'm sure she'll find someone else to be with if that's what you really want.Chimpaco said:
Don't forget, your own feelings might change over time too. People don't always fall in love straight away. Sometimes it takes time to flower. Even if you take a break now, you can always ask her out again if you're both single.
And for future reference: not all breakups should be planned to be forever. Sometimes, they're not.
Mate if you knew what you say you know, you wouldn't be trying to get other people to tell you you've done the right thing. I understand you've been through a lot, but that doesn't mean your mature enough to handle it. From what I've read if you aren't, your damn close to it, but maybe you should step back a bit and... well, act your age.Chimpaco said:
Going against the grain here a little bit, I'd have to say you didn't do the right thing. However defining what the right thing is, is a bit more of a complex subject.
I'll have to ask some more questions of you to really find out the diffrences in the relationship before i can judge. For example, how long were you single between the first and second relationships? Often the rebound effect can land you in a relationship you really didn't want to be in... although in my experience it can have the opposite effect.
If you don't love someone, there is no reason for you to end a relationship. Love is a very strong word, but it also has many stages to its being. You can love someone, truely and deeply feel as if they are your world. You can also love someone as in you care for the wellbeing and happiness of the person, but not to the point where you would sacrifice everything to be with that person. It doesn't mean either type is more valid than the other, in my opinion. Both are expressions of feeling towards another human being. I'd like to put forward a guess that you did care for this 21 year old, because otherwise you wouldn't have felt like you needed to leave her. She may/may not of truely loved you in the way you think she did, as I said, love is a strong word and a multifaced feeling. Assertaining the extend of her feelings for you and feelings about your feelings would be the logical step. Did she approve of the break up after you said you thought you felt less towards her?
Two months is a short amount of time to truely know someone. If you think there are other fish in the sea for you, try dating someone else. But personally I think this 21 year old could still provide a valid experience for you.
Give it a few days and talk with her again. Express how you feel about her positively and ask how she feels in return.
I hope this helps.
PS: While talking, don't stare at her boobies. Tends to land you in trouble.
PSS: mmm boobies...
I'll have to ask some more questions of you to really find out the diffrences in the relationship before i can judge. For example, how long were you single between the first and second relationships? Often the rebound effect can land you in a relationship you really didn't want to be in... although in my experience it can have the opposite effect.
If you don't love someone, there is no reason for you to end a relationship. Love is a very strong word, but it also has many stages to its being. You can love someone, truely and deeply feel as if they are your world. You can also love someone as in you care for the wellbeing and happiness of the person, but not to the point where you would sacrifice everything to be with that person. It doesn't mean either type is more valid than the other, in my opinion. Both are expressions of feeling towards another human being. I'd like to put forward a guess that you did care for this 21 year old, because otherwise you wouldn't have felt like you needed to leave her. She may/may not of truely loved you in the way you think she did, as I said, love is a strong word and a multifaced feeling. Assertaining the extend of her feelings for you and feelings about your feelings would be the logical step. Did she approve of the break up after you said you thought you felt less towards her?
Two months is a short amount of time to truely know someone. If you think there are other fish in the sea for you, try dating someone else. But personally I think this 21 year old could still provide a valid experience for you.
Give it a few days and talk with her again. Express how you feel about her positively and ask how she feels in return.
I hope this helps.
PS: While talking, don't stare at her boobies. Tends to land you in trouble.
PSS: mmm boobies...
Man. You did the right thing! Take it from a guy that's been dating for a looong time.
I was in your situation once to.
I broke up with my GF, met a girl 1yr older than me and started dating her, but only for a month because I just couldn't get "turned-on" knowing I still loved my EX.
Soo I called it off after 1month and got back with my EX and everything was fine. I feel much happier now.
I was in your situation once to.
I broke up with my GF, met a girl 1yr older than me and started dating her, but only for a month because I just couldn't get "turned-on" knowing I still loved my EX.
Soo I called it off after 1month and got back with my EX and everything was fine. I feel much happier now.
This.....
Ok, here's the problem I have here: While I agree that love is a multi-faceted concept, if she's any kind of normal girl, and she's throwing around "I love you", that means that she's committed herself to that relationship. That she's counting on some sort of future. She's 21, and chances are, she's had some time to evaluate what the term "I love you" means, and while love is multi-faceted, the way she used it is pretty clear. If he's not committed that way, if he's not ready to say it to her, then it was probably the right thing to do in putting some space between them. It isn't fair to string her along in the hope that he might one day come to love her.DC_Josh said:
It sounds to me like she was going in looking for love, while he was going in on the rebound. This is especially the case since he claims to still have feelings for someone else. Now she is forced to compete with someone who isn't even there. From the sounds of it, I think he should have made some more concrete concessions before he went and broke it off with Ms.21 year old, but ultimately, breaking it off was more then likely the right decision.
If he was married, then yeah, I'd say you're absolutely right. He should be considering his definition of love, and seeing if she fits into some place with it. But they were dating, and she was moving quicker then he was. If things are moving too quick, the best solution is always to take some steps back for consideration.