I need morale support... (or feel free to insult me)
- Thread starter Chimpaco
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Never apply for a job as an agony aunt/uncle. No offence and sorry if I'm being harsh, but the guy, at 17, is mature enough to be able to handle this responsibly. I've known plenty of mature, responsible 17 and 18 year olds who can handle this sort of thing. Maybe at 14/15, then yeah, he'd be a tad young, but this age is fine, though if you disagree then that's fine too.gentleben said:
Anyway, not to start any arguments, lets move on. OP, you did the right thing, as so many others have already said. If you don't love someone then it's unfair to stay in a relationship where you aren't happy. It's better for you to get out, and it's better for her because she's now free to find someone who will be able to love her properly with no baggage or anything. This way, you've handled the situation in a mature way and everyone can be happier in the long run, even if there is a little heartbreak now. I remember I was in a similar situation once, although in that case I didn't have an ex who I was still in love with. The girl I was seeing who I didn't actually love understood perfectly and we're still friends almost three years later. You have nothing to feel guilty over, so don't wory about it.
Hmmmm, looking at her posts she doesn't seem the sort. Pretty mature in general, she is. However, I wouldn't put it past Sky or Emilee to post that...thiosk said:
[small]DISCLAIMER: For comedic purposes only. Any complaints by Sky14kemea/EmileeElectro or their relatives/friends/pets/spiritual-entities should be directed to the Human/Non-human Resources department of the Escapist. After a period of waiting you will then recieve further instructions on the correct procedure to apply to the EU for the right forms to request punishment be considered to be applied for. All further enquiries must be directed to the massive trash heap situated at the following address:
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Brussels
Belgium
Europe
Sometimes you just have to love red tape.[/small]
People get hurt in relationships. Most end at some point or another and it always comes with pain. The most important thing I've learned is to keep it honest. If you're lying to your partner, you're only making the eventual hurt worse and leaving her with questions she'll never get answered.
Even if you could have eventually felt love for this girl, moving on is about growing up and growing out of your fears. It's not fair to lie to her until you've worked through it.
You did the right thing, you kept it honest, and I really hope you'll keep it up in the future.
Even if you could have eventually felt love for this girl, moving on is about growing up and growing out of your fears. It's not fair to lie to her until you've worked through it.
You did the right thing, you kept it honest, and I really hope you'll keep it up in the future.
I think I might be glad I couldn't quite follow all that.
Don't worry dude, in a few years the hormones calm down and you'll be able to lead a normal life again. Puberty is hell for everybody.
Don't worry dude, in a few years the hormones calm down and you'll be able to lead a normal life again. Puberty is hell for everybody.
hmmmm. Its probably just me... but does anyone else think that it's kind of odd that a 21 year old woman was dating a 17 year old male? Where i come from at least, it is practically a rule that in a relationship women are the younger. Please tell me if this is just an oddity where i live.
yes i did notice that right after i posted. however, i dont think the age distance has anything to do with what i said. i am dating a girl 9 months older than me and she was a grade ahead back in highschool. People still give us raised eyebrows.Antlers said:
follow ur heart man... but ur still young and u will have this feeling many times throughout ur life... nobody can tell you what to do except.. *cliche alert* follow your heart
You did the right thing by breaking up with someone who clearly liked you a lot more than you liked her, but you did the wrong thing getting into a relationship with someone when you still loved someone else in the first place. You need to get over this other lady before you head back to bat.
Speaking from a male perspective im not sure how much this will effect you but im going to speak anyway.
My girlfriend recently dumped me because she said she now saw me as more of a friend (yeah...one of those dumpings) than as someone she loved.She basically said what you said to the 21 year old. you cant force a feeling. She said there was a point when she did love me for the first couple of months but then she said i was more like a really good friend she didnt want to loose. I was so hurt when she said she didnt want to be with me because everyday of the 7 months we'd been going out i had said i loved her. And i still really did...well...actually i still really do. present tense.
This is probally what that 21 year old is thinking now.
That might seem mean to say that but if you wait a sec im going to go from the position of the 17 year old.
Now that who girl dumped me; (like you dumped the 17 year old to begin with) hurt me bad, but if she came back to me now, 2 months later and said "would you go back out with me", i still love her so much that i'd be straight back in there. no matter what shes done to me or how much ive been hurting, I still love her so much that i would take her back with no questions asked.
Now, as i said at the beggining it may be different for you because the people your talking about are girls, and im a guy. But if that 17 year old still loves you and REALLY loves you then she wont care what youve done, she'll just be happy to have you back, just as i would be happy to have my girlfriend back despite her dumping me.
So my advice i guess, would be.
If you think this 17 year old girl is amazing, kind, considerate, wouldnt hurt a fly, is understanding and forgiving, then ask her back out and if she really is the person you think, shell just be glad to have you again.
If not...then she isnt the person you thought she was.
Good luck.
Hope you get what your heart desires.
And in future...hold on to the good things you got. Because you sometimes dont get another chance with them. i know i probally wont.
(now go listen to Bon Jovi - Living on a prayer, and pay special attention to the lyrics)
My girlfriend recently dumped me because she said she now saw me as more of a friend (yeah...one of those dumpings) than as someone she loved.She basically said what you said to the 21 year old. you cant force a feeling. She said there was a point when she did love me for the first couple of months but then she said i was more like a really good friend she didnt want to loose. I was so hurt when she said she didnt want to be with me because everyday of the 7 months we'd been going out i had said i loved her. And i still really did...well...actually i still really do. present tense.
This is probally what that 21 year old is thinking now.
That might seem mean to say that but if you wait a sec im going to go from the position of the 17 year old.
Now that who girl dumped me; (like you dumped the 17 year old to begin with) hurt me bad, but if she came back to me now, 2 months later and said "would you go back out with me", i still love her so much that i'd be straight back in there. no matter what shes done to me or how much ive been hurting, I still love her so much that i would take her back with no questions asked.
Now, as i said at the beggining it may be different for you because the people your talking about are girls, and im a guy. But if that 17 year old still loves you and REALLY loves you then she wont care what youve done, she'll just be happy to have you back, just as i would be happy to have my girlfriend back despite her dumping me.
So my advice i guess, would be.
If you think this 17 year old girl is amazing, kind, considerate, wouldnt hurt a fly, is understanding and forgiving, then ask her back out and if she really is the person you think, shell just be glad to have you again.
If not...then she isnt the person you thought she was.
Good luck.
Hope you get what your heart desires.
And in future...hold on to the good things you got. Because you sometimes dont get another chance with them. i know i probally wont.
(now go listen to Bon Jovi - Living on a prayer, and pay special attention to the lyrics)
